Help me get her to sleep better!

Ok 2 things I need help with!

1. DD wakes up everytime I put her down!! She needs to be rocked to sleep but then when I try and put her down she wakes up! Sometimes if I put her on her tummy she sleeps better (only do it during the day though), I think it's because she's more in the same position as she fell asleep when I was holding her. I have tried putting her in her bassinette and rocking it or patting her but this doesn't work. She starts whinging a bit which I think 'ok maybe she'll just whinge a bit then go to sleep' but no it gets to screaming and I have to pick her up, then when I try and put her down again she just goes straight to the screaming again, lol. So eventually after getting her to sleep and putting her down and her waking up and repeating this a billion times I finally just give up and put her in the hug-a-bub and she goes straight to sleep pretty much. Cheeky. This would be ok but I can't do anything during the day!! She wakes up if I make too much noise or have to bend over to get something, etc. I want her to sleep in her basinnette during the day! Help!! (pmsl of course just as I write this she has to prove me wrong and I've successfully got her to sleep in her bassinette).

2. How do I get her to bed earlier at night?? She is demand fed so she sort of decides herself when she goes to sleep bc she has some cluster feeds and night and one really long feed before she goes to sleep. And she has decided she will have this feed no earlier than 10pm!! So she doesn't get to sleep until about 11pm. Too late! I want her to go to bed earlier but I can't just force feed her, lol.

Any suggestions would be great!! Thankyou!!

Cant really help with the getting her to sleep bit. I remember the first 3 months being like that tho.. i just did what i had to do and one day she just went to sleep.

As for the bedtime.. also Mia did the same thing. Her bedtime was 10-11pm coz i couldnt get her in bed any earlier. As she got older i was able to establish a better routine and now she goes to bed at 7pm.

Sorry its not much advice but letting u know i went through the same thing.

:comfort: heaven! It's so hard in those first few months. You're getting used to bub and bub is getting used to the world. She's so used to being warm and snuggly in your womb so now she still wants to be all warm and snuggly next to you. It makes it hard doesn't it.

My DS was like that too. He wanted to be cuddled and cried if I put him down. I ended up cuddling him to sleep (and for the whole duration of the sleep) for his first 10 weeks. I have to say, it drove me a bit nuts though - couldn't do anything while he was sleeping, including go to the loo! Once he reached 10 weeks I was at my wits end and I transitioned him into his cradle. I got some advice and what worked for me was having a little wind-down routine (feed, book, grobag, bed) before the sleep and then putting him down awake. If he cried I patted him and if that didn't work, I cuddled him. Then I'd put him down again. It was REALLY hard to do and after a few days he would go off to sleep on his own (until he was about 5 months old until things changed again). I definitely can't leave bub to cry so this seemed like the best option for me at the time. Might not work for you.

About the bedtime thing - DS seemed to prefer having his bigger sleep in the afternoon. He'd pretty much sleep from 12 to 5 with a little awake time at about 3. What worked for me was creating a bedtime routine that included a relaxation bath. After a little while he would read the cues and realise that bath = bedtime. I also demand feed so I'd just continue to feed overnight when needed. I found that using a dummy really helped though - sometimes he'd just want to suck so I'd pop the dummy in and he'd go back to sleep.

Your bub is still so new so she may just settle down anyway. Be kind to yourself and keep in mind that things change, no matter what you do. Sounds like you're doing really well so far :hug:

Sorry for the long post!

:hug: aww hun I know its hard isnt it!

First off I want to say you are doing a fabulous job :clap:

What she is doing sounds normal to me ;) I know that doesnt help make your life easier, and I know thats probably not what you want to hear! But be assured that it is normal and she will grow out of it :) Just keep doing what youre doing hun.

Honestly try to enjoy her while she is so small - it really does go too fast - my 'newborn' is nearly 6mths already!

xo

Heaven-I remeber the first 10 or so weeks like that! Not going to sleep before about 11pm!! But it does get better my DS now goes to sleep around 6:30pm and he has done it himself.
I was also like Babymama, just held him while he slept! :rolleyes: Not very heplful I know but you are doing a great job! Enjoy your beautiful little bubba!!

Thankyou everyone :hug: I feel better knowing it's the same for everyone. When will she change? Will she be sleeping on me forever? lol. Do I have to do anything to help her sleep better on her own?

It frustrates me that she only sleeps on me and I can't do anything but then trying to get her to sleep in her basinette frustrates me even more so I end up just going for the trusty HAB!

I will try to focus on enjoying the cuddles, lol.

Thankyou for all your suggestions! I am going to start a bedtime routine from tonight!

Heaven,

As eveyone else has said Bella was exactly the same for about the first 3 months... BUT now she will not let me rock her to sleep and RARELY sleeps with me holding her at all now she like to be put down in her cot and puts her self to sleep! How I miss when she would only sleep with me holding her!

Also Bella was a night owls also and would have her last feed at like 11-12 and then go to bed and I just went with what ever she wanted now she has her last bottle at about 6.45 and then off to bed and gets up at 8 the folowing morning. This was a routine that she settled into her self! She starts to get tiered at 6 but I stretch her out a bit so she will sleep longer!

So there is deff a light at the end of the tunnel. I am of the beliefe that if you let them set the rules and the pace (even tho its hard at the start) then they will settle into whats best for them and not need to be foreced into anything.. just my 2 cents!

Kate

Age will help her sleep better on her own. I called it the magical "12 week" mark. I was BFing Mia at that age and i was so stuffed.. waking 4-5 times a night. Taking hours to get her to sleep... and all the crying.. oh the crying :( She just woke up one day around 12 weeks and it was like she couldnt be bothered crying anymore and she worked out.. hay.. i feel much better when i sleep.

Keep doing everything u are doing. If that is rocking her to sleep then so be it. One day she will suprise u and just stay asleep. Are u feeding her to sleep? that might help coz shes got a full tum? Can u hang a mobile on her bassinet so she gets used to it being "a nice place" to be. Some people find them lamps that make shapes move around on the roof help, so mayb look into one of them? What about getting a swing for her? Lots of babies sleep in them and it saves u rocking here..


bbs.. Mia is in my bookcase again!!!!!!! argh!

:comfort:

All very normal behaviour. I had a baby that would scream most of the night if I so much as thought of getting off the lounge, would not get off me at all given half a chance. But on his own, at the magical 12 weeks mark, things started to change. He will start sorting out his own routine in his own time. I thought it would never happen, then one day it simply does and you wonder how it happened. Just go with the flow. Accepting that my DS would decide what to do and when was a step in the right direction for me. Suddenly it did not seem so hard anymore.

Enjoy the cuddles now, I miss them so much :cry: My DS is now a very active toddler and I fondly remember the days of cuddling on the lounge and not moving. It feels like forever now, but too soon it will disappear.

Tracey

Thankyou again, I am going to just go with it (bugger the housework) and enjoy it instead of stressing about what she should be doing!! Ahhh.... I feel better already. Though I'm going to have to get better at typing one handed.

And guess what!!!!!!!!!!!! We tried out a little bed time routine and I got her down at 8.30pm last night!!!!!!!!!!!!! Big difference!!

Hi Heaven...it all sounds very normal for a 6 week old bub.

I found if I rocked/fed DD until she was drowsy and then put her down, she seemed to be happier about going in the bassinet than if I put her down asleep (they have such good sensors for being put down don't they?) It didn't work all the time, but on those occassions it did work, I could at least have a shower or do some housework.

I spent SO much time in the fiirst 10 weeks worrying about all the things I "should" be doing and bad habits I was possibly forming etc. Arrgh! It was crap. Then, at the 12 weeks mark, DD started showing me her preferences. Now she goes to bed at 7pm, will settle herself to sleep and only wakes twice for feeds in the night. She is easier to put down for naps and is such a little person now.

The period from 6-12 weeks is not necessarily easier than the first 6 weeks, because bub is suddenly aware of the world, and sleeps less, BUT then it starts getting much easier.

Hang in there. The Hug a bub was my lifesaver, as were afternoon naps.

You're doing such a great job with her...and you will be rewarded for all those cuddles you're giving her now. She will trust in you and be easier to put down when she is ready because of it.

Heaven, Miss J is still abit like this during the day. At night we have a little bedtime routine for her and it helps her go down a lot earlier - same as the one we did with DD1 which worked for her too.

We start with naked time and some tummy time on the floor, then I giver her a massage. Then she has a nice warm bath and gets into her pyjamas. She feeds one side, I wrap her and give her the other side. By the time she has finished she is really sleepy so I burp her and put her to bed. She generally goes off to sleep around 7-8pm with that routine.

Thanks girls!! She went down at 8.30 again last night so the routine is working!! Yay!

BUT (of course there's a but), she sleeps until 12.30 and then is up every 1-2 hrs after that wanting a feed! Not a good time for cluster feeding. With that? She used to have 2 longer sleeps at night, would only wake up for 1 feed in the middle.

Mmmm, can't help. I was in exactly the same boat. and just gave in. DD took ALL her day sleeps in the HAB for the first 3 months. And in the evening I would feed her to sleep on the couch where she slept (and woke for feeds) until I took her to bed with me. I was lucky, though that she could sleep really well in the HAB and through lots of noise. Actually, she slept best if I took her shopping - typical girl, hey, happiest when shopping).
When she was about 3 months I started to put her to bed at around 7pm. And she also did some of her day sleeps in bed. I would feed her to sleep while lying down, then sneak away (I had a bed rail on my bed). At night time, it sometimes took 1-2 hours for me to be able to get away. But it gradually got better and better.
I could not put her to sleep in my arms and then transfer her. It just didn't work.
at about 6 months I had to transfer her to the cot at least for the time I wasn't in bed with her. She had started to crawl and did once crawl off the bottom end of the bed. It took a while, but I learnt that DD just hated sleeping on her back. So I rocked her to sleep in my arms, then gently rolled her onto her side in the cot. She still, to this day sleeps either on her belly or side.

It will get better.
Sasa

You're doing a fabulous job :clap: That's great that she's already going to bed earlier.

At her age it's great if she sleeps for 4 hours until midnight too. It might take some time for bub to get used to the 'bigger' sleep at night too so she may just surprise you and go back to waking once.

Bubs change so much - once you think you've got it all worked out, things can change. Don't worry too much about her cluster feeding in the early hours of the morning (though I know how exhausting it is). She'll stretch out the time between those feeds eventually. Just go with it, relax and trust in what you're doing as a mum.