Weight, IVF and refusal of treatment

Hello I wish to ask everyone on here a questions please if I may.

Were you refused treatment on IVF until you lost weight? Using donor sperm.

Were you refused treatment on IVF until you lost weight? Using your own husbands sperm.

Which clinic?

I seen the nurse and the doctor at WFC who have refused me treatment because I am 10kg over weight. I can go away and loose the weight but until then I can't have treatment.

They have measured me using the BMI body mass index, which is inheritantly flawed as elite athletes will often score in the obese category.

They have warned me that I might get gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, that I might have to have a caesarean because of my weight.

I have low blood pressure 100/70, i have low blood sugar 4.1mmol. Im 166cm and 104kg. I walk everywhere and I climb stairs, I walk up escalators. I can't exercise because of my inner ear condition. It gives me vertigo. The nurse laughed at me when I said I walk everywhere. She said how about a jog. I said I wish I could because now i have vertigo i can't jog otherwise I would be at the gym 2hrs per day. I felt berated and treated unfairly.

I have had skinny friends who ended up with gestational diabetes and/or high blood pressure during pregnancy. Weight has nothing to do with it as far as Im concerned

I was talked to like a child by the nurse. I was told do you know anything about portion size. Ummm I have cut down dramatically. My husband came to my defense because he can see it what I have done to my portions over the past 6 months. And only 1 kilo weight loss.

She was assuming I ate at Mcdonalds, KFC or whatever every night. I actually eat quite healthy. I have genetics on my side working against me. My mum, her sister, her mother, cousins, Dads side of the family all from good stock with weight conserving bodies. Not everyone is meant to be skinny.

I felt down, depressed and down right cranky after this.

I can shoot up herion or take speed or take ecstasy every week and probably loose weight. That wouldnt be a problem, they dont drug test. But apparently 10kg overweight is a big problem.

Im in NO WAY going to do the above. Im just saying what happens if someone did do this and thats how they maintained their weight. (I know of people who do) and they needed IVF. Thats ok cause they are in the healthy weight range..never mind they take drugs which is damaging for the child and conception.

I know of people in my town extremely overweight to look at them. They have had children naturally and they didnt have a problem. One lady looks like she may be a size 20. The other one I wouldnt know if she could even buy clothes from a store. I have a friend who is a size 24 concieving naturally. And no one tells her you can't have kids because of your weight.


ARGHHHHH!!!! Sorry this is turned into a rant. I need to finish up.

Redlady

I'm sorry to hear you were treated that way & spoke to so rudely.
I dont have any experience with IVF but I'm sure others will be in here shortly.
I just wanted to give you a :hug: & wish you all the best. I can imagine how frustrating & infuriating this is for you

Sorry I can't answer your questions as I have no experience with IVF but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your treatment. I cannnot believe how incredibly rude that nurse was to you. That is so unprofessional and unethical - I would be reporting her to her superior.

That is just an awful experience and so unfair! :hug:

*Hugs* I'm truly sorry you were treated like that.
We are not doing IVF but our clinic weighs me before each donor IUI cycle. I'm now 25kg over my "ideal" weight and nobody has ever said anything to me. (Although 10 of those kg is from bl**dy Clomid- How I hate that stuff!)

My best friend is doing IVF at the same clinic as us (using DH's sperm) and she is well over 100kg. No one has mentioned her weight either.

I believe you should fight them on that. I don't believe being 10kg over weight has been proven to have an impact on the outcome of a pregnancy, don't you need to be "obese" to start running into those kind of troubles?

Hope everything works our for you hun :hug:

:hug: it sounds like they are being really harsh, almost discriminating against you. Is there another dr you could see or another fertility clinic?

Hope you get some better answers soon.

10kgs isnt even that much over weight! sounds fishy to me! find somewhere else if possible.

I agree with Hollo... although I have read that losing 10% of your weight can sometimes increase your chances of fertility by X% - maybe this is what they're getting at? (I can't remember what that %age was though) And they have taken a completely wrong approach to explaining that to you!

BUT, weight has nothing to do with GD, my SIL is a bigger girl (much bigger than you) and has never had any of these problems. That nurse sounds plain rude as well..

Is there another clinic that you're able to go to?

And don't trust that BMI thing either! I hate that thing!! My Df is 6foot3 and weights 105kg's and it reckons he's obese, but he's a bean pole and he'd have to lose a limb to lose weight.

That's a crock. I'm well over 100kgs, and I have conceived naturally, had fabulous pregnancies (no high BP, No GD etc) and had VB's with gas only.
I hope you can find somewhere else that will help you out.

Hi Red lady

I am really sorry that you feel that the clinic was rude. Maybe you should consider going elsewhere.

While I know that BMI is not the be all and end all it is in most cases a fair and reasonable way to measure weight. I am also 166cm tall, weight significantly less than you and it has still been recommended to me by my FS that I try and drop a few kg. I too know the trought with being genetically predisposed to being chunky (but lest face it - we will last longer in the famines!) and I can't imagine how terrible it would be not to be able to exercise regularly. Are you possibly able to try evercise in a stationery position such as an exercise bike, or how would swimming go (sorry - I'm not up on which exercises can cause vertigo)

There are plenty of studies that show that even loosing a little bit of weight makes falling pregnant easier and pregnancy far more comfortable. There are also studies which do show that overweight people are far more likely to suffer pregnancy complications. I am not saying that this means that all overweight people do, or that no skinny peopld do, it just means that we are more likely to suffer from these issues.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that your clinic is probably only trying to do the very best they can by you, however misguided their approach may have been.

I wish you the very best of luck whatever you decide to do.

I'm so sorry to hear you were treated that way. That was my worst fear when we started AC - that I'd be sent away until I lost weight. :hug:

I'm 170cm and weighed 115kg for my last two EPUs and no-one has ever said anything to me about my weight (well, aside from my acupuncturist who harps on about it, but no-one at the IVF clinic). I still O on my own very regularly and our diagnosis was unexplained IF. The only thing is that I never got a lot of eggs (5-6) or embryos (3-4), which may or may not have been a result of my weight.

I have slowly lost about 5kg since my last IVF in June (now around 110kg) and just got a natural BFP. Weight be damned!! And before anyone suggests the weight loss was the reason we got the BFP, I was 95kg the first year we were TTC - I gained 20kg after I started AC (a combination of the drugs and emotional eating).

If you are still O'ing and your hormones are doing what they should, then I don't see the problem. But if your cycles are annovulatory because of your weight, then would I suggest it might be a valid suggestion if they have reason to think you will not respond well to the FSH injections...

Good luck and I hope you are able to get the respect you deserve.

I thought I was the only one that had that sort of talking to....... We shouldn't be sorry - They should be sorry to you, weight is a very hard subject for alot of women and to be spoken to or told that is very rude.. I would get a second opinion. Are your cycles regular and do you ovulate?
When we origionally saw the FS i was 168cm and 124kg. Nothing was said to me in regards to weight, but they did say that if i lost a few kg's it would increase my chances which I already knew. I had struggled with weight since i was about 15 so i knew it was not going to be easy. After 8 months, 4 cycles (1 cancelled and 3 IUI's) i had gained approx 10kg. My last IUI i had just paid my $1280 and the FS told me after being on injects for 29 days with not alot of egg development that it was no point doing any more injection just to get on with the cycle have a trigger shot, do the transfer and hope for the best, "but don't get your hope up cause it won't work as you are too fat and that this would be the last treatment she would give me until I lost at least 30kg" that was her words.. I was absoutly gutted - I knew I was fat but I don't think I should of been spoken to like that. But long story short we are changing specialists at the end of the year and am getting my weight down before then.
Cheers Scruples

Hi ladies,

I am ovulating and I dont have any hormonal issues. The reason why we are doing IVF is my DH sperm are stuffed. We can't ever fall preg with his.

I went to WFC for an appointment last weekend. I had been ringing and ringing and ringing the WFC to try and contact Dr Howard Smith the director of the clinic. With no avail at all. For the last 3-4 days or so.

Tonight my DH rang Westmead Hospital and he was actually still on shift. My Dh convinced the receptionist to page him and we got to talk with him tonight finally!!

He wasn't overly concerned that the FN and Dr soo were rude about the weight. My DH told them they need to be a bit more sensitive and to judge people on a case by case basis not on the weight. And my DH asked Dr Smith to talk to his staff to tell his staff not to be so rude. Just cause someone is big doesn't mean they eat unhealthy. But i REALLY dont think he will even do this, he seemed dis-interested.

I also asked where is this stated in the brochures or in the information pack. He said it wasn't. I said I think it should be mentioned in the brochures and information package that there is a BMI requirement. I got emotional and my DH took over. He said if that was in the brochure that we wouldn't have wasted our weekend, he wouldn't have taken the day off on friday, and we wouldnt have spent $500 on that weekend if we had of known all this before hand.

When we asked Dr Smith if we did lose the weight and I managed to only get to 9kg weight loss would he treat me being that I still had 1kg to go. He said No. I asked what if it was only 500grams to go or half a kilo he said No. That the protocols were the protocols. I thought that this would be the case. How bloody stupid even if you are half a kilo from reaching the stated weight they won't treat you. Thats ridiculous, our scales at home could read ok, then we would drive 4hours to the clinic be weighed and then told No you can't do it today your still to heavy and then we would be returning home for another 4 hour drive.

Conclusion....Stuff WFC!!! Stick with our original clinic. The FS there said that weight loss would be good but if I didnt achieve it he wouldn't refuse to treat me.

2nd conclusion....Ladies if your having trouble with weight loss or PCOS don't count on WFC to treat you. Go elsewhere.

Redlady

Sorry to hear that you were treated badly :(

Although I don't have IVF experience, I DO know that in my 3 pregnancies, I am the heaviest in this one and really do feel the worst - not just body image-wise (and the dreaded feeling of knowing I will have an extra few to lose later on that weren't there before), but my joints and muscles are not coping well at all - this was not a planned pregnancy and I can't say I'd personally ever plan one being overweight. (I am 157cm tall and was 85kg when I fell pregnant this time)

From what a friend said, though, when she went through IVF, she was told you do have a greater chance of success when your body is as healthy as you can get it, and a better chance of less complications anyway in pregnancy (IVF or not). Perhaps, though, if this is all what the nurses and doc meant to say, they should come up with a far more civilised way of saying it.

not all infertility issues are weight related, and losing weight sometimes does not assist someone in falling pregnant. I agree all patients should be treated on a case-by-case basis.

When I started fertility treatment, I was very overweight, and my clinic actually advised me of which consulting fertility specialist would not treat me, and which ones would. My weight had nothing to do with my infertility - I couldn't conceive because I had blocked tubes from a tubal ligation and had had 3 children naturally previously! My weight was obviously NOT the issue. That there were some specialists who would not even treat me despite the clear evidence that my fertility issue was not a weight-related one is ridiculous. Do women who conceive naturally get told they have to be on contraception until they lose 10kg? So why do an infertile women get told that they aren't allowed the opportunity to conceive until they've lost weight?

I was also overweight was I fell pregnant to my IVF son, Charlie, and I can safely say that at 36 years of age, and being overweight, it was still the absolutely healthiest pregnancy I had of all my pregnancies. I exercised regularly so was fit, I ate well when pregnant, and only gained 9kgs for the whole pg. With my first three natural pregnancies, I was in the 20s, was a slug, never exercised and ate crap. With my 3rd child, I gained a whopping 23kgs. Weight was not an issue for my pregnancies either - my attitude was the issue, and I had the best attitude in my last pregnancy.

Now if your infertility is weight-related, such as with PCOS, I could understand a dr wanting to see some weight loss perhaps in conjunction with treatment. But to refuse treatment outright? I have issues with that. I always have. I am not longer overweight (thanks to a lapband) but it irks me that weight is something still openly discriminated against, even when there is no real reason for that sort of discrimination.

I think you need to shop around for a more enlightened FS and clinic.

thank you Sushee,

Yes I felt openly discriminated against because Im overweight. Im still fit and healthy. I have low BP I have low BGL and I have low CHOL.

I know a skinny girl who couldn't walk a block and half up a slight incline to work because she was out of breath. She was late for work because she had to have a rest in between.

And trust me it is a very very slight incline.

Who is more fit her or me? I do that incline with no problems. I can walk for hours no problem.

Everyone should be treated on a case by case basis full stop.

My weight has nothing to do with me not falling pregnant my DH sperm don't swim. And can't be used due to a genetic condition. I have been preg before just had an morning after pill, assumed it worked, had an xray and MRI thought that the fetus would be abnormal and had a termination. This was to a previous partner.

Hey Redlady,

Don't let them get you down. I'm overweight, 41 yrs old and got pregnant on our second attempt with IVF. I'm now 31 weeks, eat well, run my own business (on my feet all day), walk b/n 1 and 2kms a night, no GD, good blood pressure and so far a healthy pregnancy. Skinny doesn't necessarily equal healthy. Find a better clinic and you'll be fine. All the best.

yes me got knocked back as i need to lose about 25kgs well 21kgs now
but it is upsetting when they tell you , you can't do it
sarah

I have had a similar thing occur - my clinic wont treat patients who have a bmi over 35. I do understand why though - your chances of falling pregnant are a lot worse for people in that category, whether or not the reason for your infertility is male factor, female factor or unexplained. So I get it. But that doesn't make it any easier. I had to lose 15kg to start IVF and it nearly killed me - I ended up at the gym every single day for 3 months and lost the 15 kg, but it was the hardest thing I ever did.

I have since put a bit of that weight back on, mainly due to ohss and hormones, and the clinic dont weigh me anymore. They have asked me to try and lose a couple of kilos if i can for our next cycle as we want to give ourselves every possible chance so that we dont have to go down the donor sperm path next year.

Thats terrible you were spoken to in this way! As a few of the other ladies have said 10 isn't over the top when it comes to being over weight! Althought I have not had any experience with IVF myself, there was a lady in our birthing classes that was a very big girl... Well and truely over weight, as was her DH and she had concieved through IVF. She openly talked about her experience and only ever had good things to say about the clinic (as it had been a very long process for her). I know that she did suffer from high PB during the preg, but anybody in any weight range can go through that same thing. She did end up with a C-Section as she was over due with a big bub and the induction wasn't working for her, once again some one of any weight could go through! Her and bub were perfectly healthy post birth!
I think you have been treated very unfairly and I would fight it! You have the same rights as any other person going through or wanting to start the IVF process. I wish you the very best of luck with it all... I look forward to seeing your preg announcement when these people wake up to themselves!!! :)

I think that your clinic may actually be doing you a favour - in the sense that spending a few months losing weight could make a big difference to your success rate when you do actually start ivf, which would then mean fewer cycles, fewer drugs and fewer costs (both financial and physical/emotional).
A more tactful list of the advantages of weight loss prior to ivf is here:
Melbourne IVF | Associated Services - The Big Girls' Group

Maybe the best thing to do is give yourself a time period (say 4 months), and enlist some professional help from a dietician and a physiotherapist and see how you go. Whichever clinic you end up with it can only help your eventual chances.

Edited to add: Have a talk to some of the rehab hospitals in your area (the ones that deal with recovery after accidents and stroke). They usually have excellent gym facilities for people with balance problems - one thing in particular is the exercise bikes with proper chair-like seats so you are safe. And they will be able to help you work out what you can and can't do.

kmn - that is a really great program, to be honest i wish they ran something like that in Perth rather than having to go off and do it all by yourself.

redlady - you definitely shouldnt have someone being rude to you, and speaking to you like a child is being rude. But the basis behind - losing weight really is a positive thing.

My background is Im a registered nurse. I know about what is good for me diet wise. I eat healthy. I just can exercise due to vertigo.

That sucks to be spoken to so rudely! There are more sensitive ways to raise the issue of weight.

Actually, if this FET doesn't take, I'm putting myself on an IVF ban until I lose minimum 10%. I'm 159cm & 86kg (already lost 3kg :D - but still 24kg over weight), but I can't help but wonder if the other two transfers failed because of my weight. Even after losing 3kg & cutting sugar from my diet, my polycystic ovaries (not PCOS) already look better, and have much fewer cysts.

I'm not being pushy, and try not to get mad at me, but you're actually 30kg overweight. I found Weightwatchers to be of great help when I honestly *thought* I was eating right... but wasn't! Maybe you could look at a similar program, or start monitoring your calories (which has been an eye-opener for me lately!), to help lose a couple of cms.

I think a change in clinics is a rellly good thing. If the rude ones can't even be polite about weight, i can only imagine how insenstive they could be on other issues.

Best of luck for your journey. :)

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My background is Im a registered nurse. I know about what is good for me diet wise. I eat healthy. I just can exercise due to vertigo.

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I'm so sorry your feelings have been hurt, this is an emotional enough time already. But you really can exercise. You said yourself in your first post that you walk everywhere and climb stairs.

I lost 10kgs in 17 weeks through walking (an hour to two hours a day in addition to my incidental walking) and a simple at-home weight program using light dumbells 3 days a week. I also watched my portion sizes. It's a boring way to lose weight but it was incredibly effective and easy to maintain. Exercise does not necessarily have to mean jumping up and down and running. Can you swim without it affecting your vertigo?

There was nothing wrong with my cholesterol levels, blood sugar levels, blood pressure etc before I lost the weight but the fact was I was overweight and uncomfortable.

Even if you don't believe it won't have any effect on the outcome of your fertility treatment it will affect your quality of life when you become a mum. And honestly, if it got me the treatment I needed, I would swallow my pride and kiss my bruised ego better and do whatever I could to get my very-much-wanted baby.

If it makes you feel better I agree you should take your business elsewhere. You are spending enough money, you don't need to feel embarrassed around the people who are treating you as well.

I remember when I was undergoing IVF, my dr made clear my hormone levels were spot on, I ovulated like clockwork. I didn't need loads of FSH to produce a good number of good quality eggs. He told me my fertility issues were not weight related.

But as I had more and more failed cycles, I started to feel perhaps he was wrong. I too got told often 'you should lose weight, it will benefit you even if you don't need to lose it for treatment' and so to 'assist' things, in a 'rest' month, I went on a diet. I exercised and changed my eating patterns and lost 6 kgs.

The next month, I went in for treatment feeling mighty proud that I'd done everything I could to have my long-for baby.

And guess what? I didn't ovulate that month. When my dr expressed his confusion and asked what I was doing differently, I came clean and admitted that I was trying to lose weight. He told me to stop and asked why I would do something that could mess with my cycles when in fact my fertility wasn't weight-related. I stopped dieting, gained a little bit of weight back (as you do) and the next IVF cycle I did, I ovulated, like clockwork, as normal.

What did I learn from that? We are individuals and we should be treated on a case-by-case basis. Infertility is a medical issue that is so diverse and so can be caused by so many things. Why should we be treated with a one-size-fits-all approach?

And you know what? Women undergoing IVF have enough guilt about their infertility without having to yet again have another 'blanket' reason for their failure. If their fertility issues are weight-related (like PCOS) then fair enough. But to assume that my weight is why I'm not conceiving when there is clear indications that that's not the case? Sorry but I refuse to accept that infertile women take on that burden of guilt too just because some Dr is too lazy to investigate thoroughly before turning you away simply based on weight.

And btw, after we had our IVF son, my Dr mentioned in hindsight that he believed reasons for our repeated failure to implant probably had to do with a yet undiagnosed issue with my husband. The problem is that tests for women are exhuastive but for men, there are very few. So all that guilt I had carried about me 'preventing' our success by being overweight was probably for nothing after all.

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I remember when I was undergoing IVF, my dr made clear my hormone levels were spot on, I ovulated like clockwork. I didn't need loads of FSH to produce a good number of good quality eggs. He told me my fertility issues were not weight related.

But as I had more and more failed cycles, I started to feel perhaps he was wrong. I too got told often 'you should lose weight, it will benefit you even if you don't need to lose it for treatment' and so to 'assist' things, in a 'rest' month, I went on a diet. I exercised and changed my eating patterns and lost 6 kgs.

The next month, I went in for treatment feeling mighty proud that I'd done everything I could to have my long-for baby.

And guess what? I didn't ovulate that month. When my dr expressed his confusion and asked what I was doing differently, I came clean and admitted that I was trying to lose weight. He told me to stop and asked why I would do something that could mess with my cycles when in fact my fertility wasn't weight-related. I stopped dieting, gained a little bit of weight back (as you do) and the next IVF cycle I did, I ovulated, like clockwork, as normal.

What did I learn from that? We are individuals and we should be treated on a case-by-case basis. Infertility is a medical issue that is so diverse and so can be caused by so many things. Why should we be treated with a one-size-fits-all approach?
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Hello sushee,

Thats what happens to me when I loose weight I don't ovulate. I actually go without a period. I only get a period every two months when I drop weight.

I do believe as you keep saying there is not one size fits all approach to anything so why should there be for IVF treatment.

I did see someone say that according to my height and weight I need to loose 30kgs. Yep thats true, but also unachieveable for me. I have vestibular neuronitis. I tried to swim the other day I had to stop after 15mins as I was getting vertigo. I can do exercise in bursts of 10-15 mins but then need to stop for the rest of the day and the next day otherwise I won't be fit for work.

Yes I do need to loose 30kgs but its not like Im Obese to look at me. My stomach is not hanging over my jeans, I have a large pear shaped bottom which is where I carry my fat. Pear shaped women often have nothing wrong with them but what society judges as wrong. Pear shaped women are often fertile women.

I can try and loose weight but I think 10kg is more achieveable for me. I have always been a muscly pear shaped women. Just cause the scales read high doesn't mean Im gross looking and have fat everywhere.

Just wait till I do get started with IVF. Im sure it won't impede my ability to get pregnant. It hasn't in the past. I will just be a part of the statistics that is IVF sometimes you win some sometimes you loose some.

Redlady

ps. I dont eat candy, I dont eat chocolate (yuk), I have cut out sugar I use sweetner, I dont eat bread, I dont eat pasta, I have cut down my portion sizes drastically in the last 6 months and hello only 1kg of weight lost in 6months.

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ps. I dont eat candy, I dont eat chocolate (yuk), I have cut out sugar I use sweetner, I dont eat bread, I dont eat pasta, I have cut down my portion sizes drastically in the last 6 months and hello only 1kg of weight lost in 6months.

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This seems to be turning into a weightloss thread!

You must be so frustrated, 6 months of effort and only 1kg to show for it. Two things come to mind...

1. Have you had your thyroid checked?

2. Are you eating a high protein diet? They don't work for everybody. I actually lost my weight by cutting back meat to once a day only (so a tuna sandwich at lunch meant a meat free dinner) and eating plenty of pasta, rice and vegetables.

I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of thing you want to hear...I really am trying to help if you are left with no option but to try and lose weight before they agree to treat you.

And I still think you should get a second opinion at a different fertility specialist. I'm a big believer in feeling comfortable with your caregivers.

Can moderators close this thread????

I think its gone as far as its going to go.

Redlady