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So what!! Since when is this not a legitimate need!!!!!!!!!
I'm so sick of these kind of comments when DD cries for me or even just calls out for me. People say:
'She just wants your attention' or
'She just wants to be picked up'
or if they ask how much she feeds at night I get 'Oh that's just for comfort that is'
Ok, all of these things might be true but so what!! Since when is a little baby wanting comfort not ok?? Grr....ok got that off my chest, LOL.
hear hear!
Yep I agree!!
Tell em to go jump and do what you think is best for your little girl!
hehehe i'm a biatch with this one - someone said it to me the other day
i turned around and said "yeah, and when you open your mouth, you want my attention too - so what's the difference"
wonder if she'll make such a dumbass comment again...?
oh BG you make me laugh lol
so true though
they are a baby they cant express what they need, that persons guess about whta they need is no where near as good at the motehrs guess and some days thats all it is a guess and hope for the best lol
Awww and she's such a gorgeous little baby too - why wouldn't you want to pay her attention!!!!
You're doing a wonderful job there mate, just tell them to stick their opinions up their clackers.
I totally agree!
Often I get "oh shes just upset cos shes not with her mum" if someone else is holding her and shes crying - like its not a legitimate reason to be upset!
eta - :rofl: @ mel's clacker comment!!
Classic.:
I can't believe people say such stupid stuff.... we were all babies once!!!!! The stupidity of people.... well derrrrrr they are babies they NEED us for EVERYTHING!!!!!!
Just ignore idiots who say that.
pmsl BG
aww... thanks Mel
HA!!!! Well said.!!:
I used to sit with Daniel and hold him while he slept. I'd do that for hours and just watch some tele I'd taped (Law and Order or something like that). "Someone" found out I was doing it and said, "You'll have to nip that in the bud. He's just looking for attention." Errrrrrrr............ yeah. He's three months old. As soon as he's born I'm supposed to cut the connection?
He's 2 1/2 now and still looks for attention - a hug, a kiss and I love it. He sleeps in his own bed and is perfectly adjusted. People are just moronic, I'm sure of it.
My unborn son also seeks attention - he kicks me in the ribs on a constant basis. Should I nip that in the bud too??
Just people who don't have time for their children and aren't willing to cuddle them just for the sake of it. Like it's a crime and you're creating a monster if you do.
Of course she wants your attention, that's why she's crying! What is she supposed to do, politely ask? These sorts of comments always irritate me - it's as if people think that once the baby is born you are not supposed to have anything more to do with him or her. Ok I nourished you for 9 months and birthed you, now you are on your own. You are not allowed to cry for my attention or expect to be fed when you are hungry, but only when I feel it is convenient for me, good luck with that! But when you are older and I want a relationship with you, I will wonder why you never come to me and why we are not close. I will wonder why you never want cuddles or kisses.
Sing it sister.
:rolleyes: What do these type of people want you to do?! Put baby in a corner by herself and let her scream. Not a chance buddy!
Same here! Bubs been home for a week now and DP and i have barely put him down once! I think it's when their little that kids need the most attention and cuddles. It teaches them to be all warm and cuddly. hehe
I'll have to remember that for next time. :lol::
Yep I hate it too. Plus I get comments that my DD is too clingy and she needs to learn to get over it?!?! Arghhh.. so annoying.
mmmm some people need to have their heads read!!! When my babies cry, I see what they need, if they need/want picking up then I do that! Both my youngest have slept in bed with me after early morning feed and people comment on that.... however the biggest one I get is when am I sending Oskar to his own room.... WELL WHEN WE ARE ALL READY! He sleeps in his bed (cot) next to me and Elijah in his (hammock) at the end of Oskar's....lol all cosy but I wouldn't change it for anything, well other than being ready.
Tell them to stick it, she's still a baby for crying out loud!
BG :rofl: LOVE IT!
I wouldn't normally have commented in a thread like this as I'd just be repeating everyone else :) but I used to be embarrassed if I got the same comments as I know my children are clingy but just today a gorgeous friend of mine lent me a book and it's completely reassured me that a clingy child is not abnormal and it's how they are nurtured and handled as to how clingy they remain and for how long. Telling them to get over it is NOT an option!!:
Yep I hate it too. Plus I get comments that my DD is too clingy and she needs to learn to get over it?!?! Arghhh.. so annoying.
My 2 year old will still call out sometimes (so cute), "Excusame mummy" :D I go in and she just smiles at me! I interpret this as she is fine but loves her mummy so much she just wants to look at her smile one more time before falling asleep :heartbeat:
Well that's just my interpretation ;) hehe
Oh I'm already getting 'when are you going to move her into her own room?' I just moved her out of the basinette and into the cot but I'm not ready for her to be in her own room so we moved the cot into ours and I got 'ugh...for goodness sake...she needs to learn to sleep in her own room you know' umm...no I don't know, we will sleep wherever we want to sleep thanks!!
And I once got from a friend 'you can't let her take over your life' when she was like 2 wks old!! Umm...ok, if I didn't want things to change I wouldn't have had a baby!!
There's evidence based research out there, that proves that the more you look after your babies needs and meet them asap and give them lots of cuddles etc... they will more likely grow up into independent, confident children and adults. So these people that make these stupid comments have not read enough ;)
Sara - i can't believe your friend said that to you when Grace was just 2wks old.... ummm heeelllooo???? :lol: I hope she doesnt' have any kids soon... if ever! lol Poor kid!!!
Completely agree with everything that has been said
DEEEERRRRRR! Isn't that obvious? Of course she wants my attention! And I give it to her too, because babies CAN'T TALK!!
I tell people that my DD sleeps through the night, is a very good baby, blah blah blah what they want to hear.
She DOES she through the night.....in between the feeds that occur every 3 or 4 hours and she IS a good baby for most of the time so its not all lies! :) And it keeps people off my back, since I'm obviously doing everything right they can't give me any helpful advice. ;)
Yes, these types of comments make my blood boil too! My mother is a great one for saying it... she says it nearly every phone conversation... infact she's been saying it for the past 14 years! :wall:
I find that people who say things like this are actually quite embittered. Interesting. It's like they want the world to be just as sad as they are... like no one has the right to anything better than they got :( :( :(
She is a baby
You are her Mum
Of course she wants/needs your attention.
It's not rocket science.
If it makes you feel any better DS needed to be held all the time, fed through the night until almost 12 months old. I used to call him velcro boy because he was always attached to me. Now, almost two, you wouldn't meet a more confident, friendly, adventurous and outgoing little lad.
BG: LMAO, what a classic retort.
"nobody puts baby in the corner....":
sorry couldnt help myself quote dirty dancing when i saw that lol
LMAO - I started to type the same thing and realised you and I must both be tragic Dirty Dancing Fans Kawazuki!!:
Winter I do EXACTLY the same when asked about DS's sleeping habits - why are babies judges being good based on whether they sleep through the night? Sure I'd LOVE him to sleep through the night but I certainly dont consider him a bad or naughty baby:
My stoooooooooooopid MIL told me on my first Mothers Day that I was 'spoiling' my baby by giving him too many cuddles (AS IF!!), the only thing she achieved by that statement is that I am now very unwilling to hand him to HER for cuddles - after all MIL-dearest, we dont want to spoil him do we?
OMG i am so over being told that we are "making a rod for our own backs". I am at a point now where i just want to scream at the top of my lungs at the next person who tells me this! My two beautiful girls are "mine" (to quote my two year old) they are my/our responsibility at two am and i figure that gives me/us the only right to decide what we do and when we do it! Yes i want the whole world to know that i sleep with my youngest and DH sleeps on a mattress beside DD1's bed. We give our girls our full attention as much as we can.
Good on you for doing what you believe and stick to your guns there is research out there to support what you are doing and it is about time that parents like you got recognised for the time effort and love you put into your children.
A big hug and pat on the back to you!
:hug: hun do what is right for YOU and YOUR BABY!!!!! And then just lie to whoever asks! I started doing that and people stopped asking and i wouldnt get so worked up and try to change their minds!
Its so tough when your a mum! But your a great mum I have seen it and she is soo happpy! I would rather a happy baby that is cuddled loved and gets lots of attention than one that is sad cause mummy is so strict and doesnt giev it love :()
Keep it up hun your doing a fabulous job!!!!! :clap: xxx
I was told by a midwife in hospital, the day after my DS was born, that the reason he was unsettled was because he was being held too much and I should put him in the crib and leave him alone. He wasn't even 24 hours old!! Yep, it was our fault he was unsettled, nothing to do with the fact that only a few hours before he was still snug and warm inside me and had been evicted two weeks early when he wasn't quite ready, because I had PE.:
I do hate this myself.
Next person who tells me I shouldnt cuddle my kids because they are just doing it for this and that had better back it up with some scientific evidence that newborns have the same conceptual understanding and reasoning skills that we do.
Then they can try and explain how they got it wrong 7 times with my mum. Seriously though - all she created was seven happy adults - and they are all very close as well. If by doing it this way I am also making my children as close and supportive as my siblings, then its worth all my time.
Oh it's all been said... but I have to add my 2c as this drives me craaaaazy too.
The question I keep getting (similar to your Naomi), is 'is she good?'. What does that mean?? Yes, she's my baby and she's perfect in my eyes. Even after a day of being unsettled and crying and windy... she's 'good'. Amazing and sweet and beautiful (and really cute, even when grouchy!). Honestly, what kind of response is expected to such a question?!!!
i must be very sarcastic cos i have been asked this question and had to bite my tongue to not reply (was an old lady and i just didn't want to go there!) - my first thought though was "yeah, she's mostly good - but i did find her trying to set the cat on fire yesterday...":
they're BABIES - they cry cos they have no other form of communication! they don't know how to misbehave! grrrr
BG - comedy GOLD - LMAO :ROFL::
ahh BG your a classic! LMAO:
and Naomi serves ur MIL right for telling you your spoiling him... If she truly believes that then she had best, do her best to redress the "wrong" your doing by not holding him herself!
When I was in hospital after having Tom, he was a bit unsettled on day two, as they are when your milk is beginning to come in. He was on the boob constantly. One of the midwives came in and told me off for putting him on the breast "again".
"Well obviously that's not working to settle him," she said. "You'll have to try something different. You won't be able to sit at home and feed him for hours, you've got other children to look after."
Fortunately I was able to just raise an eyebrow at her and go on feeding him, and I *do* sit at home and feed him for hours. Some afternoons I go to bed just after lunch and don't get up until the kids get home from school. Some weekends, I spend nearly all day in bed, feeding and cuddling him, and the kids join me. We're all happy. Baby's happy (and very fat LOL). Imagine if I were a first time mother who heard that "advice"?
I hate the way we make little babies into adversaries in this society, something to be tamed and dominated and trained. They are little people, we're entrusted with their care, and the reason it hurts our hearts to not meet their needs is because it goes against our very nature. It's not indulgent to indulge your baby - it's just human instinct and it's worked for hundreds of thousands of years.
:) well said!! :clap::
just wanted to add my 2c worth, i have a friend whos just had a baby 3 weeks ago and was complaining to me the other day how he cries all the time and how she has just had to leave him to cry cause hes just trying to get her attention and she has other things to do (house work etc) this really upsets me....of course he is trying to get your attention, hes a tiny baby!! i swear my house didnt get cleaned properly for weeks when dd was new born!
I breast feed dd to sleep, come to her ever call, co-sleep when she wants to and i dont care who knows it!! we have the BEST and CLOSEST bond, the hugs and kisses i get far out weigh the stupid comments i get from people about how bad all that is! what do they know. :)