What do you call the area down there?

My DD1 is 3 and we have always referred to the bottom areas as her bum. She noticed my friends twins (boys) when they were having their nappies changed and said they have tails. So I had to correct her and say it is a winky. So she says that boys have a winky and girls have a bum. I read somewhere once that we should just call it what it is so I told her it is a vagina. But I don't know if I am comfortable with her going around calling it that so what do I tell her? What is an acceptable term for a child?

Just use the correct term. Must admit I've found it easier to say penis than vagina. Dunno why?? I do find myself at bath time saying to DD that we need to wash her back bottom, and her front bottom. But I have told DS that his sister doesn't have a penis, she has a vagina.. and of course he killed himself laughing.. he thought it was the funniest thing. So that didn't help my awkwardness! LOL. But yeah.. it's best to just use the correct terms :)

Vagina and penis are the correct terms for a child.

could you imagine having someone(and many adults stilll use crap words for there body parts) saying um doctor my fifi/micki/winky/peepee hurts.
Teach them the real names and teach them that it is ok to talk about your own body, we do not want our children ashamed of their own bodies.

there is a great book call every one has a bottom.. highly recomend it for you

*Disclaimer - The following could be confronting to those who have suffered sexual abuse*

You NEED to be comfortable calling it a vagina. Because that is what it is! For her safety it is important that she uses the correct term. A friend of mine did an abuse course as part of becoming a Kinder Teacher and they discussed the importance of using the correct terms. Sexual predators often find power in baby words for sexual genitals, whereas a child who uses the correct terms can often intimidate them ie. "Don't touch my vagina". Also there have been cases where abuse has gone on unnoticed due to alternative language. A little girl who was 3 was being abused by her uncle and she called her vagina a "flower" she said her uncle had broken her flower and no one knew what she meant. Had she used the term vagina any adult would know exactly what she was talking about.

My children use the correct terms, and have done so since they could talk. Child psychologists also recommend this. And the sex ed psych's that have attended my daughters school also talk about using correct terms.

Hi, there are quite a few threads I've seen here on BB on this topic.

I taught DD that it was called a "nini" which is what my mum taught me as a child. That was until I read a thread on here that really got me thinking. Someone posted about a friend who had their DD calling hers a "flower" & she told someone that somebody had "broken her flower" & they didnt understand what she meant or how serious it was. From that very moment I taught DD "vagina" for girls & "penis" for boys. DS is being taught vagina & penis aswell... being such a boy he already knows where his "penis" is from the many times he plays with it & I say "yes, thats your penis" (he also knows where noses are, he went through a picking nose phase :lol: )

My opinion to anyone who asks me this is to teach them what it is actually called so if they ever need to tell a teacher etc that something hurts etc the teacher will know exactly where they're talking about IYKWIM.

I hope I've been some help ;)

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Also there have been cases where abuse has gone on unnoticed due to alternative language. A little girl who was 3 was being abused by her uncle and she called her vagina a "flower" she said her uncle had broken her flower and no one knew what she meant. Had she used the term vagina any adult would know exactly what she was talking about.

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Aaaahhh thats what I mentioned in my post.... it really hit home for me, as I said, from that moment DD has said "vagina".

ok, penis and vagina it is then. Thanks for the replies.

We have a Vagiiiiineeeee here and a penisssss all so exaggerated it makes me laugh!

I say the correct term.. My DD thinks her vagina is her bum.. Like when you ask where body parts are ie arms legs ect when i say wheres your bum she points to her vagina.. All my boys call thier penis's just that.. A penis.. and with DD I say vagina.. Funnily enough I feel uncomfy sometimes but I need to get over it I think lol. It is what it is..

We use the correct terms here, and i have a very curious and literal/correct child. A few days ago we were woken with a yell at 6am of "Mama! Mama, my wee is stinging my vulva!" - she'd scratched herself! Goodness knows what the people on the bus think when she begins going on about vagina's, but i don't really mind/care. :)

Bx

That is awesome Bx!

I agree it is really important to give them the correct words so they have the language to preotect themselves and to tell adults if anything was to happen. I also thik that is what they are called so why give them another name a nose is a nose and an arm is an arm and we dont have the need to call them different things I think it just lets them know it normal and we all have them. My little brother used to say rude part and I can remember mum saying over and over its a private part its not rude lol

Correct terms are most important!

In a case where a female child has been sexually abused and misnames a body part the perp can recieve a lesser conviction or escape conviction eg: vulva is external and vagina is internal! Please teach both terms.. it may seem like TMI for someone so little but there are some sickos in this world and you never know what may happen!!

and aside from everything else wouldnt she get confused about having two bums? that just doesnt make sense. a friend of mine does this too, she was telling us the other day how her DD said she had a sore bum and so they put cream on it and then it took me about 5 minutes to figure out she was talking about her DDs vagina.

we used to call my DDs vagina a 'mimi' as that what my mum used to call mine. but one day at day care she was telling her teacher that her mimi was sore and they didnt know what she was on about. so from then on vagina it was. and you are right it felt uncomforable for the first few times but it is second nature now.

We are also using Vagina & Penis... DD is no where near talking yet but we use the correct terms now so that we are comfortable with it (DP is NOT comfortable with talking about DDs vagina but I figure by the time she is talking about it he should be over it :crossfingers:)

I try :lol: I'm more uncomfortable with the word penis than vagina, and ds calls his his 'doodle' (thanks, dh :rolleyes:) Working on changing it.

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Correct terms are most important!

In a case where a female child has been sexually abused and misnames a body part the perp can recieve a lesser conviction or escape conviction eg: vulva is external and vagina is internal! Please teach both terms.. it may seem like TMI for someone so little but there are some sickos in this world and you never know what may happen!!

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I have to agree with this one. I get all funny about calling the whole female genital area a vagina. If someone says to me that someone touch their vagina, I do think internal, not the external vulva and often get confused.

I do admit though to using fanny as a general term for the whole genital area, but it does not seem to be such a common term these days, so I really should change that.

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I do admit though to using fanny as a general term for the whole genital area, but it does not seem to be such a common term these days, so I really should change that.

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Yes, fanny and winky is what we used to call it in our day. Doesn't seem like these terms are used anymore.

I use correct terminology because of all the reasons listed above.

I also used to find it a bit "giggly" saying vagina and penis, and I was very concerned about this embarrassment passing onty my child in a negative way - after all, to them it's just a body part, I didn't want to stigmatise their body parts. So - and I kids you not - I stood infront of a mirror and said the words until I was comfortable with them It might sounds REALLY silly, but it worked :lol:;)

we used to call DD1's a bum too, then she started pointing to it and saying bum, so we started calling it a vagina, andteaching her that daddy had a penis because he's a boy.

DF is totally uncomfortable with her calling it 'agina' but i think its important she knows the right words, so if something ,god forbid, ever happened,there'd be no confusion

Winky is term I have not really heard before.

We have taught DD vagina but generally say "gina" because its easier

For some reason "vagina" is more uncomfortable to say - hopefully by teaching our children that its normal to say it they wont have the same issues with their children!

DD showers with either DF or I and is always looking at our "bits" and sometimes points and :lol: and sometimes points at my nether region and then points at her own and i wasnt sure what to call "down there".

I think we'll go with the correct terms because as its been said by several people in this thread heaven forbid anything happen i dont want there to be any confusion.

Ds calls his a "doodle" Don't know how it started. He calls DD's a "gina." But often asks me "where did E's Doddle go?" THen I have to do more explaining about how a girl doesn't have a doodle!!

We call it a vagina a "ja ja" in this house and "doodle" for a penis.

I think as a parent you have to feel comfortable in what your child refer's to their private places. I also think that the earlier you teach your child about no one touching 'down there' the better. V know's that no-one but her is permitted to touch her 'ja ja' and even tell's her brother's off is she see's then itching their 'doodles'.

I too have taught the girls the proper names, vagina and penis.
We've also taught Nina that her vagina is not a toy, and that unless she permits it, no-one is to touch it. If she is ever feeling sore on her vagina, she will always ask for me. She'll even say to dh, 'no daddy, I would like mummy to look at my vagina'. He has always respected that, and I think he'd prefer that as well LOL.

DD1 calls hers a "moomoo" no idea where she got it from and i never thought of correcting her until i read this i think now we are going to get that book suggested earlier and learn the proper names!

We call it 'giny' and 'doodle'.

I'm comfortable with these. I think giny is pretty obviously a vagina and if my DD ever talked about anyone touching it I'd sure as hell know what she meant. I think doodle is another pretty widely accepted term for penis and again if my sons were talking about their doodle I'd know what they meant.

Perhaps when they are older and speaking properly (for the boys) I will reconsider.

Willow as far as i know the usefulness of the real words isn't only for reporting to you but in stopping the abusers in their tracks in the first place (a child who says "do not touch my penis/vagina" is obviously clued in AND able to report indiscretions VERY accurately and many paedophiles report that is a major turn off to them) and to the police. I have had to report sexual abuse that happened to me as a child and the police cannot put in a statement "child reports touching of the winky" nor can they teach the right words at that point because it can be seen as "coaching a witness". Often times the only solution is lengthy play therapy with dolls having the child video'd while acting out the abuse over and over to make it clear, and even then there will be a lot of doubt that wouldn't exist if the child was able to say "he put his penis against/into my vagina".

I do completely accept that everyone has to parent the way they know how and feel comfortable, but as a child who was abused for 7 years, i cannot tell you the power knowing the simple words "vagina" and "penis" would have given me. It's difficult to express the pain i could have been saved by knowing those terms.

Bx

Hon....knowing the words penis and vagina didnt help me at all.....the words fell on deaf ears for me and I may as well said freakle and hose for all those who I tried to reach out for to help me to hear.

I personally dont feel comfortable will my 3 yo saying VAGINA out loud...especially when I have an autistic 7yo who would use that and make it a mokery. We tried with PENIS and the hell we put up with for 2 months about it. No thanks.

Yep we us fanny and doodle here.

I know what everyone is saying above about using the correct terms, but I also think that it's ok to use the words we do. I think I will be teaching DS to use both.

fanny and doodle here, even my teens call it that LOL...

Juliette is confused at the moment & anything below her belly button front & back is "bobum" (bottom), Zander likes correcting her though "nooo that's your vagina". He will proudly tell everyone that boys have a penis & girls have a vagina, just like the little boy in Kindergarten Cop :lol:

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just like the little boy in Kindergarten Cop :lol:

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Sarah thats what i thought of when i seen this thread :lol:

I personally think terms should be age appropriate too.... Having said that though, correct terms would be taught before beginning school because of what others have said and it will be the first time I will not be around DD.

Oh Sarah, I hear ya on that one, my DD wasn't even 2 and she was telling the other kids at daycare that she had a vagina and the boys had a penis.
It didnt bother me, but the carer came and asked me if we taught her the correct names because I was a nurse? I told her no, I taught her the correct names because that is what they are called and I didnt want to have to teach her twice.
Now my 2yo son tells everyone that daddy has a bum and a willie, even the checkout chick :doh: