The beautiful birth of “little brother” ~ 12 April 2011
I’d been in and out of pre-labour for weeks, but that’s exactly how it was with DD, so I just went with it, I wasn’t impatient or frustrated. Throughout the pregnancy my midwife was completely hands-off, I had no internals, nothing like that, but I knew I was dilating. At about 39 weeks I cleaned under the fridge and got all the bugs out of our light fittings, that was my signal to the baby that I was ready. Every day I would have contractions that would come and go. I had an epic day of pre-labour on Saturday, contractions coming every 5-10 minutes, lasting about a minute. They would go away for an hour or so and then come back again. Everything had settled down again on Sunday and I’d just have contractions every now and again. These contractions weren’t painful, they we’re just there, my belly would tighten and feel like a basket ball and then go soft again.
On Monday night as DH and I were going to sleep we were talking about how freezing cold my bum, hips and thighs were, they felt like ice. It was obvious that all my blood and heat were needed elsewhere. DH and I felt my belly, it was all warm and when you put your hand over my stretched out belly button where the skin is thinner you could feel it was actually quite hot in there.
I woke having contractions at 1:00am on Tuesday morning (39+4). This was not at all unusual given I’d been in pre-labour for so long. Somehow DS was in bed with us and I felt like he urgently needed to be settled in his own bed, so I got DH to do that. At 1:24am I looked at the clock and said to DH, we really need to monitor this more closely, these contractions feel “different”.
Sometime in the next few minutes I decided that they were indeed different and rang my midwife (this was at 1:37am, he told me when he checked his phone later). I said to him, quite calmly “I have no idea how far apart these contractions are or how long they are lasting, but they are a level of pain up from pre-labour. I’m shaking, I feel sick and my hands are clammy”. He said, “Let’s meet at the birth centre at 2:00am!”. I was also sweating profusely, even though I’d just been lying down in bed asleep. I could feel it dripping under my arms and I could smell it.
I started making my way down our front stairs to the car. DH went next door to get our neighbour so there would be someone in the house with the kids. He then rang his brother and SIL and asked them to come and relieve our neighbour as soon as possible. He grabbed my bag and some towels for the car.
I think I had another few contractions getting to the car and when we were in the car. We arrived at the birth centre a couple of minutes before 2:00am and I had another one on the ground when I got out of the car. A couple of minutes later my midwife and another midwife arrived. My midwife decided to get a wheelchair but it was so old and crappy and just didn’t work so I got out of it and had another contraction. My midwife touched me on my back to reassure me and I said “Please don’t touch me”. I was trying to be polite but there was no mistaking the underlying tone of “Touch me again and I’ll rip your ****ing head off”. Later DH said to my midwife “Mate, didn’t you see how far back I was, 2 meters mate, 2 meters, out of striking distance”. My midwife said when it happened he thought “I’ve been told this, I was warned – oops”. Anyway, needless to say, everyone kept well back from then on.
It was a short walk from the car to the birth room but I kind of hobbled bent over with my hands on my knees. The room was dimly lit, there was a mattress and a bean bag on the floor. I flung myself down onto them and held on tight. My midwife suggested it was probably time to take my pants off so I did. I asked for the gas and they brought the mouthpiece over. No one said anything much. DH was sitting on a chair somewhere nearby. The two midwifes were somewhere down the business end (but still well back). It was so different to the crazy rush of DD’s birth. Everyone was in place, ready, calm and centred.
I used the gas, bit down on the mouthpiece and screamed during contractions. In between a contraction I reminded everyone that they were not to tell me the sex, that I wanted to find out for myself.
And then it was all on. Heaps of pain, heaps of screaming, my body pushing. I felt my waters explode and splash all over the place (and I thought, geez that’s good that everyone is well back, they wouldn’t have wanted that all over them).
I felt the baby’s head come out and then with the next contraction the body. My midwife helped the baby drop down below, I took my T-shirt off and scooped bubs up from between my legs. It was 2:21am. The little creature was all slippery, warm and lovely. I had a little peak past the cord and announced that it was a boy.
I turned around and cuddled my sweet little boy. The midwives draped warm towels and cotton blankets over us. Just beautiful.
After a while it was time to deliver the placenta. I was expecting to be given a shot of synto. My midwife and I had discussed my previous precipitous labours and bad experiences with afterbirth pains. He wanted me to have the synto because apparently precipitous labours have an increased risk of PPH. I was a bit disappointed, I really wanted a natural third stage, but agreed because I trusted him. But now we were here he had changed his mind and wanted me to do it on my own. Awesome!
I wanted to kind of get up on my knees so I went to hand DS to DH but the midwives both said at once “No, no, no, you can’t, he’s still attached to you!” LOL! We hadn’t even talked about delayed cord clamping, it’s just standard procedure there. My midwife offered to let DH or me cut the cord but neither of us cared so he did it. I think he was quite pleased, he said he doesn’t get to cut cords very often.
So DH had DS and I was up on my knees. My midwife asked me how I felt and I said “Just kind of weird and uncomfortable”. He suggested I give a little push, I did and it all just dropped out, such a weird feeling. It seemed really big, it completely filled a kidney dish to overflowing. We all had a bit of a look, everything was in order. My midwife said I had a second degree tear, probably down the scar from my episiotomy with DS1. He didn’t want to stitch it because it was clean and straight and was long but not deep. He was confident it would heal on its own. I am so glad he didn’t stitch it, it is so much more comfortable and he is right, it’s healing really well all by itself.
Now began what my midwife describes as aggressive 4th stage pain management. I had three things popped up my bum (a couple of pandol and a voltaren) and I took two ponstan. DH gives DS back to me and we have a feed together but the afterbirth contractions are excruciating, as bad as the beginning of active labour. I need to give DS to DH, get on all fours again and use the gas! It really worked though. So we kind of stayed like that for a while, feeding, cuddling, then having contractions that gradually got less intense and further apart. My lovely midwife made us some tea and toast.
At about 4am I had a long, long, long hot shower. Bliss! At 5:30am DH went home to get the kids up, fed and dressed (Tuesday is a non-kindy day). My afterbirth pains were much more settled and DS and I just snoozed together on the mattress on the floor.
At about 8:00am DH arrived with DS1 and DD dressed and full of porridge for breakfast. They were sort of interested in their new little brother but the big, brightly coloured birthing balls were kind of hard to beat as an attraction. My Mum, sister and niece arrived a little bit later, stayed for a bit and then everyone went back to our place. I tested positive for Group Strep B at 36 weeks and my midwife knew there was no way they’d get the ABs into me, so he really wanted me to stay till 12:00pm to monitor bubs. But it was also good to be there so I could have the gas if I needed it for the afterbirth pains.
DH arrived back again at 11:00am, the three of us hung out till 12 and then we all went home!!!
I thought my first two births, and my recovery afterwards, in a private hospital with a private obstetrician were great. I had a very low level of intervention with them both but that was just my luck. I guess I was unlucky in that the interventions I did have (internals, S&S, episiotomy with DS, managed 3rd stage with both, completely knocked out with pain killers for the 4th stage with DD, stitches for both) hampered my recovery and were now, I believe, completely unnecessary. This birth, at the local public birth centre with a midwife I’d built a relationship with, is just incomparable! So, so, so much better. I felt like I had very best of care, made really sensible and informed decisions all along the way. The completely hands-off, wait-and-see, don’t do anything unless absolutely necessary approach has just worked for me so well. The birth was such an amazing experience, just awesome and my recovery has been fantastic. I absolutely wouldn’t change a thing.
The stats:
1:24am Stage 1 - 54 minutes
2:18am Stage 2 - 3 minutes
2:21am DS born
2:55am Placenta delivered
Little brother:
Weight: 3.67kg
Length: 53cm
Head Circumference: 35cm
Apgars 9 and 9
