those who have finished having kids

just thinking about where we stand with having anymore kids and we are both thinking 2 is more than enough for us. so basically we wont be having anynmore. however, every now and then i get a little twang (which lasts for a moment only) of desire to have another one. then i remember how hard having 2 is at times, pregnancy,labour, birth etc..... but for those of you who have decided no more kids, do youn still get that feeling? DH is thinking about getting the snip but i just think that seems too perminant. even though i dont want anymore. its a very confusing feeling actually.

I completely understand where you are coming from, i'm pretty much in the same place right now. Throughout the pregnancy of DS2 i had decided that 2 would be enough also. But as DS2 grows out of things i can't bring myself to start giving away anything. Just incase...

I'm also a bit scared to make that permanent decision of NO MORE... even though another is highly unlikely.

I'd be interested to see what others have to say also.

We have decided that 2 is it! DP has had the snip so that shop is definitely shut however I do sometimes get a small pang o fhaving no more. It seems to have stopped recently as DD2 is teething and I am getting no sleep so maybe that's the key - the more sleep you get the more you think about it ;)

yeah its when they are being good when you get that pang... when they are being horrendous its an easy choice to stop at what you already have LOL

I'm exactly the same. We've just had #3 and there's no way I would have thought I'd consider #4 but find myself thinking about it A LOT the last few weeks :wall:

I think that pang is pretty normal, no matter how many you have. Even though we would not actively try to have #4 and our fertility isn't great, I'm not ready for DH to do anything permanent, not just yet.

I don't think that urge goes away for a looong time. Must be why there are so many overzealous Grandmothers out there :rofl:

I get pangs when I hear a newborn cry in the supermarket or I read a birth story on here but I know there is no mire for me. DH is fixed up now too so no accidents either ;)

I had my tubes tied after bub 4.

While I know I am not having more kids now and then I get that urge.. I sometimes think one more would have been good but reality kicks in and I know I am busy enough..

ok, so it seems pretty normal then.i am just worried that if he gets the snip and then in 5 years or somethig i get the 'pangs' and it is like a major emotional depression or something. that would suck.

Ahhhh... I had been wondering about this too :)
Our number 4 is only 4 mths old... in the first couple of weeks after, I felt like 'That's it! Definitley no more!' but now I am starting to get little pangs already, at the thought of no more babies.
FWIW we were originally going to stop at 2, then 3...the plan is now for DH to get the snip but I am already wondering if we couldn't make room for another... then reality kicks in :lol: and I think, well you have to draw the line somewhere.
It doens't help that AR is a fantastic baby who is so happy & easy. I have to remind myself another just might not be!

So nope, I have no idea how you are supposed to tell when enough is enough, but I am almost surely going to be a very zealous grandma ;)

I'm finished - and I know it just cos I do ;)

Even though I have uneventful pregs and straightforward births and just knew DD was going to be the last. I enjoy babies so much I thought I might have 5 of them.

I don't feel any pangs - DD is 3.5 now and I've just started to give away her baby things. I like holding other babies and squeezing their cheeks but I'm ready to move on with the next stage.

And I don't want to go through night wake ups, leaky boobs and dragging out bags, prams and whatnot everytime I leave the house. I didn't mind it when I was doing it, just over that part :p

does that mothering urge ever really go :(
I had my tubes clamped after number 2 and then went back and had them reversed to have another 2. I have now had them cut and removed but as much as my life is busy, sometimes hard and crazy that feeling deep down inside gnawes at me.

I suppose you have to know when enough is enough....what your limitations per child is and oinly you know what your capable off.

After 2 babies DH and I made a very sensible decision to stop at that and have no more. The pang at that point was impossible for me to deal with so we decided to go for one more. We got doubly the joy with that pregnancy but now I have 4 kids the pang has all but gone. I do feel a little sad when I see a lady with a gorgeous round belly, or if someone is starting labour I almost wish I could do it. But I do not want another pregnancy or baby so it makes those feelings so much easier to deal with.

For me, I am happy now with the decision to stop, it feels right and that is what stops me feeling sad.

I still feel the pang but less now that i realise how hard it would be with 4! i think part of it for me is accepting that the child bearing part of my life is over and I am getting older IYKWIM?

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I keep telling everyone I'm happy as it is, & no more, but I've always said I'm still young & maybe in 5 or 10 years.
I'm too scared to get DH to get the snip, or me to get my tubes done, coz I don't wanna take that chance away.
I keep actually telling myself that this is enough. Bring on the nieces & nephews!!

Jase decided for us 2 is enough I know its enough but even now as luke grows I get a pang of never being pg never TTC again he wanted to get the snip I am like no way... so its good old condoms for us :lol:

I know its silly to want another so soon,

We are done - Dh is 'done' LOL. I feel those pangs all the time - when I hear of someone I know being pg I feel a tiny bit jealous that it's not me, and I looooove having a newborn but I think now I love the idea of it rather than the reality. We are at the point in our lives where the kids are getting older, and pretty soon we will be completely out of the baby stage of our lives and we are looking forward to moving onto the next stage - I'm starting Uni next year and we're getting involved in things with the kids. But I think I will always pine away for another one.

yeah DH is 100% against another one. it just must be a mummy thing to alway have a little part of yourself wanting another. a lot of it is wondering about the potential little life.. like what would it look like, personality be, gender, how would the siblings enjoy it etc.. but yeah that kinda sucks that it isprobably gonna be something that will stay for a very long time, even after the decision is made fo no more.

We decided two was it as well especially after my rough birth with Lachlan. I always had an urge for 3 and after Lachlan said that there was no way in hell I was going to go through that again, and Andrew was dead set against a 3rd anyway. However #3 came along and neither of us would give him up for the world ;) Definitely no more though and I don't have any urges for anymore either.

Hey all,
DH and I always said two kids was enough. Now we have two, DH got the snip, I won't say I do not think "but, but, but" I do get over it though ;)
I sometimes think maybe I DO want one more, but then I realise I love staus quo.

I'm, the same as you Hollo, I just not sure, more than happy with two for us and lifestyle but that PANG...it's there. The sleepness nights bring me back down to reality and having tow can be hard, so three or four must be even harder.

I have actually avoided reading this thread coz when I read the title I thought, No that's not me...but Dh is pretty sure he doesn't want anymore and I am coming to terms with it. But I won't let him do anything permanent just yet....Never say never is my motto at the moment;)

I have to say, it's good to hear I'm not the only one with a 'pang' still...seems it might be pretty normal, which I think will make it easier for me to accept not having more.

Sorry, didn't want to hijack :redface: but just wanted to say that :lol:

Before DD2 was born I was thinking that a third would be lovely and I still have the pangs even though DD2 is nearly 5 months old. DH is adamant that we are having no more (although I know he would like a boy) but he won't get the snip and there is no way I am having the op. I tell him maybe in a couple of years when the girls are bigger but we will be 'old' then and I really need some sleep :o

A friend had her baby boy the other day and I loved remembering the whole pregnancy and birth of the girls and how tiny they were.

We know that two is good for us but you just never know what is going to happen.

I get that pang now, I only have the one and said for a long time that I was only having one, but sometimes I wonder what life would be like with 2.

My biggest fear is that Jake would feel unloved or pushed to the side with all the time that needs to be spent looking after a new born, and I guess also that I wouldn't love the next one as much as I do Jake, I couldn't imagine loving another living creature as much as I do him.

Oops, sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread with my problems, just wanted to let you know that I too have that pang, which does seem to be happening more often these days!

Interesting thread. I have said all along- No more than two! But dd is being such a pleasure at the moment, and I'm actually suprising myself with how well I'm doing with two under two...

Logically, I know two is enough, but it's nice to have the option ;)

Nope. No urges or twangs or cluckiness for me. i don't even like holding some babies and never go goo-goo-ga-ga at some of them. I definitely know that i am done. There is only one baby in my life atm which i adore to death...BR's little man, other than him nope don't like babies :redface:

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Nope. No urges or twangs or cluckiness for me. i don't even like holding some babies and never go goo-goo-ga-ga at some of them. I definitely know that i am done. There is only one baby in my life atm which i adore to death...BR's little man, other than him nope don't like babies :redface:

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And he loves his Auntie TD very much!! (And misses her too...)

As for me, I think I'm done. Although DS is only 3 months old, I'm 34 and single, and having grown up as an only child I think there are a lot of special and unique things that I had the chance to experience that I'm not sure I would have had I had siblings. Part of it was a financial thing, and I was lucky my parents were able to cater to my little desires, but a larger part was the amount of time and knowledge my parents were able to gift to me without having to also take another child's needs and feelings into account.

Of course, 6 days after DS was born I was going on about how I'd love another child. However, considering I'm currently sick and sleep-deprived struggling to deal with one unsettled baby, I can safely say my earlier desire for another one can only be chalked up to major after-birth shock/nonsense lol.