Do you think your mind has a lot to do with going into labour?

Howdy :D

Just wanting to ramble off some random thoughts, cos I'm sure Jess is sick of me talking about it on facebook.. lol

I have thoughts that the reason why I didn't go into labour with Miss M was because of the pressure that surrounded me at the time, from friends, family etc - and negative influences as well (eg friends saying, oh you won't go through with it, you wouldn't be able to handle it, you'll be begging for another section blah blah blah) so I really think that stalled any chance I had of being mentally prepared and actually "allowing" myself to go into labour.

PLUS - I had thoughts in the back of my head at the time that I would go overdue - because my mum went overdue with all us kids (3 weeks over with my brother, 2 weeks with my sister and was induced on due date with me because they didn't want to let her go over again) so it was already planted in my head that I would go over.

What do other people think? Is that enough "baggage" to stall labour from happening?

So here I was thinking, oh yeah, I'll go overdue each pregnancy because my mum did - and it only just occurred to me the other day - I was around 37 weeks pregnant with DS and I started losing my plug in small amounts. So... maybe I'm not like my mum and I can do this? I had DS by elective c/section at 39 +1 because of a few reasons, but mainly because I didn't think I was capable of giving birth naturally (few reasons that I won't go into). So maybe because I started losing my plug at 37 weeks with him, its possible that I can actually go into labour on my own this time? Especially because I'm planning on the RLT, EPO and acupuncture/acupressure stuff. I tried acupuncture with Miss M but I don't think it actually had any effect because I was just too... stressed. But maybe if I hadn't of been in the position I was for my first pregnancy, maybe I would have gone into labour on my own eventually.

Oh I dunno - just random thoughts chucked out there. Nobody has to reply, its pretty disjointed thinking.. LOL

OMG sweetheart... yes, yes and YES!! Completely. I'll have a chat to you about some things ;) xoxo

I think your mentality can make a huge difference, if you keep telling yourself you can't then you won't. I don't know how into visualising you are but try to imagine yourself (when time comes) going into labour and birthing your baby your way.

My old dance teacher use to make us visualise our successes, how we danced each routine etc so I definately think it makes a difference.

Nae x

definently

i also think you can put yourself in labour
im sure i did this with tay i was so scared of going over i kept telling myself i would have her by her due date and kept having labour on and off for 2 weeks id go in then when i got to the hospital i got scared and thought nope not ready and it eased off and stopped naturally every time lol

ended up being induced because she was getting cranky in there lol

but yes i agree your mental perception and position has alot to do with it.

you can definently go into labour this time mel. i know it :D

I think our mental state has a lot to do with it... not that I have gone through a labour or birth just yet but this line of thinking is a major reason as to why I am getting my brain in the right frame of mind IYKWIM

Definately babe.

Will BBL after sports with the kiddies, to tell you about NOT wanting Kane to come out...... and how it stalled me.....

Yes, absolutely!!!!

Both times I had my induction booked & I went into labour within hours. I think that because I had an end date I relaxed & that was it.

Well I was completely convinced (due to family history) that I would go overdue with DS...but he surprised us by arriving 2 1/2 weeks early! So in my case, no, I don't think my mind had a lot to do with it...he was just ready to arrive. That's not to say that in some cases it doesn't influence proceedings though.

I defianetly think emotions and your mind have a lot to do with it... I was stressing about going into labour and not being able to say goodbye to my granddad, or going into labour when we were staying with my parents (and away from our hospital).

I found out my granddad passed at about 4pm, by 8pm I was on the phone with the hospital letting them know I was havinf irregular contractions and midnight my waters broke. I definitely think in a way my mindset was stopping me going into labour, and once my granddad had passed I felt a real release, that it was over and he was at peace, and I went into labour.

i agree with everyone coz the same thing happened with me on the monday i had BH for like 6 hours and they just went away and till thursday i was telling myself it gonna happen and sure enough thursday morning i had pain and my wateers broke at about 9:30am i think the walking definately helped i walked all mon tue and wed and i kept getting told he cant come on my sisters birthday and that he had to come by friday and sure enough he came on friday lol and on his due date 2

I always thought from the beginning that I would go into labour early.... had my hospital bag packed early, bubs room done, all the clothes in the drawers/cupboard etc.
I had my boy 3 weeks early! As it was kind of a shock I was ready to deliver my baby.

yeah, i reckon the mind is a powerful gift/curse. just look at the whole 'nesting' thing we do when we are preggers...

it's inevitable i reckon for us to compare our mum's experiences with our own. they are the closest to us to have gone through birth (i know that i def thought my labour would progress very similar to hers...BUT it sooo didnt).

may be a silly question, but have you looked into hypnotherapy or some kind of hypnobirth thing? might be cool to see if there is something out there that can help break any concious/subconcious walls that might stall labour.
and you're right, there was alot of pressure last time, from all corners (btw, i can't believe that someone actually told you that you'd be 'begging for a section'...seriously, that is totally bonkers and soooooo not true!).

would be cool if there was some pregnancy/birth meditation course out there...i would soo be joining up for next time.

It is my belief that your mind is your biggest birthing organ. If you're heads not right your Hoo Haa is going to have trouble dancing... It's a fact.

We are burdened of stories of mothers/sisters/aunts of births that went wrong - for some sadistic reason everyone wants to share their horror story. If you are like me and profess to loving labour and birth - you are often seen as freaky! ;)

We need to get away from this - to psychologically separate ourselves from this baggage. Don't underestimate it's load... :hug:

When a woman says: "I think I'm going to hve an issue birthing because mum did - you can be sure she will"... Of course not always but often.
Because our minds are powerful powerful powerful organs. They can manifest disease, pain & difficulty birthing to name but a few...

What needs to happen is a reprogramming of the mind. As a Woman your body knows inately - with the DNA imprint of millenia how to birth a baby. Your mind however doesn't.

The same often happens with breastfeeding - mum had trouble so will I... "I come from a long line of women who can't feed"...

You need to recreate your reality. The reality is you have a Womb, A Cervix, A Vagina, Pelvic Muscles - your body is made to birth. What you need is focused intent.

When the I can't happens - question that. Why do I feel that? Could the opposite be true? How would I feel if I didn't have that belief". If the opposite could also be true isn't it wiser to focus on that? The answer is yes.

Don't be hard on yourself Mel - this is something that you have had passed on to you - and many many many women have it. The thing is it doesn't need to be the same. It can be different - I truly believe heart and soul that it can be.

You need good quality care - that is loving, supportive and truly gets where you are coming from.

Many of us gestate longer than 42 weeks - losing your plug is a good sign that your body is preparing for birth. Bless your body for that! It knows Mel how to do it - this time your head has to come into line with your Hoo Haa! I was 2 weeks late with my first, on time with my second, 10 days late with my third and on time with my fourth - there often is no pattern. Believing that your mothers birthing history dictates yours sets you up for failure...

Stick up affirmations around your house - everywhere! Get some books and make them your Bible do not allow any negatives to reach your ears. Friends who goad you & say you can't do it are not being good friends. Granted not everyone has the same ideals around birth - but don't discuss your birth with anyone who will not hold your goals in the same energy that you do. Have a mantra to deflect the comments: "I don't want to discuss birthing this baby - let's talk about something else..."

Sending you loving support... :hug:

I believe it does to a degree. My parents always come to stay with us the week or so before my due date (they live 4 hours away). After a week or so of waiting around and nothing happening, my dad's had enough of the city and heads home.

Both times i have gone into labour the day after he left (both babies born 10 days over). I've always said that my babies don't want to come when poppy's here! But the more I think about it, the more I think it's ME that doesn't want to labour with my dad around because I don't think he would handle seeing me in that state. I am not comfortable to labour with him here. I remember saying to my mum last time that the baby would not come until Dad went home.

I am going to ask my mum in the nicest way possible to leave him at home this time, or ask him to leave before my due date...my own little psychological experiment if you will ;)

I believe our minds are powerful tools, and some people just don't realise how powerful.

I don't we can actually put our selfs into labour by just wishful thinking, I believe it is a lot more complex than that but I do believe we have the energy forces to make positive outcomes too.

Of cousre you will be ale to go into labour, our bodies are also very powerful..

I was 12 days over with my first labour and with my second I went over by 5 days technically arccording to my obs dates but i worked out DS would come on the 18th and he did...mind you just scrapped in as he was born 20 mins before midnight...

Good Luck, positive thinking has a lot to do with it all

I ABSOLUTELY believe that !

With DS#1 i was extremely nervous about giving birth. I was having alot of really painful pre labour/contractions and it started to freak me out. So i think my Vagina went :o then it went :sick: ! :rolleyes:
I ended up being induced and he was forceped out cause i didnt have any energy left from a huge lack of sleep from stressing. I also had an epidural.

Then when i was pregnant with DS#2 i was so busy running around after DS#1 that i didnt really think about it too much. I was very relaxed about the whole thing.
I went into labour 10 days early and had a great birth.
Show -6am
Contractions started about an hour later
Started timing contractions at roughly 3pm
Waters broke -6pm
Hospital -8pm
Delivered - 9.53pm
Obviously my body was ready but i do believe that alot of it also had to do with my relaxed state of mind.
I was very happy with how it all went ! No pain relief.

Then DS#3 - whole other story - alot of pressure to perform and in alot of pain. Went past my EDD and was induced cause i couldnt take the pain anymore.
This was the worst birth of them all. No pain relief and i didnt cope cause he was bigger than my other two and i started to panic from the pain.
Also after they broke my waters they left me for a while to see if the contractions would start. Around 3 - 4 hrs later they werent quite regular enough for their liking so they wanted to put in a drip to make them regular. I kept saying NO. Managed to stall for quite a while. Then as soon as the Midwife left the room to organise the drip, i thought "oh my goodness, i need to push". She came back in and got quite a surprise. There was no way i wanted that drip. I knew i didnt need it.

Sorry this has turned out to be so long, but i was trying to show what type of birth i had in relation to my state of mind.
Next time round, i wont let the "outside" get "inside" - IYKWIM

You go girl ! - I hope you get the birth you long for ! You can do it ! :cheer:

Yes , yes and yes, will come back to read all of the posts and write more but what I do suggest is 2 weeks before your Due date, shut yourself off from those sorts of people, dont answer your phone and just enjoy your time being pregnant, soak in the bath and think of labouring your child and keep BB switched on at all times. Spend this time with just you, DH and your kids, be a family and think of your new little one coming to join you.

We put enough pressure on ourselves that we dont need the unwanted pressure of outsiders.

Lots of :hug: to you. Rambled thoughts are always the most interesting and meaningful.

Not sure. I wasn't really thinking about it since it was 2 weeks early. Took me about 6hrs before I actually realised what was going on! Was a really easy labour and she arrived another 6 or so hours after that without a tear or graze or any pain releif.

I am a pretty laid back sort of person for the most part and usually perform my best when I am not overthinking things!

ETA: My Mum and several other females in my family had their babies early so I always thought that would happen to me. I hadn't really heard any horror stories so I wasn't stressed out at all haha.

:

---

Rambled thoughts are always the most interesting and meaningful.

---

PMSL.. thanks.. I think.. lol

Thanks everyone. Most of you know my history anyway, but for those that don't and took the time to reply (thank you!) - DS was an elective c/section, and Miss M was an "elective" :rolleyes: c/section at 42 weeks. I don't class hers as an elective cos it was either get her out or have a dead baby - so not much "choice" there.

Cassius - yup will be doing hypnobirthing this time around. I did it last time, but I think it was like a short course or something, only went for a few hours and basically covered breathing in labour - and not much else.

As Cass (ozziehoffy) has discovered today on facebook, I have a lot of "isshooes" and realy need to work them out and let them go - so thanks for the cry Cass - love ya babe xx

LOL! I think my thoughts came out pretty rambled! :ROFL:

Thoughts are better out than in. Glad there is lots of love and support here for you :hug:

YES

so much my labour died in the bum when my MIL came over(we hada HB) then once she went for a walk with DS it ROARED back and DD was born as they walked in the door.

my mind was worried about having MIl there. so it slowed it down until she left.

You know, I'd never really thought about it until you posted this thread Mel but yep I think the mind has a lot to do with going into labour. With DS I knew I was going to have an "elective" c/s at 38+4 weeks due to placenta praevia. I was freaking out the whole third trimester that he wouldn't be ready to come out then and was secretly wishing that I'd go into labour naturally. I did. My waters broke at 36+6, contractions 5 minutes apart. Laboured for 2 hours until they were ready to do the c/s. Bit earlier than expected but I think my wishful thinking paid off.

Mel - Yep I agree 100% with FC, your mind is your biggest birthing organ. I know just before I went into labour with DD1, I had mentally resigned myself to going way way overdue, and sorta just gave my body permission to do what it wanted when it wanted. I started having a show the next day...

You are a birthing machine and I truly believe that this bubba is going to come out of your vajayjay! You have some wonderful support people around you, and the right mindset. You can do this hun!

Deb, bless you. Well said! Totally agree.

Mel, like I said... anytime! I'm going to be here for you as you already know. I have some affirmations which I'll scan and email to you so you can get sticking them around. They have been on my fridge door since before Oskar was born...lol. Still there! Maybe that's saying something, maybe I'm not ready to have had my last lol. The hypnobirthing course you did doesn't sound like the full one which I really believe will help you a lot. I will get the lady's details for you asap. Love ya too honey xoxox.

Ok babe, I'm back.... :D

I have great births, so have no need to stress or worry, I love going into labour, it excites me.

But not with Kane. I cried EVERY night since his ultrasound about his cleft. From 39 weeks on, my body was ready, no doc would believe I'd be pregnant much longer!! I said to everyone how much I wanted him OUT!!! I was 3 cm dialated, fully thinned out, and he was #5!!. They couldn't understand why I wasn't going into labour.

But inside, I didn't want him yet. I was SOOOOO scared. Inside, he was still perfect, with no feeding problems, no being teased, no surgeries. I felt so horrible, but I wasn't ready to be responsible for him just yet..... :cry: Having him here was just TOO real for me....

They finally gave me an induction date, and I relaxed. I had a dead set certain time to prepare for. I KNEW when I had to be ready. I had 4 days, YAY!!

So of course that night I go into labour, and in 50 min he was here!!!! :lol::rolleyes:

And I truly believe I had willed him to stay, and my stress was a major barrier. Once it all went away, my simply gorgeous son came to a mum that was ready, relaxed, and ready to tackle anyone that picked on him!!!!:lol::lol:

:

---

definently

i also think you can put yourself in labour
:D

---

My mum has always said that she had me when she wanted to by thinking herself into labour. She knew when she wanted me to come and prepared for that mentally.

:

---

My mum has always said that she had me when she wanted to by thinking herself into labour. She knew when she wanted me to come and prepared for that mentally.

---

My Mum would agree with that.
When she was due with both my brother and myself she knew she would have us on our due dates. She would get up the morning of our EDD and get everything ready cause as she would tell my Dad " i will be having the baby today". And she did both times. She said - she just knew it !

:

---

It is my belief that your mind is your biggest birthing organ.

---

:clap: I totally agree!

Reading Ina May Gaskin's "Spiritual Midwifery" "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" and Pam England and Rob Horowitz's "Birthing from within" really helped me understand that.

I think that my mental state had a heap to do with me going into labour. My DD was due on Christmas eve and all through my pg I was definite that I did not want my baby born near Christmas, in fact I wanted her to be born as far away from that date as possible! I figured that the last date pre-christmas she could arrive was the 16 dec (I had a friend on that day and managed to celebrate her birthday without too much Christmas getting in the way!) otherwise I would be happy with anytime from New year on. So there was a no-go zone I was mentally setting up throughout my pregnancy ;). Of course, everyone told me and I certainly understood that babies can make their own minds up!

I guessed I would have DD later as first babies are often late, and besides, I was so busy trying to finish work and get ready for Christmas that I thought I can't possibly a birth in early! So in early December I was flat out organising Christmas presents to be sent to the family around the world and across the country, organising Christmas lunch etc, organising the house for DD and sorting out Maternity leave. On the 9th December I realised, its all done! I am ready! I remember getting a really calm feeling and thinking, right, we are ready for you now little one....

The next morning, we went out for brunch and I said to my DH, this is the last brunch we are going to enjoy baby free... I think today is the day I am going to go into labour. He laughed at me and dismissed it, then, at midnight that night my contractions started 10 min apart. DD was born on the 11th December, exactly 2 weeks before her EDD - definitely far enough away from Christmas!

In my case I felt my mind played a huge part!

I hope you find mental space you need for the arrival of your next LO, and I think that what you are doing with keeping details to yourself this time around is an excellent idea. It will create some safe mental space for you to be on your own clock! All the best!

Reading more of the replies here Mel and you know I actually stalled Elijah's a little a few times because I let some doubt creep in whilst in labour. Once I got myself past it and back into my zone mentally it all progressed again. Then about 1/2 an hour before he was born they were talking about if I didn't start to progress more then they'd be back to talk about the "options" (another c/s) .... I got very primal and I remember consciously thinking to myself... you HAVE to do this NOW, you CAN do this! He then passed under my pubic bone where he'd been stuck and then was born not long after... I believed the mental side before but it just got me thinking and I thought I'd share that bit with you.

Yes, I think it does.

Our DSD was living with us at the time but was due to return to the US two days before DD's due date. I'm quite a private person and the idea of going into labour with DSD around wasn't something I wanted even though I very much wanted to DSD to meet DD. It was just the idea of being in labour with someone else around other than DP IYKWIM. So I reckon I was willing DD to hold on and come a bit later. I actually went into labour about three days after DSD had left but it was really, really slow.

I actually wasn't convinced I was in active labour when we went to the hospital - I was just sick to death of approaching my third night without sleep so made DP take me, mainly for a change of scene and I was sick of watching DP get some shut-eye while I was pacing the floor (or actually rolling around on the floor alone - DD was posterior and I couldn't get comfy).

I think once I got there, I felt safe and that's when active labour really began which I know is the opposite for a lot of people - their labour slows when they get to hospital.

So yeah, the mind is a funny thing and also our best tool I believe.

100 %.

Doula's will tell you a woman who doesn't feel supported in life or during her pregnancy will often find her birth harder than a woman who has a lot of support. But the thing is too you CAN give this support to yourself if it isn't around you.

I took the pressure off myself with my VBAC. I didn't give a CRAP about when he decided to come. I think one of the biggest problems towards the end is people get impatient, and I'm not perfect. I did it with my first and I ended up with a labour that didn't progress past 3 cms. As corny and crappy as it is you need to relax. You need to NOT focus about the birth when you get to the end, you need to not worry about every second you get further away from your EDD. You had 9 months to focus on the birth you want, and plan best for that. Those last few weeks, just trust your body. And thats the biggest problem I think, is that women feel a lack of control and can't just trust that their body instinctively knows what to do.


*****TMI Alert***** Highlight to read...
Its like this (and I know this analogy has been thrown around a LOT) would you try to push a poo out even if you didn't have to go, just because you hadn't been to the toilet in 18 hours and that was way past what normally happened. No, you wouldn't. And not always do you need to reach for the laxatives either. Sometimes its just a matter of relaxing. I can tell you right now when I went camping a few months ago and we had to use a pit as a toilet I didn't poo for 3 days LOL! And even when I got home it didn't come straight away, but I didn't use laxatives and it came on its own :P Now I know pooing, and birth is different but we trust out bodies in soooooo many ways why is it we try and take over from our bodies in birth? If you trust your body, if you believe in yourself and you believe in your support (whether its your partner, your dr, your midwife or your doula) then you will be fine.

And some people like me need a little bit of help with that, which is why I did calmbirthing and affirmations. And I REPROGRAMMED myself. I was a different woman the second time around. And I birthed my son into this world after so many people said I wouldn't. And why? Because I trusted that I could. And I also did it for ME and for HIM. And I knew that at the end of the day whatever happened it wasn't because I was so stressed or freaked out.

Look up fight or flight and the effects on the uterus. Its really interesting and it makes a lot of sense.

And yes sometimes there are other things that prevent us from having a birth we would like, but at the end of the day for me I know I would rather take the mind games out of the equation :)

I've been thinking about this a bit myself this pregnancy.

With my second I had such a great labour, I said many times after that I would have 10 more if they could all be like that.

When I fell PG with DS2 however all I suffered was anxiety, the whole pregnancy. First I was worried that I would lose the pregnancy, then that there would be something wrong with him, and finally that there would be a problem with the labour.

I went overdue and that was no surprise, as the first two had been late. But for the first time I wasn't impatient, or keen to see this baby. I wanted to stay pregnant as long as possible so that I didn't have to birth him. It wasn't that I didn't want him, just that I was scared of the labour. And I had no reason to be, looking at my second labour which was so wonderful there was no logical reason for me to be so scared.

The night before I went in for induction I was having panic attacks and thoughts that 'one of us won't be coming home'. It sounds ridiculous now, I know, but I was so so scared.

So, I was induced, the labour didn't progress and he ended up being an emergency CS.

I should point out - the CTG before induction showed signs of foetal distress - they went ahead anyway - and when he was born he had the cord wrapped well around him, he was so tangled in it they said that was why the labour didn't progress - he was literally tied up.

So it may or may not be that my state of mind held me up. Maybe it did, maybe I just knew there would be a problem. And maybe it was that my fears contributed to the delay in labour...

Obviously I have been thinking about it a lot this time around... fortunately I have not had as much fear, apart from what I consider normal worries, my 'gut feeling' this time is that everything will be fine. I'm even thinking I might not go so late this time!

FWIW Mel, I think the fact that you are beginning to consider things might go differently for you this time is great! I'm going to bet they DO go differently for you...you will have a great experience :)

It's such a shame that your friends and family put all that negativity out there....WHY do people do that :rolleyes: I have had the same thing...why can't more people talk about how wonderful & empowering birth can be ...grrrr this is a vent for another time :lol:

So, wishing you all the best :hug:

YES!

DD1 - Waters broke and I freaked out, I had to be induced 16hours later as nothing happened. She was born ~ 8 hours later. It was an awful experience and I struggled for a long time.

DD2 - Induction was suggested due to GD, I was 2cm dilated from 36weeks and nothing happened. Only when Dr said they would let me go until 42 weeks did I relax and had bubs the next morning. Looking back my body was fighting my mind for the last 2 weeks. Amazing experience and recovery.

I hope you get the journey that you want. Take care and trust in yourself.

I obviously haven't been through labor, as this is my first child but from the people I've spoken to it definitely seems to make a difference.
This discussion made me think of a poem that DP has hanging by our bed, so I posted it for everyone to have a read (here)

I think that the mind does have a lot to do with it.

I am not the best example :redface: when it comes to going over due...

I was the opposite, I thought that there was a pretty high chance I would go early, the day before I went into Labour I said to MIL, well I have two goals to meet, Tuesday (2 days later) as the baby Bonus went up :redface:, then 36 weeks so I could deliver in my private hospital, then bubs could come anytime after that. I believe that subconciously I knew labour was impending.

I still hadn't packed my bags, except for a couple of things that I bought new for them, but I did have all the camera's packed, chanrged, with clean memory cards.

The next day when my waters broke @ 33 weeks I was not at all worried, more like bugger I am not packed, it is early but not dangerously early (nephew was born at the same gestation), but I had no idea that I would be holding my baby 2 1/2 hours later.

I wasn't organised, but I guess I was ready... DD not quite so ready... but chance of stopping her!

I think I will likely go early next time as well, I hoping not as early, preferably 37 weeks but gee won't I get a shock if I crack 40 weeks! :lol:

I think what is important for you is to keep your dates private to avoid some of the pressure, I would even been tempted to say I was going to be a month later ;)

But Mel, YOU CAN DO THIS, your BODY WILL DO THIS when IT IS READY, when YOU are READY.

You have a mountain of knowledge here to draw upon, and it is fabulous to see that you have already started to put things in place, start early ;)

Great thread. It has given me so much to think about. Thanks all so much for sharing and Mel for starting the conversation. Going to go and look up those books suggested and really think about calmbirthing classes. Cheers!!!

Hope DH is cool with me plastering the house with birthing affirmations!!!

OMGOSH....yes...defn. I think the mind plays a huge role in conceiving and labour itself......

Whilst all my children appeared on or there abouts on their due date, i honestly believe i was ready mentally for labour at that time.

My last labour (2 weeks ago....:lol:) i wasnt physically exhausted from my labour (only 3 hrs) but i was mentally exhausted. It took sooo much outta me preparing for the 2nd stage of labour, the transistion, and the pushing i honestly have never felt so mentally exhausted like that before....
The mind is soooo powerful. Ive said this before, but will say it again. Midwives told me in my last contraction NOT to push.....(his head was out.....) she said if you push, you will tear.:doh:. It took so much energy, focussing, and willpower NOT to push. My mind was in overdrive. It wasnt my body that prevented me from tearing....it was my mind.

YOur on the right track it seems.....GL.

quote: Doula's will tell you a woman who doesn't feel supported in life or during her pregnancy will often find her birth harder than a woman who has a lot of support

I totally agree with being supported by positive people - I totally didn't want any intervention (unless I or DD was at risk) - luckily, hubby was very supportive of these as was my mw - i was lucky enough to get a group practice mw so we had built up a great relationship and she was really aware of what i wanted. It turned out DD was posterior and after a good 20 odd hours of is it happening, is it not, I was exhasuted and decided to head to hospital earlier (all the while thinknig i just want pethadine to sleep) luckily by the time I got to the birthing centre, my lovely mw had the bath run, the aromatherpy going and I jumped in the bath and relaxed - and didn't ask for drugs at all. Because she was posterior, DD got stuck and it was a long, tiring process but even when I said I couldn't do it any longer, either DH or the mw would talk to me calmly about how i was doing so good, and then when the next urge to push would hit I would find the energy somehow and push with everything i had - even after 2 and a half hours of pushing (qhich followed a couple of hours where I had to actively stop myself from pushing).

quote: why can't more people talk about how wonderful & empowering birth can be ...

Yeah, you always hear the bad stuff!! well, DD's birth was wonderful, and it was very empowering - especially coz a few of the mw's thought I was a supermum for birthing a posterier bub with no intervention or drugs!! I remember talking to a lady about how long i was pushing for and she said "oh how barbaric" and I just said no, its what I wanted and it was fantastic! She looked at me a little oddly!!

quote: OMGOSH....yes...defn. I think the mind plays a huge role in conceiving and labour itself......

I've been thinking about this - we're ttc #2 and I keep having niggles about am I really ready, is it the right time...I don't think my mind is yet in the right head space - unlike first time round, when it happened straight away. Go away -ve thoughts!!


Anway, the point of the matter is - think positevely, surround yourself with positive and like minded people! and I think it will all work out how its meant to!

Absolutely! I hypnobirthed my daughter, last year when I was in New Zealand. When i did the hypnobirthing classes the instructor taught us all to visualise the exact birth experience that we wanted. i was way terrified of giving birth and "just knew"that i'd go over my due date. i went over by two weeks and the ob got edgey and insisted an induction. i kept trying to calm down and eventually managed to. my little girl's birth day ended up being really relaxed and calm but ihad to consciously focus on relaxing and my hypnobirth visualisations. it wasn't "exactly"like i visulised but pretty close.:dance: