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My gf called me a super mum the other day, and i just dont see what she does, im far from perfect, my house gets messy, i get over whelmed sometimes when the kids are having their "bad day", i dont see how i could be a super mum.
Do u see urself as a super mum?
Not me! I'm haphazard, disorganised, and too chaotic for that! I love my kids though. :D
I know one mum on here I'd refer to as a supermum, and it's because she seems so organised and efficient (which are qualities I am very much in awe of, not having mastered them myself yet), and seems to put creative thought into her parenting.
I'm sure she wouldn't think she was better than other mums, I would just call her supermum because I would feel super if I had some of her parenting skills!
No way in the world!!
crazy but defently not super :ROFL:
I sound like a fish wife at market most days :o
Not at all!
Well I bloody well am! (if no one else is going to claim it) :p
Nope not at all! I'd rather my kids see my flawed than try and live up to any perceived or showcased "perfections" iykwim?
I think it's good to let the washing pile up, or to just say screw it for the day and sit on the couch and watch cartoons and eat rubbish. It's when it's the norm you have to worry. I remember a psych telling my friend once that the parents that pander to every want, whim or need of a child often raise narcissists because they grow to believe that everyone should pander to them. I would rather my kids see me flaws and all... so long there is more good than flaws I'm happy!
Just to clarify - Cai, I don't think I'd describe a 'perfect' parent as a supermum. For me, the supermum that I would love to be, would be someone who always has time for their kids, plays with them, is creative, proactive, energetic and excited about their parenting, is realistic, flexible and forgiving about things. Maybe being that mum full time is not realistic, but I'd love to be more consistently like the 'supermum' ideal I have.
I agree that for our kids to see us being human and dealing with/working on our flaws (and to know that we expect them to do the same, work on their own character) is a healthy thing.
:yeahthat::
Well I bloody well am!
that makes 2 of us Rach! :rofl:
yah agree, to me a supermum is someone who loves being a mum and everything that goes with it, and who also happens to be organised and have everything under control most of the time... i know someone who i perceive to be a supermum, with three little ones under the age of 3... she always seems to have everything under control (although i'm sure she doesn't, but it seems this way) and never seems to get in a tizz over things... just seems very capable and like she was made for being a mum. i've only got 1, well 1 and three quarters i suppose, and i'm not as organised as my friend. i suppose with three kids though there isn't much choice but to be organised.
I must have misunderstood... I thought from Anila's post she meant perfect mum :)
I always associated that "Super Mum" title with mums that also work outside the home... the ones who's partners don't do many if any domestic duties so that when they finish their paid work they have to come home and do all the unpaid work as well. So according to that criteria i am not a super mum. I am a SAHM and consider this a full time job... not keen at all to take on two jobs... so I consider myself to be just your normal, run of the mill, vanilla flavoured mum ;) ETA: not at all putting down mum's who work outside the home BTW :) hats off to you!!!
Ya know what, I reckon I am.
I'm a super mum but I'm a crap housewife. Really crap.
DP and I often comment that DD would drive a lot of parents nuts because she's so full-on. Lots of people comment when we're out how active she is and what a daredevil. And on top of that she's VERY determined so there are tantrums galore. I have much more patience with her than I ever thought I would. She gets lots of kisses and cuddles every day, lots of stories read to her, lots of conversation and even though she tries my patience, I can't remember the last time I raised my voice.
Having said all that, her face is often dirty, she often doesn't go to bed in pyjamas because she refuses to have them on, her hair is matted because she won't let me brush it.
But I also get comments on how happy she is.
So yes, I will big note myself and say I think I am a super mum.
And this is from someone who for most of their life thought they'd be a bad mum so I'm really, really surprised.
I guess we need a definition first before we answer LOL!
As for me... I'd say I'm like bath!
My biggest focus is my children's emotional wellbeing, their health & happiness and our overall connection as a family. I don't work outside the home, apart from volunteering at school and kinder, and my husband helps when needed. So I guess I'm vanilla too!
Yep, i can vouch for everything you've said fiona :thumbsup:
To be honest i have no idea if i ment perfect or super, as i dont see myself as either, just what my gf had a called me.:
but after reading eveyones descriptions, i actually think im not doing that bad a job, and i feel lucky to have a friend who thinks i am a supermum. :)
Well I have to say many of you are underestermating yourselves. Everyone that has replied to this thread, I have read MANY of your posts and I can tell you, you're ALL supermums. Meaning you put your babies 1st:)
So in saying that YES Im a supermum. To me this also means you put your babies 1st and do the best for them while, more often then not;) keeping sane!
I just wanted to say that i think i am a supermum. I work, study, keep the home, cook, manage the finances, manage my DD's illnesses and allergies, make sure she gets her mummy cuddles everyday, read some great books with her everynight and above all, make living in my house fun and entertaining!! Bring on a great bike ride to the park or a day inside eating popcorn and playing singstar!! I'm by no means the perfect mum, but it's super-fun being a mum in my house.. and for that, i'd like to think of myself as a supermum. I wish all mum's thought of themselves that way too. Bit of a self esteem boost.
I don't think I am... but I give it a damn good go when I have the ability to! I'm going through a rough patch right now, but my big New Year's Resolution is to really, really try harder to be a better mum in all aspects - cooking, cleaning, playing, learning, teaching, guiding, loving, disciplining, etc etc etc. All of those things need work, some more than others, so I'll see how I go :)
ciare that's just beautiful :) Thank you!
Ultimately if you're comparing yourself to you and not other's and provided your own expectations aren't too high I think you'll all find you are supermums! And the most important thing is I bet every single one of your children would think so...
"Mother is the word God on the hearts and lips of all little children"
you know after having a crud night due to a family thing :rolleyes: and crying about it I needed to read this.:
:clap: thank you for making me feel better with your words.
Here I was made to feel I was being selfish by putting my children and family first.....when all I was doing was being a mum :dance:
thanks ladies. I think it's so easy to 'forget' just how important and fantastic we are as mums, because we don't seem to get much praise for what we do. But i realised something so special, and it took me a little while - everytime my daughter looks at me with a loving gaze, it's her praising me. Everytime she asks me to help her, its her praising my abilities. When she hugs and kisses me, it's her thanking me for sharing my heart with hers. When she wants me to play with her and have fun with her, thats her way of telling me that she loves the person that i am - and i know that because if i wasn't a person she liked, she wouldn't want to share any of those things with me.
Remember ladies - men can't carry a child in their tummy or give birth! It's a special job and it's us 'supermums' who get to do it!
I'm a supermum. I'm a mum - how can I not be super?
I work full-time, I keep the house acceptable, I cook nutritious meals, I am up for hours some nights, I look so great people think I'm a Nanny to my son, I am loving and kind... I'm just the same as 99% of other working mothers.
Yes, housework is not perfect. But if it were, I wouldn't have a child now would I? Or a husband. A perfect house can only occur when I live alone with no-one else making a mess.
I dont think of myself as a supermum, Im just doing the best I can. Unfortunately for me my situation has forced my hand into doing things as a parent I never planned.
I control cry now which I never wanted to do. I no longer co sleep all my children (although last night I had the girls all in bed with me and Siennas co sleeping tonight). I bottle and breastfeed. I have my kids in cloth part time (mostly cz DS outwees every nappy Ive ever tried on him overnight). Everyone has to wait their turn in this house. For all these changes to my original plan I know none of it hurts them. CC is hard at first but all my kids settle themselves well now. DS no longer needs mummy to feel safe to sleep in the dark, he made that move by himself before the babies came (which caused many tears). Again Im bottle feeding but this time Im managing to breastfeed as well and Im proud. Formula didnt hurt DS so I wont feel guilty for FF my girls either. A sposie every now and then is a great break in this house.
I dont leap tall washing baskets in a single bound or fight toddler tantrums by night (hell today all I did was care for kids and read a book, no housework at all) but I do the best I can everyday, my kids dont go without and while were all going slightly batty, were happy.
I decided over the holidays that I am the Martha Stewart of Motherhood!
I adore every (amost!) moment I spend with my kids and they are both well-adjusted and loving. I read to them each night. My house is usually pretty clean but often "lived in" in a cosy sort of way. I cook all our meals from scratch (ok, take away once a fortnight) and shop at the market to keep an eye on the budget. I manage our money. DH and I have plenty of time for eachother in the evenings (IYKWIM!). I am strating to get a great exercise routine going.
How do I do it? How am I such a perfect Martha-Stewart mother?
Because, like Martha, I have an ARMY of people to help me LOL!
I work full time so when I see my kids I am not overwhelmed by their whines and fights - I treasure the time and they are a real novelty for me. Neither kid has major health problems are allergies, both sleep well and neither had colic or reflux as a baby. My DH is home with them 3 days a week and my mum and stepdad have them twice a week so the boys have alot of people to love them. My house is clean because I spend every spare minute picking things up, wiping tables and washing clothes. I cook from scratch because I enjoy it - cooking and meal planning is a hobby of mine. My experience of motherhood has been one, big Huggies commercial - all the good bits magnified with the nasty parts edited out!
I can only be a supermum because I have had luck and support......
ETA: Oh my goodness Rhyb you are a supermum to be able to get to the PC!!!!!!!
I am so glad to hear all the reasons why you are all supermums! well done ladies! How we stay sane is beyond me... but we do it.. and we even do it with a smile on our faces (well, most of the time).
Big pat on the back to all the wonderful 'supermums' out there!! We deserve it!
When I look back I think I was a supermum to my baby, but for the last couple of years I have slackened off.
.......... i feel ' most ' like a SUPERMUM when the several Mother's (all but one) from my old Mother's group i went to for 18mths all of whom (but one) has been fortunate enough to go onto have a second child that for the past two years (YES, 2years this has been happening) whenever all of them see me about town pretend to not see me let alone say hello to me, and they look sickened and move fast in the opposite direction.
Infact DP witnessed it for himself the first time yesterday when one stepped into the same shopping centre lift and looked like she was horrified to see us and the moment the lift door opened she actually sprinted (no kidding) out of the lift ... This same woman i posted her a beautiful little gift and card with the loveliest words when her 2nd baby was born and she received it as she wrote me a thankyou note. She didn't even have her children with her this day so it would have been easy to just say a hello. Sadly my DP witnessed her looking back to see if we were behind her. DP was shocked and heartbroken that THIS is what i have been enduring everytime one of them see's me & DD together ... reason i call myself at the height of a SUPERMUM right there is cause anyone in my situation would breakdown and cry right there ... but i keep strong & give my DD the tighest hug and within myself know i tried my hardest for 2.5years TTC a sibling for her and i would NEVER EVER in my days make another Mother feel worse than she has just because she hasn't been able to have another child and treat her as my DP described it as if she has a leprosy ....
... a polite HELLO or even a smile would never go astray, doesn't have to be a conversation just a HELLO or SMILE would be just so lovely :heartbeat:, After all our first born babies spent an important approx 18mths of the beginning of life together, what could be so special then that ... they were each other's first little friends :grouphug: and because of their Mother's actions we never even got see their precious newborn siblings because they are too busy running the other direction :(. Heartbreaking come to think of it as DD & i would have so dearly loved to have met their new bubs !!
Oh smiles! I just want to kick them in the shins for you :hug: You are a supermum xxx
....... and you know Rouge i know you would do that for me, lol yeh make it a good one just don't break any bones, harrr :lol:
:yeahthat: Smiles I will be right there kicking that horrible woman in the shins with Rouge!:
Oh smiles! I just want to kick them in the shins for you You are a supermum xxx
You know...having 3 children of my own, I think any mum who has more than me is a supermum. I know how much I have on my plate and you have even more. So Anila, as a mum of 5 children, I think you are super!
And Rhyb...don't even get me started on you - One of my closest friends has two sets of mulitples and I've seen what an average day and an average night is like. I think you are AMAZING just to be getting through every day happy and healthy with happy and healthy children :hug:
I couldn't read that Smiles without saying how awful that was.
We all get confronted by "not sure what to say" moments but most of us get over it and are at THE VERY LEAST polite. They're either immature, evil or both.
My heart goes out to you - that's such a sucky thing to happen.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
awe thanks hun, that put a smile on my face today, just what i needed, im having a failure mum moment today, i know im not a failure, but just how im feeling today, feel like i let my dd 8 down, anyway, thanks so much.:
and smiles, hunni, just know that people like that, miss out on ur wonderful friendship, its their loss, not urs. :D
not sure y, but my thread wasnt showing up in my user profile subscriptions?
I definately wouldn't class myself as a supermum! I've been thinknig about this for a while now - when people ask if I'm back at work, I always respond with 'I'm just a mum' and I feel guilty for being a full time SAHM. Especially because my house is probably messier than other mum's I know who work part time. (I'm not a fan of housework - its clean, but messy!) And DD goes to cc one day a week - this was only started when I was a Tupperware manager to give me chance to go to meetings and do all my work stuff on one day so that I could spend the rest of the week with her. but I stopped doing the manager stuff in Dec and she still goes - I've been feeling guilty about this, but DH thinks it good that she still goes.
I don't know how working mum's do it - I think they are super mum's for juggling work and being a mum.
Don't feel guilty Sammy. If my 3yo wasn't ill today he would be starting his first day at creche. When he is well he will be going 4 full days per week. When my older two children are back at school this will mean I will be free of childcare duties during business hours Tues - Friday except during school holidays. During which my childcare duties REALLY crank up as every kid in a 5 mile radius who has working parents seems to descend upon my home to play with my kids and eat our food! Not having a go at working parents... just those that don't make arrangements for their kids as young as 12... just expecting them to sit at home all day.
I figure i have done my time ;) For the past 6 consecutive years I have been a full time SAHM. With the support of no extended family... just DH and i doing it by ourselves. LAst week when i had to spend the majority of my time with 6yo DS in hospital with pnuemonia and my DH had to work half days my 15yo cared for my 3yo by herself. She knew no one was around to help... she never complained... she even made a batch of biscuits God bless her :) We do actually have a few relatives who live on the other side of Melbourne but they couldn't help us because they had to do paid work. The fact that my DH took time off work to help one of them when they were in hospital was conveniently forgotten.
Previous to being a full time SAHM I worked in an Early Learning Centre where often i was in charge of room of children (I was unqualified, they got in a qualified temp to be my assistant)... this was when a staff member was sick. I worked long hours, often opening the centre at 7.30am or closing it at 6pm all for $12 an hour :( I did that and studied at uni and cared for my family (only 1 child at the time). So, I was close to being a supermum then i guess. But never again.
One day i will seek a career outside the home but now I am quite determined to FINALLY regain control of the chaos that our house has fallen into because I can't juggle looking after my kids and doing housework at the same time. Maybe if I didn't have a thyroid condition i could...
So think of me what you will but I will be a SAHM with all my children at school/care and some might doubt it but i will still have a full time job running this house. It means I will be able to volunteer as a parent helper at my 6yo's school as a reader helper (without having to stop every 3 mintues to deal with my 3yo).... it means I will be able to help my 15yo DD with her homework at a sensible hour instead of waiting until the boys are asleep and trying to wrap my head around chemistry equations at 9pm at night (instead I can do it with her at 4 - 5pm). It means I will be able to get bills paid, filing done and sewing done (mending) all without a 3yo doing his best to sabotage it!
If I had the support of grandparents then my 3yo wouldn't have to go into paid care. Like Rory mentioned... I don't have an army of support so i'll be damned if i'm going to feel guilty because I refuse to do it all by myself. The more I think about it the more i actually don't want to be a Supermum. I just want a tidy house and happy stimulated children.... for the last 6 years it's been one or the other :(
I get called one...but thats only coz ive got 4 children....i would call my friends of one and two children a supermum too. I dont see how the number of kids you have makes you more of a super mum....
One of my girlfriends has 2 children...and i think she is wayyyyyyyyy super than me. She is the perfect mum - she gets invovled with the childrens activites, takes an interest in their interests, plays with them etc etc...i have another girlfriend , with one child, and DH away Sun - Fri - so she has a very active 14mth old all week to look after. No family around her. I call that super.....
I think i am, honestly. i may not be the perfect mother, but i am definitely supermum.
My house is always clean, i am an awesome cook, i have soup, main and pasta/rice at every dinner, i think of others before me, i work outside the home, i help DS with his homework, i do all the shopping, all the groceries, pay all the bills, translate for mum and dad.
Yes, i am a supermum. :dance:
I'm a Super Mum, and I think every defence mum is too. Heck every single or married or defacto mum is. We are our kids entire WORLD and even though we don't always get everything right, we carried them, birthed them and care for them. So don your cape and go play superhero dress ups with the kids while the washing machine runs, because Super Mums make Super Kids, and we all think our kids make the world go around.