I know I am going to be ok
Well I thought I had better post in here so everyone knows what is going on.
I posted in my pg update yesterday
:
I decided to go the the emergency Dept after leaking a bit of fluid and then having some brown/pink blood. I was quite a bit upset, and I wasn't holding out much hope. I waited for 2.5hrs and finally got called in. The Dr took some blood and I waited to go for a scan. About half an hour later I was wheeled around to the u/s dept and had a scan. My bladder was very full so at first the scan was through thte abdomen. We could see the yolk sac, but not much else. The sonographer let me empty my bladder and we did an internal. Still not much. No heartbeat and the gestational sac measuring 6w4d. I decided to walk back to the ED and waited for an hour for the dr to see me again. He told me they want me to have another u/s in a week. They can't rule out ectopic. I waited for another 20mins for someone to pull my bung out and eventually I was home by about 5pm (I got there at about 10:40am).
So, I think I am going to m/c very soon, I knew there was something not all together right about this pregnancy, now my fears have been realized.
Today I got up and I was still having black bleeding. I got on the computer and thought I had better go to the toilet and I think I have just passed the sac. So it is done. And I am really sad! I was 8w2d.
I know I am going to be ok, but at the moment I can't stop crying. Why couldn't this happen when I was pregnant and 14yo! Why didn't it happen when I was midway through my studies and contemplating termination. Why does it happen when I planned to have another baby. Don't get me wrong I love my girls and I am happy I didn't have to go through m/c then... I don't know what i am trying to say.
I feel like maybe someone somewhere is trying to tell me not to have a forth. Not sure what we are going to do, I suppose it's one hurdle at a time, huh?
Tanya
