11 month old refusing to sleep in his cot...HELP!!!!!

OMG I AM SOOO TIRED. I am mother to 11 month old twins Frank and Max. Up until a month ago I had no real sleeping dramas. Frank was always a restless sleeper but he always slept in his cot. Now every night he will wake and refuse to go back to sleep on his own. I have tried control crying which worked in the past but now it is just waking max. I can not seperate them as I am pregnant with my third and will need that room soon enough. he fell out of our bed once so we have resorted to using a sofa bed mattress on the floor. How much longer can I do this for... I do not know... I am at my witts end... sore tired and pregnant.

Racheal

Oh dear!
Is the mattress on the floor a long-term option? We moved DS to a mattress when he as about 7 months old cause he just would NOT sleep in his cot. Some babies just don't like to be confined, particularly if they are very restless during the night. Is there room for a mattress on the floor and a cot in the room...? (not sure what your sleeping arrangements are exactly).

the matteress is in the lounge at the moment but was thinking of putting it in their room. It is so thin though and most nights he ends up using it as a pillow with the rest of his body on the floor. He sleeps fine in his cot during the day!:wall:?

Yeah, DS used to sleep happily in the cot during the day, though that stopped after a while too. Sounds like he's happy to sleep on the mattress though, right? If he's sleeping and your other boy is sleeping and you are sleeping... then it's probably your best option at the moment.
It might give you some peace of mind to shift it to the room so he's somewhat contained and not free to roam if he wakes up.

If you are going to let him sleep on the floor make sure that room is 100% baby proof as he'll wake up and crawl or walk everywhere and get into everything. Sorry I dont have any suggestions

Hi there!

:think: Idea One:

So I come with a loaded question first - is sleeping on a matress without a cot that big an issue?

I am not sure that I have the answer but we have taken a very Montessori style of approach to parenting and one of those things is the use of a low bed. Montessori wrote of the benefits from birth but we used a cot with DS1 until 3 months before DS2 was due (so until he turned one). From then on we had our children use the cot during the day and moved between co-sleeping and cot sleeping at night. Using the cot was mostly to protect them from older siblings, not themselves, until they could crawl onto the low bed themselves. After that, we took the cot away.

:think: Idea Two:

The next loaded question is - should pregnancy / impending birth stop you from using the extra bedroom?

If one child is a brilliant sleeper is there any reason why the baby couldn't share a room them for a while. This is of course, assuming also that you don't intend to have baby in your room in the early months anyway. If you are intending to have baby in your room for the early months then, based on your ticker you have bought yourself 6 months to find a solution for your troubled sleeper. Believe me - six months goes so fast and I am sure that you expected baby won't remember!

:think: Idea Three:

Find out why he is not sleeping. Often if a child is tired they will go to sleep of their own accord. Is your little man uncomfortable (too hot, too cold or in pain), thirsty, hungry, have tummy pains, wanting comfort by way of cuddles or a toy (or in my case a pre-sweat-odourised-jumper), or is he simply not yet tired? There are lots of reasons for a child not settling and finding out why has always seemed to be pivotal to resolving things with my boys. Maybe if you spend a couple of days watching his clues really closely you may find the problem so that you can solve it?

Best wishes!

Thanks girls for all your feedback. Well I seperated the boys and guess what... the problem has gotten worse!! I now have both babies screaming most of the night. I rang the maternal child health line and they suggested booking into the o connell family centre. Has any tried this? She also suggested sleeping them bith back together again and sleeping in the room until they learn to settle in the cot again then slowly moving the mattress out?

I am now at my wits end.:wall:

:hug:
Ok, have I got this right?
They like to be together at night?
Frank doesn't like being in the cot and prefers the mattress during the night?
Could you all sleep on the floor together for now? Sometimes they just need a little reassurance, then once they settle a bit you can try gently changing your sleeping arrangements again.
You could try sleeping together for a bit, and see if they settle better that way. After a bit, when things seem better, try falling asleep together then transferring them to the cot (that might take several attempts the first few nights, but keep trying and comfort them if they get upset). Then, once they get used to that you can try settling in the cot, all the while gradually reducing your input - so start with the rocking, patting etc to begin with, then when that seems to work well do less, maybe change to music/singing and you just having a hand(s) on them. The next stage is to gradually move away from them until you're out of the room while they're going to sleep.
The key is to do it gradually and always come back to them to comfort them if they're upset becuase pushing changes while they're distressed may only make things worse for you.
I have had some success with the No-Cry Sleep Solution. Maybe try getting a copy at your local library and have a look - she really has some good practical advice on all sorts of situations.

Really hope things get better for you soon

well last night i think we may have turned a corner. I put both the cots back in the one room with a mattress on the floor. I had to pick up Max twice as he was unsettled. Around ten both woke so we all went to sleep on the mattress. Around half an hour later Frank was crawling around crying and Max was just rolling everywhere! I had had enough! I changed both of them, kissed them goodnight and placed them in their cots. It was mayhem!! Screaming like murder. So I placed a chair between their cots and sat their rubbing their backs. Once they where settled I left the room. Frank took about 45 mins of in and repeating this to fall asleep while Max almost took 2 hours!! I suppose it was a form of controlled crying but I tell you what.. once they where asleep they did not peep until bottle time this morning.

I am not sure if this will work but they where certainly happy sleeping on their own in the same room than on the floor rolling into one another!

Will keep you updated!

Ah, hadn't thought about them bumping into each other :doh: It really is extra hard with two!
I hope you guys can find a way through this and can get some rest. Does your partner help out at all during the night?

YAHHHHHH!!!

My little boys slept through the night! Max woke once and it only took one go to get him to sleep. Fingers crossed!

Well done Rach!!! I am having a similar drama myself (but only with one obviously). How long did it take them to calm down while you were rubbing their backs? My baby doesn't seem to settle with rubbing (she just gets more agitated) but I'm not sure if perhaps I'm not persisting for long enough.....
anyway, sorry for the hijack, I did want to say :happyforyou: congratulations!