need some advice - procedure after loss

I'll jump straight to the details because I am not really in the mood right now for anything else, but I know you will all understand. I am/was 11 weeks along but not with a blighted ovum and a 2.5cm fetal sac. I have been booked in for a suction curette on Monday - apparently because on Friday my uterus was high and closed I wasn't considered a food candidate for the "let it pass by itself" or insertion of tablets way of dealing with things. But now I am starting to question whether a curette is the best option for me - the risks of perforation, infection, Asmerman's syndrome and so on are not appealing. I thought by having the procedure I could get back on the TTC wagon sooner but either way it looks like we will have to wait til Feb anyway. I know everyone's medical history is different but I figure an obstetrics industry that is hyper-interventionalist in birth is probably the same at the other end of the scale so would welcome some views on the subject, especially any medical/midwifery ones.

hi and sorry for the bad news you have received. hope you are doing ok :hug:

just thought i would give you my story. i discovered my baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks when i went for my 12 week scan, so did not want to wait for nature to take it's course as i don't think anything was going to happen by itself. so i did have the tablets on 23rd sept and again on the 25th, and they didn't work for me. i had retained products and could not stop bleeding.
so on 19th oct i had to have d&c anyway, and i had trouble with controlling the bleeding after this as well, which in the end i had to take medication for. i have just finished my first af since the procedure and all in all i would say that the d&c was better in my case than tablets, and should have gone for this option straight off in hindsight. it was the easier option than having to pass all the products and recovery didn't take long. i just had 2 days off work after d&c, whereas i had a week with the tablets, and more if you count the numerous ultrasounds i had to keep having.
D&Cs and very common, i was supposed to get mine done on the friday but they couldn't fit me in as they already had 7 booked in, so that eased my mind that they do this all the time, and the risks of complications are quite small.
it's not an easy decision to make, i wish you good luck and strength through this difficult time.

Oh hun, I'm so sorry :hug:

Rory
love to you
xoxo

Roryrory
sorry to jump in, but just wanted to give you a :hug: as I too am having a d&c on Monday morning. Supposed to be 10weeks after IVF.... but not meant to be our time this year (this is our 3rd m/c but 1st d&c)

take care my dear, and I hope someone's watching over us both x

:hug: hon.

I didnt have a curette when I lost the twins.....I was allowed to 'abort naturally' thats term still grates me.

I sometimes wish I would have had a curette as I bleed for 4 weeks and then promptly fell pg 2 weeks after. I have been told that after having a curette that the bleeding may be heavier and the cramps are harder but they are gone (apparently) within 2 weeks...and not dragged out like mine were for the 4.

:hug: again beautiful :(

.... RR i'm so very sorry :(, my warmest biggest hugs sent your way :comfort: xOx

(i'm of no help either as i wasn't recommended a curette after my m/c's)

so sorry hon. xxx

Hi honey I am so very sorry to read of the loss of your baby. :hug:
This is a really tough road & I understand the conflict of what to do.
You are right the risks you list are real ones & only you can weigh them up. I have had too many D & C's in my life & whilst there is a risk I do have to assure you that the risk is minimal. There is always a risk with a GA - and there is less of a risk with a suction curette to an instrument curette where the endometrium is physically scraped.

The benefits of a dilation and suction curettage is that the pregnancy is over from then on... :comfort: You can put the line in the sand and move forward. Usually it is advised that you wait for your next period and then TTC. So you are right it won't be until late Jan/Feb until you can begin to conceive again.

I can't make the decision for you - however, for me with my first baby (she had died about 7 days prior to finding out) I wanted the process of grieving to continue not to be prolonged by waiting.

I had no ill effects from the procedures & apart from the emotional & spiritual pain I was otherwise physically fine. I had minimal bleeding & very little discomfort.

I am wishing you well my love - if I can be of any help please don't hesitate to ask me. :hug:

is so sorry rory. massive hugs xxxxxx

Thanks for all your words of support girls - right now I just feel really lucky to have my boys because I know many who go through this aren't as lucky as I. I have had two trouble-free pregnancies - my body is obviously very good at keeping 'em going even if there's nothing there to keep LOL! And I feel kind of bad about admitting it here but I am glad it was a pregnancy I lost and not a "baby" - I know I would feel worse if I had seen a heartbeat. That's not to say that molar pgs or blighted ovums or chemical pgs aren't upsetting, but rather I know I could be a lot worse off if that makes sense. Maybe I am just trying to look on the bright side :redface:

And strangely I kind of feel more connected to women as a whole. Its kind of like women since the dawn of time have gone through this sort of thing - its just now that we have such fewer pgs that these things are highlighted for us. This is just my small part in our collective life. When I think of the women who had a dozen children and lost half to illness and others during birth, I really feel for them!

Thanks again all (hugs)

:hug: I am sorry to hear this news :(

I had D&C's with both my losses.. Each was at 10 weeks.. I only had mild cramping with the first one.. almost no bleeding. after my 2nd loss and d&C they left some "products" behind and I ended up MC aat home as well. It hurt and I hope to never ever have to go through that again.

What you have just said in the post above is exactly how I felt as well. Of course I was sad but I always tried to look on the positive side of it as well..

I am so very very sorry for your loss :comfort:

Spring xx

I'm not sure but I just wanted to say I am so so sorry for your loss

Rory, I'm so sorry for you loss hun :hug:

I had a D&C after my missed miscarriage in 2006. When we discovered via ultrasound that our baby was no longer, and there was nothing we could do about it, I wanted the 'pregnancy' over that minute, yesterday. My heart needed a D&C, ASAP. Fortunately, my Ob recognised that need, and put me first on his list for that afternoon (and he was amazing that whole day, I will never forget his compassion). It was not easy, I won't lie. But I could go on with grieving immediately, and move on to hoping for another baby soon. It was all I could think about, falling pg again was the only thing that could help me at the time.

I'm not saying at all that you 'should' have a D&C, but that you will know what you need to do for yourself in this situation.........your heart will tell you. Inanna is right, the risks are there, but are tiny. Perhaps don't let them stress you out, but see if you can find inside you what it is that you need to do right now, and discuss it with your care providers :hug:

I am sorry you are going through this Rory.
I think Janie said it beautifully - go with your heart. When we found our baby had died at a 10 week scan, I did not want a D&C as I felt IVF had been enough intervention and I could not go through the emotional turmoil of having to go into hospital when I felt so awful. But DD's birthday was coming up so I also did not want to wait so I took the tablets and they worked wonderfully. Ir felt much better to be able to end it in the comfort of my home. but having said that I ended up with a D&C as went back for IVF and the doctor did a scan and there were still retained products. But a D&C 6 weeks later was much less emotional.

Rory sweetheart i'm so sorry for your loss Darling.
Iv'e been nursing for twelve years, and in the few experienced I have had nusing someone in hospital taking meds to bring on a misscariage, past 8wks gestation, 90% have had to go back to have D+C anyway due to retained products. Which only seems to make a sad experience more prolonged and invasive.
Giving how far along you were, and as sad as it is the time of year, I personally would get D+C. Deep down in your heart you only know what is best.
I wish you health no matter your decision, and again I'm just so sorry you are having to even go through this X
Take care X

Thanks again girls. I am feeling really cruddy today, purely hormonal and depressed in a way that I am able to observe what is going on but not be able to do anything about it. I can now really empathise with how devastating a miscarriage can be. None of my depression is related to the baby which wasn't there because I do actually feel at ease with that, but its still awful to go through. I can imagine how true feelings of loss would be horrendously exacerbated by this hormonal rollercoaster. I am going to go through the D&C - I want this crap over with ASAP!

So sorry Rory :(

(((hugs)))

Rory, I'm sure it will all go smoothly tomorrow for you and you wont have any further issues :hug: take care and you know where to find a shoulder to lean on if you need it.

Thanks girls :) The procedure went really well - no pain and minimal bleeding, and my body reacts really well to anaesthetic (I think I am a prime candidate for plastic surgery - you could perform needless surgery on me and my body would thank you for it LOL!) Only slightly annoyed I didn't get any pethadine this time! :)
I felt a bit sooky on the way home but generally feeling better now. Mum has the boys overnight so DH and I are going to use our free movie tix to see "Zombieland" and have a meal at the local pub (this time using a 50% off voucher). Plus we get to sleep in tomorrow, so we will try to make the best of the evening.

Thanks again all, I really am so glad to be part of the BB community and not have to do this on my own. Anyone who says the internet has led to the fragmentation of society hasn't checked out this place.

I am glad it went well Rory.. Hope you have a nice night tonight

I'm glad things went well today Rory. I'm sorry for your loss though. :hug: I hope your time off with your DH is really refreshing and relaxing. xo

I am glad it went well too my love. Enjoy your night together - big cuddles... :hug:

Hugs, chick, you were in my thoughts xox

It's good to hear that it all went well and you are doing OK :hug:

Rory i wasverysad to come in here and read what you've gone through.
Im glad it all went smoothly though and you got to have a night just the 2 of you, i bet you cuddled your boys more than ever though seeing them once again.
One thing that strikes me about you is your ability to make themost of situation no matter how sad and horrible it is.
i hope your body bounces back and the TTC road again is quick and trouble free

I'm so glad to hear that you are well Rory, and lovely to read that you had a night with DH to relax and just be together.
Take care of yourself and eachother, so nice to read that you have a supportive relationship and family to help you through a tough time XX