My darling baby girl is self-weaning and I'm completely devastated!!!

Ahhh.... where do I start, I guess with this, over the last few days it's just hit me (like a freight train) that my tiny, little, darling baby girl has pretty much self-weaned. I am shocked and devastated :crying: . I was aiming for the WHO 2 years recommendation but it doesn't even look like we're going to make 12 months.

We had a bit of a rough start with some sucking issues, nipple twanging issues and a cracked nipple (and I have inverted nipples too). Then along the way we dealt with mastitis and expressing when I returned to work when she was 4 months old. Ahhh, back in those days she'd have 5 X 120ml bottles of EMB while I was away from her (and I would be dying for a break to express).

We've done a combo of BLS and mush which she really took to at 7 months. I guess from around 8-9 months I knew she had dramatically cut down the amount of breast milk she was getting from me, because I didn't need to express when I was at work anymore. For the last couple of weeks she's been having 2 X 120ml bottles of 50% EBM, 50% cows milk on the two days a week that I work. The top up with cows milk is because I've been really sick of expressing and am finding I don't get much for my efforts.

When she's with me she doesn't get any bottles of any kind of milk, just a sippy cup of water. I offer the breast regularly but she just rejects it outright or has a couple of sucks, then squirms and squawks, or worse, gives me a good bite. :crying:

She doesn't even have that much dairy in her diet. What am I supposed to do??? I don't want to give her bottles of ABM or cows milk, I want her to have my milk. I don't want to express and give her EMB because that is just way too much of a PITA. And it's such a vicious cycle, the less she demands, the weaker my supply, the harder it is for her to get any and the less she can be bothered. :(

I have absolutely no advice, but I just wanted to give you a huge :hug: and some :comfort: and tell you that I think you are amazing.

xxxxxx

Aww Hun - I have no advice as you know I was never able to BF - sp I do know the devestation you are feeling.

Its really no consolation but Bella has weaned her self down to 2 bottle (again I know no real help as its ABM) but I think its due to the fact that she has really really taken to solids - in fact if I didnt offer her bottles she would not look for them.

Maybe its a sign that your little princess is such a well adjusted bub and really loves her solid foods??

Again sorry that I didnt help at all.. huge hugs and thinking of you!!

Kate xox

Mel and Kate :crying: thank you darlings for your hugs :comfort: I might just have to go and cry into a glass of red or something :(

Aww hun.. Im so sorry! Your such a wonderful woman & Mother.. and I feel utterlu useless and cant do anything to help.. Im sorry!

A nice glass of red and some choccie??

No advice - just wanted to give you a big :hug:.

Oh babe.... Unfortunately I don't have much advice either but I really wanted to give you some :hug: :hug: :hug: and :comfort:
Have you tried having a bath with her in the evening? DD can never resist the floating bar :redface:
I hope you can continue.... you must be so sad your gorgeous little girl growing up so fast :crying:

Hun I know how you feel, my DD self weaned at 9 months and I was shocked! She was such a booby girl I thought we would go well past 12 months, but one day she just refused to BF and has refused every day since. I have been expressing for her which she happily takes in a sippy cup, but my god what a pita! I only have a manual pump and now have blisters all over my fingers from expressing. It's so sad when you're not expecting it, isn't it? I had a few teary days before I admitted to myself that our BFing journey was over. It's like she doesn't need me anymore, whereas atleast before I was good for milk if nothing else lol! I guess we have two independant girls on our hands!

Oh Sterla, Pixie and Claire, thank you so much for all your hugs too. Geez, I need them tonight. Pixie, I love your floating bar idea (and image :lol: ) but bloody DS will want to hop in as well and it will turn into a water fight for sure :rolleyes: .

Claire, wow 9 months and you're expressing for her now. Hmmm, what sorts of things does your DD eat, does she have much dairy? Do you worry about her diet? I don't mean that you should worry at all, and I know that I probably shouldn't either, but I just can't help it.

Aww hun no great advice except some big cuddles:hug::grouphug:
You have done such an Amazing job hunny, you should be so proud you have done given the greatest gift for your beautiful girl xx big hugs

Epacris I'm not really that worried about DD's dairy intake. She has 3 x 120mls of EBM, cheese and yoghurt (HEAPS) each day. I add cows milk to her porridge in the morning as well so I think she should be getting enough. Lunch is usually meat and vegies, a cheese sandwich and fruit, dinner is vegies and pasta, a banana and some yoghurt/custard and she snacks on dried fruit (prunes and apricots are a huge hit). She is such a guts when it comes to food it's not funny! Does your DD eat cheese and yoghurt?

Thanks for the hugs BC.

Ahh Claire, I can see why you aren't worried, that's a great diet! And 3 X 120ml cups of EMB a day! You are awesome :D !

AFM DD, She just eats what we eat, fruit, veg, meat, bread, pasta, cheese, with a jar of something or other thrown in here and there. :think: yeah, I probably should offer her some yoghurt more often. Yes, she is a guts too, but a tiny little thing compared to DS. She is tracking right on the 50% line where DS was off the scale. He was a massive chubba bubba who wouldn't have a bar of solids until about the age she is now (but now he's pretty much average).

Aww Hun :comfort:

It can be so hard when they wean, DD went through phases of dropping out feeds, and the closer we got to the end the harder it was for me, BF'ing is such a beautiful bonding time and feeling that that special bond is going to end is very difficult, especially when you think that you will just keep going.I would go for putting in some yogurt and cheese into her diet, we switched a milk feed for a tub of yogurt, so where she has dropped one I would try putting the yogurt in there instead.

DD hated cheese until she was 13-14 months old, now she can't get enough of it!

Pixies suggestion was lovely, I found snuggling in bed, or somewhere quiet really worked better, DD would easily get distract, it may be just a phase, and if you keep trying see what happens.

Take care and we will be here when the time comes, but for you hoping it is many months away :comfort:

Awww, what a shock for you.
It might just be a phase - hang in there and see, you never know.
The bath was always a good one to get DS back again (not that he's every strayed far).

Your little girl is growing up, and that's ok - she still needs her mummy. :hug:

Awww hun :hug: how upsetting this must be for you. I really hope this is just a phase and she begins to enjoy it again soon, I really do. Like the girls said, try plenty of warm baths together snuggled in, skin to skin contact and see if that helps? When she's really relaxed she might just....
I was thinking today actually, this is one of my fears that I try not to think about.... that DD might self wean before I'm ready.

Hi, Epacris,

Hope you enjoyed that glass of red last night - but don't be so hasty. Self weaning? I don't think so. but I bet you have had friends and family tell you this is what she is doing.
At this age you could easily wean her if you want. It seems relatively common that babies are less interested in breastfeeding around the 11-12mnth mark. But self weaning? No. I suggest that you take the approach of always offering - never refusing, but never showing that her refusal upsets you in any way. She's just saying "no thanks not now" as politely as she knows how. Doesn't mean she won't want it in a little while. I wonder if you would consider dropping the bottles she has at childcare and just giving her a sippy cup of water or milk there too? She doesn't need it. Even if she is having 1-2 feeds per day - you'll be surprised at how much she is getting.
A quite weekend of just mum and bub hanging out together. A bath together (those boobies are awfully hard to resist just "there" like that.
I reckon, if you just stick with it - we'll be having the same conversation same time next year.

Go with what Barb said about the bath :) I'll never forget the look on DS's face when he realised there were 2!! lol
DS went through the same at about the same age. Just too busy really. To many other things to do & see. DS would come to me for a feed, have a suck, then bugger off again, lol.
I was going to suggest dropping bottles, coz they are so much easier for her to drink from. She can carry them & explore at the same time, so they might be more appealing. Is she walking yet? DS did start walking at that age, so I think that helped with the needing to explore instead of booby.

Oh Rach it is absolutely horrible when our little ones wean themselves before we are ready. I was devestated when DD weaned to. To be honest I grieved for the loss of our B/F relationship. DH had to give her for over a week because I couldn't bring myself to do it. Grieve your loss because it is a loss.
I have heard that you keep offering them the breast for a feed when they are sleepy because they are less likely to fight you and you keep doing this until she comes around. Not sure if that is completely right (I was told when I wasn't in a good state so can't remember it properly).
Hopefully someone will be able to give you some advice to keep your b/f relationship going.