How could she be so nasty?

I finally finished a beautiful photo frame of Emmanuel with his hand prints and foot prints and put one photo of him nicely dressed. My SIL came over this morning and when she saw his photo she says to me "aren't you embarassed that people will see his deformities". What the heck, how heartless. I replied by saying that Emmanuel is perfect to us and always will be. Emmanuel had six toes and six fingers which, if you didn't know about you can't tell in the prints but his cleft lip is clearly visible.
I'm just putting it down to her ignorance but her words did hurt. I think I'm just in a bit of shock that she would say something like this. His photo will definately remain in our lounge room as he will forever be part of our family.

Regards,
Dianne

What a horrible thing to say!

It sounds beautiful, and a lovely way to remember him by. I'm sure he was a gorgeous little boy, no matter what he looked like. Some people really don't think before they speak. :hug:

Oh hun, I am so sad for you that she was so thoughtless :hug:. It sounds like such a lovely thing that you have done, I hope it brings you some pleasure and peace.

I have no idea???? But I am so sorry for you that she would be so cruel...like you say he is a much wanted and treasured part of your family and there is no reason to ever hide him away. Huge hugs and best wishes.xxxxx

Oh Dianne, how cruel of her. I'm so sorry, people can be so thoughtless - huge cyber hugs coming your way. Emmanuel was too perfect for this world. Place a kiss on his perfect little face in that picture from me. xx

Thats so horrible of her, I can't believe someone would say this to you let alone your SIL!

:hug: some people really need to learn how to be nice!

:hug: I'm sorry someone said that to you. :( I guess people just don't understand the impact that thoughtless words can have. That really was an awful thing to say, but you know much better than that - Emmanuel chose the right mummy, who will honour his memory and remember him with love for who he was.

:hug: oh hun I'm sorry you had to hear that :(
You would never need to be embarassed about your precious boy :hug:

Obviously she is heartless, as anyone who you would allow in your home would know about your precious boy and understand that displaying his photo is your way of remembering him. It would bring me to tears.

Sorry, but I would never let that b!@ch into my house again.

Oh Dianne, I am so sorry you had to hear words like that. :hug: I think the frame sounds beautiful and it would be an honour to see Emmanuel and share your memories, its a shame your SIL couldn't see that.

Oh hun I am so sorry that someone especially family would be so cruel and heartless. Sounds like you have done a beautiful tribute in memory of Emmanual, he certinly picked the right family to be part of as you are remembering him for the beautiful son and brother he was to you all.

Hugs thinking of you

xoxoxo

Oh Dianne, :hug: I'm truely gobsmacked by what she said. She has obviously got A LOT to learn about life.

:hug: You poor mumma. :hug:

I can see how her words would have hurt you. I think it was a very thoughtless comment and your sister obviously didnt use her brain or heart before making it. :hug:

Emmanuel will always remain perfect. You keep that picture of him and his hand and footprints in your lounge room and you show them off with pride. :hug:

Thats a horrible thing to say!
He was and always will be perfect no matter what people say. :hug: xx

Oh my goodness Dianne I cannot grasp the ignorance of this person... I am so incredibly sorry that she was so tactless and - stupid! (I was looking for a more eloquent word but couldn't find one that fitted)

What you have done is beautiful - for your beautiful little boy. Isn't it interesting how so many in our society cannot see the beauty in all children not just the ones that fit a certain criteria...

I send you my love darling woman - and a hug - it must have felt so confronting to hear those thoughtless and ignorant words. :hug:

The photo/prints sound like a lovely tribute to your beautiful boy and rightly deserves pride of place! I hope your SiL is truly ignorant of the hurt she caused with her thoughtless and cruel words - as I would hate to think a member of your family (or anyone for that matter) would be so nasty on purpose. :hug:

How thoughtless - regardless of her personal thoughts on how she'd handle such an event, I would be proud of your strength in recognising and celebrating a little man too good for this earth.

*hugs* kaz

Oh Dianne, I'm so sorry you've had to hear that awful comment from your SIL :hug:. Obviously she has no idea (I'm guessing she hasn't lost a baby). Big hugs to you and know that there is a small number of stupid, ignorant and obviously 'foot in the mouth' people out there, but you know that your little boy is perfect, and he always will be, no matter what other people might think/say.

OMG, my heart just broke to think not just anyone but your SIL could say such a hurtful & shocking thing :shakehead: ... she's the one whom should feel ashamed of HERSELF (and this is her nephew she is speaking of) ...

OUR babies are babies, and our babies are BEAUTIFUL not only to us parents but to anyone else who willingly loved them whether they knew them on earth side or not (he was in your tummy & here for sometime, enough time for those that wanted to, to truely care about him ... yes Auntie's included) ...

I'm so so glad you have placed him for all to see just as he was & always will be part of your own loving family :hug: xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

:angry: have to bite my tongue - my thoughts on someone who would say that to you are not fit to print!

:

---

your little boy is perfect, and he always will be, no matter what other people might think/say.

---

beata said it perfectly.
:hug: to you and you're a sweet mummy to create such a precious memorial to your beautiful boy.

Is she 12 years old or something? That sounds like such a stupid, immature thing to say. Why on earth would anyone think that your beautiful little baby could be anything to feel ashamed of?? I just don't understand. It sounds like she's not right in the head to me.

What a lovely memorial to have made up. xxxx

Oh that is the most thoughtless, hurtful thing to say. Of course he is perfect and he is your precious little guy. Sending you lots of :hug:. I would have been furious and let her know about it..grrrr. You did well to control yourself.
Rach xx

:( How heartless, she is obviously jealous of your perfect angel boy!

I am sorry for your loss and sorry your SIL is not more supportive :hug:

Thank you all for your lovely supportive words. I will continue to have his frame hanging proudly in the lounge and as someone said she is the one who should be embarassed. Pitty she is family because if it was a friend I would have told her to leave my house and never come back.

Regards,
Dianne

Your tribute to your son sounds beautiful Dianne. I am so sorry you were upset like this by someone who should know better. Be strong

T
xx

Dianne, i told my DP about your thread in what your SIL said and he said just as you did ... that he would ask her to leave and never come back, but yes it's a hard position to be in when it's family as you have obviously worked out with your actions that it would only make the situation worse and YOU have been through more than enough heartache to deal with anymore !!

(i'm so sorry to say Dianne but i do think there is a hint of sick jealously like member Queen mentioned before ... For your SIL to say something so incredibly hurtful, ... it's such an ugly, ugly side of a human being :shakehead: ... You just be very aware of her now and if & when you do ' have ' to speak to her just be yourself and nothing less ... but that doesn't mean you have to be warm towards her, YEH stick that up her jumper !!! )

:( how awful... what an awful thing to say to a mother about her child... I'm so sorry she was so disgustingly rude and tactless towards you. What a not-so-nice person she is.

:hug: you deserve a HUGE apology from her. I would understand if you never spoke to her again for saying that.....that is just a horrific thing to say to someone. (regardless of if the child is passed away or alive).

Stand proud because you have every right to be ;)

Far out! I can't believe she actually said something like that to you. I hope she never has the apparent misfortune to have a child who is less than perfect in a physical sense because to say something like that is just so shallow. Emmanuel was perfect and you should be showing him off to everyone who comes to your home :hug:

My MIL proudly has the photo's of her DS Thomas (lost him to trisomy 13 also) on her wall with everyone having turns holding him. He's wrapped in a blanket, so you can't see much, but its there. He was her baby & she/they thought he was beautiful no matter what was visibly wrong with him.

She also lost a baby before him to SIDS, but only has one photo up of him as it was unexpected & its the only photo she has. She's so greatful she got the chance to get photo's of Thomas.

I'm sure its beautiful xx

Oh Dianne, what an awful thing for someone to say! Of course you should have the picture up! :hug: for you.

How thoughtless and ignorant of this person who is supposed to be family!! I cant believe the nerve of some people!! People just open their mouths before they think.
I'm sorry she said this to you, your little man I’m sure is perfect. :hug: Big hugs hun please don't take any notice of that half wit!

what an awful thing to say! SIL or not im suprised you held your tongue and didnt give her a string of swear words!!

i think its her who is embarrassed about it and thats why she said it. it just shows her ignorance and how shallow she is.

i bet Emmanuel was gorgeous and perfect!!!
hugs
xxxx

Some people just don't think before they speak unfortunatly & I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

My MIL is very much the same - she doesn't like us talking about our daughter due to her fiance having strict religious beliefs, pretends she was never born etc.... My husband & I don't have any pictures of our bub due to severe deformities (she suffered from severe hydrocephalus & the fluid they had to remove before I could give birth caused her head/skull to cave in at the back) by our own choice as we wanted to think of our lil one as the perfect angel we all see our bubs as but we had gorgeous pictures done through the site 'To Write Their Names In The Sand'. I paid for the photos & we gave a set to my folks, hubby's father, mother, my grandma, his grandparents as well as for ourselves. Everyone else adored them (my grandma even cried when we gave them to her she loves them so much - Ashley is her first great grandchild) but my MIL called it a 'cheap' Christmas present. I was furious that she said that to hubby & he was gutted that something that was seen by precious & priceless to everyone else in the family was seen as cheap to his own mother.

I think what you did sounds like a beautiful way to remember your son. He's your lil angel & you are free to remember him in whatever way you choose to, especially in your own home. All our lil angels are perfect in every way, no matter what anyone else thinks.

Hugs

Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you got some pictures of your precious angel. Take care :hug:.

Regards,
Dianne

That is more horrible than I have the words for...

It sounds absolutely beautiful what you have created :hugs:

My son was 28w stillborn and I know some people don't like to see him either, but that's their problem, not mine.

I'm so sorry your sil said such a hurtful thing to you, lots of love to you xxxx