We are just about to begin our assessments after completing education groups & a mountain of paperwork!
I would love to hear anything from anyone else who has been through this process?
:)
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We are just about to begin our assessments after completing education groups & a mountain of paperwork!
I would love to hear anything from anyone else who has been through this process?
:)
Hi LC
Congratulations on taking this amazing step! I have done the initial information seminars (in the ACT) for Permanent Care which is very similar to Victoria.
I haven't made an application so I can't help you on that level yet, but there was a very interesting ABC radio program this week on Permanent Care in Victoria that you may be interested in listening to.
You can download the podcast or listen online. See Permanent care - Life Matters - 18 June 2009
If you want to continue to talk about your experiences on BB I would be really interested as this is something DH and I are seriously considering and I have friends also going through similar processes.
Best of luck and I think it is a wonderful way to create a family and to provide a family to children desperately in need.
xx
My sister came to our family through foster care, later permanent care and as an adult she made it legal and is now adopted. We also had other long term foster kids who lived with us for months or years. As a kid, i loved it.
I have also looked into permanent care/adoption as an adult and found a really good book called 'Toddler Adoption:The Weaver's Craft' by Mary Hopkins Best. Some of the book is based on intercountry adoption, but i found lots that i found relevant (looking at local only). If you can't get a copy, i could send it to either of you if you are interested, but i would like it back.
good luck,
K
Thanks for the link Dusty, I am listening as I type! I am happy to share the experience here and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask :)
Kate thank you for the book recommendation :)
My little sister and her husband have just been allocated their first child and are starting the process of moving him over to their care. It is so exciting for them!! So I personally haven't been through the process but I just wanted to wish you the best of luck with your journey and I think it is an amazing thing that you and your DH are doing. I just want to wish you and your husband the best of luck and I'll be following your journey with much excitment for you.
That is awesome Dan! THanks for sharing - I think Permanent Care is going to be more common with changed approaches in some States for ongoing care for children in need. Are they looking to do PC again? How old was the child that was placed with them (if you don't mind me asking)?
They have had a little 2 year old boy placed with them. He has a few physical special needs as he was severly neglected so he is behind on all of his milestones, growth and weight. With special love (which is he is going to get more than he can handle, LOL!!) and physio he will be caught up by school age. They aren't sure how many kids they are going to try for through PC until they get this little man and have him for a while. They are quite nervous about how they are going to go, like all first time parents.
I completely agree with you about PC becoming more of an option for people. They are quite young in the eyes of adoption (both just turned 25) because apparantely they haven't been infertile for long enough or gone through fertility treatments (we knew my sister was never ever going to be able to have since she was about 10 as it is physically impossible for her to carry a child) and becuase of her medical history (had cancer twice) she is ruled out of so many countries. They gave up in the end and opted for PC after heaps of research and attending information sessions. The PC organisation welcomed them with open arms and have been absolutely amazing with them. They have supported them every step of the way and answering their hundreds and hundreds of questions. She can't speak highly enough of the team they are allocated to.
Sorry for hijacking lil-chookie.
Dan, please hi-jack away!! This is exactly what I wanted a discussion about permanent care, I can't get one happening anywhere! All the permanent care parents & others involved in someway with permanent care are hiding :)
If I could just ask a question too.......how long did they wait for placement? I have heard a range of different answers to this and most of the couples were 10 + years older than us, so I am just interested to know if a younger couple is waiting the same amount of time for a match.
We actually entered the program for a specific child (4 yr old boy) but due to the length of time processes take with the department, it does not look like this placement will be happening for us as he needs to be placed soon. He was very behind in development before entering fostercare (our family knows the foster family).......but he has really caught up. A repeat year of kinder and he will be ready for school.
While we would loooooove to welcome this little man into our home, we know there are lot's of other children waiting for placement. So we will just keep on doing what we have to do until we get there :)
LC, I think this is an amazing thing for a couple to do, and I wish you all the best with it. I hope to hear some good news from you!
I'm not sure if it makes a difference to waiting times or not but my sister lives in NSW. From memory the whole process has only taken a few months (I'm think 2 to 3) as they were rushed through. It took them a while to decide on what type of care they wanted to do. They opted for long term permament care so they weren't sure they could handle the emergency/critical care. They wanted to be able to provide stability in the kids life.
The actual process of him being switched over into their care permamently starts tomorrow (WOOHOO!!!) and he will be living with them within 4 weeks. It would have been sooner but he has to has an operation the first week of June and they want sister and BIL to have a few weeks of physio with his current short term carer so that everyone is comfortable before the full move.
There are some things which have disappointed them a little bit. Like BIL isn't allowed to bath him, they aren't allowed to bring him into their bed for morning cuddles and they aren't allowed to be called mum and dad or any forms of them. While I totally understand that these need to be in place to protect the children in placement but it's a bit sad that they all miss out on these things. This boys parents have given up all rights to him and they have no contact with him at all so he will be with my sister and BIL until he chooses to move out when he's an adult so they will be all he knows as parents.
What type of care are you and DH looking into lil_chookie??
NSW & VIc are different, their Permanent Care sounds more like long term fostering. But I am surprised at the restrictions placed on them when the little one is placed in their care permanently. Especially your BIL not being able to bath him......that breaks my heart. One of the hardest parts of going through this process (after you have accepted you will not have a baby of your own) is to be viewed as someone who will hurt a child........and to them have that continue after you have been assessed and approved......hard stuff.
It took us about 3 months to be assessed and approved as foster parents, this process we are going through now is different. It's a longer & more intense process. But at the end of it, we will be a mum & dad (and called that if that is what the child wants). I will add a link in here that explains all kinds of questions about Permanent Care for anyone that is interested (hope it is okay to post the link, I haven't been on here lately so I am not up with the rules!):
Permanent care: Adoption and Permanent Care
The first 2 years DHS will have to give approval for anything that a Guardian would, but after the Permanent Care order is passed, it will be us.
:)
I just had to pop and share. I've just seen the very first photo of my sister, BIL and their little man :leap:. They look so incredibly happy plus I'm an aunty again!!!!! I've got tears flooding everywhere, LOL!!
I honestly didn't realise how involve and indepth this process is for couples going through it. You must be so incredbly strong as I don't think I could go through it. You are amazing! I'm off to check out the website you posted.
Dan - I feel soooo happy for your sister! What a great great great day for her & your BIL. And congratualtions on being an Aunty again :)
I guess you do have to be strong to get through this process, knowing that you are going to give a little person something in life that everyone deserves but they just have not had, a family is a driving force........but I also think Infertility & Long Term IVF disappointment helps you learn ALOT about yourself & gives you strength that you need to get there.
Lil Chookie - just wanted to say congratulations on your brave step of entering the world of PC! I truly hope you get your little man because you sound like you'd be a wonderful influence on his life. My parents currently have 3 children in their permanent care and they call them mum & dad, and also have our surname as well. It's great to hear of someone young wanting to take on children - my parents are in their 60's (although you'd never know, they are 'young oldies' :)).
Congratulations to your sister Dan!
You are a wise woman hun and are going to be an amazing mum. I also think relationships that survive the infertility rollercoaster bode well for PC and adoption.:
Dan, thanks for sharing your family's news! How exciting.
LC I hope that this thread becomes a more permanent ;) discussion about PC in Australia.
As I understand it currently VIC and ACT have a similar approach to ensuring that children removed from their families are not kept in uncertain limbo for more than 2 years and that they must be placed permanently if they are not able to return to their families. I think, but hopefully someone can tell us, NSW is planning to move to this system soon.
Many people get confused between fostering and PC but PC is much more closely aligned with adoption, as children and families enter into what is hoped to be a life long relationship.
MrsCricket, that is such a heartening story about your parents hun. Thanks for sharing.
Got through nearly half of the questions for my life story over the weekend........13 pages in already. There isn't much they don't want to know, I almost have to remember what I had breakfast on October 3rd when I was 3 years old! LOL. 13 pages seems like a lot so far, but I find myself wondering if the 20 pages I think it will end up being is enough?
:)
I wrote in here a couple of days ago, but it has disappeared :doh:
Great to hear how it is going LC. I have a family member in A&PC and she reckons the life story is such a fantastic part of the process. It will be wonderful to have your story to tell your child one day. A special story you wrote just for them. Did you know that the children also have a life story that the social workers write for them that comes with them when they are put into PC? It is a very important part of them from what I understand.
Oh I thought you were being funny Lil-chookie about them wanting to know your life story. Now I understand, gee I'm slow some days. What a fantastic idea writing the story of how they came into your life. Such an amazing momento just for them. Is it also kinda a debrief for youa nd DH too?
If we have a baby up for adoption in the nursery at work we take photos of everything and write in a journal every shift for the adoptive parents to have so they can see all the firsts. We even do a mock set up of them being weighed and measured.
When we wrote our life stories for our foster care application the format was from brith until today, year by year. This was different, it had to be much more detailed. It was more about you, the people in our life, how we were parented, how we think we will parent, how this willl change our life & how you felt about many things. I finished tonight, 22 pages later. I feel happy with it, I have been honest and I am happy to talk about anything I have written.
We had a call today from the department, hurrying us along with the life stories & medical reports we recieved this week. I was quite surprised by the call and it has us thinking maybe, just maybe we still have a chance at getting the little boy we started this process for.......fingers and toes are crossed in this household!
I didn't know the children came with a lifestory, they didn't mention that in the education groups. I know that when we have been matched and the part of the process of moving a child from foster care to our home is us putting a photo book together of their new life. Their room, our house, our pets ect. I am really looking forward to doing that (taking photos is my thing :D)
Perhaps check with them LC. I know they do with adoption in Vic but I had just assumed it was the same for PC cause they look at it the same way for the child.:
You sound so great after doing your life story! That is fantastic. Must be kind of empowering in a way. I really admire you and your DH.
I hope the hurry up call is a good sign hun.
xx
Hi Lil Cookie
Thank you for this thread, its been great reading as we are in the midst of education classes for PC in Melbourne. Wishing you all the best
Maree
We've just signed up to go to an information session for PC this Tuesday. Friends of mine - also young oldies Dusty! - have been PC/fostering for almost 40 years, and they can't speak highly enough of it! Given our fertility issues, we thought we'd look into this as well.
I would much prefer PC over emergency fostering - I just don't think I could give the children back, especially knowing why they came to me in the first place. I truly applaud those couples who provide emergency care!
Does anyone know what items you need to have before they will place a child with you? We would like a child as young as possible, so obviously they're going to need somewhere to sleep - but should we go out and buy car seats and prams and high chairs yet? Or will there be a small amount of time where we know the age of the child we'll be getting, so we can prepare the appropriate items?
So many questions - I can't wait til Tuesday!
Another question: Nurse Dan, if your BIL and S can't get the child to call them mum or dad, what term do they use? Personally, I wouldn't like them to call DH and I by our first names, but I can't think what they should call us...
Just a quick update........the young boy has been placed with another family. So while we would have loved to have him with us, we are very happy that he has his forever family now.
Hi lil cookie,:
I am dying to know how it all went. Do you have a little one placed with you now? I am about to start the assessment period too now and would love to hear more about yours
Cheers, Mack
A couple of months after my last post here we began assessment for infant adoption. In May '10 we received our official approval and in Jan '11 the phone rang and our lives changed forever. We were parents of a 7 month old baby girl! She is 2 now and the most precious child ever. In April of this year we went to court and our adoption was legalised and a new birth certificate issued. The end of a long hard journey! But one I would go through again if it meant being my DD's mummy :)
Congratulations! What a great thread to read. And so special to have a happy ending!!
What a lovely story and wonderful ending.
Thanks for sharing. This gives me much hope that I am on the right path.
Thanks, Mack's