my past week :'(

well i dont no were to even begin.. i was 14 weeks pregnant the other day and i noticed a bit of light pink spot bleeding.. i went to the hospilte they checked my blood pressure and that told me i was fine and sent me home. the next day i had bright red spot bleeding went back same thing sent me home... i had no cramps or anything..i new somthing waswrong in my heart. i went to a different hospitle seen the doc after 14 hours of waiting they sent me in for an emergancy ultrasound my baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks... i went in that avo for a curette (sorry if it isnt spelt properly) ive been back home now for 2days and im a emotioal wreck... whats wrong with me why did my baby die i didnt do anything wrong and it isnt the first time this has happed i have to go in for test's in 6 weeks im worried that there is somthing wrong with me... and wonder weather its worth to try again im over the heart ache. is their light at the end of the tunnel... i have no family around they live too far away.... i feel frozen. my hubby wont even talk about it.. and went i talk to him about it... he says... not to talk about it... he doesnt even want to try and have another baby any time under a year.. i dont no what to do is there someone who can help me.

Im so sorry for your loss and i am thinking of you both. I'm sorry i don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know that we are here to talk.:hug::hug:

Oh I'm so very sorry to hear of your precious angels horsemad. I want to let you know that you have found a forum with the most amazing and understanding people. Please allow yourself time to grieve and be very gentle with yourself and your DH(hubby). Men do deal with losses in a very different way but please trust me when I say that he is hurting too hun.
I hope you are able to find some answers in a few weeks time. There are lots of tests that can be done these days and lots of things out there that can help you have your "here forever" baby :hug:

sending you lots of hugs hun.

Maybe your husband just needs some time to process whats happened. Maybe give him a little bit of time.

We are all here if you wanna chat.
xx

thank you everyone :'( the hardest part for me was waking up after the surgry and knowing my baby is no longer there with me

hi horsemad, welcome to BB, so sorry that it had to be under these circumstances, I am so sorry for the loss of your angel baby, sending you huge hugs hun, I feel your pain.....my dp was a bit like that too, when we lost our bub 2 yrs ago, if not for bellybelly I dont know how I would have coped.
keep talking hun, there are plenty of us who have been through it and can help by listening.
be gentle with yourself, dont try to bottle it up, let yourself grieve.
xx

hi horsemad so sorry for your loss

we went to Sands for support they can offer you over the phone help and also have meetings each month. It is also good for husbands as it offers somewhere for them to get it out rather than just thinking they need to support you and will not talk about it
SANDS 9899 0217 SANDS Australia

Horsemad, I'm so sorry you lost your precious baby. I had a missed miscarriage too a couple of years back and IKWYM about waking up after the curette, knowing your baby is gone. :comfort: Give yourself time to grieve, regroup, recuperate and get yourself as healthy, physically and emotionally, as possible. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Much love and hugs.

Kerry

Im so sorry for your loss :hug:

Please allow yourself to grieve, its very important. And just take it one day at a time at the moment :hug:

I know im not much help im sorry but i just wanted to offer my support.

thank you to everyone you have no idea how much it means to me.
this is my 3rd loss. all first trimester. is it still posible to fall pregnant and keep my baby im worryied that when we try again the same thing will happen and personaly i dont no if i could take it again. i reckon you become a mother the minute you become pregnant. the thought of life forming in your womb is soo joyful. i dont want to fall pregnant again as i feel that im putting my baby's life in danger buy creating him/her.
i dont want them to suffer i feel as thought they do. with this last pregnancy before we started trying i went for blood tests and all that to see if i was in the all clear. nothing abnormal showed up. im young,fit and healthy. im not over weight, i quite smoking. i dont drink. i was taking folic acid tables for 3 months before trying and during. i ate healthy, excersied in the pool so i didnt raise my temp. and it still my baby died. after i gets test's done in two weeks again i will let you no how it goes but ive had them and nothing was abnormal. so what could be causeing this. everytime we tryed i fell pregnant with in two weeks. i just dont no what im doing wrong.

i was also wondering how long should you wait after a curette to try again. just so i no this was my first one. the others i just let come out naturaly but with this one my body thought bub was still alive so i had to make the choice of a curette

Horsemad, I am so so sorry hun. I can't imagine having to go through 3 losses, it's just not fair. I am sorry you've got no answers ATM, but please keep looking as it might be something simple that can be fixed. Have they checked if your blood is ok, ie it's not clotting? I don't know much about it, but I have read somewhere that some women who have had several early losses, find out in the end that they had something wrong with the blood, and got put onto asprin and they were then able to carry a pg. Worth looking into it maybe.
It sounds like you have no probs getting pg but keeping the pg is an issue. It might be one of those 'unfortunate' things, bad luck, mother nature being unkind (so often doctors' words), but I would definitely keep looking for some answers of why this is happening to you.
Also I wanted to say that men do grieve very differently to us, maybe not talking about it is easier for your partner as then he doesn't have to face his loss. I would gently encourage him to talk. I once accused my DF of not caring enough about losing our little boy, as he just seemed, well, normal. He then told me that the reason why he looked 'normal' was because he didn't want me to see how upset he was, so I didn't get even more upset. We just continued to talk, and now can talk about our loss openly.
As for you question about when you can try again after a currette, I would only guess maybe after a couple of 'normal' cycles?? I know some women's cycles get a bit out of sync after a D&C and they try again after a couple of 'normal' cycles.
I don't know if I help you at all, but I want to wish you all the best for your future and I hope you can hold your bundle of joy in your arms soon.
Beata xxx

I just wanted to give u a big hug, and say that i am so sorry for your loss.
I dont have enough words for you atm, but you have come to a wonderful place full of love and support.
Please keep posting here, there are alot of women who have been or who are going through something similar.

again im sorry for your loss :hug:

Horsemad firstly :welcome: to bb they are an amazing bunch of woman thats for sure...secondly im so sorry to hear about your angel babies may they fly free and watch over your family..maybe DH doesnt want to try again for a little while becausr he hates seeiong u upset and that he cant do anything to help??? please keep us posed and come in here whenever you need to vent!!! even if you think you are rambling!!! xox

i found this website when i was pregnant looking around about what i should do ect
and then after i lost my baby on wed i came back on here and found there is a whole section dedicated to people who have lost there baby's. i thought id join i reckon its the best thing ive done you's are a great help just having someone to talk to is realy good.
im waiting for a letter in the mail for an app to go back to the hospitle for further tests.
i hope wish and pray that they find why this keeps happening and that it can be fixed.
i dont want to keep creating life for for them to die. it feels like im delibrtly creating them to murder them. i wouldnt wish this apon anyone. i have the babys room all set up in hope oneday i will have a mirical healthy pregnancy and there will be a baby in that room. i always stop and look in there when ever im passing i try to think positive that it will happen when the time is right. a baby that will love me for who i am, regarless to weather im fat,skinny,ugly or pretty. the baby will depend on me to love, and care for him/her. as for my hubby i tried to speak to him and ask him why he isnt upset he said he is it was very hard on him to loose our baby but he also had a bigger worry of me he wants to be strong for us both its hard for him to watch me cry all the time and it was hard for him when i went in for the curette as anything could have happened. so it was reliving for me to hear him say that.

Hi Horsemad,
I have just come accross your thread and had a read through. I am very sorry you have suffered another very sad loss. I too suffered a missed m/c this past January and also had a curette.
I am glad you have spoken to your hubby about this as now you can understand that he is hurting too and work through this together. My Dr told me that is is ok to try to concieve when ever I feel like it, but I think in your case I would wait until you get the tests done so hopefully, you dont have to suffer any more losses.
I am happy you found BellyBelly and know you will get all the support you need.

Good Luck and Take Care.

im sorry for your loss too. its a horrible thing.
its my parters birthday today it hasnt been a very good one.. one min im sad next angry and soo forth. it feels like 6 weeks is too far away to wait for the tests and results why cant they do them now. i realy want to no whats wrong its eating me up inside.
is it normal for me not to be eating atm i try and eat but im not hungry and everything i eat ends up in the toilet, ive droped from 60kg to 55kg since the curette on wed. i just carnt bring myself to eat. i can drink with out no probs. i started to take multi vitimens
cause im not getting what i need because im not eatimg.