Isabel and her twin's Due Date
Monday the 20th is Isabel and her twin's due date and I have no idea how I'm going to cope, the closer it gets the more I fall apart again. I should be welcoming them into my life crying, moving, living, a family at last but instead I'll be visiting the cemetary.
No one seems to remember or care it's just life as usual, not my family my friends or even my husbad seem to realise just how much it still hurts everyday let alone how much monday is going to mean to me. I feel like because of that I'm going to have to do it all alone and I just don't know how to.
I want my baby back, I want my babies back.
I want the happily ever after not the memories of her lying still and cold beside me.
I don't want the memories of her kicking my husband and making him smile to cut me inside. I don't want the feels of letting myself, my husband and our parents down.
I just want them back.
Why?