Need support to keep going

I am so tired as I write this....apologies if it makes absolutely no sense. I am soooo close to putting DS on formula - to try and get him to SLEEP!!! I know this is not a good approach and may not work but I have no idea what else to do... I just YELLED at him to GO TO SLEEP and now I am crying because I feel awful. He is sooooo tired and whiney and grumpy but is refusing to sleep. I get him to sleep in my arms, put him down, crawl into my own bed (I only had 4 hours last night) then 5 mins later he is awake and whining in his cot.

He used to go down awake and self settle day and night - but this is now not happening. He has bf every 2 hours for the last few days and my boobs are really sore and feel so empty (even tho I know they are not)...

(I just got him from his cot and put him on his playmat and he wanted ANOTHER feed - it has only been 45 mins)

We have started solids in the last few days but it has made no difference to his bf demands. I am so tired I feel sick.

Can someone please help me not give up....or give in...I don't want to stop bf, but need sleep

:hug: take a deeeeep breath.

tbh id stop the solids for few days and see if thats perhaps the culprit, we had sleep issues when we fist started DD2 on solids so stoped for 2 weeks before starting again. there is no gaurentee that FF will help him sleep better either. is he crawling yet? or about too?? as bubs become unsettled before big milestones

Thanks Olive - this was happening well before the solids - which he loves. They were a part of the need more sleep strategy... He has just learnt to roll really well - both ways - and he is much more active in his cot which prob doesn't help...

I am going to ly on the lounge while he plays on the floor...hopefully rest if I can't sleep

In this situation I would take him into bed with you and offer him unlimited access to the boob. You may not want to co-sleep long term but in the short term it will get you a few nights sleep and some clarity before you think of the next steps you can take to help him sleep. He is of the age where he may get distressed if you are away from him, so a few nights of constant cuddles may just be the key to relaxing him.

Good luck with this. I have been there and it is so tiring. Please don't be upset with yourself for shouting at him though, it is a normal reaction when you are very tired and most mums have done it as some point.

T
xx

:

---

In this situation I would take him into bed with you and offer him unlimited access to the boob.

---

yep what i was going to say.The last few nights dd hasn't wanted to go down and seriously feeding her laying down in bed and letting her suck away has been the only thing to get her to settle.
Your ds may be going through a learning/development stage which i believe can make them pretty unsettled. so keep that in mind that its just a phase and it will get better .... it may just be the thing that helps you while ds makes his leap.

:hug: your a great mummy, don't feel bad about yelling at your son i think its part of it, you only yelled out of frustration at not knowing how to help your baby just take a breath and forgive yourself hug ds and all will be forgiven x x

much luv
nae x x

i know it's no consolation, but things have been were/are very similar here too.

i found we had some really bad nights once DS worked out that he could also roll in his cot, not just when he was on the floor. he would keep rolling as soon as we put him in his cot, then would cry because he doesn't like to roll off his tummy :rolleyes: i don't have a solution because it's still happening here, although it has improved slowly as he's decided he likes sleeping on his tummy.

i agree with traveller on the co-sleeping - i didn't want to co-sleep but it's the only way i've been able to increase my sleep. DS starts the night in his cot & at some point i take him into the spare bed with me. it's made re-settling much easier & as we've gone along, it's gone from taking him in with me at 11-12 to 3.30ish the last couple of nights. it's made those night feeds much less of a demand on me & while i haven't mastered feeding in a way that means i go back to sleep while he is feeding, as soon as i put him down we're both asleep again.

with the 2 hourly feeding, maybe your DS is just regulating your supply? maybe his needs have changed or he's growing so he's just feeding lots to ensure that your supply meets his new needs?

you can definitely get through this hun. it seems like our LOs go through lots of changes around now - starting solids, growing, changing sleep needs (like dropping naps etc), feeling separation anxiety - and i think staying with the BFing is a great way to keep something constant & reassuring for them, if that makes sense?

:hug: I don't have any new suggestions or advice, but I want you to know you're not alone! It was around 4-5 months when DS started not sleeping well. Since then we've been through numerous rough patches (we've just come through the other side of one now). I am in the process of reading No Cry Sleep Solutions too, hoping for some answers and a full night's sleep (for the first time in over 6 months!).

The sleep deprivation is hard, it's not nice. The main thing to remember is to be kind to yourself. We don't have to be supermum all the time, so if you need a day where you just let DS play quietly by himself or watch tv a bit or something like that, while you rest on the couch - go for it!
Also, can your DP or someone watch your DS for an hour or so at some point through the day so you can have a rest? I often kick DH out of bed with DS of a morning so I can get an extra hours sleep - it really makes all the difference.

:hug: You're not alone, and I hope you get some sleep soon!

I don't really have any advise CF, but I wanted to offer support and empathy. Both my two have done this and I totally understand how tough it is.
Work on just getting through one feed and then one day at a time.
:hug:
He sounds like his little brain is doing lots of processing and his little body is ready for a growth spurt though.

:hug: Just wanted to pop in and let you know you are not alone. We're going through the same thing at the moment. Could your LO be teething? My DS got his bottom teeth at 5 months (I didn't realise he was teething until I could feel the little tooth poking through, just thought he was unsettled), and here we are only a few weeks on and we have the top ones coming through.

Also, like the others have said it is a huge developmental time and that is probably why he wants to feed all the time. We also had issues when he started rolling in his cot, it made it so much harder for him to settle. I now give him a little muslin square to suck/chew on when I put him down which does help a little bit, at least it entertains him for awhile while he gets comfy.

I had a bubs like this , which i found was just easier to co sleep . she was a ever 2-3 hr feeder
would get worse when was teething or I been eating something i shouldn't of . Dairy always played havic on her milk . is it possible her is doin a pooes or just movement ?
i found if i gave solids in arvo or nite bubs would get pains.
I didnt really start soilds on bub till she was about 8-9 months old , she was a lazy feeder an wanted mums boobies more LOL

I just want to give you a big hug. Miss Eva is feeding 1.5/ 2 hourly during the day atm and 3 times over night, not counting the 2 hours of cluster feeding before I get her down at night. She has been like this for a week now. However, in the time she has started to roll and is trying to sit and get up on her knees. We introduced solids 2 weeks ago and she loves them so we are persisting with solids, and they haven't made any difference to her sleep.

My solution is to take her to bed a couple of times per day and let her feed. I do this at lunch time and before bed. I start her off in her cot for night sleeps but I bring her back to bed during the night for feeds. At least I can get a bit of sleep overnight and a rest during the day. If she is really unsettled during the day I just take her and lay down.

My guess is that our bubs are going through a developemental period and we just have to ride it out.

It's very common at that age, I'm afraid, and switching to ff probably wouldn't do any good anyway.
Try co-sleeping. It'll help if he's needing to feed more often for whatever reason. And it'll help if he's suffering with separation anxiety.

Basically, just do whatever is going to get you and him the most amount of rest. Carry him in a sling, sleep with him, nap when he naps, get someone else to watch him for a bit during the day so you can nap... whatever.

All the best :hug: Hope you're out the other side before too long.

Sending you massive :hug:. From what the girls have said this is common. But I know you can do it, you have done so so well already and your little guy has been thriving brilliantly on his mummy's milk. I'm :cheer: for you hun!
Rach xx

Massive :hug:

I wanted to give up when my DD was Blake's age. I honestly think that age was the hardest so far. No sleep, constant feeding, clinging, arrrrhH! Makes me tired just thinking about it.

I promise you that it is a phase of development and it will pass. :hug:

I camped out on a matress on the floor of DD's room because the feeding was so constant then at 6mths we had a break through.

Now feeding is a total joy! You feed less and it becomes more about enjoying each others closeness and bonding rather than the constant demand on your body and mind..

Keep expressing how you are feeling. We are all here to support you. :hug:

:hug: hun. This is a very difficult age :hug:

I know it's not going to help you now, but it does get better. Many mums switch to formula at this age for the same reason, but most of the time it makes no difference, and it can make it worse. You have done such an awesome job bfing for 5 months - I know you can do this. Is there anyway you can get someone to help out for a day so you can get some extra rest? I also second the idea of taking Blake to bed with you.

Best of luck hun. I hope this phase passes quickly for you.

Thanks everyone for your support! We had a much better night - In bed at 8pm (both of us lol)power feed at 3am - 15 mins - then awake again at 5.30am. He played in his cot until 6.30am when he hopped into my bed for a feed and promptly went back to sleep:dance: Fed again at 8am - and back to sleep again until 9.30!!!!

Consequently am feeling a bit more human today (and a bit more rational). I think I am also stressing at the prospect of returning to work at the end of the month and the effect that will have on my bf. I did give him 80mls of formula yesterday - but just to see if he would take it- he has his first day of FDC in two weeks:crying:. I will have to start a new thread for advice on how this can work????

Thanks again for all the hugs and support - it means so much to know I am not alone in my mothering journey...:hug:

Glad you had a better night. It is a really up and down stage at this age. ITs amazing what a good night sleep can do for you. :)

I also returned to work when DD was 6months old 2 days a week. I managed to express a bottle for her but was stressed about the fact that I used to feed her to sleep and knew I wouldnt be able to express enough milk to do that.

Consequently it turned out that with me not around she didnt need to be fed to sleep. I would bf her before I left 8am (you can do it when you arrive at FDC if you like or just before you leave the house) then she would have her bottle that I expressed at 12pm and then I would be there to pick her up at 3:30-4pm so I would feed her as soon as I got to picking her up. Then she would have a few more BF before bedtime jsut to keep my supply going and to empty my boobs as I didnt express when I was at work.

He will soon take solids more and more and that helped as well.

I think when DD was 9mths I stopped expressing a bottle as she would have about 240mL for her one milk feed when I wasnt there and I just couldnt express that much so she had a FF when I was at work but I didnt lose my supply.

I am only telling you this because I dont want you to think that because you tried him on formula that your BF journey is over. Its not at all. You just have to do whatever works for you and him.

I am loving my BF journey and even though DD has the occasional bottle of formula when I am at work it hasnt changed her love of the boobie.

This is a really hard month for you and him in his development and your transition back to work but I promise you will both get through it. :hug: Keep up the great work. I hope tonight goes well and make sure you come and report back in to us tomorrow morning. :)

I am really glad you had a better night, sometimes a good sleep can change the way you look at things - now just to get that mirage .... mmmm a good sleep....:lol:
Rach xx

:

---

The last few nights dd hasn't wanted to go down and seriously feeding her laying down in bed and letting her suck away has been the only thing to get her to settle.

---

Same here we do this almost every evening and sometimes if Im extra tired in the day as it beats the struggle and tears..sometimes we sleep together and sometimes I put her in her bed once she is well and truly asleep.

I hope it gets better hun...:hug:

:

---

Thanks everyone for your support! We had a much better night - In bed at 8pm (both of us lol)power feed at 3am - 15 mins - then awake again at 5.30am. He played in his cot until 6.30am when he hopped into my bed for a feed and promptly went back to sleep:dance: Fed again at 8am - and back to sleep again until 9.30!!!!

Consequently am feeling a bit more human today (and a bit more rational). I think I am also stressing at the prospect of returning to work at the end of the month and the effect that will have on my bf. I did give him 80mls of formula yesterday - but just to see if he would take it- he has his first day of FDC in two weeks:crying:. I will have to start a new thread for advice on how this can work????

Thanks again for all the hugs and support - it means so much to know I am not alone in my mothering journey...:hug:

---

I was going to suggest some support from either Karitane or Tresillian - if you are BF'ing, you'll be given priority.

As for FDC, I am a FDC Carer (well, on Mat leave now) and it depends on how far away from the Carer you are as to your options in feeding.

I had one mumma that worked close, so would pop in a couple of times through the day to feed her littlie, and that worked well. Another mum tried the same thing, but her littlie would get distressed that she'd see mummy go a couple of times per day, so she started expressing and she would take the bottle from me with no worries (she was hungry and I didn't smell like her mummy)

Depends on what you feel comfortable with and how flexible your Carer is.

:

---

I was going to suggest some support from either Karitane or Tresillian - if you are BF'ing, you'll be given priority.

---

Thanks M2, good advice except I'm not prepared to do ANY CC/CiO - which seems to be what the "sleep schools" do??? We watched a Karitane video at Mothers group and I was crying watching other peoples babies scream.

My FDC mum seems really nice - he'll be on formula for the time he's away - but I'm ok with that - just hope he doesn't get to like it more than the boobie!:o

CF - There are a couple of BB mums who give formula during the day whilst bub is in care and then bf at other times. I believe this is can be done successfully. However be prepared for bub to want you a lot in the evenings and during the night. You've done a great job establising bfing so far and I am sure your DS will still love to bf.

Some one please correct me here if I am wrong. You could give bub formula in a sippy cup if you don't want to get him used to the bottle.