Some mothers day comfort from SIDS and Kids newsletter
Hi, the current issue of the Sids and Kids Victoria newsletter has some lovely comfort for mothers day. Thought I'd share some of it:
I am a mother
To the outside world I'm not a mother.
I have no children clinging to my arm or running to greet me or throwing tantrums in supermarket aisles.
I'm not even a mother on paper but I AM.
In a silent world of 'I love you' and absent cuddles. My little boy is. He'll always be my baby even as years go by.
He won't grow like other boys in height, strength and mind, but he'll grow with love that I can give, even though he isn't in sight.
So please don't think of me as a single or married woman, but as a mother for that is what I am.
Michelle Neilson, reprinted from SANDS Qld newsletter April 1995.
Ideas for mothers day
For those who have lost a child an approaching mother's day can be filled with feelings of dread, sadness, anxiety and confusion...
Trying to work out how to keep yourself and those around you happy, when you know you will have many moments missing your child is a difficult and challenging thought. There is no one way to do it right, except to work out what is the best thing to do for your own self, for your partner, for your children (if you have them) and for your family, including your own mother.
Some suggestions:
- If you want to spend Mother's day quietly with just you and your partner, or just you and your children, then consider seeing your own mum at another time. There is nothing wrong with declaring your own mother's day for her and doing something special as a thank you at that time.
- If you attend family gatherings, give yourself permission to leave early if you feel this is best for you.
- Take time to share your feelings with your partner. Each of you are entitiled to your own feelings, and they will probably be different, but by sharing these you go through the day much more together.
- You may choose to take time to do something special or private to acknowledge your loss and remember your child. You may choose to:
Light a candle
Read a poem
Put more photos out of your child
Visit the cemetery
Go to a favourite place that you used to visit with your child
Play a special song
Plant a flower, shrub or tree.
- Be kind to yourself by doing something you really enjoy like:
Visiting some natural place outdoors
A walk along the beach
Bake a special cake
A drive to the hills
- Plan to develop your own traditions and rituals to make meaning of the day just for you.
Unknown Source
