getting scared...

Is anyone else absolutely freaking out about labour?? :redface:

Bit of a background .. With DD's birth i was induced with syntocin, contractions came hard and fast and she was born in about 5 hours (from the very first pain). I was on gas and peth - which made me feel soo drunk and not able to control myself - yet still feel everything. When she finally arrived i had a retained placenta and was rushed into theatre and woke up about 2 hours later. I had 3 blood transfusions over the next few days.

Because of my experience, I have been reading quite a bit this pregnancy, and I decided early to get myself mentally prepared for labour and everything related to it. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Activebirth, and Hynobirthing have been my selection.

I really enjoyed Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, i'm in the process of reading it a second time. I really thought i was ready for the day. I felt confident in my body and the birthing process. Well; that was until last night.

The baby was wriggling soooo much i started to feel really sick (i've never felt like this from baby's movements, just always enjoyed them). Then i started experiencing prelabour. Really tight braxon hicks which were slightly painful. They were coming every 6 minutes apart for about half and hour. I started freaking out... I ran to the toilet and vomited everywhere, burst into tears and kept telling my DH how scared i am about the whole thing... :crying: He kept reassuring me, reminding me that no injury will be taking place (Ina May's book.. i told him to tell me this when if i freak out).

Can I do this?? I guess i'm just looking to reassurance...

Please share with me the story of your second birthing experience....

Sorry I can't really help. Just wanted to send you a :hug:

You are doing a great job at informing and educating yourself and your DH sounds like a gem!

I'm sure some other lovely ladies will pop in soon with their 2nd labour experiences.

All the best xox

hi tt, I havent as yet had the experience of being pregnant yet with my second child, but I still am freaking out about how I will cope next time. Different experience to yours but still traumatic for me.
just wanted to send you some support and lots of big hugs, I will be trying to remind myself next time that the body will know what to do, so will the baby, try to have faith that YOU can do this, there is no injury that will be taking place, just a precious bubba a the end of it.
xx:hug:

Your DH is gold :)
Crisis of confidence - lots of us have it, even when we're well-prepared!
You're on the right track. Just remember about fear=tension=pain, as well.
Oh, and you have time to watch Orgasmic Birth if you can get your hands on a copy ;)

Thank you so much ladies
I love the support on BB ;)
DH has been awesome today, talking to me about it and making sure i'm ok..
I don't know what i'm going to do, keep reading and filling myself with positive thoughts and feelings i guess!

Mayaness - i know exactly what you mean about the fear - i have to overcome it if i want to have the natural birth i desire.

thankyou again ladies

i havent even had a baby yet, but i too am freaking out, i havent let myself think about labour up until the last few weeks, i know i have to prepare myself but i didnt want to stress out for the whole pregnancy about it.
Your first birth sounds very scary :( but im sure you wont go through that again :)
I wish you the bets of luck sweet :)
xxx

Yes you can do it sweetheart. Remember hypnobirthing and releasing your fears. Picture it floating away and being replaced by positive thoughts and emotions. YOU CAN DO THIS! I have now had 2 VBAC's both times using hypnobirthing, each one was different but wonderful and amazing. I'm really glad I did it and really happy that I was able to get past my fears :) I will try to find the link to Oskar's birth story, haven't finished Elijah's yet.

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Is anyone else absolutely freaking out about labour?? :redface:

Bit of a background .. With DD's birth i was induced with syntocin, contractions came hard and fast and she was born in about 5 hours (from the very first pain). I was on gas and peth - which made me feel soo drunk and not able to control myself - yet still feel everything. When she finally arrived i had a retained placenta and was rushed into theatre and woke up about 2 hours later. I had 3 blood transfusions over the next few days.

Because of my experience, I have been reading quite a bit this pregnancy, and I decided early to get myself mentally prepared for labour and everything related to it. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Activebirth, and Hynobirthing have been my selection.

I really enjoyed Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, i'm in the process of reading it a second time. I really thought i was ready for the day. I felt confident in my body and the birthing process. Well; that was until last night.

The baby was wriggling soooo much i started to feel really sick (i've never felt like this from baby's movements, just always enjoyed them). Then i started experiencing prelabour. Really tight braxon hicks which were slightly painful. They were coming every 6 minutes apart for about half and hour. I started freaking out... I ran to the toilet and vomited everywhere, burst into tears and kept telling my DH how scared i am about the whole thing... :crying: He kept reassuring me, reminding me that no injury will be taking place (Ina May's book.. i told him to tell me this when if i freak out).

Can I do this?? I guess i'm just looking to reassurance...

Please share with me the story of your second birthing experience....

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Dear TT, darl I can't help but feel sad when i read your account of your first birth. To frog-march a primip uterus through a 5 hour labour to me is just 'cruel and unusual punishment.' Nature intends for a first time labour to warm up gently, and progress gradually, suffusing all your tissues with hormones and stretching everything up so gradually - (except in a few rare cases - I have heard of a few remarkable cases of first time mothers giving birth within 4 hours!!) It is not uncommon for first time labours to take 40 hours, one of the loveliest homebirth primip labours I attended unfolded over 60 hours: baby girl born in the pool after only 20 minutes of gentle, instinctive pushing - no tears.

There is a big difference between a woman who naturally gives birth to her first baby under 6 hours because that's just how her body does is - and the average primip who would probably take 20-40 hours being pharmaceutically forced to go through it in 5 hours. That would be very very hard on your body, and so tough emotionally too. Your natural endorphins just have no chance of catching up, it would feel like you're being hit by a train. Natural labour is not like that.

I was with a client a few weeks ago who like you was induced - it was all over in 8 hours, she stood on her feet the entire time and yes she did have a "vaginal birth" - but, just like you - the placenta was retained and off to theatre she went to have a spinal and manual removal - so she and bub were separated for over 2 hours, so there went the skin to skin cuddles and bonding she was hoping for after a vaginal birth.

I think when a uterus is forced like that, it increases the risk of problems with the placenta, including haemorrhage. Your natural hormonal balance is quite disrupted.

What reason was given for your induction?

It sounds to me like you were given more synto than you needed. They have their 'protocols' for synto - but that does not take into account that every woman is unique and different. The "active management of birth" - that appalling philosophy - decrees that every cervix shall dilate 1 cm per hour, and every woman who goes over 42 weeks shall be induced, and every woman who is induced shall have synto at increasing levels until she is contracting 4 strong contractions within 10 minutes.

Well, you are not a machine. You are not a machine. You are not even a lab rat. You are a woman, a person, a unique individual.

What can I say, except don't go to places where they practice according to that philosophy.

You might want to get a copy of your obstetric notes (something that should automatically be in the possession of every birthing women, as in New Zealand), so you can see what synto regime they gave you. An independent midwife could review your notes with you, explain what it all means and perhaps help you to debrief a bit.

It is not unusual to get through a traumatic birth experience, then get on with life ... then suddenly have the fear and trauma come rushing back late in the second pregnancy, often when the first bout of contractions start. This has happened to two of my clients so far this year. One had strong BH cx at 37 weeks, burst into tears and called her friend. Her friend put her in touch with me, I met her and at 42 plus 2 weeks she had a homebirth VBAC. Another woman had her traumatic birth 7 years ago. She thought she was fine, but at 36 weeks suddenly realised she terrified and got in touch with me. I put her in touch with some midwives - and now she is planning a homebirth, too. So, having strong fears rushing to the surface late in pregnancy when you feel those first cx, hey you're not alone.

You so can do this, I hope and pray that this time you will experience a natural start to labour, and experience that your uterus does not need to be rushed or forced, she works beautifully all on her own, with nothing driving her other than your own natural hormones, which work in synchronicity with your own emotions - so you are never forced to go ahead of what you are ready for. I hope this time there will be no synto and a natural third stage and no retained placenta or PPH. I had one client who had an awful PPH with her forced induction birth. The next time, she decided to have her baby in a birth centre. She had a beautiful gentle birth, and NO PPH! Natural third stage.

Darl, you so can do this. In some ways, you won't know what your 'style' is because you never got to experience what your body likes to do unforced. But one thing you do know - your body works, it rocks, you got the goods, girl. Even in the most hostile environment, with so much against you, you still somehow gave birth.

Ina May is awesome, some good wisdom there, remember what she says about our shy sphincters. You might like Sarah Buckley too - she explains the hormones of birth so well, and why undisturbed birth is safest.

Huge hugs to you darl, take heart, you can do this, trust your awesome body and do it on YOUR timetable.

Julie, your post was inspirational!

I had a wonderful first birth, with no tearing and completely natural.... and I was still COMPLETELY freaked out about labour the second time!! :lol: I remember posting the same thing when I was about 8 weeks pg with T, wanting to hear some good "2nd-birth" stories.

There are lots of them - even with first births which were less than ideal. FWIW my second birth was great - faster than the first, but I wasn't physically ill like I was the first time (that was a pleasant surprise!) and I kind of knew that I'd done it once so it made the contractions and everything far easier to cope with.

You will be fine - you are doing all the right stuff and because of the things that were... less than ideal! with your first birth, you're so much more educated and prepared this time round... you can do this. You can.

Julie i can not thank you enough for your post :hug:
You've put so much time and effort into - it is soo appreciated!
I love everything that you have said, DH and i read it together last night and it makes so much sense. Things i guess i already knew deep down - but now you've said it directly to me, i realise - yes it does apply to me iykwim.

I know what you mean about the shy sphincter - i need to overcome my fears, feel totally comfortable, and totally at ease with everything that will happen during my birthing experience - or i'll cause unnecessary pain and slow my body down.

I was induced with DD after my waters broke and 12 hours later i hadn't had any contractions. I really regret it. I was so naive and uneducated on the whole birthing process. I had the attitude of 'what i don't know won't hurt me' i guess... when infact it did hurt me! I had no idea on the different drugs used in hospitals, or their side effects. Reading Active Birth really bought light to how terrible all of those nasty drugs were, i had almost all of the side effects from the synto, peth and gas - retained placenta, bubby wasn't breathing, bubby got reaalllly bad jaundice.

I really want a natural birth, somedays i feel soo confident about it, and other days i have doubt. Especially when i get comments like "yeah.. good luck with that! *sarcasm*". It makes me want to 'keep hush' about my intentions, incase i do fail and people comment on how i failed - is that a common feeling?

Thank you again, i really appeciate your thoughts and advice xx

Thank you Sasha
I love hearing people say that their 2nd birthing experience was more enjoyable - really does build my confidence :p

Will get back to you soon about mine - sooner, rather than later, I hope ;)

Thankyou Maya ;)
Good luck with it all, can't wait to read your BA

You're not alone. This is my third and I find myself having moments of overwhelming fears...my last two were both induced with syntocin, both were 12 hour labours and both had their fairly serious complications. I have spent the past 8.5 months getting my headspace right....being completely positive, trying (against the wishes of both my GP and OB, who either want to induce or CS me :rolleyes:) to trust my body to do the right thing this time and RELAX. On the whole, it's working. But I still have moments of pure panic...my memories are still raw from the last one (people who say memories fade don't know what they're talking about :shakehead:)

I guess we just have to keep the mind-over-matter thing going as much as possible, eh? Keep trusting our bodies and keep that positive mind-frame going. We can do it!! :dance:

Hey TT. Having a natural birth is totally do-able - but be really canny about your choices eh. Maya Angelou wrote, "If I don't know my choices, I don't have any" and "When you know better, you do better." Having a goal of a natural birth and going straight back into the same system that practices according to the obstetric philosophy, not the natural birth or midwifery philosophy, is highly likely to give you the same sort of experience as the first time round. The only difference is likely to be that you might be less compliant and put up slightly more of a fight, and that you will have more awareness of just how much you are being ripped off and fobbed off. But going in all militant, with a kick-ass birth plan that is full of stuff diametrically opposed to the way they like to practice, the way they usually get away with without too much opposition, is not going to create the kind of ambience that's going to lend itself to you being optimally relaxed, trusting and able to open for birth.

That is one reason why many women 'cave' or compromise once they walk through those doors ... on some level they know that getting fiesty and putting up a fight could cause conflict or *disapproval* that they sense will inhibit their labour. Also your birth hormones that are flooding through your body condition you to be soft, yielding and non-confrontational so that you can fully surrender to birth - that is why many women find they are not as assertive as they usually are during labour. It's the hormones - not to mention fatigue and possibly sleep deprivation - and sometimes dehydration or the effects of pain relief drugs to boot. All the more reason to set up a birth location for yourself, on your own terms, surrounded only by people you trust implicitly - so that deep in your sould you *know* that it is safe to let go and let birth happen. You got to be really hard-nosed and assertive BEFORE the birth, when you are making your choices and setting up a safe space to birth in - SO that you can be soft and yielding and totally uninhibited when you're going through labour and opening up to let the baby through.

So at the very least, consider hiring a doula (there's a beaut doula in your state called Claire Aslangul, she is in Gold Coast). Better still, hire your own independent midwife. They attend hospital or birth centre births as well, not just homebirths. I know these options are unfortunately rather exxy, but in the words of L'Oreal: You're Worth It! It's an investment into the well-being of yourself, your bub and your whole family.

Being informed does help, but I've been at too many births with women who are very well informed and they still got steam-rolled by the cascade, the hospital policy, the Active Management of Labour and the dead baby card. I don't mean to be negative here but just saying it like it is so you will be fore-warned.

Other strategies that may help are staying at home and doing the work of labour in your own home, ideally with the support of a doula or IM, and timing it so you arrive at the hospy fully dilated.

A good birth plan *can* help, but choosing a birth place and careproviders who don't need a birth plan because they practice gentle birth techniques routinely and provide personalised care based on a relationship between you and your chosen midwife, is better. What do you think about a birth centre?

Then there's always homebirth - the easiest way to avoid clashing with the obsetric mindset and to have the freedom to do it at your own pace, with maximum privacy.

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I was induced with DD after my waters broke and 12 hours later i hadn't had any contractions

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It sounds to me like someone was really preying on your naivety. Most obstetric hospitals have a protocol of waiting at least 18 hours for contractions to start after SROM (spontaneous rupture of membranes) and the literature states that most women go into labour with 3 days of SROM. 12 hours is nothing - they didn't give you any kind of a chance. What reason did they give you for inducing you?

At my third birth, I had a midwife attempting to scare me into going into hospital to be induced because my waters has been broken for 16 hours. She trotted out the 18 hour thing and said I needed to be on anti-biotics after 18 hours. So we decided to stay home and see if we could get into active labour during the two hours we got left. The baby was born exactly 10 minutes before her arbitrary 18-hour deadline, she arrived at the door just as the baby was crowning. But what if my body had wanted to wait a few more days before kicking into labour? Most independent midwives are willing to support a woman on a day by day basis. They discuss the management of prolonged rupture of membranes (PROM) which may involved extra Vitamin C, Echinacea, garlic, no baths only showers, no sex or VEs, careful hygiene, drinking lots of water, perhaps going into hospital for daily CTG monitoring of the baby and ultra-sound checking of the amniotic fluid levels, keeping a kick chart, and discussing the option of oral or IV anti-biotics. I know a woman who had PROM for 10 days before both her labours started. Earlier this year, one of my clients had PROM for 5 days before, under intense pressure from the hospital, she consented to medical induction with synto (she was getting pretty tired after 3 nights of contractions which fizzled out during the day - actually that's not unusual and a good sign - but she was feeling pretty over it.) This is the same mama who did give birth vaginally but ended up in theatre for a manual removal of placenta.

If you do a search on the usual management of PROM, you'll see that there is no emphatic rule about when/if to induce, and at the end of the day if the mother is well and the baby is well, it should be your choice. Here's an info sheet from Maternity Coalition about PROM.

TT - Believe me, at first, I was hyped up to the max for the birth and labour - now I'm just s**t scared!

Good luck with your upcoming birth, I hope it's not traumatic for you :hug:

TT - Believe me, at first, I was hyped up to the max for the birth and labour - now I'm just s**t scared!

Good luck with your upcoming birth, I hope it's not traumatic for you :hug:

Yes hun, you CAN do this.

Be excited!! Be confident and KNOW that your body knows what to do and TRUST your body! ;)

I had a drug free natural birth and labour (not even gas)( and she was posterior too!!!) as that is what i had planned for and mentally prepared myself for..... I think a few factors come into consideration with births and some things are out of our control and a few things are in our control also if you know what i mean.... like the way we "think". We have control over our minds. They are very powerful..... more powerful than we can begin to imagine.

Let the fear go.... embrace the exciting experience that is about to happen and let your body do it's thing.....

LizJessie - good luck hun!!!! Can't wait to hear the news!!!!! :D

Hi TT

I just wanted to let you know that I also share your fears going into labour 2nd time round. I was also induced for the birth of my DS as he was 9 days overdue. I was really happy with the labour up until it came time for the after birth. I also had a retained placenta that needed to be removed manually under GA. I missed the first 4 hours of my son's life and even writing that down hurts. Luckily enough I didn't need a blood transfusion! However 2 months after his birth I went back to the hospital concerned about continued bleeding they had a look and told me it was not that much and would stop when it was ready. A further month went by and i was not well, couldn't get out of bed I thought I was suffering post natal depression. Finaly I went to a private OB and he arranged an US, It turned out I had further retained products causing me to be very sick. I had a D&C the next day. I felt so much better almost immediatly.

And now here I am for #2 and i am so so scare. I am 20 weeks and it is keeping me up at night. I decided to go private this time because the care i received through the public system was ordinady to say the least. My OB is trying to reassure me that it will be ok but at every appointment i just seem to want to go back over what happened and how to stop it happening again. My biggest fear, dare i say it is that it happens again and they can't stop the bleeding and I know the option in that situation are limited and not at all positive. I want to enjoy this pregnancy but i am spending most of it being terrified.

The one thing i do know this time round, i will be in control and i will not just blindly trust doctors, they are fantastic they save lives, but they are also human and they make mistakes.

I wish you all the best for the birth of your bub, I pray everything goes perfectly and you are able to come back and report a positive birth story following a retained placenta:D

GOOD LUCK and thank you for being so honest about your fears:clap:

Hey ladies! I was not induced for my first birth, so my experience won't be quite like yours, but it was a fast, hard, intense birth. I went from no contractions to birth in seven hours. At 6:00am or thereabouts, I woke up and felt the first pain. They came every five minutes from then on. By 9:30 we were at the hospital. I was only about 1-2 cm then. DD was born at 1:30 pm. So things progressed quite quickly, and I was overwhelmed and panicky during transition especially. I had a shot of narcotic then, which helped me to relax. I had a good birth - no tearing, no placenta issues, and breastfeeding began immediately afterwards. So again, I won't try to compare my situation with yours exactly. But my first labour and birth was definitely more of a rough ride than my second.
My second baby girl was also born relatively quickly - about a 7 hour labour again. But I felt much more in control. After a few hours of labour, I asked them to break my water, and had a shot of pain reliever first (demerol). Maybe I'd make a different choice now, but it made me feel more in control, I think. However, I'll tell you this - the narcotic shot does not touch the pain, really. You just don't seem to care that it hurts anymore. Anyways, DD2 was born within about 45 minutes of breaking my water.
My third baby was born at home. I had a long "pro-dromal" stage of labour - light labour all day, and then 2 hours of hard labour. No pain relief - all natural birth.
Fourth baby born after about 3 hours of intense labour. No pain relief - another all natural birth.

So, yes - second (and third and fourth) babies are generally easier. And natural birth is DEFINITELY a real possibility.

What you need is a doula, I think. Someone who will sit down with you, discuss your fears and your wishes for this birth. Someone who will stay with you in labour and help you stay focussed. Someone who can make suggestions for pain relief and help you relax. Someone who will advocate for you in labour and keep you from going through unnecessary interventions. I'd highly recommend that you investigate that possibility! If finances are an issue, student doulas need to attend a certain number of births before they are certified, and as far as I know, they offer their services for free.
Hope you have a wonderful birth experience this time around! All the best! :hug: