To find out or not find out ????

Having a dilema as hubbie and I can't make up our minds if we will find out the sex of the baby or not.

To give a little background - this is our first pregnancy and most likely will be our only chance at having a baby ... IVF baby after 5 goes and I'm 41.... half of me wants to find out now and the other half wants to find out on the day. Hubbie is the same.

I know the decision is ours at the end of the day but just to help me along what did you girls decide and why?

we had two surprises and wouldnt have it any other way!
to birth my babies and for us to find out in our own time what we'd had was priceless!!
it was a magical moment for hubby and i both times!

I didn't find out the sex either and I wouldn't do it any other way. I loved not knowing.

I think apart of most people want to know what the baby is at the morphology scan although I agree nothing beats the surprise at the end after the birth of knowing what you have being blessed with. I didn't find out with either of mine and although I wanted to know the surprise at the end was so worth the wait.

I didn't find out with either of mine and was so excited to just meet our baby that I really wouldn't have cared if they were a boy or a girl. I loved the element of surprise and I think I would have found it too hard to keep a secret from family who didn't want to know. With my first DH wanted to find out the sex but I didn't and it was actually him that said he didn't want to find out for the second!

:hide:I had to find out. I like to be able to plan and I'm not big on surprises. And I just couldn't wait. I found out with both ds and dd (who is still cooking). I'm glad I found out with both of them. I found it helped me bond with them while I'm pregnant. With dd we have been able to choose her name and start calling her that. Now we say to ds, where is Emily, he comes over puts my shirt up and gives it a pat, hug or kiss. Its very cute.
I think you need to decide what YOU want and what you feel happy doing!!!

:yeahthat: I'm with Mum2...i definitely wanted to know and I love knowing I have a little boy growing inside me. I LOVE being able to organise all the clothes etc and also agree on the "bonding" factor - calling the baby "Blake" has definitely been really nice.

I actually HATE surprises so knowing is a comfort - but I understand people who like the surprise at the end. Good luck with your decision.

DP and I basically decided from the beginning that we're going to find out for a few reasons:

1. He comes from a large family and they have been already buying things for Sprout. I can only accept so many yellow, white and green items before the bub ends up looking like an Easter egg once they're out!
2. My extended (and only) family is in Canada and they're busy knitting, crocheting and buying away. They're desperate to know so they can feel as close to the baby as possible without having the opportunity to be physically present.
3. I think it'll give DP and I the chance to bond with Sprout better - and stop calling the baby Sprout!! - once we know what we're having.

I always thought I'd leave it as a surprise but now that it's happening, I think logistically for myself and my family it's just much easier to find out. Plus I was - and sadly still am at times :redface: - the girl who snuck downstairs on Christmas Eve, carefully unwrapped my gifts to check them out and then wrapped them back up again in stealth-mode so who am I to fool myself into thinking that all of a sudden I'll be great with surprises?! :)

We couldn't decide whether to find out or not, but baby definitely wanted us to know he was a boy! He made the decision for us :D

I wanted to know and as it turned out they could not give me a sure answer anyway. Don't forget that if you do choose to find out, they may not be able to tell becuase of position or etc and it might be a surprise anyway!

we've just decided we'll find out...

i was always big on Not Knowing but for some reason that has changed. I'd say probably because of ivf, finding out the sex is at least something we can control iykwim.

DH didn't believe in keeping it for a suprise and wnated to find out. So i had a think about it and i just sort of dawned on me that, yes, i do wnat to know.

I feel completely comfortable with our decision.

But we aren't going to tell anyone, unless they really press us and we won't select a name til after we meet bubs. we'll have a shortlist and then see what suits. we are finding out just for ourselves.

We also don't live near any family so it's not like i have to hide it or whatever. andl like someone else said, i can buy suitable stuff over the next few months.... given i won't be working, i want to spend the money while i still have it.

hope that helps you make your decision! in the end, it's each to their own.
ox

We've found out the gender with each pregnancy for pretty much the same reasons as Mum2 & ControlFreak have described. I am a person that needs to know things in advance so I can process it then plan and organise. It wasn't that we minded what we were having, we just wanted to know in advance so we could plan, pick a name, bond, etc. It has been great each time to be able to buy/borrow clothes in advance so you don't have to worry about it once the baby is here.

I completely understand why some people like to keep it as a surprise and I admire anyone who has the self control! I think it all comes down to our own personalities and what we feel we need/want.

Good luck deciding!

I'm a party pooper because I just had to know! I would have loved to ahve been suprised but I have to plan for everything. So yeah we found out. Congrats!

I didn't find out with my first 3 but during my 4th we decided to.. While I was pleased to know what we were having I wish we had waited. I love the guessing game. Its fun..

so for me I prefered not finding out

surprise definately!

Its heaps of fun while your pregnant
people telling you their thoughts on what sex it is and why
then once the baby comes, its fun to see who got it right and who didn't

I just bought heaps of white and yellow clothes with dd
but seriously.. once that baby joins the world you will get SOOOO many beautiful clothes (you almost don't need to buy anything!) - its crazy!

I don't think DD wore any of her yellow clothes, we had so many girly clothes after a week (and i didn't buy any of them!)

good luck with your decision!

I didn't find out with either of my girls and I'm so glad I didn't. As both births didn't go quite as planned I had the most wonderful ending when DP was able to present our baby and tell me "it's a girl". It was so special to have DP be the one to tell me what we had rather than someone we had never met before in our lives. It was his special moment in the delivery room.

As tellytubby said, we just bought a few white essentials (and I think white is gorgeous on a newborn, so pure) and everyone flooded us with pink clothes - I think we bought one outfit and all the others were gifts.

I'm the type of personality that probably would have found out if given the opportunity but DP is dead set on a surprise - I'm now really glad glad as there are few such wonderful surprises in the world. It's also another step in the 'letting go' process I am finding myself undertaking in my journey towards motherhood. Normally I'm a bit of a control freak and get anxious and panicky in situations where I loose that control: birth is going to be the one time I really have to totally surrender to the process and place my trust in that process so not knowing the sex of our baby , for me at least, is part of that.
On top of all that I've been having some 'issues' dealing with the possibility of having a daughter due to my own family history of mother-daughter relationships: whilst knowing if I'm carrying a girl would have definately forced me to deal with these issues now (as I am), knowing if it is a boy would probably mean I'd be relieved and not face those demons which probably need to faced anyway regardless of the sex of my child.
Those are my reasons for not finding out and everyone is individual - you really have to go with your gut instinct. And as someone already pointed out - sometimes baby is determined to keep you in the dark anyway!

I haven't found out with any of them. I mostly loved not knowing. I actually think it bugged other people not knowing more than it did us..lol. I also liked being able to answer people who asked what are you having with the answer "a baby" cos I knew they wanted to know girl or boy and it always got them. haha. Mind you they never believe that you don't know the gender anyway!

In short, for me the surprise at the end of the cooking process and at the end of labour trumps knowing before :D If I were to have another I still wouldn't find out.