Home, Sweet Homebirth - Tallarah's entrance
Way back last year I asked my body to let me know when I was ovulating, as I hadn't ovulated since 2005, when DS was conceived. In December 2008 I got a message loud and clear, and then asked for my body to let me know when we had achieved implantation. DP had been wanting a sibling for DS for some time...in vain, because my body and lactation were doing their own thing. Later in January this year I had one day where my pelvis just gave out and by the end of the day I couldn't walk without holding onto walls - something that hadn't happened since I was pregnant with DS and dealing with excruciating SPD. It was too much of a coincidence and the next day I rode my horse all morning, came home and it was as if nothing had gone on the day before. So, I knew.
Between then and this week a lot has happened - strike team duty during our bushfires in Vic, getting through uni before taking another intermission, going to three cities I'd never been to within 3 months (Brissy, Newcastle and Canberra) and starting up my singing gigs with my guitarist and friend after a 3 year absence from the stage.
Anyhoo, I had spent a lot of my pregnancy pretending I wasn't pregnant and then there was nothing planned, nothing in my diary...it was great! I nested in a way I didn't do with DS and just thought about the ambience for the homebirth I was wanting, gathering materials to make it what I wanted.
I had no scans for this pg and was going off LMP for due date...which came and went with no sign of labour, though in September I had felt myself dilate and also felt Braxton Hicks contractions that I didn't feel with my first pg. I told DP that if the baby didn't come early, it would be late, and not be born near the LMP due date.
All of last week yielded nothing and DP was keen not to get up for work each morning, hoping to call in for his 3 weeks leave! The night before the due date we did our second belly cast (the first was a dismal failure!) and thought "Right, it can happen now". On the Friday we took a last minute opportunity for a family pregnancy session with an ABA photographer (Susan D'Arcy - she's ace!) and thought, "Right, it can happen now". On Saturday I completed the first painting I had attempted in about 2 years and thought, "Right, it can happen now". DP was forlorn to have to front up to work again on Monday, the 12th!
I had an appointment at home with my MW and told her about my intuiting the implantation date, so she did a calculation from that and said my due date would then have been the 11th...so not so 'overdue', after all. I wasn't fretful or anxious...just bored! EVERYTHING was in place, trial run of the birth pool had been done, I had my drinks and supplements all ready to go, batteries charged for torches and cameras etc.
Through Tuesday night I had some more BHx and when I woke to pee at about 3.50am they were stronger and regular. The remained regular at 6-10 minutes for the next 3 and a half hours. At 3 hours I contacted my MW and my GF who would be attending to support us as well as DS. We all remained hopeful. I lit my candles, put on my mantra music, put the rose water in my fucshia glass water bottle and rubbed some birthing oil into my body, before wrapping around my body pillow on the couch to wait. Alas, by daybreak the whole thing had backed off, as I extinguished unneeded candles, one by one. I was SO disappointed, because I had been working through my Sleep Breathing and Deep Breathing (HypnoBirthing tools I learned with first pg) and visualising things. My GF came round anyway (lucky she wasn't working that day), after DP had already called work to start his leave (boy, did I feel bad!) and we decided, after mentioning that I had been tossing up what movie to watch at the cinema, to watch Mao's Last Dancer in the afternoon (it was DS's creche day and I had been meaning to catch a film for months!). I felt flat and rejected by my baby! But I also guessed that my baby wanted to come at night...maybe it was all those Buffy episodes I'd been watching on DVD?
Thursday morning and DP asked if anything was happening...well, donchya think I would say something if it were??? We decided to bite the bullet and go to Baby Bunting to get this car seat for DS because he is now unmistakeably too tall for his current seat (well, I borrowed my mum's and converted 'his' back to a baby seat) and then to the nearby shopping centre to do shopping for the pantry (woefully empty!!). It was so hideous - I thought Knox was bad enough (where I stick to the 'new' atriums when I go with DS, cos I've had to get things recently and I had been averaging maybe 3 trips a year prior!), but Fountain Gate has some truly grotesque acoustics. We all got overloaded and cranky - our humours kept up only by a delicious serve of thickshake and icecream at the food court. We got our shopping done, headed back to the car and I felt myself cramping up again. I had a couple of tightenings on the way home, got home, lurked on BB and FB for a while and DP organised dinner (the good egg, he's been ace taking over from me for about two weeks, since I couldn't stand up to complete a meal despite best intentions!). From 6pm I was timing the tightenings and breathing through them. For about 45 mins they were 10 mins apart and dinner was served. DS and DP were due to leave for a swimming lesson about 20 mins drive away from home and DP asked if he should go. They'd be back by about 8.45pm and I deemed it 'safe'. DP called before hopping in the pool and I said they were about 8-10 mins apart. He said he'd get home and tidy up because I said the floor was crunchy again and in a state. I couldn't wait and started sweeping the house (it's not very big, but collects dog hair and dust because we live on an unmade road) with a vigour, because the broom became my 'dance partner' during tightenings. Finally, clean floor! I lit candles, dispensed some aromatherapy and lathered in birthing oil again, to my music (and the new music I had been given the day before by my massage therapist!) By the time they got home at 8.30 they were 5 mins apart and sharp buggers. I tried to put DS to bed and he was being a bit difficult, whiny and un-sleepy. I read to him and then he asked me to read him My Brother Jimi Jazz, about a homebirthed sibling. Finished, turned out the light, he had 'Babu' (what he calls boob) and was still fidgeting. I was getting a bit cranky because all I wanted to do was stand and gyrate my hips. Half way through a sharp tightening and deep breath I felt a 'pop', and a slight trickle. I leapt out of bed (to DS's dismay!), went to the loo and told DP. It was more show, the washable pad was wet, but not saturated and I told DS to hop into our bed if he'd go to sleep. 5 min intervals were dissipating into 3-5 mins. I had already called the MW and GF to let them know that things had started again, whilst DP was at the pool.DS would still not settle, which was unusual - he knew something was up because I was being so erratic...and all I wanted to do was go into my 'zone'. I told DP to just leave him stay up and call GF. At this point he also asked if he should call the MW's to come...I couldn't say 'yes' quickly enough! I was hanging onto walls and furniture to swing my hips around to get through some thick and fast surges (Hypno speak for 'contractions'). I told DP he had to get the birth pool going, and before I knew it, it was filling. Just as it was nearly ready, GF arrived and took over with DS - she was just so the right person to ask to perform this role! She had taken him to his room and that's when I needed to get in the water...instant relief, Sweet Mother Of All That Is Good And Right In The World!! The water helped deal with the surges incredibly well, because I was losing it - I was getting teary thinking I had lost all my HB skills in the intervening years and wondering why it seemed more difficult this time.
The MW's arrived but I could barely look up to acknowledge them. DS had hopped in a couple of times before this and when he got too boisterous was plucked out, with much protest - sheesh, that was hard to deal with at the same time. But my committment to have him there remained. At one point I allowed myself some comic relief when DS ducked under my arm and attached himself to me - scuba Babu! No-one else knew what he was doing until I said "he's attached"...even then I don't think they believed it (though his Daddy did).
DP stayed kneeling in front of me with his arms around me and head on my shoulder as a counterbalance, every once in a while telling me I was doing well. The MW's did the same and prompted me to keep my bum down in the water. DS was in and out like a freaking yo-yo and it was all I could do not to snap at him. Little blighter was trying to inspect my perineum to see what was happening!
I told everyone that I wanted to bail, and as soon as I said that I realised I may not have that much longer to go. I had no idea what time it was. I then remembered some reading I had done in the last few weeks (may well have been one of Kelly's FB links!) about a MW encouraging birthing women to feel inside the vagina for the progress of the baby and that feeling the baby's head had been motivation to press on peacefully and confidently. I felt inside with my middle finger and thought I felt nothing...but then, I felt something! The tip of my finger found a slimy surface that felt round! Two surges later I felt again and reported quietly to DP that I felt it between my middle knuckle and the base of my finger. The next surge (by this time between 1-2 mins apart) brought it to my middle knuckle. Wanting to wait another couple of surges before checking again I decided against that and checked at the next...bloody nora, this baby was at my first knuckle!
From here on in my breathing sounds became moaning sounds and I felt I was losing the plot again - the surges were unrelenting and I could barely keep up with the momentum. I religiously told myself that breathing was the answer, just keep breathing and I'd get through it, that it couldn't be much longer.
There was a head at the opening of my vagina and it stayed there...I wanted to bear down and breathe it out like I had with DS...but the bugger wasn't moving at the rate I wanted it to - it just hung around at the opening, surge after surge. It must have been about 4 or 5 surges (though DP reckons it was less) and the MW's guided me to hold the head and go slow - the right words and just the right time, I got straight back into my Birth Breathing, creating a 'J' shape with my spine to my tailbone, and a MW pushing my bum back into the water to help me! There were photos being taken, mirrors and torches being held and things explained to DS. I was back in my zone and determined to just breathe the kid out. At one point I heard DP tell me "it's a girl" and wondered how on earth he could know that from the face being out (turns out he said "that's the girl" to encourage me, I realised later!). So, in my head, 'it' had become 'she'.
Once the head was out I felt better, but still dealing with fast and furious surges. Eventually I said I just wanted her out and the MW's got me to turn around, facing up, and guided her out - she was kicking like a dolphin and I was just over the whole sensation.
There she was, on my chest - my living, breathing new baby, not making much noise and me breathing on her face, under instructions.
DS was mesmerised and we were all relieved! The MW's informed me that it had taken 2 hours and 15 mins from established labour to birth...huh? No wonder it was ouchy! It was 11.20pm and it was still the day after the 'false alarm'.
More surges came for the placenta - I was not overly joyed about this and complained that I hadn't had to go through that last time (PPH meant I had a managed third stage that was a bit of a blur). Again, I was guided in how to bring it out. Again, sweet relief!!
DS hopped into the water and was swimming around in it again, meeting his little sister and showing off his fishness.
I was helped from the pool to my couch, where we just took each other in for ages. By the time I was helped to bed it was 1am and I was doped up on some pain killers for the after-pains. It was me, my new baby girl with no confirmed name, and my fella, with DS asleep in the next room crashed out from the experience. The MW's said everything I did had been perfect. There was no tearing, not even grazing this time - just some bruising, which is now almost gone from using a herbal recipe I dipped overnight pads into and froze (much nicer than frozen water in condoms!).
Well, the story wasn't supposed to be very long because the labour wasn't very long...but the birth was part of a journey that needed telling, too.
I achieved my goal - to birth at home, in water, avoiding the need to get into a car during established labour, with my beautiful son witnessing the entrance of his much-wanted sibling and my DP, who wanted the sibling more than any of us! I'm feeling pretty peachy and 'zen' about it. And 'zen' was the ultimate aim - even though it was fast and hard, I remained true to my aims and a peaceful entrance was experienced by Tallarah Grace (she got her name confirmed today, after not nearly as much discussion as for DS's name!).
Thanks for reading this far! :)
