Giving birth via c section?

Those of you mummies who have had c sections (elective or other) do you class it as 'giving birth'?

I'm sort of struggling with it because one of my friends piped up and told me I didn't give birth because she didn't come from my vjayjay! *bullcrap!* I was so angry with this...

I got her here safely. (with the doctors help)... I feel like I have given birth. I went through pregnancy, she just came out the sunroof instead.

Finally not feeling guilty like I used to about birthing miss A too early. And then a 'friend' goes and says this! Way to go lol

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Absolutely do. I also get mad when people mention its not actually giving birth. It is, it's just not the 'natural' way, it was via the sun roof :)


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I had both my girls via *the sunroof* (love this description lol)

I went through 9 months of pregnancy, I have 2 healthy lil girls and feel I didn't miss a thing having them via c section.

Must be honest, I really don't understand people who say that due to having bubs via c sections, that it's not really giving birth. Pooh to yr friend!

What does she refer to it as??

But yes I consider it giving birth.. They were still born, just not via the traditional method, and I honestly cannot think of another term to use..

I have had 2 c-sections..

She just says its the easy way out! I could have smacked her right then and there!

I've had a VB. (With my stillborn son) and I've had an emergency c section due to severe pre eclampsia and iugr caused by absent end diastolic flow. I had no choice. I was 29 weeks into pegnancy.

At first I was disappointed at the method in which I birthed miss A in, but now I realised, had they induced me for a VB I probably would have died, as would have miss A.

She just made me angry.

Its a different type of birth. Not one I would have chosen had I had the choice, but when its deemed medically necessary then for god sake!

*breathe*

I need to calm down. I'm so mad and upset that she's said this.

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The easy way out? That just shows she obviously has NFI. I wouldn't pay attention to her at all.

A c/s is way more difficult on your body IMO. I would choose a VB any day.

No way! People like this have no idea! Does she know your siuation?
I have had two VBs however I see what my friends who had caesers went through and I think I got off lightly!
You be proud that you got your baby and yourself the help that you needed and are both safe.
I'd be spending less time with this "friend"

There's nothing easy about them at all, it's major surgery for crying out loud.

I had c-sections with both my girls, the first was an emergency c-section due to pre-eclampsia, and DD1 being in distress after 20 hours and I found it incredibly traumatic, suffered PND and PTSD due to it. The second I found to be slightly less traumatic but the guilt was horrible.

I've never had someone tell me I took the easy way out, I'd have no issue with explaining them the reasons why it's not easy.

:hug: don't let what anyone says interfere with how you come to terms with the way you gave birth, yes, I call it giving birth, the result was a beautiful baby girl. :hug:

i have had a CS and VB and consider them both giving birth. No doubt in my mind.

My VB was absolutely the easy way out in comparison to my CS!

:hug: I hope you feel better after reading these responses. I think this thread offers a more informed, real representation of the facts in comparison to your 'friend's' opinion. Truth is, you are one of the people who have experienced both types of birth and are therefore more qualified to hold an opinion on the subject. ;) Still, it does hurt when people are quick to judge with misinformation. All she needed to do was ask you about it rather than tell you her silly opinion.

I think it's one of those very subjective descriptions. I personally don't feel that I "gave birth" to my son (cs), rather that he was "delivered", but I know of at least one person who feels the same about her vb, so it's clearly entirely subjective. I can say though that I think it's incredibly unfair and unreasonable to attempt to define someone *else's* experience by one's own parameters. So what your friend said was very uncool in my book.

You gave birth...

I to have struggled with this, but i have come to terms with the fact I did birth both my kids and theres nobody whos ever going to tell me I didnt!

Hope it gets better for you its horrible when its so raw xox

I'm stuck on the fact that you prefaced it with "a friend said"... Really? That's not how friends treat each other. Especially when one of them has been through what you and Miss A have been through.

I agree with OP. Some friend huni. Iv been told Iv got to have a c-sect and hysterectomy when I do have a baby so to me its so if it gets my baby and here safely its still giving birth. Im sorry you'v had to experience that from a so called friend huni...you and miss A are alive and well. Stuff her huni. Huge :hug: :hug: xxxxxx

Miss A is here with you so of course you gave birth! What a very stupid, insensitive, ignorant thing to say! After everything you went through to hear such Bull is not what you need. :hug:

You birthed your daughter the way you did to bring her into the world healthy.

Boooo to that 'friend' of yours!

Yes, funnily enough OP, it was the same group of friend you are speaking of!

She's not a friend anymore!

And just found this...

birth (bûrth) n. 1. The emergence and separation of offspring from the body of the mother. 2. The act or process of bearing young; parturition. 3. The circumstances or conditions relating to this event, as its time or location. 4. The set of characteristics or circumstances received from one's ancestors; inheritance. 5. Origin; extraction

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I'm stuck on the fact that you prefaced it with "a friend said"... Really? That's not how friends treat each other. Especially when one of them has been through what you and Miss A have been through.

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THIS!!!!

Personally I would've been tempted to slap her upside the head if I'd overheard it. Of course you gave birth! You gave birth to a wonderful little fighter who is going to go on and have an amazing and healthy life.

:hug:

What does your friend call it? I mean, we all have "birth"days so if we're born by c-section do we have a sectionday? Do you say "my baby arrived today" like the stork brought it??

I agree with OP and others that your friend needs to take a good look at herself - NOT the sort of thing a supportive, decent friend would say and not the sort of person you need to be around. Certainly not anyone whose views you should let bother you. I don't understand how anyone could consider major abdominal surgery and long recovery time as the easy way to achieve anything.

I had a c/s earlier this year and it wasn't how I was planning for my LO to be born but all that matters is he is here and healthy. After all isnt that why we go through pregnancy? For the baby and children it brings us - not for the"birth" experience?

Atleast that is why I went through a pregnancy.

I did struggle at first with the idea that 'I' gave birth... now I have come to the conclusion that 'I' birthed DS with some help and that is ok and no different to those who VB with help (hope that makes sense) I like to think that he came via the emergency exit :D and can't wait for him to ask so I can show him the scar.

BTW after seeing my sister give birth vaginally and then walk back to her room with bub while I was barely able to walk to the bathroom only a few steps away there is nothing easy about a c/section.

I always say when I gave birth or when DD was born. To me it makes no difference to how DD was born as I had no issues with having an emerg. c-sect. I know some people don't class it as giving birth & suffered trauma from not having a vaginal birth. I don't have an issue with them saying that, that is how they feel and I respect that.

seriously love ignore her. It takes even more courage to lay down for a c/s, to save your bubbas life, than it does to birth vaginally. Especially if you know how hard it can be to recover. No easy way out there, but a whole hell of a lot of sacrafice from a mamma who loves her bubba. A think you gave birth..... You gave her life and birth thru the safest method for her, with the assistance of a dr. Hugs. That is a very insensitve thing to say to you.

XX Bella

Your friends an idiot!

TBH, DD is 16mo and I still find it hard to say I gave birth. I have alot of issues over Hannah's delivery.
But, she would have died if she'd stayed in any longer. I had no choice.

I think one day I will look back and say I gave birth, but not today.

I believe it IS birth and you shouldn't be made to feel any other way. You DID birth Miss A.

Sorry to be a downer on the thread, but I had to be honest.

Much love!:hug:

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TBH, DD is 16mo and I still find it hard to say I gave birth. I have alot of issues over Hannah's delivery.
But, she would have died if she'd stayed in any longer. I had no choice.

I think one day I will look back and say I gave birth, but not today.

I believe it IS birth and you shouldn't be made to feel any other way. You DID birth Miss A.

Sorry to be a downer on the thread, but I had to be honest.

Much love!:hug:

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Not a downer just honest!

Hugs to you

I've had one of each and honestly I couldn't tell you what I'd choose for a third - they were both great but both very hard and had distinct (but different) advantages and disadvantages.

The way I see it, the day a baby is born is highly important and significant, but it's just the start of a long journey of important and significant moments. It's when the real fun begins (as well as lots of tears along the way!).

At the end of the day, you're her mum and your body helped conceive her, grew her, nurtured her and released her to the outside world. And it's your arms that she'll run to when she needs comfort, your hands that hold hers and your face that will light up her smile. "Gave birth"? Meh, it's all just semantics anyway.

Is your friend my friend? Because my friend said exactly the same thing to me. And I struggled for a long time to get over the hurt. But I DID give birth to him, and it was a great experience. It shocked me to the core that someone would consider it not to a 'birth'. And the easy way out. I recovered way better from my vb than I did from my c-section

xx

Thankyou girls who have supported me.

I know I have given birth, I just felt like she shouldn't have said what she said and how she voiced her opinion. This thread was not only a vent, but to reach out to other mums who feel the same way...

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you gave birth!
ive not (yet) had a csection, but i consider my vb a walk in the park compared to what you went through!

...just a thought...

I think maybe I would have felt more like I gave birth if I'd actually been in labour at the time. But, I was on nifedapine and just turned up at 6am for my planned c/s.
I don't have any issues with the fact that I had a c/s. I can nearly say I enjoyed it. Planned, simple and calm, recovery was fast for me. I know it was the safest way for DD. She was breech and severely IUGR, my placenta was failing fast.
I just have issues over the way that my body failed my daughter and the fact that it came to having a c/s. The fact that, because of my body, I didn't even have the chance to attempt a VB.

I was going to post a similar definition as you've already found, so I won't.
I've had 3 now and I can say honestly that until Holly's I had struggled. Not for what other people thought of them, but for my own expectations being failed.

My experience however is irrelevant to you. Some people have no idea on how what they think is simple can be so difficult for someone else.

Did I read that she is a prem mum too? Perhaps she is upset with her body for not growing her bub to term and whatever other issues there were going on with the pregnancy. So to make herself feel better about everything that went wrong, she is focusing on the thing that went 'right' - giving birth vaginally. Maybe it is a case of blowing out your candle to make hers shine brighter?

Or she is just a stupid B. Of course a C-section is a birth, otherwise you would have a child that was never born.

I know it goes against the grain but if I really thought about it, the method of giving birth really doesn't matter to me. I don't have a deep-seated need to deliver babies vaginally but I think when I joined BB I kind of got caught up in the idea that a vaginal, drug-free birth is the pinnacle of excellence.

My first VB left me with physical pain that I still have nearly five years later (I had severe SPD which was greatly exacerbated by the pushing position I was in for nearly three hours). It meant that I couldn't be the mum I wanted to be to DD - I couldn't get down on the floor to play with her, could barely leave the house for the first six months because walking was so painful etc. etc. etc.

After that, I couldn't care less really about VB versus caesarean - I just wanted a birth that would leave me with the least amount of physical damage. Once again, when I was pregnant with DD2, I got a little caught up in the idea that a caesarean was a 'cop-out'. Indeed, some people who'd also had SPD, had the arrogance to presume that their SPD must be the same as my SPD and because they had a VB and recovered well, it meant that I should too and anything less meant that I was a bit of a loser.

Luckily, I ignored them and their near-fanaticism and had an elective caesarean with DD2.

I felt better (physically and emotionally) after my caesarean than after my VB. After my caesarean, I felt that I could be the mum I wanted to be.

And, to me, that's all that matters.

Celebrate the way you mother your baby, not how you birthed her. Birth is one tiny part of being a mum. Lovely if it's everything you imagined but really, in the whole scheme of things, not that important (to me).

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I know it goes against the grain but if I really thought about it, the method of giving birth really doesn't matter to me. I don't have a deep-seated need to deliver babies vaginally but I think when I joined BB I kind of got caught up in the idea that a vaginal, drug-free birth is the pinnacle of excellence.

My first VB left me with physical pain that I still have nearly five years later (I had severe SPD which was greatly exacerbated by the pushing position I was in for nearly three hours). It meant that I couldn't be the mum I wanted to be to DD - I couldn't get down on the floor to play with her, could barely leave the house for the first six months because walking was so painful etc. etc. etc.

After that, I couldn't care less really about VB versus caesarean - I just wanted a birth that would leave me with the least amount of physical damage. Once again, when I was pregnant with DD2, I got a little caught up in the idea that a caesarean was a 'cop-out'. Indeed, some of the members on here who'd also had SPD, had the arrogance to presume that their SPD must be the same as my SPD and because they had a VB and recovered well, it meant that I should too and anything less meant that I was a bit of a loser.

Luckily, I ignored them and their near-fanaticism and had an elective caesarean with DD2.

I felt better (physically and emotionally) after my caesarean than after my VB. After my caesarean, I felt that I could be the mum I wanted to be.

And, to me, that's all that matters.

Celebrate the way you mother your baby, not how you birthed her. Birth is one tiny part of being a mum. Lovely if it's everything you imagined but really, in the whole scheme of things, not that important (to me).

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I'd give you 100 rep points if I could. The method of birth doesn't matter in the slightest. It isn't important to me either. I don't know why we need to have superior or inferior births, rather than just a celebration that new life came into the world. The rest is just ... whatever.

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I'd give you 100 rep points if I could. The method of birth doesn't matter in the slightest. It isn't important to me either. I don't know why we need to have superior or inferior births, rather than just a celebration that new life came into the world. The rest is just ... whatever.

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Here! Here!

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I'd give you 100 rep points if I could. The method of birth doesn't matter in the slightest. It isn't important to me either. I don't know why we need to have superior or inferior births, rather than just a celebration that new life came into the world. The rest is just ... whatever.

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Yeah that... It's a birth. Shes here safe.

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I know it goes against the grain but if I really thought about it, the method of giving birth really doesn't matter to me. I don't have a deep-seated need to deliver babies vaginally but I think when I joined BB I kind of got caught up in the idea that a vaginal, drug-free birth is the pinnacle of excellence.

My first VB left me with physical pain that I still have nearly five years later (I had severe SPD which was greatly exacerbated by the pushing position I was in for nearly three hours). It meant that I couldn't be the mum I wanted to be to DD - I couldn't get down on the floor to play with her, could barely leave the house for the first six months because walking was so painful etc. etc. etc.

After that, I couldn't care less really about VB versus caesarean - I just wanted a birth that would leave me with the least amount of physical damage. Once again, when I was pregnant with DD2, I got a little caught up in the idea that a caesarean was a 'cop-out'. Indeed, some of the members on here who'd also had SPD, had the arrogance to presume that their SPD must be the same as my SPD and because they had a VB and recovered well, it meant that I should too and anything less meant that I was a bit of a loser.

Luckily, I ignored them and their near-fanaticism and had an elective caesarean with DD2.

I felt better (physically and emotionally) after my caesarean than after my VB. After my caesarean, I felt that I could be the mum I wanted to be.

And, to me, that's all that matters.

Celebrate the way you mother your baby, not how you birthed her. Birth is one tiny part of being a mum. Lovely if it's everything you imagined but really, in the whole scheme of things, not that important (to me).

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AMEN!

Do you class your c-section as giving birth? (seeing as that was your original question)

Clearly you do. So then, you gave birth to Amelia.

Pretty simple.

However, if someone came to me and said "i had a horrible c-sect experience, and i really don't feel like a gave birth and i find it hard to say I gave birth" then i could easily sympathise with that mother and let her know she's not alone feeling like that sometimes and that there are proper professionals out there that can help her feel differently or come to peace with her birth experience.

How you feel is what matters. And if you feel great, then someone elses comment doesn't affect you. If you feel terrible and you are hurting then it's legitimate too.

I used to feel terrible about it. There was a lot of guilt birthing Amelia so early. But she's home and doing well and only now after talking with a councillor do I feel great about her birth iykwim?

So I'm celebrating that. It's a good thread. A good feeling. I'm finally accepting the way things happened. And if people can't be happy for me (clearly there are some people out there who can't, and that's ok) I don't care.

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Celebrate the way you mother your baby, not how you birthed her. Birth is one tiny part of being a mum. Lovely if it's everything you imagined but really, in the whole scheme of things, not that important (to me).

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I love what you have written but I do feel that sometimes this can really disable someone's ability to process there loss. Only when someone has moved passed that point in their grief can they move forward in their healing.

Do I make any sense?