Worried how ds will cope while I'm in hospital.

I'm really really worried how ds will cope while I'm in hospital. He will only be 18 months when the baby is born. He is a real mummy's boy especially at night. I have to put him to sleep, he goes to sleep in his bed and wakes up about 1am and co-sleeps with us for the rest of the night. I have to settle him back to sleep during the night, he settles straight away for me but he just screams for dh until he gets me. He has been very very clingy lately and if he can't get to me when he wants me he goes hysterical. He also will only eat for me, dh can't get him to eat anything and he tries often. He loves playing with dh, going for drives and walks. But for sleeping, eating, if he is upset, sick or hurts himself he just wants me. I don't know what to do. I hate seeing my baby upset :cry:.

ummm,

well on the plus your dh will really apreciate everything you do when you get home

when im expecting a bub i tend to be a lil harder on the older ones to make sure they have there sleep ,eating etc down good because when the new one arrives it will make it way harder and more stressful if you have to deal with that as well,dont know what parenting style you do but i tend to be more of the tough love kinda girl because in the long run it makes life easier for everyone,apart from that no real advice....
wishing you the best of luck though :hug:

Does your hospital have early discharge? I had the same concerns about my son and ended up coming home about 8 hours after giving birth and had midwives visit me for 3 days post partum. It was fantastic and so nice to be home in my own bed too.
all the best!

Do you have parents/family nearby? If so get him used to sleeping there during the day then do an over nighter and build from there.

My GS was 19 months when his brother was born and he slept fine at our house. It also made the change over better as he was used to us around. He stayed with us until the baby came home and I visited often over the next few days, even though his dad was there, just to spent time with him.

Not sure if you have the option that bronners suggested. It will also depend on how you feel afterwards.

I really don't have any helpful suggestions, but was wondering have you left him with DH before?

I was wondering how our DS would be when he was younger, as I had to leave him overnight with DH a couple of times...it's amazing how different they actually are when you are not around. They do play on it if you are there at the time, but often not a fuss when you are not.

Also just wondering if you could work on DH doing some of these things each night til bubs is born, atm you DS is still very young so you should be able to change the habits. Just a thought.

Thanks for the replies.
Heavenly - We have been doing gentle parenting with ds. Ds works himself up very quickly, so much that he vomits.
Bronners - I have an appointment with the hospital on the 16 June. We will ask them at the appointment. With DS I was in there two nights then signed myself out against doctors advice, I couldn't stand the place any longer. I don't if they wanted me to stay longer because it was my first baby.
Rivlas - We got no family nearby who can mind him, its just me and dh. I don't even know who I will get to mind him while I'm having the baby :dunno:.
Erin_25 - Dh hasn't really had him at home by himself, they go out together heaps but I don't go out much without them. We will start trying to get dh to put him to sleep at night and see if that works.

Rewind my life just over 4 years ago and this could have been my post exactly.

I have no family here either - I was soooo worried about how he would be when I went into labour etc. I was ok with him being with his dad, but his dad would be with me at the hospital for a while!!!

I had made a good friend that year who had a daughter the same age and she knew how hard it was for me and offered to take him day or night - even if night to come to our house so he could wake up in his own bed etc.

Well, as it happened he was dropped off to her at a respectable 9am on a Saturday(!) and his sister was born a few hours later - I rang my friend and she bought him in after an hour for a visit and daddy took him home afterwards.

I am sure if you look at those around you who you spend time with apart from your hubby you will find someone whom you trust enough to look after him for a few hours. If he goes to sleep late or whilst someone is cuddling him to sleep, it doesnt matter. All that matters is that he feels safe - so start to foster that relationship today :)

Re getting hubby to put him to sleep - my advice on this to take or leave :) - the first few times leave the house if you can before the bedtime routine starts - only cos if he knows you are there he will prob continue to ask for you and get worked up - but if you are not there it may not worry him as much - also, your hubby will have his own way of doing things not exactly the same as the way you do it - kids love both ways - their mummy's and their daddy's way - so give him the space to find his groove with it too.

Good luck hun :)

I wouldn't worry too much about it now - the behaviour that he has now is most likely the behaviour he won't have when he is 18 months old.

Mine are just under 19 months apart and I was worried too because he was soooo clingy - especially around 14 months - omg - it was like he was permanently attached to my hip.

He was absolutely fine by the time Miss M came along - he actually was going through a "I love daddy most of all" stage, so didn't want me anyway.

So you might get the same thing :D

This will be hardest when I am home. DD is very clingy lately as her molars are cutting through and i have to get someone at daycare to take her from me which is really unusual.

DD often throws a trantrum when i leave her but 5mins later she's fine. My parents take her a bit and she has sleep overs there. Most of the time she doesn't mind me leaving but of late she does. Again I stress 5 mins later she's over it. She will ask where i am and accepts that i am at work etc with no whinging.

We have the same issues with bedtime and feeding when i am at home but not if i am gone. So i don't have any advice really, it will probably be worse when you are at home as your ds will demand you are available to him. he'll cope when better when your not around.

SamiH -I have a neighbour I will talk to and see if she would mind doing it. She has been sick so I'm just waiting for her to get better then I will go over. Thanks.

Arimeh & Maybebabie - I hope so. He does have 3 molars cutting through and he has had a ear infection. That would be making him worst. Thanks.