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Here I am again
Today was my NT scan. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. I woke up happy (and sick from m/s) because today was the day I could finally relax. I was 12 weeks and was so happy to be wearing maternity clothes. I loved my newly formed baby bump. We had decided to take the boys to our scan and show them their new baby brother or sister for the first time. DH and I were overjoyed when we saw our baby was healthy and kicking at our 10 week scan less than two weeks ago. The heartbeat was so strong, just like galloping horses, we thought everything would be ok from there on.
As we went into the room, I felt a bit nervous, but assumed it was because Id had bad news so many times before, but I didn't think anything was actually wrong...but it was. The scan showed a perfectly formed, very still little baby that measured just three days behind expected gestation. I thought the baby was just sleeping.
I was then offered an internal scan and the news was confirmed. My baby died 3 days ago. My Dr was informed and I was told to go home and wait until Monday when my Dr would advise me the next steps. No counselling, no Im sorry for your loss, nothing.
So here I am, back here left to deal with the reality of four miscarriages within 15 months. I am not strong enough to deal with another loss. I can't do it. How do I process this when I am absolutely hysterical. How do I cope when I can't even breathe without feeling pain in every part of my body? How do I let go again? I loved my baby so much. I could do it the first two times, but then the third took me to a place I never want to revisit. I can't do this... not now, not again. Im too broken...
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Oh my hun that is so not fair and my heart broke just reading the title of this thread. I am so so so sorry. :grouphug:
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oh no, no, no Diamond girl, that is just too sad, you poor darling :comfort:
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:( I'm so sorry :comfort:
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Oh, Diamond Girl. :(
I'm so sorry hun :hug: :hug:
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So sorry hun, my heart breaks for you.
Regards,
Dianne
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I'm so sorry DG, so sorry for your loss of your precious bub, for having to go through this again.
Biggest of hugs, xox
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I'm so so sorry. This is just not fair :(
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No advice just gentle :hug:
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I hope you're ok now. You can still do it.
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I am so sorry. I don't know what to say x
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How devastating. Be kind to yourself xx
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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The warmest of hugs for you and your family. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Take care.
