A very different wedding

As it's about time I started doing something about it..

DF and I are getting married. We are aiming for next year, but due to lack of planning I don't know (only cause I've had to focus all my time on uni this year)
But...we are going for soemthing really out there and different

This is our basic plan, but the logisitcs are what we really need to focus on, so if ppl could share their experiences and any tips etc that owuld be great, even if you say thats totally crazy and wont work, cause maybe thats what we need =P
First off I want to be married at night under a full moon. so the ceremony would have to be about 7 or 8 pm, depending on what time of year... I want a small ceremony, like just 10 ppl (mainly direct family and a select few)
But with our reception we want to have a huge open party drunken shingding that anyone can come too..
so I think the first problem is how do you tell ppl (nicely) they are invited to the reception not the wedding?
also as with the full moon dates, next year the full moons occur mid week...so we were thinking of having the ceremony midweek, then the reception on the sat (so a few days after the ceremony)
anyone had there ceremony and reception on different days?
My DF also wants to get married in a cemetery...I'm keen for the idea so we have been road tripping to find the perfect one, one with lots of couples and prefereably smaller and with people with both our names. Does anyone know the legal side? can you just pick a site and get married or do you have to get permission to use certain sites etc??

I think that would do for now! thanks so much in advance!!!!!!
(ps. i've posted this same post of a few different forums)

EDIT: with the cemetery, we are going to be very respectful...like not actually stand on peoples graves etc... but still in the grounds. (sorry if this offends anyone)

I'll get back to you on the other stuff, but re: the cemetary, you would have to ask permission of the cemetary dudes. You might have to think about another venue as I'm not sure it would be considered appropriate.

You never know, but start making phone calls NOW jic

xoxoxo

Have you thought about calling one of those ghost tours and asking them if they would cater to a small group of people for a wedding? I have seen on TV a tour in the Brissie area that went to one of the cemetary's, and there is the one that does the Rocks in Sydney as well..If you google for Ghost tours, you should find something....some of them even do hens night's i think.

You could tie a ghost theme tour in with a ghost theme fancy dress wedding celebration too :)

Nic

There are also ghost/cemetary tours in Melbourne and Beechworth.

Where do you live hun?

A girl i knew had a small ceremony then invited other people to the reception
She worded the invitation to read that N****and D**** are getting married in a private ceremony on BLAH BLAH and would love for you to help them celebrate at their reception....
something like that

She did offend quite a few family and friends with the whole event, but i think that was more to do with the fact she turned freaking crazy and rude and psychotic and demanding....(another story completely!!!) and not because of the private ceremony thing.

Good luck!

I LOVE the idea of getting married under a full moon! I have never heard of anyone doing it and while yes its crazy but its romantic crazy! and i completely understand that you just want close family and friends at the ceremony and if your other friends are really your friends they will understand that (anyways the reception is always the funnest :P) I don't know much about cemetries and what not so im no help.

Good luck! xx

Thanks for the replies guys!!!
That ghost tour thing is a good idea, might make an evening of it rather than an hour =)
We live in Canberra atm. But aren't limited by where the ceremony will be, as there won't be many people we prob could get away with traveling etc, and then have the reception even in a differnt city..

I would find out if you can get married at the war memorial. if you have had family die in the wars then you could say that you want to get married there so the spirit of your loved one is with you. might have a bit of red tape involved though.

You'll need to find a celebrant who will marry you in a cemetary as well as get the cemetary dudes to agree. I've organised security for a cemetary so I have some idea of the kind of stuff that idiots get up to at night and how much work is involved in trying to clean up the mess. I think it is very unlikely that a cemetary would let you in at night or for a wedding because their primary concern is with protecting the dignity of the grave.

We had a religious ceremony on a differant day to the reception and invited heaps less people. Then we went to the registary office to make it legal and get the paperwork almost 5 years later (about 2 weeks ago lol).

just on the small private ceremony and larger reception... i think no one has any right to be insulted on not being invited. it's not a right, that's why people put out invitations lol.

in saying that, maybe just ask people to a ''party'' and then tell them when they get there. that way you don't have the whole gift thing, some people might be insulted in terms of inviting them and "expecting'' a gift but them not being part of the good bit iykwim. (i realise you may not be expecting a gift but most people who go to wedding stuff feel compelled).

so maybe do the ceremony on the quiet and see if your photographer can get one of your pics printed up really large - have that set up at the party and perhaps get all your mates to sign it. Everyone will hopefully so surprised and excited they won't even think to be insulted they weren't invited. I think most people are pretty level headed about these things especially with the costs involved thesedays.

as for the ceremony location - hey each to their own! lol. But you will need to get clearance (check with your local council) and may have to pay a fee (that is the case if you want to use the local park usually, so i imagine this wouldn't be any different).

another consideraion is whether you are having a religious ceremony - not sure if a priest/pastor or whatever would be happy to do a ceremony ... same with celebrant, so I'd start calling now! plus you usually have to have a few meetings and often a "couples'' session so they know you are fair dinkum.

just out of curiosity... what are you wearing? traditional dress??? you don't have to answer that if you don't wish. I was just wondering, given the locaiton and the time of night...

good luck and remember - the wedding is about you and your DF. No one else. And if you do what you both want, then the two most important people in the whole shebang will be happy.

We are planning a small ceremony also with just immediate family and then a party after with everyone.
We will be getting married around 5pm with celebrant so will be a short ceremony on the beach and then dinner with family , party to follow at 8pm with friends. We are hopefully getting it videod and if goes to plan will show it on projector screen at party so guest will feel like they are apart of it.
I have been married before and did the whole big wedding thin g and i hated it, i am not a person that likes being centre of attention which is why i chose to have the ceremony as private. Good luck with yours i hope it all goes smoothly and you get what you want because after all it is you and your partners day no one else's.

I don't know if this law is still valid in England, let alone if it's ever been there in Australia, but you didn't used to be able to get married when the sun wasn't up so that you could see who you were marrying. That's the first thing I would look into.

As for invites - save you a fortune as you only need reception ones! Shouldn't be a problem, the people really close to you who will be at the ceremony will probably be the only people who know about the two different days at first: will you wear your wedding dress to the reception too? Good idea, get two days' wear out of it!

Grub17 - I'm hoping to get a medivel style dress, with a second colour. I have it in my head but havent ever seen one yet...
We just want a celebrant for the wedding. Both my partner and I have pagan type views but dont want anything too ceremonal...just someone to make it legal really. In fact my dad and brother have been considering getting their celebrent licence for a while now (independent of me) and this has sort of pushed them a bit more, but once again we dont know the finer details as to whether them being related to me would inhibit them doing it etc..
Abb34 - thankyou. Good luck with yours too!!

The cemetry idea isn't locked in, cause it does seem like way to much hassel, for us it is another huge milestone in life, and both of us believe in the circle of life and death isn't an end, just part of the natural order, so our binding our spirits comes into that...which is why we want somewhere with so much history and story as a cemetry. Seen as neither of us are christian a church just never seemed an option.
As long as I get the ceremony outdoors =)
Lady Zaidie - I never thought of that but thats a good point (about the sun not being up) and are bad one if its true =( cause I relaly really really want the moon!!
I did think about that with the dress, and laughed that I could wear it more than once.

I don't think not telling people its the reception is an option. Mainly cause I had a part one year and invited all my friends (about 30+) and didnt say it was for my bday, just a party....only 1 person came, my cousin who also happened to be my partner at the times best mate... peoples excuses later were if i told them it was for a special occassion like my bday they would have come....so i'm not risking giong through that pain again! ppl are going to know its my reception and they HAVE to come =P

My parents had an evening wedding in the 60's (in the UK) so I'm pretty sure that the time won't be an obstacle.

GL with the plans!

DH and I eloped last year and had a 'reception' dinner a month later with friends & family. One reason for eloping was the sense that some people believed they had a right to be involved and invited. They don't. Do WHATEVER makes you both happy because you're the ones who are marrying. And remember, you're the ones who have a marriage ahead of you!

As for the cemetary, I think it would be ok but I agree that you'll need to check the redtape. Technically you can get married in a toilet cubicle as long as you, your DF, celebrant and 2 witnesses can fit - and arguably you wouldn't need to ask permission for the cemetary as long as you didn't get caught (but that's perhaps a bit disrespectful, and you could be in trouble for trespass).

All the best - make sure you have fun!

I have friends who got married at midnight in a public garden, then their reception was a breakfast the following day. SO cool. She wore a white and black dress, and it looked amazing in the moonlight. So it can be done.
If you can't get a cemetery, I'm sure you could get a park next to a cemetery, go in to the cem for photos after - it's amazing what you get away with in a wedding dress ;)

Good luck, sounds fab.

I myself would totally understand someone wanting to get married in a cemetery especially if there family &/or friends have passed on & especially if most were now in a cemetery & in the same cemetery if that.

I went to a Wedding at ** 6am ** on a freezing cold morning on the end of the pier at St.Kilda beach in Melb ... Yep, a bunch of strangers huddled together trying so badly to get warm & yet everyone was beaming with excitement & joy to witness this much loved couple married ... Not a dry eye on that pier that morning, was a beautiful ceremony ;)

I was married by my great uncle (a priest) who has also married his nieces and other family members. Another friend was married by her father, a minister. So good thing to check, but one of your relatives are probably ok to marry you two if you want.

I forgot to mention before that there are Ghost and Cemetery Tours in Ballarat too ;)

What a different idea!

A girlfriend of mine had her wedding photos done in a cemetery as she loved the gardens, however, it was during the day (11am) and she did have to get permission from the cemetery ppls. - i guess the only difficult thing would be the fact that you say the wedding would be around 7-8pm, from what i know, most cemetery's close at 5.30-6pm....but i guess you just have to enquire and see what's out there

Goodluck! :)

sounds awesome hun!

our wedding was last september.... and the reception is going to be this november lol!!!

only immediate family were at the weddng - but everyone is invited to the party

i LOVE the graveyard/full moon idea, i hope you can pull it off!!!

Wow, I love the whole concept!! It's something I would have LOVED to do myself, but DH thinks I'm a total dork for being all into cemeteries and darkness and all that stuff heheh :) Plus our cemetery here is right on the main road through town (so not very conducive to a peaceful, quiet ceremony) and, well, it's ugly :(

Just wanted to pop in and say I really hope you can pull this one off, I would love to see photos!! :D Keep us updated on how it all goes!

Frineds are getting married at the observatory (sp) so thats another option especially if the moon has special significance for you, although maybe a bit too traditional?

I dont see the problem with having a small private ceremony and big celebration. My Unlce is a celebrant and he has just married a couple at a quiet private ceremony in an old cinema. The ceremony was recorded, the film was edited and then the guests were invited to the cinema to view the wedding film on the big screen, they all got drinks and popcorn and I think ****tails after. You could film the ceremony and show it to people at the reception if you think your friends and family would like it

Sounds like you are planning a really fun and diferent wedding, another one here who would love to see photos once you have tied the knot. Good luck with the planning

Well it is going to happen people!!
We have a date, and a celebrant who is excited and happy to make it happen for us!!!

=) will keep posted on how it goes =)

*excited*

I would invite ppl to your reception without actually stating it is a wedding reception, just state it is a big party, try and elude there will be a big surprise, make it sound elusive and excieting, state a strict commencement time then make a grand entrance and annoucement.

Hopefully ppl will be having too much fun to care that they didn't see the ceremony. Anyway it is your wedding, so don't let other ppls values override what you want.

Can't help with the cemetary thing, unless you have thought about finding an old church ground. I know of a lovley small old church in the Swan Valley in WA.

I love shooting weddings at the World Trade and Convention Center in Halifax. It’s a giant playground with mirrors and ceiling and elevators along with a perfect little nook to set up for the Crazy Booth Experience. It's a very different wedding. WOW!!! I love this wedding.

After reading a lot about traditional weddings, I'm very surprised that this world has so many wonderful, unique and interesting customs for this special event. Even though you celebrate many kind of celebrations, that doesn't give you guarantee that you'll have a long and happy marriage. That's why first you will go through this memory day. :doh:

Opening this up again, because IT IS HAPPENING!!! =)
We are getting married 30 March, in a cemetery at 9pm under the full moon =)
Our reception is a few days later which is a big casual party =)
I'm so excited. hehe
I can't wait to it to actually happen, I just want it to be now, planing etc.. is making the wait so long!!!
=)