'Too many' toys vs 'not enough'

How many toys do you let your kids have? Is there too many? Is there not enough? What are your thoughts?

My DH has a very strong thing about not trying to give DS too many toys so that he appreciates what he has and does not grow up thinking things are disposable. I agree with him up to a point- I try to opt-out of consumer culture a bit and I want DS to learn to use his imagination with things and find lots of ways to play with them, rather than just burn through one toy after another.

And yet, it seems pretty clear to me that he is just plain bored with some of his toys. I try to rotate them so they are "new" again and I play with him, but he just doesn't seem to get much from a lot of his old toys anymore (and they are not really "old"). When he gets something new he is so fascinated and you can see his little brain just start ticking. He gets so much enjoyment from new things, which of course I hugely enjoy, so I keep wanting to get him new things!

I have friends who's whole houses are taken over by astonishing amounts of toys and I don't want that. And yet, I want to make sure DS learns and grows and enjoys too. Its a line I constantly try to balance.

I am just interested in what others think of this topic. I imagine the 'line' will be different for everyone, but I would like to hear about others philosophies.

I know Georgia is only 7months but from the start Dh and I agreed that we didnt want her growing up thinking that toys came all year round. SIL kids have everything and have no appreciation they have 17 bikes of all sorts and they are only 2 and 3.
Its hard when family keep buying them all the time for her - so I do what you do and I rotate them to keep it interesting. i have also requested educational toys for xmas and birthdays. in saying that though, I have usually brought Georgia toys that are up to her development stage so she had a play mat for a long time which taught her some many important things from a newborn but now she has outgrown that so she now has an activity table because she loves to stand . The odd toys that she has had the most fun out of are funnily enough a coke bottle filled with rice and ping pong balls - I believe the ping pong balls helped her crawl as they would roll away and she would follow them.
I have a huge list of activities to do with kids that is really good for all ages and mostly things that you can do for free or at a low cost. I stumbled across it googling something one day.
PM me if you are interested in a copy.
Sal

Our house is over run by toys. They accumulate with each child you have...specially if you can't throw them out when broke coz they cost you so much!!
I have to do a serious vinnies/tip run with some of them! One day, lol. My kids aren't that spoilt really, just 7 years worth of b'days, christmasses & cheap crap on the odd accasion.
If it was my vote though...I'd go with not enough! I'm so over picking them up!!!
There is a bonus to toys though...the learning & exploration. I believe, to an extent kids do need them. Cheap crap is just that, but if I'm spending decent money it is only on something that will be educational etc. Except bikes & scooters. They have one each, but they are just as good for fitness etc!

You could think about joining a toy library. That way he would get "new" toys each fortnight to be interested in and you have the choice of what he gets which will be age and stage appropriate. Depending on the library they have toys like ride ons, puzzles, dress ups, cars, trucks, pretend play, slides, heaps of stuff. That way they go back each fortnight and don't clutter up your house. You then get an idea of what they really like playing with so come Christmas and birthdays you can buy something special that they will use and get to keep.

Doesn't answer the question about philosophies on consumer culture as the toys are still coming and going but an idea to keep the stimulation and interest aspect of toys fresh.

Not sure if I'm off the mark here, but with all the toys DD has that cost us many $$$ - she is more entertained with something basic around the house, like a wooden spoon, clothes pegs and a colinder. ;)

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Not sure if I'm off the mark here, but with all the toys DD has that cost us many $$$ - she is more entertained with something basic around the house, like a wooden spoon, clothes pegs and a colinder. ;)

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Oh yeah, we're low tech solutions here - we made a cubby house out of the box from our new washing machine. DS loves it.

Our kids never had many toys as we couldn't afford them. They used to get hand me downs which they loved.
One of the best "toys" they had when they were young was a large box which we cut out a door and windows. The door & windows could close if they wanted to. Even though we had a small house I would do it again as they had hours of fun and it kept the house cleaner as their toys were in their cubby.
When they got older we bought a cubby that you put up and down as required, again they had hours of fun.
I have found that sometimes the smallest thing turn out to be great play toys, eg. wrapping paper, the bow from a present, the box in which the toy came in.

With my anthropological and psychological bent (my two main areas of uni study), I had appreciated pretty early on that kids in other cultures don't have toys and they grow up intelligent (whatever that is relative to what the culture values!) and developmentally sound, using adult/every day normal things and learning how to use them. DS's first lot of toys came with his first birthday. When asked I said I wanted wooden toys or musical sorts of things. Most people adhered to that so that we only got a smattering of plastics, most of which didn't last and the ones that have we've got great mileage out of!
Predominantly for the useless presents factor I decided against have subsequent parties, other than family gatherings for DS's birthdays and that's kept the toy count down quite a bit.
I got rid of a lot of the toys that are more for babies that were taking up room (op shops or the bin if they were damaged). Christmas he gets things from my mum that I wouldn't otherwise get - but who's going to knock back a large pedal car?! It's an outside toy because our house is too small, so it's great when his toys take him outside and away from his DVD's.
Before DS was born we swore we wouldn't end up like the many households we knew where there were tote bins upon tote bins of toys that mostly didn't get played with, only fought over when visitor kids arrived and wanted to play with them :rolleyes:
DS is 3 now and I can take him to Toys R Us (to look for a car seat, mind you!), have him walk past all the toys, pick them up and say "it's mine" only to have me say "no, that's not yours, it's ok" and him respond "ok, mummy"...!! Because I never got into the habit of getting him toys (not even the 'educational' ones) and the house isn't full of them. It's only this year he's realised that presents are for HIM, too - he seems to prefer giving them than getting them.
Kids can learn and grow (and have done for centuries!) without Fisher Price ;) One of the best toys DS used in babyhood was the Tupperware Shape-O - it worked his brain really hard, even when he didn't know about shapes and would watch me put them in the holes.
If you want to, you can KISS (keep it simple), even in the face of friends' kids who have EVERYTHING. It seems harsh for a while and I questioned my hard line a little bit from time to time, but it's really paid off. DS will play at other kids' houses with their toys and I don't have too many problems separating him from them at home time. It helps that he's distractable!
I was also influenced quite a bit by my foray into Montessori research (when thinking about playgroup and school), where kids learn by using true-to-life implements (whether it be musical instruments, kitchen things, gardening implements etc) and explore their creativity and intelligence that way. It made me think quite a bit about all these miniaturised, cartoonised, babified whiz-bangs that are sold as important to development (thinking of Fisher Price again!) and that they are really not necessary. That's when I decided not to even join the toy library to borrow them.
You'll find your own direction based on your own values, so I'm not being prescriptive, just going through how I thought it out and executed my thoughts. For me it was easier still because I have a horse and that was great to take DS to in a sling (when he was carriable!), as well as the fire brigade - real life interesting stuff that toys can't replicate. Again, this is based on my own personal circumstances and helped take the focus and dependency on learning off toys and into the real world domain. This may or may not resonate with you.
Good luck - it's a real minefield, isn't it??

DS has very few toys.. and is extremely content! When we visit friends whose homes resemble toysrus stores he doesn't even look twice at the big budget brand stuff.

He loves to role play already - I love to cook and do it often so when I am cooking I will give him his own bowl with a whisk, masher or tongs and he will happily sit on the floor and 'cook' too. He rather enjoys cleaning (will hold onto this for as long as a I can I am certain once the teenage years hit it will all change) and I bought a second mop for him, he imitates me perfectly! Sounding a little like child labour HAHA Did I mention he will wipe down the cupboards with a papertowel while I do the bench tops :rofl:

His sandpit is the favourite place to be - he has a set of blocks in there and will build and knock down towers for the good part of an hour! He is very inquisitive and whenever DP is home tinkering with something, you'll find DS holding onto a screwdriver doing his best to 'fix' things too! Oh another goodie is using a paint brush with water on the cement, he will 'paint' and watches in amazement as it drys and disappears than does it over and over and over again. We have also been doing some jumbo chalk 'drawing' but he tends to eat it more than draw with it EEWW!

There was an interesting show on SBS on Thursday (I think) called "Consuming Kids: The Commercialisation Of Childhood". It was largely American based. The amount of money spent by/for children was in the several hundreds of billions EEKK


MAYANESS - I am picking up what you are putting down, you took the words right out of my mouth and wrote them down so eliquently! We heart the Tupperware Shape-O in our household!

DD has an abundance of toys due to mummy's shopping addiction. However, she usually plays with them for like 5 mins and then goes back to her old toys.

She is 16mths but since she was little her fav has been touch and feel books, pop up books and flash cards and she loves her play dough and crayons and her musical instructions such as maccaras (one which i made myself with a plastic bottle and some coloured rice).

Best of all she LOVESSS going to the park on a swing (even though she has an indoor swing)

love the tupperware shape-o 2 have to get one when i can afford it ds only has a few toys 3 of which we have bought him and others that were hand me downs thanx to a BB member ;) and thats all coz i really dont see the point when hes just gonna play with the empty formula tins and boxes we keep for when he's older

My DD doesnt have a huge amount of toys, but she has more than enough to keep her going. That being said, she rarely plays with them. Instead she keeps herself busy copying & helping me, she loves simple things like passing me the washing while I hang it out, putting clothes away (although they go in the wrong drawers but I wouldnt spoil her fun), sweeping the floor. Yes a domestic goddess at two. But I think alot of kids are into this kind of play, simply due to copying parents. Other than that she adores her dolls & accessories & books, but as for plastic toys, they go virtually untouched. So no you do not need to go o/board with toys, they just end up clogging your house up imo. Not to mention the money spent. At the end of the day, kids need love & shelter.

Also may I add, when we went to Penang last year, I came home & looked at DD's pile of toys & her full wardrobe, & felt incredible guilt. She is SO lucky. We are SO lucky in Australia. Just give your child love, its all they need.

I can't say Oskar has lots of toys, but doesn't have only a few either. When I say that though they are more groups of toys... lots of matchbox cars and a train set so it FEELS like heaps when I stand on them grrr lol. He has a few larger items, little kitchen, little tykes car, quad bike and for his birthday he got a train table set which he uses the matchbox cars on too. One of the big reasons for that was so he had someone new and interesting to use when I had to start feeding a baby only a few wks later. He LOVES it and it's great when I'm making dinner :) Other than that he spends most of his playtime outside and digs in the garden and he is starting to use his imagination a lot now. I've noticed it in the past few weeks a lot.

I found he has age group toys too... so now that Elijah is starting to be a lot more aware the baby toys I'd packed away are back again so I'm feeling a bit surrounded again lol. I did just today buy a new container to store them separately cos it makes it easier!

I guess in summary he's probably erring on the side or possibly a few too many toys, but it's good when he does find things he hasn't played with for a bit cos it can really help when I need some time to do something :)

I think its too many toys when you no longer have anywhere to store them!!:lol:

I agree with the toy library idea, because the kids soon learn they are just borrowing them & they have to return them but then they can get something else, like the library

Majority of the toys I have bought I bought second hand that are hard plastic & easy to clean when other kids come over that if it gets broken its not a big deal.
DD got a couple of good toys of us for birthday & Christmas but if someone asks what to get her for her birthday etc, I ask for toys because she doesnt have many
We are more likely to buy her books than toys

We have been a Montessori family... so like Mayaness said we value more "real" toys.

BUT we do have the bottom shelf of our book case with wicker baskets with toys in them. We have one basket for wooden toys, one for soft toys, one for puzzles, one for dress ups and one for the random plastic toys we've picked up along the way. I give away toys regularly, or do toy swaps with friends.

The next shelf on the bookcase has children's books and one section for drawing materials for them.

In the girls bedroom there are dolls with doll dress ups, a doll pram and a big dress up box. We have a play kitchen outside on the verandah which has real kitchen stuff and they make mud pies etc over summer. In our front yard is a trampoline with a net, a swing set and a slide. They spend most of their time out the front with the chickens and they play for hours everyday.

We feel like we still have too many toys. DD1 has started an obsession with Polly Pocket, but we've encouraged it as she doesn't do imaginative play very well and we want to help her learn how. She also has a DS, but she needs it.... (for more information check out the forum for children with special needs).

We also prefer "real" toys and making things with the girls. DD1's favorite toy for a while was a "baby" that we made out of a toilet roll and pipecleaners :lol:

Apart from that the Toy Library is awesome! I can highly recommend joining one as it means we can get a different toy and puzzle/game each fortnight so if it's not a success we haven't wasted money and if it is then we can play it to death and borrow it again at a later date. Also the puzzles and games are age appropriate so we borrow different ones as she develops.

I am with Mayaness- such a well written post that sums up my beliefs! We just don't buy any plastic toys/stuff for DD and ask family members not to. So what she does have is wooden or metal or made from natural fabrics. We just have a few baskets organised as Christy does and DD plays with this stuff but also loves sorting out spoons and forks into the drawer, playing with a tin of buttons, pushing a cloth dolly around etc. I think there is a line between not having any and having too many but I would rather the not many as this encourages creativity and develops the imagination far more than plastic food in a plastic oven!

ETA- that' s no offence intended to anyone who does have plastic food and plastic ovens!! It was just my way of explaining myself!

Well, you guys would all be gobsmacked at the amount of toys in our house!
We have lots of Fisher Price stuff - and plastic food and kitchen things.
I was going to reply as to why I think these toys serve a purpose - but realised i was being defensive, and after reflecting, realise that i really have no need to be :)
We all raise our children differently and have different values, which is what makes the world such an interesting place.

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I was going to reply as to why I think these toys serve a purpose - but realised i was being defensive, and after reflecting, realise that i really have no need to be :)
We all raise our children differently and have different values, which is what makes the world such an interesting place.

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I could not have said this better JaZaHMum

Before I purchase a toy I think about what learning value the item has and for how long it will keep my child occupied. We have a good mix of toys that I rotate on a regular basis. I try to avoid too many commercial character type toys, although I haven't denied my daughter a Dora doll just because it is commercalised.

We don't buy toys unless the girls are having a birthday or it is Christmas. We don't have toys out on display either. All the toys are in the girls rooms and they seem to be more motivated to play with them if I bring out a box for the day rather than having them always in sight.

To answer the original question - I don't believe it is quanity that is the issue. If the item/s are being used and enjoyed then why not have them?

JaZaHMum - glad to read it! No, you don't need to justify yourself in the least :)
And like I say, I've got friends who are overrun with the toys I specifically don't want or need and I manage to stay very good friends with them ;)
Essentially, I don't think there can be a 'not enough toys' situation, because kids will take anything and figure out a way to play with it! For my own situation, I can see a counter-productive effect of having too many toys. And like I said, DS gets a lot of stimulation from our lifestyle alone, where we live (in th hills with lots of birds, creeks and trees) and the cheap or free outside toys we have.
There is no 'one size fits all' in the world of families and people!

I personally try to choose toys that have 'expansive properties' rather than those that limit play.

Many of the plastic, mass produced toys on the market revolve around only one or two modes of play. Eg, press buttons, light flashes, makes a sound. That's it (limits play). Other toys have endless possibilities, the best example I can think of is a pair of brightly patterned square scarves that I bought from an op shop for DD1 when she was a baby. They get fashioned into clothes, headdresses, blankets, used for magic tricks, props for the barbie dolls, draped around the bedroom, on and on it goes, they've been played with for 10 years and I still find them stashed in DD1's room and not in the dressup box LOL.

With DD1 were weren't in a position to buy many toys and what she had was often limited by what i could find second hand or what I could afford very very cheaply. With DD2 we are luckier to be able to spend more, and ironically she has fewer, but much better quality toys. I'm really trying to keep away from plastic this time round.

Umm.. lots of toys here too :redface:

In my defence, most of them are recycled or freecycled, from op shops, markets or curbside collections. Any that are new were bought as presents- some of our mates who don't have kids have been pretty extravagant with gifts.

Lori - not many toys, but the ones we have are largely from the same sources as yours! Childless people spend up on Fisher Price (have some musical instruments that you don't actually play - press a button and they play themselves, very whizz bang...)! Otherwise, op shopping, recyclers etc. And my mum...biggest offender, who must believe she didn't have enough toys for me as a kid and is now compensating...LOL!

We live in a tiny unit, so space would stop us having too many toys, even if we had the money to buy whatever "too many toys" is.

If we had more space, i would love to get my DD a wooden kitchen as she loves the "home corner" at childcare so much.

If the backyard wasn't a mess of weeds and muck (with not one tree, zero shade), i would love to have a patch of grass, for a swingset, a sandpit and a shady spot to put an easel, for painting. I realise you can't have chickens in a block of units, but i would love to have a frog pond in the backyard.

i feel so guilty about all the play experiences she is missing out on where we live, that's why i put her in childcare, just so she can get the experiences of playing outdoors, painting and playing in a sandpit.

I'm interested in both Steiner and Montesorri play ideas, so have been trying to buy less toys, but choose open ended toys, made out of wood, cloth and metal. The rainbow things i've bought have been great for teaching DD about colours.

I've recently decided to not have battery operated toys, they get given away now. I noticed DD was behaving like a zombie with battery operated toys and books with battery operated buttons in them.

toys she has:
basket of real instruments
box of dressups
wooden blocks
an etch a sketch (i'm still not quite sure about these)
a box of playdough stuff
a box of paper/scrapbooks and steiner crayons (wax, small and rectangular) - i am not giving her textas or pencils for now.
a box of miniature animals
wooden push a long toys, wooden cars, wooden bulldozer
a drawer of puppets
a box of plush toys
fabric dolls
a toddler sized dustpan and broom
a toddler sized water squirter and sponge
lots of books
Kinder Yoga DVD
Amazing Drumming Monkeys DVD

i know i would go ALOT further, if i was a purist, i feel a bit "halfway", about where we are with the toys.

i do struggle at friend's houses, with the tv being on all the time, the textas, the battery operated toys that DD just keeps pushing buttons and stops actual playing with them, just acting like a zombie. I don't know how to handle it, i feel conflicted in my mind, don't want to offend my friends, but unsure what the exposure is doing to DD.

Gigi - I honestly don't think there's any harm! It's not her primary environment, and it's not really 'harming' the children who have them, the toys are just not doing much for their development in themselves, if that's what the parents are hoping!
There's much more to development than toys - there's adult modelling, movement, social interactions, daily activities you take for granted etc. If you're leaving the child in a room with these push button toys all day long with no other stimulation, then that's going to disadvantage the child...and I don't think any of us are doing that :)
My main focus has been on keeping 'things' down and not calling them 'his' as much as possible. The only things I've really called his (as in 'your x') have been his sword that DP made for him and his bed! I got a bit sick of hearing friends tell 'reassure' their kids that DS couldn't play with a certain toy because it was 'theirs', or that it was ok because it was 'theirs' and they'd get it back. With DS I call things 'the x' and don't attach ownership to it so that when someone comes over to play with it and he starts to look alarmed I tell him it's ok, that child can play with x because we share. I don't even do the 'he/she had it first' - unless there's been some blatant snatching going on (possessiveness rather than toy curiosity in a young child) I encourage DS to just give it over and tell him he can play with it after if he still wants to. Usually works ;) It doesn't teach him to be a push over, it teaches him it's not worth the battle cos it's just a thing and he can move on.
Anyway, that's my homage to the idea that we don't truly 'own' anything, and that 'attachment is at the root of all grief' and if you're gonna be attached make attachment to people and experiences, not things that can break, be taken away, not bought etc. I just do what I can and that's all we can do as parents :)