When will she settle earlier?

I don't know how to break this pattern we've gotten ourselves into. I have just been following Phoebe's lead, but she wants to be awake a lot later than I do.
I know she is tired, but she just won't settle for the night til after 10. Tonight she won't feed properly (keeps getting agitated at the breast) and when I rock her to settle her she goes rigid and cries. I put her down because I just couldn't handle it and she is quite happily lying there, kicking away.
I am so trashed. I need to be in bed earlier. I wouldn't mind waking up after only an hour or two to feed her and then again later on. I just need that extra hour.
I seem to recall Natty being similar in the beginning - not wanting to settle before 9pm. But I can't remember how old she was when she started going down earlier.
Anyone shed some light for me?

Hey Amy, I can't really help, just wanted to send some :hug: your way. I'm having the same trouble myself. It's 10:45 and Ivy is happily dancing away in her bed and it's only a matter of time before she gets grumpy and will want to be picked up... but will remain wide awake, often until 12:30 or 1. AARRGGHH!! Hope it shifts soon for you hun. Am really interested to hear other people's thoughts.

More hugs...I know the feeling all too well! Normally Hayley won't sleep at all between her 9pm and midnight/1am feeds...put her in her cot and she just cries. She will drift off in my arms but as soon as she gets put down she is wide awake again. I've just popped her in her bassinette and remarkably she has stayed asleep for at least 10 minutes now! I'll see if I can have a quick snooze on the lounge before she wakes up.

I would love to know how to break her out of this routine too...DF & I have popped her in bed with us a couple of times and she'll sometimes drift off to sleep then but I don't want to make that a habit.

Aw, girls. I feel like I haven't got it so bad now, lol.
Kat: Hugs to you too. I don't think I'd cope being awake til after midnight. Does Ivy let you sleep in in the morning?
SS: Congrats on the birth of Hayley! Wish I could help you out. I hope this is just Hayley working out the difference between night and day - you might find that her rhythm just changes by itself over the next couple of weeks... :crossfingers:
I think she's ready to settle now... Finally. Thanks for the hugs and the understanding, girls. :hug:

See what time I'm posting?
I'm still waiting....hope you get some relief before me.....

i hear you gals as well
boof has just gone down now as well- hopefully for at least a few hours!
lol our babies are allready keeping nightclub hours!LOL

It does get better- i think lol

Agh, and apparently 4 hours' sleep is all we need, folks. Quick drink then ready to party again.

Just wondering where you are feeding her? Is it light and bright and stimulating or dark and quiet? I know with DS keeping it dark and quiet and keeping him wrapped at night feeds helped to give him the message it was 'big' sleep time and not just a nap.

I do remember though that many babes go through a very unsettled phase at about 6 weeks. Could your partner take turns staying up with her for a few hours while you get a bit of sleep in before the 10 pm feed?

do you have a night time routine??
until 3 weeks DD2 settled whenever but one night at 3 weeks she woke in time to have a bath when DD1 did and so started our night routine, from that night on she went down just after DD1 did, around 6.45pm, she knows this means sleep time now, maybe try a wind down routine an slowly bring the time back earlier each night :hug: sleep deprivation is awful, HTH

Thanks for those thoughts. Macca, I am feeding her in our lounge room. I do keep it dark for middle of the night feeds, and when I'm trying to settle her for the night, but perhaps I should start this earlier. When Natty goes to bed she is still up with us and the lights and telly are on. I should probably keep her where it is quieter.
We don't really have a bedtime routine, the bath sometimes happens and sometimes not. DH is rarely home at Natty's bathtime due to not finishing work til 6pm or later most nights. I can't bath both girls at once, so Phoebe gets a proper bath on the nights when DH is home and a little bird bath on the nappy change table while Natty has her yoghurt when I'm on my own with them.
I am feeling ok about things again this morning, but things seem a lot brighter in the day time, LOL!
Thanks again for the support everyone.

You sound like you're doing really well Amy! I have no doubt that things will get easier for you, hopefully soon :D. I know how hard it is when dad isn't home for the dinner/bath/bedtime routine, and we only have one child!

Hang in there hun :hug:

We just went with the flow with ds and he was a night owl too. He wouldnt settle for the night till between 10-11pm either. I used to go to bed after the 8:30pm feed and dh stayed up with him until the next feed then he would go to slepp and stay asleep.
This lasted until around 3 months when i decided that we needed to establish a stricter routine. It took about 2-3 weeks for ds to get used to our new routine and for me to gradually bring his bedtime earlier and earlier as i didnt just want to all of a sudden put him to bed 3 hours earlier than usual and expect him to comply :)

Thanks Janie - you're lovely :) Fortunately DH is usually home most nights by the time Natty needs to go to bed, so I have help then. It's just bathtime that's particularly tricky!
Thank you Kristy - I have heard that 12 weeks is a good time to start establishing stronger routines. I'm not sure how I'll manage with a toddler in tow, but I might just chill out for another month or so and tackle it then.

Hi Ladies, hugs to you all with night owl babes ...DS was really bad from 6 weeks to about three months - with this wakefullness was also lots and lots of crying, he didn't know what he wanted couldn't decide if he was tired or hungry, etc......so lots of walking around for me trying to keep him happy - tried giving him a bath to relax him, feeding him in the dark and quiet....but it did get better slowly and surely but I hate to say that still at 7 months he usually doesn't go down till about 9 pm - but that is probably me not getting him into a proper bedtime routine - need to work a bit harder on this. It DOES get better.......hang in there.

Laurin x

Our magic age was 10 weeks. Hang in there ladies. I don't think there is really anything you can do routine wise except to just be semi consistent. we kept the "bedtime" feed quiet and I always put her pj's on. Then DH would stay up until 10pm while I got a rest in after the 7pm feed. Tag team dinners were very common too. They eventually sort themselves out. All the hard work is worth it. DD2 is now four months old and life is really great now (even with some night time wake ups!!) compared to the first months. Tough times!! Hugs to you all xx

No expert here...got my own bag full of probs, but just wanted to let you know what we do - our babies are virtually the same age...
Harry goes to bed 730-8pm. We put our other children in bed at 7pm, then i head out to the lounge room, with H. Lamps off, just tele on (not too loud), and i put H on breast - both sides. He falls asleep and i usually get 4 hrs out of him till the next feed....sometimes its been 5 hrs....i think this works for him because a) its quiet....no little sisters running around screaming....and also, i try not and let him sleep past 530pm....it can be reallllly hard (especially bathing, and cooking dinner all in this time...), sometimes i let him catnap in the rocker out in the dining room, so its not a full deep sleep. It seems to work for us.....

Good luck....

Both my kids wouldn't go down for the night before 10/11pm until at least 4/5mths. It got better after that, and now they both go happily (mostly!) to bed at 7pm (aged 2 and 10mths). Takes ages though doesn't it?! They usually say "the first 12 weeks" but I think the whole first 6 months are the worst for unsettledness at night, unless you are lucky.

Amy - Bailey started a 'decent' bedtime (anywhere between 630-830) at around 9-10 weeks I think it was, so hang in there. I dont recall really doing anything different, he just kinda worked it out for himself so now I am actively looking for the tired signs and rocking him till he is 'almost' asleep and letting him go to sleep in his cot which he usually does within 10 mins. One thing that helps us though is this star projecter thing which plays lullabys, when Bailey hears it, it always stops him faffing about and he is asleep by the time it turns itself off (can go for 5 or 10 mins). Its about $20 from Big W. When I put him back to bed after a middle of the night feed and he doens't go back to sleep straight away I play it too, it works a treat (for him anyway). Is there something like that you can associate sleep time with for Phoebs?

Hugs mate, I know you have been sleep deprived for a while, if I lived in Sydney I'd come and give ya a night off (between feeds that is LOL)

PS having said all he above, tonight he is bucking the trend and is still awake as had a mammoth afternoon nap - LOL, nothings foolproof!!

Naomi
x

Well, she was in bed fast asleep from 7pm last night (slept til 2:30!)... but only because she hardly slept AT ALL during the day. Was completely miserable, poor darlin. I didn't look a gift horse in the mouth though - I was in bed at 8. LOL!

That is such a good sleep she had there....heres hoping she does the same tonight. !!!!

mbear - I actually did your trick, based on her performance yesterday. I kept her awake after 5 (she had a tiny catnap in DH's arms til he put her down so we could have dinner) then later she had a lovely big feed while DH and I watched telly in the dark, LOL! She has gone to bed and I've had my shower - looks like she is out for the count. Hooray! I'm going to bed now, I reckon ;)
Thank you everyone again for your suggestions. I have a few tricks up my sleeve now. Don't know what I'd do without BB. :grouphug:

wonderful news! its great to have a few different things to try, hope she keeps it up and you get some much needed sleep :)