hmm...theories any one?

okay i dont know how to start this so i think i will just write till its all off my chest!! okay here goes.. my DS Father has only been in his life for almost 12 mths as a result of a DNA test that i asked him to do and he agreed to be apart of my sons life and take on the role as a father and to his credit he has done that but about 2 mths after this guy found out he had a son his gf fell pregnant ive know this girl for a while and everything was ok between us as there was no need for jelousy at all that was until she fell pregnant...a few things have happened since then (july) but it got sorted out until the other day i found out that the gf dad STILL doesnt know that her partner already has a son and this is not his firstborn..i also heard that she didnt want Zayviers name in the birth notice i can understand that this is her first and she wants the spotlight on her but she could even put little half-sister for Zayvier if she wants to seggregate him that wouldnt bother me and they had their child friday night and the father hasnt come to get Zayvier yet to go meet his sister and he is the type of guy that if i try to talk to him about it he will fly off the handle...i just dont know what to do and ive got the worst feeling that hes going to have the at first sight love with this child because hes been there from the startand hes going to love her more than his first born son because Zayvier was 13mths when he found out about him!! i just dont know what to do im really angry but not because i want to get angry im angry for my son who has to miss out..like i understand that they want to bond with there baby i get that but i havnt even has so muchy as a text saying let Zayvier know he has a little sister her name is.... i just do so much to make them feel comfortable and it just feel like it gets thrown back in my face...hmm i think im done!!

awww sweet :hug: sounds hard VERY hard. I understand what ur saying about the fact you feel for your son cause it seems now he may be missing out. Its not fair! Really your son has you and if his father doesnt want to be there for him its the father that's the one missing out as your son has very loving mother that cares and worries for him. :) . Such a shame tho as when the father regrets it... it could be to late. Lets just hope that with his new child, that triggers deep thought and nothing i just said comes to past as he realizes he has been pulling away and that just simply is not fair.

That sounds so tricky. :hug: I guess you can't force your DS' father to act any particular way.

In the end - hard as it may be, if the man won't spend time with his son, then he is only a father in the biological sense. Perhaps one day you will have a great relationship with a man who will spend time with your son - who will end up being your child's real dad. If that makes sense. But time will tell.

Anyway. That probably hasn't been particularly helpful in terms of your current situation. I guess I just wanted to give you some hope, that if things don't work out great, there is more to fatherhood than who actually made the baby.

yervery true im not going to contact him if he wants to see his son then he can contact me im not going to force it any more.. its just hard when he comes and gets DS because he cries and ijust feel like saying to him yes youhave him every second weekend but ehe obvisoly is comfortable with going and this is why you need to see him more!! we livein the same town for crying out load!!! i just dont understand how some one can not see their kid for 2 weeks!!! hmph.....:wall:

big hugs

i used to see my day one week end a month and i have a great relationship with my dad now :)

yer i didnt see my dad very often and i have a good relationship wit him but Zay hasnt even known his dad for 12 mths so i thort that he woulda put a bit more effort in so DS would get to kno him better!! maybeim just being silly!!!

i just wanted to give you hugs....your son is very lucky to have a great mum like you

thanks for the hugs!!! i try to be a good mum...it seems to be working.. i hate it when his father does come and get him because DS just screams and doesnt want to go and i have to try andbe cheerful and just put him in the car..he comes home happyenough so i think theytreat him okay!!