Interstate Wedding, possible dilema.. not sure i can do it!

Got an invite in the mail today to a wedding in QLD in March 2010, the groom is one of my oldest friends and although we don't see each other all the time we are ALWAYS there for each other and keep in touch when we can.

Our parents are best friends and both him and our other friend were born within 2mths of each other and have been BEST FRIENDS from the time we were born.

My Dilema is i am due to have bub #2 in Jan and i doubt we could afford to take our family of 4 to QLD for a weekend away, also i don't think the girls are invited to the wedding which is fair enough.

DP told me i should go up by myself as my dad will no doubt be going, he will have the girls for the weekend.
My issue is DD2 will only be 3-4mths old and still hopefully being breastfed, i would have to store quite a bit of milk for him to handle her feeds over a couple of days and i;m not sure how i could handle being away from her?

I REALLY REALLY want to go to this wedding... would i be a horrible mum leaving my girls at home while i go interstate? especially when DD2 will be so little?

:wall:

Girls would fly for free, so why dont you all go up and get accom near by and you go to wedding and DH stay at accom with girls that way at most would be 1 feed as you could go back to accom between ceremony and reception and feed.

Or you ask if you can take DD2 and then DH stays home with DD1.

Otherwise if me I would not be going.

Could you possibly take just DD2? - being so little im sure your friend wouldn't mind you bringing her?? (maybe ask him if thats ok!) - it's not like she is going to take up a place or meal at the reception :lol: ;)

in all honesty, i'd take DD2 with you - it's less stressful on everyone. if you're BF, you'll have to build a supply (which is hard to do at such a young age when still getting BF sorted), you'll have to pump while you're away (and probably dump - such a waste!) and it might impact your supply. DD2 will be free to travel with to a fair degree - i'd take her along.

I think i need to look at accommodation and everything and then try and figure it all out.
If we all go we have to hire a car with 2 carseats etc, was thinking of taking DD2 but not everyone likes having a little bubba at their wedding... will ask them and see what they say.

Also if we all went DP is not the kind of person that could sit in a hotel room all night while i'm out.. he would get bored... hehe atleast at home he has his playstation etc :ROFL:

Hmmm flights and accommodation, look out websites here i come, anyone know of decent places to look up deals?

Go to the webjet site. It is really good way to compare prices.
I would be very careful with the carrier as I know 2 that don't come with great recommendations especially where kids are concerned. We have found Q. & V. good for flying to Qld
I don't think they will mind you having a small baby with you especially if they really want you there.

.... i've often got great accommodation deals on the ** Wotif ** website :dance:

Your DP sounds like mine in regards to the playstation, he would be lost without it (and at 33yrs of age), LOL ;)

I've just recently been to a wedding that was no kids...but there were 2 small babies there. I really think small babies are different to kids/toddlers IYKWIM. If you are that close I would think they would understand. Having said that I'm due 01/01/2010 & have a wedding interstate 2 wks later & they said & I quote "we are a little dissapointed you can't come" hmmmmm!!!!!

Bubs would fly for free & your DP could have a daddy & his little girl weekend. Otherwise look up the Big 4 caravan park details if there is one near to where the wedding is. They have great accomodation & stuff for everyone to do...keeping your DP & eldest amused. I'll get back to you on car hire, my DH found a great place our last trip to interstate (2wks ago)...cheaper than everyone else. And if you can decided book flights now, the sooner the cheaper they usually are. Most weddings are not til the arvo anyway, so your DP wouldn't be doing too much on his own anywho.

We just recently flew interstate for a wedding & got my parents to watch DS....think they had him a total of 2hrs before he went to be for the night. We took him to the ceremony, they were cool with that.....so you could all go to that as a family. Then we went back to where we stayed & hung there as we didn't see the need to hang at the pub & then off to reception. Leaving DS behind to basically be bathed, fed & put to bed.

Erin, i hope you plan on giving them a cheap gift to match their little disappointment ;)

........ (clearly they don't understand what a miracle you would have been performing had you been going :shakehead:)

had a chat with DP last night about it and basically i am going alone or not at all.

1. he thinks it's rude to take a baby to a wedding
2. he doesn't want DD in some random car seat possibly not fitted properly
3. we can't afford to go as a FAMILY for him to watch DD while i'm at the wedding.

I really don't know what to do, it will be very hard to build up a supply of milk in that time and also to have to PUMP while away will be both annoying and probably a little inconvenient.

I don't want to miss this wedding... Hmmm stupid DP, why can't he understand.

:wall: i have until Feb to RSVP, maybe once i have had bub i should start expressing and see how i go.. she will be feeding quite a bit so hopefully i can use that extra supply to build up enough?

Hun if that is what DP thinks and it was me I would not be going then as no way I would cope leaving a new born baby for a weekend.

DS I didnt leave with DH for more than me to go shopping for food till he was 11 months old.

And he now has only been baby sat by my mum and one friend 2 times in total!!!!

in all honesty, i wouldnt' go if i couldn't take the baby - it's not really convenient (and phooey to your DP about not taking DD to a wedding! pffffffft! grumpy bum!). it's going to put undue pressure on you to build up adequate supply for her, and for her to be able to take EBM from someone else at that age. at 3 months they face a growth spurt, wonder week - and all they really want is mummy to be there. how would you cope being so far away if DP rang you in distress cos the baby just won't settle for him?

personally i couldn't do it

i would contact your friend and say you're up in the air, but given it will be so soon after having DD, chances are you won't be able to come as you can't come as a family (financially) and you'd have to leave DD at home which would be stressful for everyone

oh, and another pfffffffffft to DP - does he not think you're smart enough to check the installation of the car seat?

ETA - it sounds like he is trying to ask you not to go for whatever reason (financial is my guess seeing you're trying to sort finances for your house) - but doesn't want to say no we can't swing it, and is making excuses.

It is so not rude to take a baby to a wedding!!! Especially one under 6 mths that is breastfed! JMO though I guess

I had an interstate wedding earlier this yr - DD1 stayed home with DH and I took DD2 with me. She was 5mths old - and it was no hassle whatsoever!

All the best darl :hug:

I actually think it would do him some good to be alone with the 2 girls, especially when Z will be little.. only as with A he didn't do a lot until now thats she's more 'FUN' lol

I trust him 100% and think it might make him realise my jobs not as easy as he thinks... lol
I know ti sounds horrible and i could NEVER have left A behind at that age and i really didn't want to think about it with Z either but this is a life long friend (literally)... maybe i can convince DP to let me take Z, she wont cost anything... hmmmm

I know what you mean about not leaving them though... i cried when i went in for day surgery when A was 6mths old :ROFL:

ive never heard of anyone objecting to having young babies at weddings and as you said he is a lifelong friend so would be more understanding.
Once Z arrives maybe DP will realise what a hand full two littlies are and be happy for you to take Z so he can spend some quality time with A.

maybe book your flight for you to go - then he can't really back out. leave it til a fortnight or so before you're due to go - and do a day trip away from him - leave early am, dont get back til after Z is in bed at night - see how you BOTH cope being apart

i'm sure your friend would expect Z there - i certainly would if it were my wedding! (for interstate people, or even those travelling at all, i expected kids there!)

:

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Girls would fly for free, so why dont you all go up and get accom near by and you go to wedding and DH stay at accom with girls that way at most would be 1 feed as you could go back to accom between ceremony and reception and feed.

Or you ask if you can take DD2 and then DH stays home with DD1.

Otherwise if me I would not be going.

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yep was going to say just that

Ok so i spoke to my other friend who we grew up with about why we possibly can't go, in turn she spoke to my friend (the groom) and he left a message for me today saying i am more than welcome to bring the girls to the wedding etc etc.
So i spoke to DP and he said i can go with Z if i really want to BUT what about car and carseat etc, i said i can hire them, i will check with Dad and see when their flights are etc and possibly go with them and split the cost of a car?

Ok so now my drama's are:

* DP's boss (the guy he contracts to) is getting slack with pays, we are behind by about 4wks and considering we just bought a house, DP a new car and we have 2 kids how the hell am i going to afford flights.
Have asked mum to give me cash for my b'day this mth to put towards it, might say the same to dad and maybe the IL's.

* The wedding is in Hervey bay and only 2 airlines pretty much fly in and the tickets are over $200 each way :wall: then i would have to pay for car, carseat, accomodation and food.

I so so so want to go and i wouldn't want to miss it for the workd but it's so much to ask for this much cash when i KNOW we really don't have it.. but on the other hand it's a life long friend and i would be so upset if i miss it.

Oh ladies help me see sense.

I would go, and take bub. You need to think how important the wedding is to you, and if you will have any regrets if you dont go... but the sounds of it, you would.

I hired a car seat and stroller in Qld when I went up in November (bubs was 4 months at the time) and they were in great condition, looked like new. If you (or DP) are worried about the installation just take it along to a professional for the extra piece of mind.

You can also take a car seat with you as extra baggage, I know with some airlines you dont have to pay extra for babys stuff, i.e pram, car seat etc. I didnt take mine as I went to airport by myself and didnt have the hands to carry everything!!

When I went to Qld last year, we couldn't afford for DP to come. I asked my mum for help as my xmas present. Luckily I didnt have to hire a car or pay for accommodation, is there anyone you could stay with??

I WOULD have regrets if i didn't go but looked at flights last night and there and back would cost me $500+ so i guess i just have to see how much would cost me for car/accom etc and weigh it up from there :wall:

I can't wait for them to meet Z, i only wish i could take both the girls but 1 will have to do.
My birthday is in 2wks so HOPEFULLY i have some generous family members :rofl:

I don't know anyone up there but my dad & stepmum are also flying up, so will check where they are staying and see what they say, i might be able to share a room with them or something, or if they are staying with someone i am happy to sleep on the couch... lol

Do the car places fit the carseat or do i have to do it?

The company I used (Lollipops Baby Hire) delivered it to my sister who was in a hurry so she didnt get them to fit it so we had to do it on our own. I wish she had of got them to as it was a different seat to mine and was a bit confusing.. although we did get there in the end. Not sure if they all do..

Maybe you could hire a capsule from Qld Ambulance??? (dont know if they do short term hire or not) A Qld member might even have one you could borrow.. just putting it out there, you never know : )

Is the a reason your friend cant help find someone who will put you up to save on the cost of accomodation?? I realise it might feel rude but if you just talk to your friend about the difficulties you are having and the lengths you are having to go to maybe they can help work something out...

If it was just me then i wouldn't have a problem asking to stay with someone but as DD2 will be there and only be 3mths old i really don't want to have to disrupt a household, my other mate does live up there (somewhere) but he is a it of a party boy and no doubt after the wedding will be partying into the wee hours and i don't want to risk Z being woken or making them be quiet etc.

I might see if there nan is still up there but i think she moved.
Thanks for the ideas everyone, think my only issue is i need to win tatts

I'M GOING, I AM 100% GOING TO THIS WEDDING! :hooray:

I am booking flights and accommodation this week, my family and DP's family have decided they will give me cash for my birthday to help cover the costs and DP's mum is going to watch A i fly out so DP doesn't have to loose a day of work.

I still have to hire a car as dad wasn't getting 1 and i NEED a carseat as i obviously can't catch taxi's etc without one, my friend is organising a pram for me so i don't have to pay to take mine and i'm just going to stay in a cheap hotel etc...

:dance: I am so excited, we have also decided i can use a bit of the baby bonus aswell as we completely forgot about that.. so now just have to get some cash into my CC and book the flights etc!

Thanks everyone for your advice!

thats awesome!

Check the laws regarding taxi's for Qld..as I know in Victoria you dont need a carseat for cabs, you can hold bubs. You might want the security of having bubs in one, but you might not legally have to.. just an idea depending on how much you would actually need to use it.

Have a great time.

What wonderful news.
Have a great time at the wedding. )

WooHoo!

If you do want to take your pram, the airlines don't charge for baby items (unless you've got a no luggage ticket, but I can't imagine you'll only be taking a carry on bag).