speaking two languages

Hi all,
I'm trying to teach my DD1 my language (my DP speaks it too even though he was born here). She seems to understand everything I say but then answer in English...so it comes natural to me to go back to English.
Do you have any tricks that you could suggest to make it easier?
we do listen to songs/read books/watch dvd in my language but she does not speak it at all.
When my mother was here (she doesn't speak English) my DD1 got used to listen to the language but then answered in English and my poor mum had to guess what the answer was LOL. Now that my mum is back to Europe I try to teach my DD1 even more, so next time it will be easier (and I really want her to learn to communicate with all my family over there and my friends).
when she was a baby I was speaking only my language and I am doing the same with DD2 so DD1 hears it all the time... but then when DD1 got more talkative I spoke to her English (my fault!)... then when we are in public with friends that speaks only English, I feel bad to talk to her in a different language as if I want to hide something from the friends, so I keep talking English (silly eh?!?!)
Any suggestions? I am really trying to change attitude.
Thanks

We have done the same with our children, spoken Italian from an early age. I would encourage you to answer in your language rather than English. It is much harder to speak a new language whereas understanding is easier. All the best.

Regards,
Dianne

when we had a speech pathologist come to our MG she told me that the most important thing is to ensure that you don't mix your sentences up. (ie a blend of language 1 with language 2). i thought it was a no brainer, but then soon realised that there were moments when we would start in one language and answer eachother (DH and I) in another! :o oooppsss.

Our DD is still very much in the early learning stages having just turned 2, but I have noticed that when we insist she uses her language 1 for example she will have a good crack at it. our big problem was/is deciphering whether she is trying to speak in lang 1 or 2...we used to assume for some reason that she would only speak in lang 2 (english)...but we just had to work harder to remind ourselves that she could be having a go at the lang 1.

Not sure what snippets of advice to offer as we are only in the early stages. i guess consistency is the key and persistency. I too felt uncomfortable at first in speaking in the lang 1 with DD in public as i was afraid that others might think that i am being snobby etc. but luckily i have a good MG that also includes 2 other girls with english as a second language.

DD has a habit of replying in english to our lang. 1, but we now really insist that she replies in the right language (usually by us repeating what she would of said in the correct language...ITMS).

gosh, this is a bit of a rambled post...hope i make some sense LOL!

Thanks to both of you.
We speak Italian when we go to visit the Inlaws and try to speak as much as we can during dinner time/week ends... but we are not consistent and I think that's our problem.
Then sometimes it is easier and quicker to say things in English... so maybe we are a bit lazy.
ANyway, I promised myself that I will speak more and more Italian to DD1 & DD2 even if it is a bit strange when there are friends around.
I really want them to be able to talk to my mum and maybe in future to go to visit her or have the chance to live in Italy for a while... who knows
thanks

Our eldest DS is 14 and he has just come back from Italy with DH to meet DH's family and it was such a beautiful experience for him as he was able to understand and speak the language as nobody speaks any English.

Regards,
Dianne

Thanks Dianne,
we are hoping to go back in few years around Christmas time, to experience a cold (real :-) ) Christmas with the snow.
I believe it is important that they learn, but I know it is only up to me to teach them. I just need to set my mind and speak Italian all the time.
We have been better in the last few weeks and DD1 is picking up a lot... let's hope.
Did you send your children to Italian school?
regards
T

We are hoping to all go over in a few years, might take us that long to save up. Our kids havn't gone to Italian school but DS11 has been asking about it so may look into that.

Regards,
Dianne

A few parents where i worked (an Early Learning centre) would say the same thing but then their children would sometimes make friends at the ELC with other children of their culture. Japanese and French were the two main ESL cultures at this ELC. If, for example, we had 2 little French girls enrolled at the same time and they were the same age they usually ended up speaking their first language together :) What i would recommend would be to find a group with children the same age as your DDs and hopefully they will make some friends who also speak Italian.

French is my childrens 2nd language as it is the only one other than English spoken (in a very basic way) in our house. Once a week they attend French club. I see you are in a major city so hopefully this won't be too hard to find. Buona fortuna! (from memory that's good luck! LOL) :D

Thanks.
We have an Italian club that we attend and there is an Italian primary school I could send them to...
I will try to find some Italian toddlers, that is a good idea! Time ago I was thinking of creating a group "Italian for kids". I should be ashamed of myself, since I have been teaching Italian in community colleges in the past... but to adults! With kids is a bit different, since you can't explain grammar, verbs, sentence structure etc...
Nevertheless, my kids love to sing and play games with Italian songs.
I have already started to put in practice some advices received here... like repeating in Italian what she says in English. DP and I have been talking only in Italian since he came home...
will let you know how it goes.
grazie, avro' bisogno di fortuna!
(thanks, I will need luck)

We have just started trying to do this with Spanish.

According to what I read, it's very hard to get kids to speak the home language rather than the language of the country, once they are at daycare or school, because their friends are speaking (in this case) English and they think it's uncool to speak the other language at all (in your case Italian, in my case Spanish). So it's important to try to make sure that they are immersed in the other language as much as possible when at home.

Things we plan to do:

- speak only Spanish at home and to each other, even when others are present. In particular, my DH who is the spaniard, will only speak Spanish to DD.

- make sure that all of DD's media, when she is old enough to watch TV and DVDs is in Spanish. She'll miss out on "Playschool", but she'll see the Spanish equivalent on DVD.

- make sure we have friends speaking Spanish around as much as possible

- do our best to spend time in Spain, long enough that she can go to school there for a while, to totally immerse her in Spanish.

All of this is hard to do. In particular, my Spanish is crummy, so it's really hard to get up to speed enough with it to do this for DD. But it's very important, so I'm trying.

I have a cute story about some friends of us who are also an Aussie/Spanish couple with kids. They recently spent 6 months in Spain. Their daughter who was 5 at the time understood Spanish perfectly but refused to speak it at home. While she was at school in Spain she started speaking Spanish, just switched one day, but didn't realise that she'd done it. So when she spoke in Spanish to her Aussie grandparents she didn't understand why they didn't understand what she was saying. She went back to school and told the teacher "my grandparents are crazy! When I talk to them they can't understand me!".

How cute is that :)

On their return home, this family are now all speaking Spanish at home, and the little girl has figured out her Spanish and her English and now gets the right language at the right time. Aren't human brains amazing!

I come from a multi-lingual family (dad 12 languages, mum 3), what they used to do to me is to state the question/sentence again if I answered in english. Of course did I ever answer in the language I was being spoken to in .... nope but dad was happy as long as it wasn't english I was answering in.

This all stopped when my father was no longer part of our family unit.

Please keep up at it! I plan on teaching my children multiple languages, if DP & I have kids then they will be taught the language of his homeland.

Titti - where in Sydney are you?? Leichhardt and Haberfield can offer you some local shops where Italian is both spoken and understood to make a shopping trip, for example, completely Italian speaking :)

I have a close friend who is German. Her DD is 6. She has only ever spoken German to her DD from birth. Everyone else speaks English to her DD. I do not have a problem with them speaking German in front of me. In fact, I am starting to realise that I now understand a little bit of what they are saying!

Her DD speaks perfect English to everybody else. I think it is fabulous, and I am very impressed that my friend has been able to give this 'gift' to her DD. Her DD watches/listens to German and English TV/audio stories/songs.

I just wanted to let you know that I think it is OK for you to speak Italian to your children in front of people who do not speak Italian.

i have a similiar problem as well, my dd is 9 monthss now and im australian born chinese and my hubby is japanese so we speak in english to each other, so speak a tiny bit of japanese and i mix that with a bit of english when i talk to her, not sure about th chinese though wouldnt it get too complicated? plus hubby doesnt understand chinese...

I have some great links for bilinguilism that I will look for again and post.
As others have said, that 'language contract' is very important. Even if you do slip into English from time to time, try to keep the location or context consistent. I'm hopeless with this lately and have your situation where DS will answer me in English, so I know he's understood what I'm saying (or I'd cop a 'huh?' instead!) but he rarely uses Spanish, unless he's saying 'please'!
I'm trying hard to keep on top of getting to Spanish speaking playgroup on Mondays so that he hears that it's not just his weirdo mum who speaks this other language. My mum lives too far away for him to hear it more often and I'm a bit slack.
I want to get DD's ear used to Spanish sooner than I did with DS, so now is the time to get back into language contract for me!

Charlottes aunt is french Canadian and only ever speaks to Lucy in French. My bil speaks English and some French. Lucy is almost 3 and understands both languages with out a problem. However you will find that their speech in either langauge can be delayed slightly as they try and get their heads and their toungues around both languages
we were there for three weeks and it as amazing how quickly even Charlotte picked it up even thouh I speak more German with her at home

Just an interesting side-note: I have read a few studies in which it has been observed that bi or multi-lingual children display above average results in not only linguistic subjects at school but a broad range of academic subjects. They attribute this to the brain making lots of good connections that not only serve the language centres of the brain. It is strongly advised to teach children from the Early Years (0-3) a second language so that they receive this benefit.

thanks to all of you girls!
what a response!!!
well, since I set my mind, my DP and I have been speaking only Italian to DD1.
She smiles sometimes and sometimes replies in English, but she has also started to repeat words or sentences in Italian.
When I am using words or sentences that I believe being too complicated or new words for her, I say it first in Italian, repeat in English and then again in Italian so that she understands the connection.
I did slow down a bit in the last months because she had problems in hearing us (due to glue hear), but after her second operation she had improved so much in English (more chatting, more words an more complicate sentences in English) that I thought it was worth to try to speak Italian again.
It's not easy, it requires a bit of selfdiscipline (from my side... not to fall for easy and quick sentences in English) but I will get there.
You support is great and your stories are inspiring!!!
Bathsheba: thanks, I hope I am not too late
Mayaness: pls post the links if you find them (Thanks!)
Michelle 71: we go there sometimes, we enjoy gelato and italian cakes :-)
Aliash: thanks for your story, it helps to hear that it's ok
Tenar: good luck (Buena fortuna ? ) you have big plans! I woul love for the girls to go to school in Italy, I can't just afford to leave everything here (for now at least)
AngelPunks: thanks for your story and sorry to hear that things had to stop... I know how it is when the family is not family anymore... good luck with your plans of teaching multiple languages
Limeslice: your DD is very lucky! well done
Bubble81: as you can see from the other posts, it is worth trying any languages. even if your partner doesn't speak Chinese, you can teach your child. good luck!

thanks girls!

Tenar I meant buena suerte... my Spanish is well hidden in the remote corners of my brain... just like my German (it comes out some times, when not needed):redface:

Our recent trip back to italy proved to be a wonderful learning curve for DD. both DH and I were suprised how her speech and communication and comprehension just sky-rocketed from those 3 weeks of full immersion (strangely enough in BOTH langs). so if you can, i highly recommend actually going back to visit family/friends too. bit on the exxy side though lol.

as one poster mentioned it is also a great idea to go to places where the language might be spoken in the community. for example, where we live is a high proportion of italians so DD is surrounded by it at the supermarkets, pharmacists and restaurants. this also makes me feel more comfy speaking to her in italian as well.

we do have a kinder here that is italian based but our local council is really making it hard to try to get a primary school (despite concerted demands and a high proportion of the community expressing an interest!). but on that note, my priority for school is a good education over a language one, so if it is not a top notch public school then i prolly wouldnt enrol her just for the language.

we tried an italian playgroup and it seemed to be really effective for the kids (just didnt suit our needs).

oh, and i just remembered another posters point! we too have bought STACKS of italian kids shows on DVD! they have proved to be a marvelous tool for DD. she can learn the language in an easy to approach way ITMS. (if you're interested she LOVES 'Vipo: le avventure del cane volante'...LOVES it! as does her 7 year old Zia back in italy! so i guess it can work for a good age range...

HTH!

thanks.
i will ask my mum to send Vipo's dvd.
we have heaps of Walt Disney's in Italian, but some can be scary...
sorry for short post i'm bf atm

:

---

AngelPunks: thanks for your story and sorry to hear that things had to stop... I know how it is when the family is not family anymore... good luck with your plans of teaching multiple languages

---

my dad died, but i'm hoping when I go back to his home town I'll get immersed and the language will come flooding back

i've always wanted multilingual kids, nothing will stop that :)