Has anyone had a family member die while pregnant? Did it affect name choice?

I have just had my partner's Father die this week (Carlo was 84). I am wondering if anyone has had a death in the family while they have been pregnant and thinking of naming the baby after them in some way?

If it's a girl, I am thinking of Carla. But for a boy, I"m not sure I am in love with the name Carlo (though as a middle name I like it). What do you think of Carlo for a boy's name?

I had my ultrasound on may 9th, but they couldn't tell me the sex of the baby. It had it's legs crossed. I will go for a 3d/4d scan on march 13 though. Seems forever away though.

I know 3 women who had a parent pass away whilst they were pregnant.
The two that have since had their babies both used the parents name as a middle name.
The other bub is still baking.

ETA I like Carlo but with a K

Me! My DH's grandmother passed the day I discovered I was pregnant with DD6. Consequently she was named Lucy Philomena after her great grandmother. :D:D

I like Carlo - I had a boyfriend Carlo who made the best paella - Oh MY that takes me back.... But I do like the name!

I love the name Lucy!

It's nice to hear a positive opinion on the name Carlo. I wonder if it's too old fashioned or italian sounding. Though this baby is half italian and will have an italian surname lol. (Carlo, 84 was born in Rome, though my partner is Aussie born italian).

Is your daughters name pronounced the Italian was of the Aussie way?
I think Carlo/a would fit nicely with your other kids ames if you like it.

Laura is pronounced the aussie way. Though I know in Italy it is more like "Louwra" (trying to type how they sound it out).

Not keen on K for Karlo...if i were to name him that, I'd give him the same spelling.

So....Yasmin, Ronan, Laura and Carlo or Carla. Though I still have to speak to my partner about it....and he may or may not be keen on that idea. I think he'd probably push for the name though... If I'm really not happy, I'll have the middle name at least. I need time to think about it. And by march 13 I SHOULD know the sex of the baby..as long as I can tell the sex at those 3d scans (i'll be 29 weeks then).

I had 2 people pass away when I was pregnant with Madeleine. One was my cousin, and one was my Ex's very close friend.
My cousin Ben knew we had been trying for a baby... and I actually found out just after he passed that I was pregnant... We decided that if the baby was a boy we would name him Ryan Benjamin.
Obviously we didn't get to use the name Benjamin, but all my children have or will have middle names in honour of their extended family members, some are alive, some are not.

DH's aunt died when his brother's wife was expecting; they used her name as a middle name. It is a beautiful name though!

I'd not use a dead person's name as a first name because to me it's as if you're trying to fill that place. As a middle name it's a nice thing to do if you like the name and the sentiment. And your child won't hate you for it when they grow up. But Carlo/Carla is a nice middle name, IMO.

I like what you wrote Rosehip-Fairy. I do wonder if it's a bit too much to use the exact same first name, as if you are trying to replace them. And every time you mention "Carlo"...who are they talking about?

I will talk to my partner about this.

Very grateful for your opinions ladies. :)

I think if it isnt a name you really like in itself, then use it as a middle name. That way you are honouring hte person you wish to honour, but you can have name that is your baby's alone, and you love :)

My thoughts are with you, your partner and family at this difficult time :hug:
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

My Grandma passed away the week before my ultrasound with Em. My scan was right after the funeral. It definitely did affect our choice in her name because she was going to be Emma Louise. She is Emma Josephine after my Grandma. I called my Grandpa right after the scan to let him know and he was so touched.

I would recommend going for the middle name. It is a lovely reminder without getting confusing, unless they decide to use their middle name as their preferred name later in life.

We conceived DS a month after DH's father died in rather extraordinary circumstances and he was born 4wks early 2 days before our first Christmas without him so he has always been our miracle baby and yes naming him after his Grandfather was always a given. Funnily we always sort of "knew" we were having a boy. Having said that my hubby's name is robert and his dad's name was robert so we wanted something a little different. Alexander is the other male name used in the family so we decided on a take on Alexander - Xander and his middle name is Robert Alan after his Grandad.

My Nana (Joy) passed away when I was 34wks pg with DS and I always planned on calling my daughter after her but my cousin beat me to it so she became Ariya Joy and temperance was another first name we were playing with just before she was born and well we figured DS had two middle names so why not :-)

I think both Carla and Carlos are lovely names! And it's great for kids to have a story behind their name

I am very much leaning towards Carlo for the middle name. I do like Carla for a girls name though. But that could change.

Will be nice to know the sex. The only sad thing was that we couldn't tell him the sex of the baby before he died. Even in his final days, when he made little sense and talked little, he still managed to ask what we were having...boy/girl. I hope he is looking down from heaven and can see for himself when the baby is born. :)

The chinese baby predictor thing has guessed all 3 of my kids correct so far, and would seem that this one COULD be a boy. I think the timing of sex would seem to favour a boy too (about a day before ovulation).

Limeslice...thanks for your kind words. My partner is just so so sad, he can't stop crying. All I can do is be with him right now.

My brother in law passed away 2 weeks ago today. Although we didn't dicuss it until a week after, I think it was a pretty instant thought for both DH and I that if this baby is a boy, it will have a variation of his uncle's name as a middle name. BIL's name is Danny, so we're leaning towards just Dan.

I'm sorry for your partners loss - thats awful :hug:

My DH has the middle name of Allan - which is his grandfather's name who passed away whilst MIL was pregnant.

I agree with the others - honouring someone with a middle name is a good idea. First names can be confusing and might make people sad because they are constantly reminded of the fact that the person isn't with them anymore IYKWIM?

I'm not a fan of Carla (only cos I knew a total biatch with the name) but my physio's name is Carlie and she's really nice ;)

firstly I am so sorry for your loss,

my husbands grandfather passed away 2 weeks before our first childs birth, we made the decission then and there that we would name our baby after him, to us it just felt right

if you were to perhaps use it as a middle name as others have said or adapt a name that may be similar and still hold the significance to you all,

it is a hard choice to make

take care

My grandad passed away 3 days before Jazz was born, and her middle name (Ray) is after my grandad (Raymond).

I could never use it as a first name, not only for other people remembering and being sad, but also... its big shoes to fill for your child, 'living up' to their name. Thats why we used it as a middle name, and also changed it a little.

My brother died when DS was in utero so he has Patrick as his middle name. At the time I swore that even if he was a girl the middle name would be Patrick...!

Carlie, Karlie, Kaali, I love all those and were on my girls list.
Is Carlo his full name?

Yes Carlo is his full name. Carlo Alberto Maria(I think? catholic thing?) Barbieri

My partner's name is Albert (but everyone calls him Alby).

I'm so sorry - it's a difficult time to lose a parent, not that there is any easy time. How lovely that you are considering honouring his memory this way.

I think Carlo or Carla or Carl are lovely names, as first or middle.

Cathy - as i mentioned in the bellybuddies thread - our baby, had it been a boy, would have been named after DH's dad. although he passed a loong time ago, DH has only recently come to terms with losing his dad and it was me that suggested we use his dad's name for our son. no matter when we have a boy, it's name will be after DH's dad. middle name is after a very good friend of DH's - well, his son - who lost his life in an accident last year. these friends are one set of the Gremlins godparents, and we wanted to honor them and their son....

do what feels right for you - if you don't want Carlo as a first name for a boy, it would be a perfect middle name - and it's more the reason behind it being important to you that matters

hugs hun

BG

Very sorry to hear of your loss.
My father whom I adored passed away when I was 5 months PG with my 1st daughter. I found out she was a girl while he was in hospital so he knew before he passed that he was going to have his first grandaughter. This time we`re hoping for a boy and I will honor my father by giving my son his name. Not because Im trying to replace him but I want to acknowledge one of the greatest men I have ever know, My dad.
If we have a girl however I dont think John would fit somehow:)

My Dad passed away when I was 20 weeks pregnant with my DS, in fact it was the day before we found out we were having a boy. The last time I saw Dad alive he kissed me and said "How's my Grandson?".
Needless to say my DS middle name is John which is my Dad's name.

Krisp, How beautiful. Ive got tears in my eyes. Your little boy was meant to be.

DH`s father passed away on a scuba driving accident (a boat his him) 4 days before my 1st DS was born so we changed his middle name to include FIl`s name, he also has my Dad`s name as a middle name so it`s nice that he carries both grandfather`s names.

Hugs to you, it`s a very hard time.

My son has for his first middle name the name of both my grandfathers and my dad's middle name. And the name of a few uncles and great-uncles. It's because it's a family name, although most of the men with this name believe he is named for them. It has made my dad happy I named DS for his late father and Grandad happy that I've named DS for him.

I just wonder if anyone has named their child for a family member who is not yet dead? Not because you expect them to be soonish but just to honour a living family member. (In our case it was to honour various generations and -more importantly to me- to tie DS in to my family as we don't have my maiden name.)

I had actually thought to name the baby's middle name Carlo even before his Dad got ill.

I had a good chat tonight with Alby and he actually brought up the subject of using Carlo for a boy's name if the baby is a boy. I told him my thoughts about perhaps being reminded too much or taking away something his Dad...and he agreed. We will use it as a middle name if the baby is a boy.

I mentioned Carla also..but he does not like the name for a girl. Something about it reminding him of the lady in the tv show Cheers lol.

So....the names hunt will continue. Something that flows with Carlo for a middle name. For a girl though...no idea.

Alby seems a little better today. Though he still has so much to organise. He says the funeral will be this saturday at noon.

My DH's uncle died in a motorbike accident before he was born. He now has his name Donald as a middle name.

I think Carla is nice though.

CathyS- Im so sorry to hear of ur FIL.
My father died when I was about 6 months pregnant. He had been ill for a few years so I always said if I had a boy, its middle name would be named after him. Jake has now got the middle name Craig after my dad. I do like the name Carlo, but only if it would be in an italian (or half in ur case) family.

Very sorry to hear of your losses, ladies.

I quite like Carla as a first or middle name, personally I would have Carlo as a middle name, if for no other reason than it makes things easier at family gatherings (ie you know which person is being spoken about), but obviously the choice is up to you and your partner.

When I was pregnant with DD, her due date was the same date my grandfather died several years before. Mum hinted that she would like us to consider naming our child for him if it was a boy and was born on the due date, but DH and I really don't like the name Lewis so thankfully we had a girl, and was born two days before her due date - no awkwardness!! (And no, I'm not a fan of Louise either so that was out too!)

The baby I'm carrying now was conceived within a week or so of DH's mother being murdered - I went off the Pill on DD's birthday (the Sunday) and MiL was killed on the following Wednesday. I toyed with the idea of naming this baby for her, leaning more toward a middle name rather than a first name (I think it would just be a bit painful for all our family if we were to give this child her name as a first name), but we mainly decided to stick with our own ideas on names because Briona (my MiL) was technically DH's stepmother (although he has never had any contact with his real mother since she left him and his dad as a baby, he doesn't know to this day whether she's alive or dead, and Bri has been DH's mum since he was 5 so she's all he knew), and DH's half-brother is her biological son so we wanted to leave the option open to him if/when he has children to name his daughter for his beautiful mum.

im sorry to hear about the losses
my baby is going to be named after my stepfathers best friend that passed a while ago
and my sis in law sees spirits and she has seen his in my parents house and i was there on my birthday and she said she saw him getting upset trying to look for me but i was outside in a tent but that made me want to call my son jamie because this is when he was concieved i dont normally believe in that sort of thing but in this case i do because the circumstances of his death would stop him from moving on so yeah

Thanks for your kind words. The funeral was jan 17, but my partner is still finding it hard (being only child and all). We have decided, that the baby will carry his middle name (Carlo) if a boy. I won't find out the sex of the baby til march 13 3d/4d scan (the 19 week scan, baby had crossed legs. I was a little sad about that as Carlo asked what the baby was (even as he was dying :-( ). But Alby says he feels his Dad's spirit around him. I think that is such a blessing. My Mum often says she feels her late Mother around her as well.

JwithJ: That's a nice thing you are doing naming the baby after your Stepfather's best friend.

Gothmum: I'm so sorry to hear about DH's Mother being murdered. I agree, I think it would be painful to name the baby after her. And you leave the option for DH's half brother to name any children after her later on (when the pain is not so fresh).

I was going to have my Nan's name (Margaret) as one of the middle names for my first daughter anyway, so when she died it didn't make a difference to that. But we're going to be using the male equivalent of her middle name (Frances/Francis) as a second middle name if Cookie's a boy. That was decided in the backyard as the paramedics were taking her body out of her house, and hasn't changed since (IIRC, I was 8w6d when she died)... The only reason it's not the male variant of her first name is I can't find one for Margaret :crying:

i was in hospital 25w pregnate with ds2 when my gramps lost his long battle, as i was unable to leave for his funeral (intensive care) i thought about giving him gramps's name as a middle, Albert, but decided it was best left for one of his daughters to use as they were closest. my newest cusion now shares his gramps's name for a middle, and it couldnt suit him better!
my df is named after his unkle who was told at birth wouldnt make his 1st birthday (when df was born he was 17) but he is still kicking on! FIL had planed to name his first son after his brother since they were kids.
my name is that of my great grandma on mums side, and as dad pointed out when i met him, my great grandma on his side to! (but mum wasnt aware of that)

One of my middles names (Meriton) is after my great grandfather, the day of his funeral my mother found out she was pregnant, then I was born three weeks perm on his birthday... apparently I have his music ability :-)

DF's father recently passed away. We were going to name a son Peter Jack Mark (Peter for my dad who passed 5 years ago, Jack for my bro and Mark for my uncle who passed years ago) but have since decided on Peter George Mark, to remember both our fathers :)

PZ - Although my father didn't pass away while I was pregnant, my DS was born on the 21 year anniversary of his passing, almost to the hour! We had already decided to name him Peter after my Dad. If you have a boy Peter George Mark is a lovely name.

:

---

PZ - Although my father didn't pass away while I was pregnant, my DS was born on the 21 year anniversary of his passing, almost to the hour! We had already decided to name him Peter after my Dad. If you have a boy Peter George Mark is a lovely name.

---

Wow that's amazing CM, and very touching too :) I love the name Peter, and George as well, in fact all three are nice strong names. Thankyou :)

My grandpa (who I was very close to) died when I was 8 months preg with P. She's was a girl, and we knew she was, so, no didn't affect our name choice.

When I was pg with DS2, a close friend of DH's died. We used his middle name for your DS's middle name. We wanted a J name for the middle name & his suited. When I asked his parents if his middle name had any meaning. they told me, No we just wanted all teh kids to have a middle name starting with J. So it was kinda perfect as thats what we have also done. Even DH & I have middle names with J