Frustrated about talking

I'm getting very frustrated, and I know I need to be patient. My little man is not talking yet, and should be. Our community nurse has refured him to a speach therapist, but we haven't heard from them yet.
What is really getting to me is that he's not even trying. He doesn't mimic words, he makes absolutly no attemp at all. He points. He makes "MMmmmmm" or "AAhhhhh" noises. "OOoooooo" MUMumumummmmmmm" Dadadadaaaaaa" and that's it.
I think I'm just having a vent, but .... RRRRRRRRGH! I'M SO Frustrated!!!

Oh hun I sympathis with you! My lil man is 17 months and his vocab has gone backwards... he had about 20 words and a few phrases and now it's all jibber jabber jibberish! He even understands commands and requests in Italian but won't talk ARGH!! I am particularly annoyed at people saying "OH but he's a boy" Well why the hell could he talk before perhaps it's more than being "a boy" he's a damn stubborn male. And yes we get the grunts and groans and pointing too UG! But when you ask him to get an apple from the fruit bowl, he can pick out the apple from the other fruit - he knows what it is but won't say it..... :wall::wall::wall: He barely even says Mummy or Daddy any more :( Will be asking for a referral to a SP come his 18month checkup but I know it will take at least another 3 months to see one :doh: Best of luck with your DS!!!!! Will keep an eye out for updates!!

Thanks Tan,
That's exactly what I'm dealing with! I even get the same comments. I try so hard to encourage gim... but to no avail. You may have to talk to your nurse too...
I hope it's just a "boy thing". For both of us. :hug:
Any sugestions form anyone on how we can encourage our kids farther?

Sorry not really!!! They just do it when they want to??? My DS was nearly 3 before he really spoke, then you could'nt stop him!!!! My maternal health nurse even suggested that we see a pead, she thought he had mild autism:o Nothing wrong with him he just could'nt be bothered??? It was a shock after my oldest DD who was talking well before 12 months.. My littlest DD is 14 months and only says mum mumma, bubba and squeals, unfortunaletly we all know what she wants and her older siblings snap into gear whenever she grunts /points and they all leave the building when she screams /squeals, because it means someone is harrasing her!!!:doh:
It'II all be okay just time.

I'm having the same problem with my ds and he's almost two. I think we'll be seeing a speech therapist in January. No advice, I jsut wanted to give you a :hug:. I know how very frustrating it is.

FWIW, they do reckon boys talk much later than girls- they just aren't as verbal- but I have to agree with Tan- it's male stubborness :lol:

:hug:

I've been going through the same thing with my 2 year old!

We took him to a speech pathologist a few months ago and they put him on the waiting list for group therapy. He has no problem with comprehension either, its just saying the words he has had trouble with.

He does seem to be talking a lot more in the last week or two though.

my eldest did not speak until he was 2.5years, at which point I took him to a chiropracter who made a small adjustment in his neck and he started talking within 10 minutes! His was an unusually goos success story, but chiro's can help if you are worried.

My 22 month old boy is not speaking at all yet, although his twin sister is, so I am taking him to a chiro next week to see if she can help.

That's crazy, can a chiro really make that much difference?? Wow.

My bub (haha, he's not really a bub) is 3 and booked in for a hearing test and speech therapy. He doesn't have a whole lot of words. He doesn't pronounce his words all that well, so I'm really keen to see what comes of this hearing test.

So :hug: I know how frustrating it is. When they get so frustrated as well when they know we don't understand them. You have my sympathy.

Awww Lisa :hug:...

Liam frustrates me a bit too - and he's got more words than most boys his age!

I know a few other boys at our kids age who aren't saying any words either (I mean NONE). It IS apparently a boy thing... :shakehead: the girls their age are doing full sentences!

We just have to trust that the boys will talk when they're ready. The pretty much all do. Some later than others, that's all! We might have to be patient, I'm afraid! :doh:

Thanks Toni.
I know I need to be patient. The really frustrating thing is that I HEARD his talk! I've heard him say words VERY clearly, and so have others! But He just wont. He never says the same word twice. He's said "flower", "turtle", "dog", "duck", "Wheel", "car", ..... and we never hear it again! No matter how hard we try to encourage him. I really feel...:wall:

Another thought is - our son's a perfectionist and hates making mistakes so if I say 'say fan' and he says 'jan' and I say 'no, Fan' - that is the end of the world pretty much. He gets so upset. So I either say 'oooh that's pretty close, well done, FFan' or 'almost! Great job - you said FFFFFan' - so he's encouraged but I also demonstrate how to say it properly again. Or if you want him to say it again, perhaps you can say 'ohh that was great, can you show Dad how you say xxx'? That might work, and help your son feel like he's doing well and getting it right.

:

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I've heard him say words VERY clearly, and so have others! But He just wont. He never says the same word twice.

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We bought Liam the Upsy Daisy doll on a shopping trip once. When we gave it to him, he very clearly said 'Upsy Daisy' - about 4 times (enough for both of us to be SURE he was saying it). Since then he will only say 'Daish' for the doll - no matter how hard I try!

I think Hunter is being very normal (either that, or both our boys are strange! :rofl: )

Have you had his hearing tested? Might be something to look into as well as being assessed for speech therapy. I know what it's like - my third child hardly spoke at all and she had very few words by the age of 2. Didn't help that her bossy older sister liked to speak for her all the time as well. She didn't really start talking till about 2.5 and was very hard to understand. we had her speech assessed at 4 as she wasn't improving as she got older and we've been seeing a speechie for just over 12 months and she's doing so well now. And it's hard when you know they have it in them but just can't do it and you know how much easier life would be for all of you if they would just talk.

:hug: for you, I hope you can get into the speechie soon and start working on this.

My DD2 also had me worried. She wasn't talking by 18 months & I got more & more worried.
When she was 3 I booked her in for speech therapy, but it didn't start til she was 4 & that was after we moved away. She's picking up slowly, but is no where near others her age. DS at 20 months is saying sounds that she can't say!

Hearing test is a good idea too. DD1 had hearing problems, & it did affect her speech in the end. She had grommits done at 5 & her speech picked up & is pretty much perfect now with no help at all.

My brother didn't speak at all til he was over 2. Then started with sentences straight up. Mum had heaps of hearing tests & things done, but they did nothing. He spoke when he was ready, lol.

I'm with you all- no real words here at almost 18 months. We have referrals for hearing tests and speechies as well....hoping he starts to talk soon!

Hi Ladies

Just some tips on encouraging language in your kiddies - apologies if these are really obivous. I think sometimes these kind of tips are obvious but you just need to be reminded...

I undertand that this can be really really frustrating and worrisome but try not to do to much "Say this" or "Say that" or other 'pushing' to speak - even though it's the automatic thing to do!

Things that can help your child to speak -

Commentary - at first this will sound awkward but try to run a commentary on your activities. Mummy is brushing her hair and now we're going out of the bathroom to go put our shoes on before we head out etc etc. This will feel very weird and forced the first few times, but keep perserving.

Explanation and extension - When your child attempts communication - such as pointing, grunting, vocalisations react as if they have spoken e.g Oh you want the apple? Lets get the apple out of the fruit bowl. Here's the apple - it's such a green and shiny apple. Extend any of their communicative attempts such as "mummmm" - "Oh, you're saying "mummy pick me up please".
Explain what is happening around the child.

Good luck and I hope your DD and DS start to talk your pants off soon

xx

My DD is only 6 months old, not exactly talking yet. My suggestion, while you wait for your appointments with professionals, is to read the book Baby Talk by Sally Ward.

I bought it because my sister (who has a very talkative 2yo) recommended it. It was written by a speech specialist (not sure what the technical term is for that profession - someone who helps kids learn to speak better). It has suggestions for how to encourage your child's speech from newborn to 4 or 5 years old, the idea is that you take the point they are at in their speech development (not their age) and go from that stage.

I've only read up to the stuff for babies of 6-12 months, but some of it surprised me. Things I remember offhand are:

- Set aside time each day, 1:1 with the baby, with no distractions like TV or music or other people talking, for playing time that focuses on talking things.

- Follow the focus of the child's attention, don't try to refocus their attention on stuff that has bored them. Even if they want a different toy every 10 seconds, it's important for them to be able to choose the direction of play (I would never have guessed that this matters for language development).

- talk about what they are doing and what you are doing, in simple and short sentences, with lots of repetition. "You're playing with your boat. Look at your boat. It's your green boat. Your boat is in the water. ..." Try to talk about the focus of their attention, not the focus of your attention.

- do use "baby talk". The high-pitched, kinda "silly" way that we mostly naturally speak to our babies in, actually makes it easier for them to learn to tell one word from another when they are all jammed together in a sentence. Apparently it's a learning tool.

- Repeat back to them what kind of things they say, sometimes elaborate on that. So if they say "ma ma ma!" you say "ma ma ma" back, but sometimes say "ma ma ma ma mooo". This ought to get delight from them (works with DD).

- don't try to get them to imitate what you say. It apparently doesn't work (I would never have guessed that).

Anyway, that's only some of the stuff I've read so far - the things I remember offhand. DD is at the " ma ma ma ba ba ga ga" stage, and I haven't read further than that in the book. But it's an easy read and has suggestions for lots of games to play and so on. I think it's worth a read for anyone interested in language development.

I would have thought 19 months was a bit early to be seeing a speech therapist. I know it sounds like he doesn't say much but maybe wait till he's 2 before worrying too much. Girls in my mums group were pretty similar to that and all of a sudden took off.

I have learnt with DD that they don't always do things when the book says! She talks well but didn't walk till 19 months! I'm sure you're doing all the right things and he will take off but if not he can still see the therapist in a few months.

I mean before my DD spoke she babbles then one day came out with words either by herself or copying us - now she says heaps and is learning phrases and sentences. They all have to start somewhere and maybe your boy will do they same but just later than others.

I was told that about Lyta. I was told that about Sam - and given half a chance they would tell me to take Harry to one too. Only way to shut Lyta up now is to give her something to stick in her mouth! Even then she talks incessantly between bites.

Your boy is unique. Embrace that. He'll be talking away like normal by the time he hits school - they always are. When he does, be your own speech therapist as as cute as it will sound when they say adorable things, correct them on their enunciation. Haz says Wunbo Warepans instead of Spongebob Squarepants. I find it so freaking adorable - but I never repeat it back to him else thats reinforcing it. Dont use his baby words when he starts using them and everything will come out in the wash. You'd be surprised how much interest they really do show in getting it right - Once they start. Until they are ready to though, its just a waste of time trying to force it out of them.

I must be another one - DD is 22 mths, (9 weeks prem) and she only really said:
Dadda
Bubby
Pretty
Bye Bye
Ta (sort of)
Mumum

But she understands commands like "close the door", "put it back please", "do you want your juice", "wheres the dogs?" etc. And she looks and points at things in interest too.

I'm not worried about it at all, if she gets to three with little improvement then we'll look into it, but I see vast improvements daily with what she can do / understand, so I know she's still developing.

Sometimes I think there are so many books telling us what our babies 'should' be doing by a certain age, we freak out when ours is lagging behind. I know one book in particular tells you you should be worried if your toddler isn't doing XYZ and take your DS / DD to a specialist! I know in some issues kids do have an underlying problem, sometimes they just need a nudge too etc...

Oh! Leesa Nailed it! Does he follow commands well? Does he yell everything? The first worry by everyone in speech development is hearing issues. Thats why people kept thinking Lyta has a problem. She doesnt use an inside voice at all and completely ignores instructions - but you say softly that you are going to give them all a chocolate biscuit and she'll come running from the next room for hers. If you are worried, get his ears checked out. It can be a warning signal for ear issues. Usually its nothing but no harm in asking a Doctor to have a look.

He is understanding everything. I ask him to bring me a duck in th bath, and he shuffles over (knows not to stand in the bath) and gives me one of his rubber duckys... he understands most things we say to him. If there is someone singing on tv, (He loves singing) he will run from anywhere in the house to see it.:dunno:
He had his hearing tested before he left hospital, and it was ok. He was a premmie, and it's one of the things they look for. And before anyone says it... he has completely caught up and overtaken in all areas, so it's not that he's just a bit behind.:shakehead:

I'm trying some of the things you mentioned, well... paying concious effort to them, Tenar. Thanks. It's appreciated. As are all the coments and sugestions form you wonderfull people. Fingers crossed for all of us:crossfingers::grouphug:

Then I'd imagine its all good. I tend to think Lyta just didnt bother speaking because I was very good at reading her visual cues. She didnt have to fight to get my attention because she always had it. A really good starting point is in the instance where they bring you their cup - or in Harrys case, drag you to the kitchen and push you at the fridge! Ask "Would you like a drink"? Start the rapport. At first he'll probably nod. Talk through the process. With formula I would count the scoops and then sing the "Shake shake shake" song - replacing booty with bottle, obviously. I tend to think that verbalising the processes and talking to them like you would anyone else just encourages them to verbalise too.