seriously, dont touch my baby

i was at the shop today and some stranger came over to see my 2 month old baby, she was saying oh she is so cute etc but then she put her finger inside my DD's grasp. it freaked me out. i dont know what sort of germs she has or where her hands have been and she is touching my babys hands, hands which she actually puts in her mouth and rubs her eyes with! am i over reacting here? i didnt know waht to do, i sorta moved her away from her slightly, not wanting to be rude but giving her the body language that iw asnt happy, the lady didnt get it and kept touching chelseas hands! she better not get sick now!

i feel a bit the same - even with my bro's kids - went crook at one tonight cos i knew she'd been playing with the cat and went to stroke Emeralds face - ummmm NO! haven't been out in pubic where anyone has tried touching her yet, but i'm not afraid to have a go at someone if they do!

I know that it seems a little confronting now but in a mere couple of months she will be rolling around on the floor and putting all sorts in her mouth, half of which you wont know its origin!
Unfortunatly we cant wrap our bubbies in sterilised cotton wool, as much as we want to...so while it does seem rude to you that the lady put her hand in your babys grasp, we cant avoid germs and viruses getting to our babys.....air borne viruses and bacteria cant be avoided, for example, pollutants in the environment....the ladys hand, whilst an unknown entity, is just one of HUNDREDS of potential sources.
I have personally been of the opinion that Ill let my kids play in the mud or dirt, as I really believes it improves their immunities (along, of course with a healthy diet and plenty of exercise)...not that I would let them swallow bucketfuls of mud or eat every insect that crawls their way, lol!....but the more that they get exposed to the more that their bodys immunity builds up a natural resistance to these things..thats just my personal opinion though...I know that every child is different!
But yes, I can understand your disdain with the situation you were confronted with, but within a couple of months, when she starts crawling around everywhere, she will be handling and swallowing stuff that you wont even be aware of!!

I found this little analogy I heard once very amusing....and quite true!
If your 1st child drops their dummy, it gets sterilised and boiled before being put back in thier mouths
2nd child will get a rinse under the tap
3rd child will get a wipe on the shirt
4th child will get a clean from the dog!!!

Best of luck to you and your bubby :)

Yep - DD had the cutest chubby cheeks when she was little and people always wanted to touch them... GRRRRR... So I always kept wipes really handy and wiped her face hands when people touched her. I just got practiced at standing between her and the stranger, so they could look but not touch her.

one of the mums at my mums group had no shoes on and was letting my boy suck on her toes!!! :doh: wtf??? how rude!! I picked him up and moved him away and she was like dont worry theyre clean! im sorry but thats just wrong!
I know how you feel.

I don't think you were over reacting if that does worry you, but she must be just so beautiful that she can draw a crowd of adoring onlookers :D
Maybe next time just reach in and pick her up. The stranger will think you're lifting her up to show her off, whereas really you're lifting her out of arm's reach.....

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one of the mums at my mums group had no shoes on and was letting my boy suck on her toes!!! :doh: wtf??? how rude!! I picked him up and moved him away and she was like dont worry theyre clean! im sorry but thats just wrong!
I know how you feel.

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:o :o :o gross!!!!!!!

That is also the reason why I love my hugabub, in the pram, anyone can just reach in and touch, breathe all over them etc, but in the hugabub theyre right next to you, and no one can get closer!

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I found this little analogy I heard once very amusing....and quite true!
If your 1st child drops their dummy, it gets sterilised and boiled before being put back in thier mouths
2nd child will get a rinse under the tap
3rd child will get a wipe on the shirt
4th child will get a clean from the dog!!!

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:rofl: SOOO TRUE!!!

But hun, if you don't like ppl touching her, just say so. That might seem rude to some ppl, but other will understand. And she's YOURS. If you really don't want her touched, throw a blanket over the pram just as you enter the store. That way ppl won't be AS inclined to look and touch.

Or you can say: "Please don't touch her ... she has *insert scary illness here" ;)

I always wanted people to touch more than they did - if DS got ill, I'd make the antibodies and DS would have a stronger immune system. Although I would draw the line at sucking toes.

Now I'm feeling bad for stroking socked feet on a 7mo baby I saw yesterday and was adoring!

Then again, I am a really shockingly lapse mother. DS's dummy got a wipe, a quick suck from me and back in. And now he sucks on the ear of his bunny, which I really don't wash often enough. Ah well, he's a big boy now and can live with it.

I like the saying : What does not kill them, only makes them stronger.

You can't keep them away from germs. Just breathing the air allows germs into their systems.

I totally get that you don't want strangers to touch your baby, I don't too. But it's not about getting sick, it's about possesiveness. Don't touch my baby, because it's MINE. I'm SOOO guilty of this!!

Oh yeah, wanted to add ... with a baby as cute as yours .... no wonder ppl want to touch her. She's a sweetie pie :)

thanks nadine! :-) she is pretty cute!

i agree with you demongrrl, but she is only 2 months and the extent of things she touches (by her own accord) aat home are limited to our family, herself, her cot, whatever i put her on during tummy time. so i just dont want to be exposing such a young child to potential viruses etc. in a few months when she is doing the mouthing thing i guess i wont be so worried.. well... i guess i would still feel a bit wierd about strangers touching her. i dunno, when i think about her mouthing dirty things off the floor it doesnt freak me out as much as a stranger touching her... maybe it is a bit of the possessivness thing you were talking about Nadine.

oh and the sucking on the toe thing.. who would do that? YUCK!

oh, and she is my second baby!

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one of the mums at my mums group had no shoes on and was letting my boy suck on her toes!!!

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Now thats new :spit: I'll probably let ds chew my own toes ... after a shower, or even dd's toes after a bath. But sucking some lady's toes in public might get a boy arrested later in life :p ;)

I don't like people touching my baby either - mainly because I don't think there is any benefit in it for my baby, it is for the self gratification of the person doing the touching only. I had a baby capsule for DS that sat in the top of my pram and when he was asleep I could close the pram hood and the capsule hood. I had a few people do laps of the pram trying to figure out where the baby is . . . :lol: it was really quite comical to watch them.

As far as germs go - I am not concerned too much about that. DH is hilarious with dummies and food. If my kids drop stuff on the ground (assuming we are not in a shopping centre of somewhere really gross) he puts it off to the side until he is sure that anyone who would have seen it fall isn't around and then gives it back to whichever child dropped it. It makes me laugh. My kids will have great immune systems :)

This is why I always took my bubies out in slings when they were tiny.

Yep i'm all for building healthy immune systems, dirt, didn't do the sterilising dummies etc but I think there is a difference between healthy germ exposure and random strangers at shopping centres esp in cold and flu season

I tend to get a little over protective with strangers approaching/touching my kids too.

I especially can't stand my MIL picking my babies after she has had a smoke, and I haaateee my little nieces putting their grubby hands on my newborns dummy and repeatedly putting in my newborns mouth, whilst my SIL looks on and laughs. grr

I find this really confronting, too. A few weeks ago I was at my chiropractor, and without a word the chiropractic assistant came up to me, placed her hand on my daughter's head, and kissed her! It happened so quickly I didn't know what to do. I know that people go crazy for babies, but still...that's my baby! I always try to explain to my daughter what is going on, and what I am about to do before I do it, so for a stranger to wordlessly plant a kiss on her without asking me or my baby...it's about respect, I think. I know I'd feel strange if someone I didn't know came up to me and planted a kiss on my face! I suppose sometimes babies are just considered public property - and as Townsvillegirl mentioned, it's about the self-gratification of others, too.

I completely sympathise with you here. I had some strange lady just walk up to me when DS was a couple of weeks old and she touched his feet. I nearly freaked it!! I was like - why are you touching his feet?? Why are you touching him at all??? I didn't say anything 'cause I didn't want to be rude. I would this time - who give a toss if she doesn't like it. She's invaded my space.

I'm going to buy a hug a bub - I can't stand the thought of that happening again............

People are going to be surprised at me walking down the street saying, "Don't you be touching my baby!!" Especially with all the flus around at the moment (being a winter baby - they'll probably still be an issue). I'll also have to contend with a son who'll still be going to Day Care once a week and catching all and sundry from other kids.

I also think there's an air of creepiness about it - I don't know why I think that, I just do.

I HATED people kissing DS when he was a baby and I HATED people who were sick touching him then saying 'I've been sick for a week...'. He was a very sickly baby, he went from the 90 percentile when he was born to the 20th percentile at 6mths old because he was always sick. Anyone come a metre of him with anything he would get it. If you are sick stay away from my kids!!

Thanks for letting me get that out :D.

Mum2 - I agree - I hate it when people say they are sick but still hover. A few weeks ago My FIL had a cold so said he wouldn't have a cuddle (wouldn't have gotten one anyway being sick) and then proceeded to blow his nose into a used hanky, put it in his pocket and then stroke my sons face with the same hand - it made my skin crawl but luckily I was holding him at the time so moved away

Gross re the toe sucking - LOL whats with THAT?

id be a bit the same, i guess its just the same as your personal space.... some people cant stand people touching your pregnant belly... personally i dont mind. but ive never had the urge to touch anyone elses belly....

if i were ohhing and ahhing over strangers baby, i wouldnt be inclined to touch the baby at all... maybe if i knew the mum , i may touch like, their belly or little feet if they had socks on... but yeah. im not a big 'toucher'

I don't think you were over-reacting.

DH & I used to have issues with this all the time... DS1 had loads of black hair & people used to come up & stroke his head ... DH in particular HATED it.

I've heard the germ argument already... that they need to build their immune systems.. and I was definitely of the 'rinse the dummy' school after they were a few months old.
But by then they are collecting their own germs, I think it is entirely different when they are so litle still, and you are talking here about a stranger's germs.. IMO it is different to a baby crawling around finding her own germs!

Letting someone else's child suck your toes.. that is just rude!!

i remember when ds was born, he too had sooo much hair which reallly attracted alot of people to touch him, after a few weeks I ended up putting a muslin wrap over his pram or carrying him in the sling so people couldn't touch him. There is plenty of time for your kids to get germs from various places, but not while they are so young. Afterall isn't that part of the reason that breast is best to build up antibodies etc etc instead of letting strangers touch their face or hands to let them build up immunity!

It really did pi*s me off when strangers or even family who didn't wash their hands would touch my ds and god forbid if you had been smoking, you would have to change your clothes and wash hands, face before going anywhere near him!

Yes i am a germaphobe and I have heard it all before that you should let them get exposed etc etc, but sorry, i'm not about to let strangers put their hands all over my son, you never know where they have been, there is plenty of other ways to get some germs into them.

ahh that feels better for getting that out. Thanks!

Yes, I got SO annoyed when people would come and touch Jazz when she was a newborn. Yes she may put everything in her mouth in a few months but RIGHT NOW she is tiny and new and vulnerable! So don't touch her! GRR! I empathise. Maybe buy a sling LOL I loved being able to be protective lioness and wrap my arms around her whenever a hoard of handy-hyenas came near her!

I like the suggestion of warning people that she has just had a highly infectious disease... that should send them packing... old people tend to be very worried about Shingles (related to chickenpox) so maybe Chickenpox is the way to go!

I struggle with people invading my (and my childrens) personal space more so than their germs though. I think it's really wrong that adults think it's ok to impose their presence on our children... it's like saying "of course you won't mind... if I want to touch you i will because you can't tell me not to and you had better give a smile because I want to be validated". And of course, so often, if your child rejects their advances they are being "silly" :( Makes my blood boil!