need to vent - pretty long sorry!

Hey everyone,

I haven't posted for ages but right now need to have a bit of a rant. My story thus far....in a same sex relationship with the best DP in the world. We have been together now for 12 years. Have been trying to conceive now for what feels like forever....about 3 years. We are using unknown donor sperm and using the services of a clinic. I have had 10 months of IUI with no success and due to shortage of donor sperm we were moved onto IVF. With no physical reason to fall pregnant we were excited at the thought of IVF as it was a "given" that I should fall pregnant.....well 3 cycles later, with numerous FET and 1 bout of hyperstimulation.....and a miscarriage at 12 weeks we have had our fair share of bad luck. I had a follow up appointment a month or so ago and was given the normal barrage of blood tests and ultrasound. Well US came back normal but one of my blood tests came back slightly out of normal range. It was a test about my blood and from what she explained to me was about having thicker blood than normal. I was told by my Dr that I should have a repeat blood test 6 weeks after the 1st one and if it came back with the same results they would look at giving me an injection of blood thinning medication right before my next FET. Well it works out that with AF being due on the 28th Aug the 6 weeks mark would be right around FET so Dr said they will not worry about the blood test and just go ahead with the injection as it will not do any harm. Its a medication they give to people who have recurrent miscarriages and most patients fall preg and maintain a preg with this medication. So all exciting...huh? Finally there may be a reason why I am not falling pregnant. So like a said AF was due 28th of Aug and is almost always right on time....but no....not this month....it decides now to be late.....really late.....just when there is a slight glimmer of hope. So now the waiting game......im so over waiting!!!

Thanks for listening....well reading.....
Claire

:hug: Hope you get your BFP :hug:

I'm sorry to hear what you've had to both go through. It is the worst feeling in the world to be actually waiting for AF....hugs.

Hi Curmon,

So sorry to hear that you have had a long journey to get to where you are at, but like you, I am excited to hear that they may have identified one of the issues as to why you have been having troubles.

I eventually tested postive for MTHFR, under the thrombophilia blood clotting disorders, prescribed with Clexane injections from EPU (I am also on low dose aspirin) on my 10th ART cycle, 7th ET, I fell pregnant for the first time ever and am now 16 weeks with twins. (I did start Clexane on an FET before this one, but from ET, which I think was a little too late).

So there is every hope that this might be the one thing that makes a difference for you, wishing you all the very best. xx

hi

I dont have anything to add just the offer of a hug :hug:

It is so hard doing this waiting game. But at least they seemed to have figured out why you aren't falling or staying pregnant.

Redlady

Thanks for your replies everyone.

Well AF did finally arrive over the weekend. So was pretty excited there for a while, however, I had to cancel my cycle as I have found a lump behind my ear and after a fine needle aspiration biopsy the results came back that it is more likely to be a pilomarixoma which is nothing serious, however there is a small chance of it being a basal cell carcinoma....so I have to get it cut out to be sure. So the whole pregnancy thing is going to have to wait. I will keep you posted, but the specialist appointment isnt till 19th Oct.

:pray: that its nothing serious. I hope the results come back ok.

:hug:

Hi Claire,
I hope that all is going ok with you and you will be able restart your journey soon. I was diagnosed with a condition that resulted in me being on heparin injections and asprin from prior to our last IVF cycle, up to the birth of our little boy. It did the trick and after 5(?) transfers we got our BFP. I hope that the meds to the trick for you as well - it can be really frustrating knowing that you have being trying when there was an underlying condition stoping your BFP!

Wishing you and your DP the best of luck!
FG

Thanks for all your posts. I just thought i would update you all on our situation. I called the clinic today to organise a repeat blood test for the test that came back out of normal ranges. After the blood test stuff got sorted they transferred my call to the counselor she proceeded to inform me that in 2010 they are no longer able to use unknown donor sperm due to new legislation brought in. So after an in depth conversation with the counselor, my partner and I have decided to do another stimulated cycle to get as many embroys as we can before the year ends and do a freeze all cycle till after i have the surgery. That way we are still able to use the embroys in 2010. If i dont fall pregnant after this lot of embies and the 1 that i have frozen at the moment then it looks as if its the end of the road for us. So right now we are both upset and really angry...so fingers crossed.

wow you have been though so much atm... I :pray: things turn around for you very soon, so you get to hold your forever baby in your arms before long :hug:...

curmon...geez. I can't believe that 'the powers that be' are determining the direction of your and your partners' lives. :shakehead::shakehead::shakehead:

it's awful that any of us have to go through an unpleasant experience that IVF is, but it's our choice to do it, and they are taking that away from you. I don't know the whys and wherefores but big hugs, and let us know how you both go.

Update

Had my lump taken out and it was nothing to be concerned about. Then went did a freeze all cycle in December to try and and get us as many embryos as we could to be able to use in the new year being 2010. The reason for the freeze all cycle was due to the fact I was going to Malaysia as part of uni and the last thing I wanted to be doing was taking all my meds with me and if indeed i was pregnant and travelling It would have been just too risky.

Well we ended up with 6 embryo's (I always get great numbers and text book looking embryos) and had one transfered on the 19th of Jan and started daily Clexane injections.

I had a pregnancy test today which came back with low HCG levels and to retest again on Fri. A bit frustrating as there is a chance my levels will drop to nothing, but the fact that I didnt hear the "negative" word again was good.

So fingers crossed for me and will keep you posted

Hope this is it Curmon! :goodluck:

Hoping that this is the one and you have a lovely sticky, bubba there, Claire. Will be thinking of you and sending lots and lots of sticky vibes :pray:

Hi Hi... I was just reading your post and wanted to say I hope your numbers are rising and all is going well.

Let us know!!

Ok update time. I had my 1st blood test on the Tues 2nd of March and my HCG level was only 7 and that was 11 days after a blastocyst transfer. I was then asked to repeat the blood test on Friday 5th and it came back at 50. I had another test today 10th and levels came back at 150. So they are on the rise but way lower than what they should be. The clinic is concerned it may be an ectopic pregnancy. I am having another test next week on the 18th and depending on my levels they will organise a scan for the Friday.

So frustrating.....why cant anything just go right for me for a change!!
I will will let you know what happens next week

Claire

Oh Claire :( I really hope it's just a little sticky one who's implanted a bit later (I've hear that blastocysts can implant later than when embryos do in natural conception) and that they're just a relaxed little one that's taking it's time to get buried in deep :crossfingers:

Thinking of you, and I hope the wait until your next test goes as quickly as can be in the circumstances, and I'll be here to read how things are next week.

Praying everything is all right :hug:

I had my blood levels retested on Wed and they have increased to 1050, still low. The nurses at my clinic told me to go to the early pregnancy assessment center to get checked out. However that night I started to bleed and passed a small clot. There was only some mild cramping for a few hours and the bleeding has eased but not completely stopped. I still went to the appointment and had an ultrasound. There was nothing found on the ultrasound but the Dr said it still could be too early to see anything with such a low level. So I will go in again on Monday and have another blood test to see whats happening with my levels and undertake another scan.

talk again next week

Ahhh, I'm sorry for the awful waiting game, Claire :( I really hope that things are Monday can be clarified, and I am hoping for the best :pray:

Thinking of you xo

Well things did not go well, after lots of blood test and scans it was finally confirmed with a drop in hcg level that I had indeed miscarried. So feeling pretty crap at the moment but I keep looking at the positive in the fact that I fell pregnant first go on clexane injections after so many attempts in the last few years. So going to take a month to get fit and healthy and then try again.
Thanks for listening and your support.

Claire

Claire :comfort: I'm really sorry to hear this :(

I'm glad you're able to see the positives and look forward to trying again, and please remember that we're here if you need any support in dealing with the loss of your pregnancy.

I hope that the next try is another very big step forward, and this time a little bub that is able to stay with you.

Thinking of you xo

Sorry to hear your news :hug:
I hope this turns out to be a positive step for you