Article: Breast is best for my son, 3

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Breast is best for my son, 3
HANNAH DAVIES
19mar06

JAKE Torepe can barely contain his excitement as he peeps down his mum's shirt to find she isn't wearing a bra.

"I wanna feed, I wanna feed," he cries, abandoning his toy cars to pester Rachel for "mummy's milk".

He'll be four in August and ready for pre-school, but Rachel said he can breastfeed for as long as he likes. "Both Jake and I really enjoy breastfeeding. It gives us the chance to have a cuddle and bond," she said. "If he wants a feed he pesters me and follows me around . . .
it's a real treat and I know it's good for him."

Rachel, 38, of Westlake in Brisbane's west, is one of an invisible group of mothers who practise "extended breastfeeding" – defined as feeding a child after 12 months. They believe children should never be forcibly weaned, but should decide for themselves when to surrender the breast.
In the US, these mothers belong to associations such as the Militant Breastfeeding Cult and Inciteful Mamas. They breastfeed exclusively to six months, continue beyond a year and hate dummies, cots and prams; while breast, sling and mum and dad's bed are best.

In Australia, extended breastfeeders are less aggressive and prefer to hide "behind closed doors", according to Dr Karleen Gribble, a University of Western Sydney researcher, who carried out Australia's first study of mums who breastfeed beyond infancy.

She found one of the reasons toddlers enjoy breastfeeding is that they like the taste of breast milk. "The children made comments like: 'I like cuddling mummy, it's my treat' or breastmilk tastes 'as good as chocolate' and 'better than ice cream'Â ", said Dr Gribble.

Three-year-old Grace Moss said she loves the "creamy flavour". And mum Amanda, 40, of Bardon, in Brisbane's inner-west, is only too happy to oblige. "I breastfed my first child Isabella until she was four years and five months so I'm going to see how long Grace will feed for," she said.
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The Australian Breastfeeding Association recommends that babies are fed breast milk exclusively in the first six months of life, to help prevent them from becoming obese in adulthood.

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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I think that is a bit too long. I know there are probably some women here who would be quite happy to breastfeed their children for that long, but for me, it is not something I would even consider. IMO there are other ways to be close to your child and to have quality time with them. I also think of the social ramifications of feeding for so long. You would have to be totally comfortable doing it in public so you could put up with the nasty comments you would get, and what about when the child starts preschool and they say they still get breastfed? Kids can be cruel these days and it is not right to possibly put that on you kids IYKWIM? Especially considering a high percentage of babies are not even fed until the recommended 6 months anymore (and I am guilty of that).

But in saying that, to each his own.

It's not for me either :) Two years was enough for me with Ris.

We had a woman at playgroup who still b/fed her 3 year old as well. She had no problems telling the world about it. She kept feeding her right through her 4th pregnancy, but she left playgroup shortly before the baby was born, so dunno if her daughter stopped or not.

She never had b/milk at playgroup though.

Love

Yeah I don't think I could do it either :-s But kudos to those that can.

*hugs*
Cailin

I obviously am waiting to have my first so maybe I'm not in the greatest position to comment but I don't think its something I would consider. Its great hearing other peoples opinions about it though. Very interesting topic Kelly =D>

well i'm one who has done it zak was nearly 4 when he decided to wean. i never bf in public after he was about 1, we never talked about it unless with other women who do it too cos it tends to make people feel uncomfortable (can't understand it but respect it) and it was the best thing i could do for him. josh weaned himself at 2 and who knows how long oscar will go for. happy to go with the flow.

beckles

I had always thought if I was lucky enough to be able to feed Indah I would do it til she was 6 months... I have no idea how, why or when I decided 6 months, but heck it came around way to quickly & I am so not ready to give up, so I am still feeding & was talking to my friend whose daughter is 5 days older & we are both really enjoying the feeding times (I am back at work F/T) so express daily at work & give those bottles to whomever is having her the following day...
I was giving her a night time bottle of formula but recently have given her a bottle of EBM at end of day so I know she is full when she goes to bed...
Anyways my friend & I said 6 months went so fast, what if the next 6 months goes as fast & we arent ready!!!???
She said she will probably feed early mornings & night time & if child wnats to during the day at home, but when out give milk in a cup as kids start to need less, plus she said she'd hide her maternity bras on the line!!! hee hee

I hadnt actually thought about it, but have decided I will let Indah wean, not me wean her!
Although we are hoping to start TTC #3 from July this year so will see how it all goes!!!
But I also hope I am not still expressing daily in 12 months time!!! :rolleyes:

I feel anything over 2 is too long for myself to continue breastfeeding, it may suit some but it`s not for me.

But then what I`m doing atm probably makes some people`s skin crawl, each to their own.

Yep - too long for me too, but hats off to those that do it!

I think I'll be doing it for another few months yet, but not demand feeding as such. Morning, night and overnight if upset. I'm happy with that.

I always thought that feeding until 2 was the best thing for Matilda, now I didn't get that far, but I hope to hold out longer with number 2. I dunno if I could do 4years though :-k My friend recently fed her little girl until just after she turned 3 and I didn't think that was weird or unusual.... I guess its our perceptions too.

I'm very pro breastfeeding babies and have breastfed all of my children, my first 2 for not long enough (6weeks & 5 Months), my 3rd up to 18 months and my 4th to 10 months (Biting, oowwweee, not nice, had to stop).

IMO I think children need to learn other means of comfort. It's no longer about providing nutrition and a little love and comfort. I think it becomes about the woman's need for love and comfort. Not a healthy relationship IMO. Recently read an article in a magazine about 2 women who B/F their children one fed her girls to the ages of 8 and 9 the other was still feeding her 5 year old son. This is all just my opinion.
Ta Dee
:lol:

dee i feel really sad you have made the following comments as i breastfed my children until 2, nearly 4 and oscar is still going strong. i feel offended and upset when you said -

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I think it becomes about the woman's need for love and comfort. Not a healthy relationship IMO.

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i feel sad that that is your belief. my breastfeeding relationships were never about my needs at all, always about what my baby needed and following my child's cues to when they were ready to wean themselves. i am sorry you are sickened by giving the best to a baby/child and research has shown that extended breastfeeding has many benefits both physically and emotionally. perhaps you might like to research a little more and understand why some women choose to allow their children to wean when they are ready.

beckles

Me personally I think that going past 18mths - 2yrs is totally unnesecary, they're past it for the nutrients and immunity part, so that's my 2 cents worth.

BUT I'd never ever critise or suggest anything to a mother who is still breatfeeding past that either. It's up to every individual person.

Apparently the world average weaning age is between three and four years.

Now that my son is 1, breastfeeding is not a prob, he feeds heaps less (so it's not like a newborn needing milk every hour or so...) and is MUCH quicker about it. Plus its the best way to get him to sleep!

Originally I thought I'd start slowing down around 18 months, and aim to wean at 2, but we both love it SO much, I think I'll just let him decide when he's had enough (although if I ever feel I've had enough, I may gently encourage him to wean...)

I also find it offensive to say that its not a healthy relationship. The WHO recommends babies feed up till they're 2 because of the huge amount of immunilogical and health benefits, however, it doesn';t mean that these benefits STOP at 2, just that they lessen in response to other factors (ie a healthy solids diet).

If people choose to wean older toddlers/children, that's their decision. If you see it as something gross, that's your problem! I think its sad that many people don't feed in public once their kids are over 1 or 18 months. It's something we need to see more of so that society can get used to it.

thanks hayley i was feeling very isolated here for a while. the other thing i was going to say is that this is a 'gentle forum' and the blurb states "infant-led feeding to infant-led weaning (which is what i did only it took longer than your prescribed ok time limit of 18 months), share your experiences and advice on feeding your baby here" i believe we need to be careful about how we word what we say so not to offend others. if i had written in the same language as you dee about say, formula feeding , that it was wrong and it sickened me (which is NOT my opinion by the way) but if i had written this there would have been alot of people outraged and upset, and rightly so but this is about breastfeeding and it seems like you think it is ok to say these things. i am very upset by this.

beckles

Oh beckles, I am sorry that you feel upset. I am sure this was not Kelly's intention when she posted the article!

It was not intended for anyone to feel upset.

Can I just remind everyone that these forums to show support towards others?

This forum is a place to show support, or share experiences & ideas about people who choose to infant led wean/extended BF.

I feel that it is innapropriate to be criticising these methods in a forum that is set up for the support of the mothers that do extend BF.

Its fine to disagree and have your own opinion about it, but please be sensitive when posting in here, as it can be upsetting for people if they feel their choices are being critiscised.

A reminder that we ask all of you to read THIS post prior to posting in the gentle parenting forums.

I post certain topics and articles in here as I know that it may seem too 'out there' for some people - I started this section because I didn't like posting things that I liked to do elsewhere and get answers of routine and everything but gentle parenting.

So please think before you post, this is a special place for gentle parenters and you are welcome to post opinions but please do not label them with emotions - it's not fair to judge anyone's parenting efforts.

Personally I am very over breastfeeding my son who is 18mths, but I keep going because I believe that he will wean in his own time and it will be soon anyway. It seems important to him now and I will keep going, despite people wondering why - it's just become so abnormal to breastfeed a toddler to some! Marisa weaned when she was 2.

i feel alot better now and kelly well done on continuing feeding elijah i know it's hard when we have different ideas than our bubbas. nellbe the article didn't upset me at all. it was interesting, thanks kelly for posting it.

sorry i was feeling a little sensitive there 8-[ , i can't even blame my hormones cos i aint got AF yet!

love beckles

Sometimes some things get put into perspective, Elijah spent the whole night screaming upset. I tried settling him for most of the night, run out of panadol so couldn't give him that, he had a fever and wouldn't breastfeed for long and was just beside himself. Tried getting a locum but they had no panadol nor antibiotics they could offer anyway. It got ridiculous so I went into emergency as I had a feeling he had an ear infection as he was screaming 'sore' and covered his ears.

When we got to hospital, he did have an ear infection and they gave him some paracetamol, as well as codeine and nurofen as he was that upset. I then offered him the breast and after a night of no sleep for both of us, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he had a feed and fell completely asleep, dead to the world.

It was one of those really moving moments where I was so glad to still be breastfeeding :)

I am desperately hoping to be abe to bf next baby, I wasnt able to with Jackson, was never showed how to do it properly and he never learnt as he is an extremely lazy sucker, I was in pain for months and he was not getting enough milk.

I can see myself bf until upto about 18 months, past that I myself would not be comfortable with, but I dont find anything offensive about bf pas 2yo. I do think 8 or 9 years old is going a tad too far! there would definately be some social issues coming into play I would think.

"It was one of those really moving moments where I was so glad to still be breastfeeding "

Well said.......I LOVE those moments and you feel SOOOOOO good!

Beckles you have misinterpreted what I said, My critisim was for the women in the article I read, not anyone in this forum. As I stated I am very pro breastfeeding Babies.

However setting aside the topic, this is a forum, in which I believed we were feel free to be able to express our opinions. I don't believe I was nasty or singled anyone out, I just gave an opinion, I am sorry that you are offended by my opinion and also extend that to anyone else who maybe offended, if we all had the same opinions it would be very boring indeed, if it makes you feel better I will ask the mods to remove my posts from in here. I don't mind and I won't be offended.

If this was an inappropriate place to voice my opinion, I'm sorry( not for my opinion but for where I voiced it) please remove my posts as I'm sure it will make the regular posters of this thread more comfortable if it was removed.
Ta Dee

Dee, I haven't removed your post but I have edited it. I think it's unfair to use such strong words as 'sickening' when it comes to someone's parenting choices, especially when they think they are doing the best thing for their own child. As you would read in the announcement post about these forums, I created the gentle ones so I could post and not feel judged about my choices as a gentle parent, of course everyone else too. I welcome you to say you don't agree and voice your opinion, but please don't make it more personal than that, it defeats the purpose of having these here - who is going to feel comfortable posting in the gentle parenting forums when they know someone posts who feels sickened by what they do?

Lets move on now, if anyone has any further comment or issue with this topic, please email me off forum.