If you didnt have to ..... would you???

Well i am at the point again where i am going to try DD in child care 1 day a week.

I will be at home (as i work weekends) so it isnt like i am being forced to have her in cc for work reasons.

I want her to be able to have a hint of independence from 100% mummy time (especially with #2 due in 10 weeks) and get to socialise with children her own age.

I went there today and have mixed emotions (might be preg hormones not sure).

* All the children in her group were sick, snotty and coughing.. and with DD fighting flus and chest infections all this winter she is finally feeling a little better and i was thinking oh no.....

* She coped well and was clingy at some stages to me but this really doesnt worry me too much as this is one of my reasons for her in care - to get some independence.

* The group leader said that Children that only go 1 day a week find it harder to transition or cope as it isnt such a regular thing for them.. and this is all i am wanting to put her in for


So i guess my question is:

If you didnt have to put your children into CC - would you?
Have you? And how did it go?
Was it a positive experience for you and bub?

PLEASE NOTE : I have posted a while back about cc and my choice to put her in to get some support and feedback and recieved a far bit of 'HATE PRIVATE MESSAGES' and posts from other members telling me how lucky i should be to 'have a choice' etc etc and that i am rubbing it into mothers that work (although i work part time only not monday-fridy 9-5 type of job)... So if you have the urge to post anything like this, comments not constructive nor supportive - i ask you to not do so as i dont need it right now

Thanks :hug:

I'm a full time SAHM, and I have Nina in daycare 2 times a week. I initially did this when she was 6 months old as I work went back to work on those days. But I'm not working at the moment, and I'm not sure if I'm going back, but I have kept Nina in. The main reasons I keep Nina are these:
~ socialising. We have a few friends with other toddlers/kids which we know, but we don't get a chance to see them often as they work.
~ I need a break to catch up on the housework, errands etc.
~ It gives me one on one time with Emily. As I get this one on one time Emily during the week, on the weekends, I make sure I give Nina one on one time as well.

So they are my reasons. It's a very personal choice. Make sure you are completely happy with the decision you make, and make it by yourself. Don't let others POV affect your decision. It's not their life, it's yours. You need to do what's best for you.

I had my kids in childcare last year. I didn't have to and only did it for the social side of things. Thing only reason i took them out is because it was getting too expensive. I want to put DD back in but may need to find a cheaper option. It'll give me a nice break anyhow since i'm pregnant and have no energy. I think it is totally up to you what you do.

Personally no.. We did try it with Ds 2 at the end of last year but he was just so upset and so was I.. and he only went for 4 hours for 3 weeks in a row..

I wanted him to get used to being separate from us as he has school next year and is rarely looked after by anyone but myself or DH..

I have heard one day simply isn't enough but I wasn't emotionally able to do it anymore then that...

I think it is always a good idea to give it a go.. plus you work weekends and with baby 2 on the way you deserve some time to yiurself as well kwim?

I think give it a go see how she does..

I put Cooper in 2 days a week when I was working now I am not but I wouldnt change it, it has helped us both so much, him to gain some independence and time with children his own age as well as learning to adapt to change ect, and me some time to do what I need to do stress free. I cant believe some people were rude you though in the end it is your decision and comes down to what suits you and your family.

Opps.... ETA didn't answer your original question: I would. I need some time emotionally and mentally for myself that I don't get when I work weekends. Now that Jovie is older I feel comfortable with what we are doing.

Jovie is in Family Day Care and that was all I was comfortable with. She's going 2 days a week and atm I'm working those days, but most of the time I work 1 day a week rather than 2, so I have 1 day without Jovie and Matilda. Matilda is 4 and goes to Montessori 3 days a week. She goes 1 day because of me working, 1 day for me to catch up and get things like grocerys done with Jovie (for other reasons....) and 1 day for me to have a day off both girls. Like I said the last 4 weeks and the next 4 weeks I'll be working all of those days.

BUT I needed it when I was pregnant with Jovie, to have at least 1 day off the strain, physically and mentally.

Yes I would try

My kids have had 2 - 3 days daycare since they were 11 months old - when I was preg with DD (#2)- I kept DS in 2 days a week the whole time I was on mat leave and I think it helped keep a bit of normality for him too.

This time DS is at school, but I will keep DD in 3 days a week until the dust has settled after #3 arrives and then drop her back to 2 days. I need to keep a spot for her for next year when I need it for July and going back to work part-time if plans fall into place. Also, I figure I had 1 on 1 time with #1 and #2 and want the same with #3. And like you, we can afford it luckily with paid mat leave and baby bonus etc.

1 day is a harder transition I think - but depends on your child too.

I remember when I first went looking at centres and all kids seemed to have runny noses etc - but it hasn't been too bad at all (except for conjunctivitis - I HATE conjunctivitis) ....

good luck!

Thanks so much girls.
I know i am probably just getting cold feet and she will love - Ashley loves the other kids and playing :)

Just wanted to know others did this too (and that i just wasnt being a 'lazy mum' - as this is what i was starting to think i was)

Hugs!

NOT LAZY!

My three all do 2 days a week, and have done since they were around 12 months old.

I am not working at the moment, but OMG, I LOVE IT when I have those days to myself!

I start my new role in a couple of weeks, so it will be a necessity then.

Financially we don't need got me to work, but I need to work/have time away from the kids, so in answer to your question.........yes I would.......

I have nothing but great things to say about my cc centre: it is a wonderfulr esource for me, the kids, and our family unit.

PP - I remember your original post about this, and seriously, I cannot believe that you got hate messages for it. People should learn to keep their opinions to themselves if they are not walking in your shoes. JMO of course.

I have DS in daycare two days a week, and not currently working (obviously) I love the days he is in there. Like today, I got to vac and wash the floors - it had been ages since they had been done, and I so love the fact that I can bond with Mehkelti, like I did with him when he was a newborn ya know???

I wouldn't have him in daycare less than two days a week, just because its a long week between visits IYKWIM?

But tis up to you hon, and if you get hate messages from this - send the biatches my way and I will deal with them!!!!

Thanks Lucy!

Mel - why arent you working!!! cmon girl! Mehkelti is 1 week old now (lol!!! :P )
Thanks for being my bouncer! :)

It is just to start the one day a week and then i guess when #2 arrives then see if 2 days is more viable if you know what i mean

PP- My DS goes to CC one day a week ATM (He only started a couple of months ago). I was also told he would have trouble settling. He does cry when I drop him off but stops straight away when I leave (I've checked ;)). He has settled well and is happy when I pick him up.
I work full-time but am lucky enough for my mum to care for him on other days. I decided to send him for social reasons and keep him busy (also to take pressure off my mum). I am happy with my decision and will probably increase to two days next year.
GL with your decision :)

Hun, I think that using child care one day a week is a great idea. I do believe that it is good for most children (not all), as they get a different type of socialisation and different activities. I also think it's good for children to have a mum who isn't totally exhausted and has nothing to give. Having been pg with a toddler, and also having a nb and a toddler, all I can say to is that you will benefit from the break and you will be a better mummy to both your beautiful children for doing this.

Jack had been in day care while I was working, and I changed him down to 1 day a week at a different centre when I went on maternity leave for Tom (which turned out to be when Tom was born as he arrived 4 weeks early). Jack did take longer to settle into the new centre as it was only day a week. I think that 2 days would have helped him settle in more quickly. But he did settle in, and he wasn't too upset. If you can afford it, and bring yourself to do it, maybe you could start her at 2 days a week just for 3 or 4 weeks and then drop her back. But even if you just go with 1 day, she will settle in. In between kindy days, you can be talking to her about what she does at kindy, and doing some of the same activities (even role-playing role call, morning tea time etc - Jack loves doing this). That would help her settle in more quickly too.

I HTH hun. Please don't feel guilty. This is a good idea, and your DD will be just fine.

i haven't read all the responses... but i started a similar thread to this not long ago, something about childcare and socialisation.... i too did some research and also read that kids only going one day wouldn't transition as well as others doing 2+ days etc etc... i have two retired parents who mind my dd (16 months) three days a week, i didn't actually NEED to use childcare, but i just thought dd would maybe benefit from going...

in the end i decided against it, after dd getting sick after EVERY session at playgroup, i just thought how much worse it would be at childcare.... also i found some interesting material opposing parents trying to 'socialise' their babies through childcare.... it gave me a lot to think about and i decided she was too young for me to be expecting her to be 'social', IYKWIM.... we go to playgroup reasonably regularly, and she has gone from being a clingy baby, to a pretty well adjusted toddler running about playing...

if you google childcare for socialisation etc you might find the stuff i came across... it was dead against it in babies this young (for the reason of clingy-ness/socialisation).... anyways obviously if you NEED childcare thats a different story... i know lots of kids thrive in childcare and have nothing against it, and maybe one day dd will go when she is older, but i think its important its used for the right reasons - you're little girl is clingy cos she wants her mum, thats perfect natural and normal, give her a couple of months she might surprise you and come out of her shell..... is there a playgroup you can go to? i found the difference between my dd from say 13 months, to 15 months HUGELY significant - she really came into her own.

anyways good luck im sure you'll work out whats best for you xx

I tried to get DD2 into daycare one day a week when DS was 3 weeks old, just for a break, but there was no room in the under 3's room.
So as soon as she turned 3 we went over & finished her enrolment & she's been going every Thursday ever since. She loves it & I get one day a week with DS alone.
Its good for all of us.
DD2 gets to interact with other kids her age & has LOADS of fun & I get a break.
I have NO family around at all & That is the only time I get with out all the kids around fighting for my attention.
DD2 is 3, so adjusted pretty easy. DD1 started going occasionally when she was 15 months. She went for 3 months, then started again when she was 2 one day a week.
I was SAHM then & am now, but I think the kids need time with other kids.
& mums need time out to scratch their bums & shave their legs!!

No way do I think you're lazy!
Darcy is in ATM because I work, but in a few short months I won't be and I have no plans to change her going.
I aslo like that it is bolstering her immunity to stuff we wouldn't normally come into contact with (different spin on the snotty nosed kids thing if it helps).

We just started sending DD to daycare the other week and I spose we don't really *have* to. My mum has looked after Natty on my work days for the last 6 months. And FIL has had her on occasion too. But it became a hassle when mum planned to go on holidays etc, so I decided to just send her - seemed much easier to do so.
I've got her in two days/week, so can't comment on the one day/week thing. We're still adjusting/settling in :)
I don't think you're lazy at all. I have noticed a change in Natty already. She is heaps more confident with the other kids at playgroup (she used to rarely let me out of her sight, and would often cling to my leg the whole time. And this is the mothers' group we've been with since she was 3 months old!) Now she is comfortable for a bit longer, though she still likes to have regular contact with me. So the social aspect of it has already been a big plus for her.
And the snotty nose thing... You just can't escape it, Babes. She'll get sick. But it's gotta happen sometime.

I agree, give it a go!

DD started preschool this year and although i felt guilty at first because I'm on mat leave at the moment, it is the BEST thing we've ever done. She LOVES it. She is a very energetic, active little girl and when DS arrived i just felt like she wasn't getting the time, attention, stimulation, interaction etc that she needed. She goes 1.5 days a week (preschool closes at lunch time on Thursdays) and next year I'm considering putting her in another day in preparation for school the following year, she loves it that much.

She was 3 though and I was very lucky, despite her never being in care before we've not had a single tear or even a hesitation. The first day I came back to pick her up she stood at the fence and yelled at me to get back in the car and go home :cryinglaugh: - OK, it's funny now, but it broke my heart at the time! LOL. I went into it with the plan that if it was distressing for either of us (mainly her! LOL) we would take her straight out and try again next year.

The main reason I did it was for her, but I must admit I love having those days with just me and DS. I feel like he's getting my undevoted attention and I can just enjoy him without having to chase DD around. As well as the advantages others have mentioned like getting groceries done or just putting DS in the pram and hitting the shops - much easier with one child than two.

The illness thing does suck though...she's been sick more often in the last 6 months than in her entire life. Worse than that though is she brings it home and DS gets it too. He's up to cold #5....DD didn't get sick at all until she was about 18 months old. So that's sucked, but it's the one negative.