Hats off to single Mums (and Dads)

Ever since DD was born I've been thinking about how much tougher this gig would be if I didn't have a really supportive and involved partner. For the past 2 hours DH and I have been playing tag-team trying to get DD to sleep. I'm still quite calm as I have 'relief' when it all gets too frustrating or stressful but I know how frazzled and 'over it' I have become when I've had to do it by myself.

Everything... shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, nappies, dealing with tears and even finding the energy to be fun and play is made a little easier by having back-up. I hope that doesn't come across as in some way boastful that I have a partner. That's not my intention at all. It's just that this experience keeps reminding me how lucky I am and how much harder I would have to work if I were a single Mum.

So I just wanted to take my hat off to you single Mummies. You are AMAZING and I am in awe of you. :clap:

well
to be honest , to me anways, it makes me feel like you came here to gloat
im sitting here think ' weel isnt she lucky;
i know u said that was not at all how it was intended
but im sorry that is how it makes me feel

Thanks Kat, I think it's really nice when someone aknowledges how hard it can be...and it is hard but it someways its easier. It's not easier if you have someone you love and who is a help but it is easier if the other person you have with you is more of a hinderence! For me it's way easier being a single Mum then putting up with XDH and his crap!

I think a lot of people don't want to moan (I mean really, who wants to hear it??) so it's nice when someone says "well done". When my Mum came over if I had a bit of a moan she would say "wow you'd think you're the only person who'd ever had 3 kids" :( Erm well she did and she was married, didn't work and had 2 sets of Grandparents to help...

Anyway I digress...I don't think you came accross in that way at all...so thank you!

I agree! There are days I count the hours until DH arrives home from work and if he is caught up at work i think Grrrrr.......

Single parents by choice or not - well done!!!! :clap::clap::clap:

xxxx

Cmama, I know you are having a rough trot lately :hug: but I can vouch for our Santosha - she is a lovely lady and not the gloating type.

Ta Kat! It's not easy sometimes...but there are distinct advantages sometimes ;)

xoxoxoxo

I did not get that vibe at all,
As Lulu said - thanks :) but sometimes it isnt easy!! but most of the time i think i wouldnt have it any other way!!!

Thanks Santosha:hug:, it is hard at times but i wouldnt change it for the world...i see it like this if i was still with my ex... it would just be like having another child to look after lol ;)

No in all seriousness i think the positives of being a single parent outweigh the negatives..for me anyway.
Sometimes we only pay attention to the negatives and dont enjoy the positives as a result the negatives take over..(i have no idea if that made any sense but it did in my head lol)

:clap: I say hats off to you too! My mum was a single parent and had no family support so I have seen first hand how tough it can be at times. I think you all do a wonderful job!

Sometimes i worry about this place :rolleyes:

But i agree, hats off. I don't think i'd be able to do it.

i too am in awe of how single parents manage. My husband has recently been away for 2 weeks and to be honest i didn't cope well at all. I had an 7 month old not sleeping as well as a rowdy toddler who is up and full of beans at 6.30. Living on 4 hours broken sleep is hard work, but NEVER getting a break from the kids is really tough on a person. I had a few meltdowns and moments of 'i just can't do this anymore'. I am quietly freaking out because he is going in another two weeks for 3 weeks.

I take my hat off to all the single parents out, you do an amazing job holding your families together.

And cmama i too have met Santosha and she is a very kind and gentle person, her comments, as are mine, are heartfelt, meant to give you a pat on the back, not make you feel bad. :hug:

Thanks Santosha and everyone else :)
Definitely didnt get any nasty vibe from that darl.

Well thankyou my love. It is damn hard sometimes - but sometimes it is easier when there is no FOTY to complicate the day!

I only heard kudos from you - and I thankyou for being such a generous spirit to give those who have a different situation thought. You rock! :hug:

I too take my hat off to those who go it alone. I am contantly amazed at the single mothers I know who are always so positive and happy dispite doing tough at times. It makes me realise I am so lucky and they in turn encourage me to be more positive. You are all awesome mummys and your children are indeed blessed!!

I agree too I often think and say how amazing you all are!!!!!

*** WONDERFUL & heartfelt said thread Santosha :heartbeat:

............ i have many friends whom are single parents & i seriously DO all i can as a friend to help them in anyway i can ... i tell them what an amazing job they do & praise them when i can see they need to also hear it, as they do tell me not many people feel as i do towards them & it means the world to them to just hear it even once in awhile.

i can't explain how much admiration i have for single Mums & Dad's too, to be both parents & do it ALL is just amazing.

Even though my Mum wasn't a single parent she might as well been as my Dad was never around, he would go to work then head straight to the pub to get drunk & spend most of his income & come home after midnight when we as kids/teens were in bed. I just never saw Dad hardly ever even though we lived in the same house. I watched my Mum often depressed having to do everything on her own, mowing lawns ... just everything & the financial struggle on a day to day basis was heartbreaking to watch her go through it. Mum would go without shoes to make sure us kids didn't suffer.

So, YES my hat goes off to ALL single parents :clap:

i totally agree. i hate it when dh goes away for the weekend or is late home from work. single mummas are awesome.

Thanks for starting this one, Santosha :) Many times I have wanted to start a similar thread myself but have worried that it may come across as being boastful or smug, when my intention is anything but... I think you and the other girls have put it very well!

Single mummies (and daddies)... you guys RULE. I struggle every day with my two kids and I am extremely fortunate to have my (sometimes not-so-wonderful) DH around to take the pressure off when things get too much for me. I cannot fathom the sleepless nights, the teething troubles, the toddler tantrums, the trips to the grocery stores, etc etc etc, without a LOT of help. You all are AMAZING women (and men) for being both mum and dad to your kids, for making huge sacrifices to ensure their safety and wellbeing, and dealing with the day-to-day grind with nobody to cry to at the end of a difficult day. I absolutely would take my hat off to you if I ever wore one, I look pretty stupid in hats. Big, BIG round of applause from me to you guys :) Keep up the great work!

Oh gosh ive said this often!!! I was baby sitting a neighbours 1yr old had my DSD (4 at the time) and had a dog that wouldnt walk and had to manage us all into the car to the vet all by myself! Not fun!

Great job ladies & gentlemen!! :clap:

Cmama I apologise if my thread came across as boastful and upset you. It certainly was not my intention. Like others have said, I've thought this often but had been apprehensive to post it lest it be perceived this way. But I truly, truly mean what I said. I don't know how you guys do it and I think you're amazing. I sometimes feel the same way when talking to my friend who's a single Mum. I find myself editing what I say about DH being a help as I have 'survivor guilt' - I feel bad that in many ways I have it so good when she's doing it tough. But she's very matter of fact about it. 'It is what it is' and she apart from needing an extra pair of arms attached, she says she wouldn't have it any other way!

Having grown up in a very dysfunctional family, I know it is certainly the case that a family can be much happier and more harmonious without the stress that can come from a problematic relationship. But happier or not, I can only imagine that it's really really exhausting trying to juggle everything sometimes.

I'm so glad others share my thoughts. Go single Mums - You ROCK!

Kat ... just wanted you to know there was a similar thread by member **Sunshine** back in July this year ... under - I take my hat off to all single parents !!

.... be rest assured Kat it was taken in a very positive light by all that posted :D

Thanks for the kudos ladies.

In my case, I have been single since 6 weeks pregnant with my first, and there were times in the beginning when I doubted whether I could get through it. But when it comes down to it, there is no choice but to get through it, so my attitude is now to make the very best of it and focus on all the positives. Being a single Mum can actually be a blessing in many ways I have found.

My wish for single Mothers is that society become more aware that we exist, and that there is no longer a pity or stigma associated with single parenting. Women (and men) of all ages, all socio-economic backgrounds and from all kinds of families can become single Mothers/parents for whatever reason.

I for one have found that whilst going through my pregnancy, I have encountered many people who make me feel embarrassed or ashamed for a situation that I certainly didn't chose for myself, and i'd be lying if I said that didn't effect me. My Dr told me that my child would be unhappy unless I find her a Dad, and a midwife told me i'm at a higher risk of post-natal depression for being single.

When preparing to be a single Mother we need encouragement and strength that we can still raise happy, healthy, fulfilled, successful children, not statistics on how likely we are to fail.

Sorry for the rant, and this is directed in no one in particular, I just hope that people in society stop assuming that all mothers-to-be have a partner, and that single pregnant women/mothers can enjoy this amazing journey as much as any other woman.

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Thanks for the kudos ladies.

My wish for single Mothers is that society become more aware that we exist, and that there is no longer a pity or stigma associated with single parenting. Women (and men) of all ages, all socio-economic backgrounds and from all kinds of families can become single Mothers/parents for whatever reason.

I for one have found that whilst going through my pregnancy, I have encountered many people who make me feel embarrassed or ashamed for a situation that I certainly didn't chose for myself, and i'd be lying if I said that didn't effect me.

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Such a fantatsic point :clap: i can definatly relate to that.