trying to change bed time to earlier

We have a pretty good night time with Emma. She alternates between cuddles & play with us on the lounge while we watch TV of a night, then once we go to bed she is asleep on me. We have a cuddle for a while, then she goes into the cot & is happy, waking once for a feed most of the time.

The only problem is that because she is up with us she doesnt really go to sleep until about 9-10pm, then doesnt get up until around 9am. So sometimes when we have to go ouy or DH wakes her when he gets up, she doesnt get enough sleep. So the ideal solution would be if she went to bed earlier. But I dont know how it could change? I am not interested in forcing the issue, but wonder if there are any ideas you all have to encourage sleep earlier in the evening. Or do you think I should just go with what is coming naturally & not try to change things?

TIA

Hi Linda, if you are happy to leave it for a while, you might find this changes itself. Tamsin used to go to bed at about 10-11 p.m. but in the last 2 weeks or so she has been gradually going to sleep around an hour earlier with no prompting from us.

We've got a nightly routine of last feed 7pm and bed 7.30pm each night. She wasn't going to bed until much later before that. I had to change how I put her to bed though, and instead of holding her for an hour I now just put her in bed awake. Took afew days but she goes to sleep on her own now. I just put her in and for the first few days I would walk in and out for 5 minutes, and then DH would just pat her for another 5 mins and she'd be asleep. Now she seems to be ok on her own.
good luck ox

Maybe you could start a gradual change with her. Start by bringing her feedtime forward by 15mins and bath, play TV etc and soon she will be going to bed earlier. She may not even notice the gradual change, or like Fenella said, she may start doing it on her own.

Good luck

Thanks for the suggestions everyone!

Shannon - thats what we currently do. She goes to sleep in my arms as I watch TV, then I put her in bed.

As for changing her feed time, there is no set feed time & quite often she will have a few feeds during this time.

Fenella - I think she will gradually change this herself, I might just wait & see.

**edited to say - Shannon I just reread my first post & realised I didnt explain myself very well. I meant by the time we go to bed she is asleep so goes in her cot before we go to bed.

Also, after just going to my mothers group, I was talking to another girl who puts her baby down & the bub screams for ages before sleeping & I decided that I am very happy with our routine & if it doesnt change - who cares!

Linda sweets,

It sounds like you have it all under control, and like you say, if you are all happy, no need to change.

My only suggestion would be that as Emma gets older she may stop falling to sleep in your arms in front of the TV, becasue of the TV. The light and flickering can sometimes really mess with them! (Not the sound, but the flickering, IYKWIM?)

So maybe a subtle change would be to move to reading a book or something instead of TV, a little earlier?

Dunno....

Thanks Lucy - its funny that you say that about the TV! Because just last night I decided to have quiet time in Emma's room with her at about 8pm. No TV, no noise, just feeding & cuddles etc. She has gone to sleep at 8pm! I was so surprised! Mind you she then woke both last night & tonight for another feed within the hour, but didnt even really wake for it, just fed & kept sleeping & cuddles (back in front of the TV :rolleyes: - but she was oblivious to it by then)

So thanks for that advice! It is good! I also did that for a day sleep today, took her to her room & had quiet cuddles before sleep & she slept for 2 hours!!! (with a sleepy feed in the middle) & she never sleeps for more than 30 mins usually! So obviously she just needs to be able to switch of from all the distractions. :)

Linda - It sounds as though Emma goes to sleep in a similar way to my DD. I was also thinking of trying to move Maggie's sleep forward as few weeks ago, but then I realised that day light savings will end soon, so that will move it forward one hour for me :) Sneaky, but she is hard enough to get to sleep as it is, I just don't want to mess with it.

Lucy - I sometimes wonder if the TV keeps Maggie from going to sleep, but I have tried reading with her and she seems more distracted by the turning of the pages LOL I just can't win.

When Olivia was a wee tiny thing she would feed and feed all evening and snooze on and off, and we would usually be in front of the TV. It didn't seem to bother her at all, but it did mean I was always feeling like I was tied to the chair!

We then moved her bedtime to after her 6.30 bath, & had a big cuddly feed in her roon, lights dimmed, very soft music on. She would fall asleep on the boob and I would cuddle her over my shoulder for a good 15 mins and then transfer her to her hammock.

I swear when we started doing this she seemed to breath a sigh of relief!

And importantly for us, it did give us "couple time" back in the evenings, which felt so liberating, it made me very happy that Olivia was so content and that Andrew and I could begin to share some nice evenings together again.

Thank you thank you thank you Lucy! That before scenario of Olivia is just like Emma & although it has only been 2 nights, I really feel like Emma is happier too.

Do you remember how old Olivia was when you changed things?

I do Linda, distinctly. She was 4 months old and for all sorts of reasons we decided it was time for her to go into her own room (she had been rooming in with us from birth to 4 months).

Up until that point she was tricky, colic perhaps, and whilst I had a lot of milk, it really was thin from mid afternoon onwards, and thus I "cluster fed" her all afternoon & evening and it was draining. (We were in Darwin too, and by mid afternnon, because of the temperature & the climate, everyone is grumpy & thirsty!!)

At 4 months I supplemtented one feed with a bottle of EBM, and this really helped too.

Plus her new room was a lot cooler, so this may have been a contributing factor. But the bedtime routine was, I think, the real winner.

We have always done this little routine with Charlie too, since he was about 7 weeks old, and he loves it too. They are both thriving and happy on it, as are Mummy and Daddy!

My older brother made a comment about it once, when he was staying with us, and that was words to the effect of "If someone gave me a warm drink, put some peaceful music on, read me nice stories and cuddled me and told me how much they loved me, I am pretty sure I'd have some bloody great sleeps too!" LOL.

I love it too. It is my time to connect with my babes, regardless of how the day has been, how stressed or busy I am, I literally breath a sigh of relief & relax with them and just revel in snuggling with them in the dim light. It is the best excuse for a cuddle and to smell their beautiful heads. It is time well spent for me.

Olivia is now 2, and after her bath, she literally gets herself onto the couch in her room, picks her own books, asks for "special CD pliz Mummy" and cuddles up. It is gorgeous, so I feel she really loves that calm cuddly peaceful time before bed.