Not MY problem...

It seems that I am the only one that doesn't have a problem with my DS's sleeping habits. DS is 8 months old and wakes 3 hourly during the night for feeds. People always have some opinion about it and the general consensus is that something is wrong and that by this age he should be sleeping through the night, or at least a lot more hours than 3 in a row. Actually, I have to give DH credit, because even though sometimes he mentions that DS should be sleeping longer, he admits that as long as things are working for me and DS, that he'll support any sleeping strategy I want (I'm breastfeeding, and DH is able to sleep through all the night waking and feeds, so he has no problem with sleep, lol).

Personally, I think that Kyson's sleeping is just fine. He has a pretty good routine or naps during the day (which he put into place, not us) and a fairly stable bedtime. Also, he co-sleeps with us. His cot is side-carred on my side of the bed. His routine is basically as follows:

6.30-7am - Wakes up and gets up with DH for a play while Mummy has a little snooze.

8.30am-ish - Comes back to bed for a quick feed (to prolong his naptime) and goes back to sleep. This nap is usually a double cycle, so 1 1/2 hours.

12pm-12.30pm - Middle of the day nap.

4pmish - Afternoon nap

(Usually one of the second two naps is a double cycle and the other is a single cycle. So if the midday nap is 45mins, then the afternoon nap will be 1 1/2 hours).

After his afternoon nap he turns into a snuggle bear and just wants to be cuddled for about half an hour to an hour and he often dozes during that time.

7.00pm - The curtains get closed, has his bedtime feed, read a book, then get ready for bed

7.30pm - Bedtime. I bounce him to sleep. I hold him in my arms while I bounce on the fitball, lol.

11pm - He has a semi-dreamfeed, nappy change, then back to sleep without a fuss.

2amish - Wakes for a feed.

5amish - Wakes for a feed.


The feeds during the night only take about 15 minutes at the very most and then he is back in his cot and we are both back asleep. All up I would say he gets about 10.5 - 11 hours of sleep each night, and nearly 4 hours of naptime during the day. I read that he should be getting about 14 hours a day of sleep, so he is over that amount. He's a happy, loving little boy, and I'm quite happy with how things are in regards to his sleeping. Of all the other people I know with babies of a similar age, I know a lot of them are worse off than we are. I just wish people would stop making me feel like something is wrong because he doesn't sleep through!


*sigh* Just wanted to get that off my chest, lol. I know I'm doing the right thing for Kyson :D

:hug: i know exactly what you mean! i always think more about how interrupted my sleep is when other people talk about it. most of the time i'm okay with it, but lately it's really been getting me down & feeling like i'm doing the wrong things. it sounds like kyson is going really well & seeing no one else has to get up, then they shouldn't be so concerned!

hon...i seriously could have written your post.....coz its almost exactly my situation here...
My H is 7 months....b/fed, wakes 3 hourly....im okay with it now...around the 4mth mark i went thru something (dunno what you would call it :D) but was finding it really hard, and really frustrating that my lil man wasnt sleeping through. Got over that....and just prod along now.
Like your son, hes a happy, content lil boy. H will have a sleep 1.5 hrs after waking up (usually 7am), then have a afternoon nap that is usually 2 hrs (first sleep is anything from 45 mins to 1 hr max)...so very similar to your DS....
I have family and friends saying i should go to sleep school, he should be sleeping thru by now, blah, blah, blah...well you know what...he's not, and im ok with that, my DH is ok with that, and my other children arent bothered by it. So who else should care....really ?????

For what its worth...your lil boy sounds divine, and sounds like he is doing just fine...just like you and DH......so enjoy him, coz this first year zips past so fast......and hon...one day, one day he will sleep through.....he's just not doing what the text book says....

GL....

Sound's like he's set himself a great routine. If he's happy & you're happy, why should anyone think its a problem?

In my vague memory I'm sure DS was feeding 3 times a night at 8 months & like you it didn't bother me.

:hug:

Hun, he sounds perfect! All those gorgeous sleeps during the day and following a gentle routine and all the lovely cuddles in the late afternoon! PPPFFFFTTTT! to anyone who thinks he *should* be doing anything. He's doing exactly what he needs to do, eat, sleep & grow. Honestly, the Should Police need to be issuing a few more fines to anyone who dares mention *should* around babies!!

There is no sleeping problem I can see - blow a raspberry at those who *suggest* otherwise. Or tell them it isn't problem for you so it shouldn't be a concern of theirs!!!

DH used to joke about sleep school, but has learnt that even the jokes upset me. He's wonderfully supportive though. He doesn't like to hear DS cry either, so he's more than supportive of the gentle approach. I would never judge anyone that goes down the CC/CIO path because I'm sure they have their own reasons and beliefs (like my SIL who had to go back to work at about 8 weeks, therefore really had to get sleep sorted out quickly...) but for our little man I just feel so comfortable with gentle methods.

Oh, and mbear, like you I went through a phase where what people were saying started to get to me and I started feeling rather down about things and started to actually feel tired. Once I accepted that Kyson just needs to wake up for a couple of extra feeds a nice and rolled with it I found myself much more at ease with the whole situation and I don't tend to feel tired anymore. Well, we do have the occasional bad night where he is unsettled and I find myself spending half the night settling him, but those nights are pretty rare.

Lol @ "Should Police" !!

If it ain't a problwm,it ain't a problem ;) ikwym- all my rellos are stressing about ds talking atm :rolleyes: Sheesh, give the kid a break...

He sounds great Krystie!

My DS has had routines like that in the past, and he's had better and he's had worse. He has tended to wake 4 hourly overnight but we've had long stretches of horrible day sleep patterns and periods like atm when he wakes 1-2 hourly overnight and it seems so random as to why his sleep improves or deteriorates. We've had periods of improvement at 7 and 8 months respectively when he started sleeping longer stretches overnight (the record being 10 hours) and actually started having afternoon naps that went longer than 40mins! (I actually posted in a thread of mbears to say 'chin up, it does get better' before it all went downhill again :rolleyes: ). Since he was about 8.5 months old, the day sleeps generally stayed good but the nights have deteriorated again, especially since Christmas. Whatever pattern he has found, it has never lasted long. I think if your DS is in a good routine then :clap: to him.

I have had the same responses from people, (family-friends-professionals) about what he "should" be doing at his age. At first it was upsetting me but now I find if I don't mention his sleep, it doesn't get discussed half as much. Some people still ask about it specifically but I try to keep it vague (before I was often listing the times of his feeds the night before because I was really focused on what he was doing :wall: ). I am sick of hearing the advice to CC or CIO - like you I don't have a problem with what others do but seriously, people were suggesting it even if I was just talking about my child's sleep (not complaining about it) and they make out like it's some kind of new technique or like it's something I haven't thought of doing before.

Sorry to rant on in your thread! You're definitely not alone (except I genuinely am tired from all the broken sleep I've had lately). My strategy atm is to not mention it to others. Your son is not a textbook baby, he's a real, live, healthy, happy, cuddly little boy.

He sounds just like my DS - Perfect!!!

Tell those who feel that they know everything that YOU are his mother and therefore YOU are the expert on him and his behaviour/sleeping and THEY can....well you can imagine or insert whatever you want to tell them.

My DS wakes twice a night for feeds too. 20 mins tops and straight back to sleep. He needs them obviously - and I love that he knows that Mummy is always here - no matter what. Those night feeds really create and strenghthen our bond I feel and I will miss them when they do go, the time is flying far too quickly as it is! I mean - hello - he'll be a year old soon! Wasn't it only yesterday when I found out I was PG???? KWIM?

KrystieLove,

I can understand how annoying this kind of thing is.

What do you usually say in response? Maybe you should try and shut it down in a nice way. People that are saying these things are probably just thinking it must be hard to wake through the night and feed and they are probably thinking you are doing this for the first time (i think by ur sig?) and so maybe they are just trying to be genuinely helpful?Maybe just say yea ppl always say things like that and it gets a little upsetting or annoying etc and that you are all really happy with your routine etc

At your ds's age yea physically he probably doesn't need to wake that much so its probably an emotional comfort thing that he loves having cuddles with his mummy and you have obviously made the educated conscious decision that this is how you want to do things. I guess that its not the *default* way of doing things...wanting your baby to sleep through and wanting to do anything to make that happen iykwim so I think ppl are just assuming well your baby isn't sleeping through so you MUST be looking for ways to stop it happening etc etc and they are trying to help even though they aren't helping! Maybe even go on and on about how much u love the special middle of the night cuddles etc

I hope this isn't annoying or that its not the kind of response you are looking for but just thinking ppl probably don't mean to upset u and maybe saying something will stop future comments??

I hear you!! People should mind their own business!! It's not like we're asking them to get up with our babies!

:

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Oh, and mbear, like you I went through a phase where what people were saying started to get to me and I started feeling rather down about things and started to actually feel tired. Once I accepted that Kyson just needs to wake up for a couple of extra feeds a nice and rolled with it I found myself much more at ease with the whole situation and I don't tend to feel tired anymore.

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Same here!!!!

pfft... sounds great to me!

FWIW none of my kids ever slept all night until they were around the 12mth mark - at least.
I wish Arlea would sleep that much!

If it's working for you, just let everything else go in one ear & out the other :hug: you're doing a great job.

If it isn't a problem for you then it isn't a problem - it sounds like it is working great for you and Kyson so keep up the good work :D

If you don't have a problem with it then don't listen to anyone else. Enjoy those lovely sleepy nighttime cuddles... I still do. Even though I get tired some days, I really enjoy my cuddles & miss them when DS does occasionally sleep through.

just roll with it hun! DD was a perfect sleeper from about 5 weeks - she would sleep through for up to 11 hours - now we're on a 3 hourly thing over night most nights - and it doesn't bother me in the least. i figure she has a reason to wake up, and i'm going to attend to that reason! i have drinks of water through the night so i can't expect her to not drink!

DH and I both wake when she does (she is on his side of the bed so he gets up to her) but she wakes, whinges, feeds, and is back asleep in 15mins max, during which DH sleeps anyway. it isn't bothering us, so we simply go with it. if people ask, i just say she's a good kid (which she is!) and close the discussion down - or put the focus on the bits that she IS doing, not the fact she isn't sleeping through - like good day sleeps, eating solids, her latest new word.... i've had the sleep school thing thrown at me more often than i can mention - always by people that haven't had a child in YEARS - and none of them parented their kids the way WE want to parent DD

as has been said - if it's not a problem for you, then it's not a problem

If you're happy and bubs is happy - you are CLEARLY doing something right! Go with your instincts sounds great to me!
Rach xx

Kaz - It took a long time for Kyson to push his daytime naps longer than the 45 minutes too. Once he started doing it I found I was checking on him all the time to make sure he was ok, lol! part of me is almost glad that he never started giving me longer stretches at night, because I can imagine that it is harder to go back to frequent wakings after getting used to full nights of sleep again.

Roses - I think they are perfect too :D I just wish there was a way I could make him grow up less quickly hehe.

Jas - I think you are exactly right. I don't think people are saying things to upset me. I think they honestly think I must think that it's a problem and that I would want help or suggestions. When people start asking what technieques I'm using to get him to sleep longer, I just tell them that I'm just following Kyson's lead and gently letting him decide when he's ready to sleep longer :)

Heaven - I remember that you made a post a while back about sleeping as well. It's so good to hear that you've found "peace" with the way things are too. I'm sure we're going to miss these snuggly middle of the night feeds when they have grown up and won't even let us kiss them anymore!

BG - Isn't it odd how people equate a "good baby" with one that sleeps through the night? I think it's the strangest question when people ask "is he a good baby?". I always answer "of course he is, he's the best" :D

Thanks to everyone for their comments. Sometimes it's just really reasurring to have others give you a bit of a pat on the back. xoxox

Loving the sound of that routine, Krystie. As you know, that's more sleep than Phoebe and I are getting atm. Wish I could be as relaxed about it as you, but your attitude is encouraging and inspirational. One day I'm sure we will sleep. LOL!

Krystie - the saying "if it ain't broke, dont fix it" comes to mind here, although Kyson's routine might not suit other mothers, who cares, it only needs to suit one Mummy - YOU!

I used to get sick of people asking if Bailey slept through the night - in the end I just started saying YES, much easier and then people stop offering you 'advice' that you really dont need or want.

Every situation is different, we've been working on our sleep here as I am going back to work in 8 weeks, so sleeping through the night in our household has a different effect to yours (I'm making this point to show that every families needs are different LOL).

Anyway, from meeting you and your beautiful smiley Kyson and seeing endless photo's there is no doubt in my mind that what you are doing is absolutely PERFECT - so keep doing it, you are raising a wonderful, happy, healthy and confident little man!!

Nay x

Just read your post and had to laugh - a friend of mine said my 7and a half week old should be sleeping through by now! She also thinks he needs to go on solids because he's a big baby and has lots of feeds. AT SEVEN WEEKS OLD!!! Suffice to say I totally disregard any parenting advice she gives out.

Some people have some funny ideas don't they? Lol.

Just wanted to thank everyone again for all their support.

I had someone ask me today "Is he a good baby?". I said "of course he is". They then said "so he sleeps through the night then?". Grrrrrrrr! Comments like that make me SO angry! Just because a baby doesn't sleep through the night DOES NOT make then a bad baby! Sorry, had to vent! :P

Oh I hate that "good-baby" question too Krystie!! It really bothers me. I generally say "well there's no such thing as a bad baby is there?" It (hopefully) makes them stop and think about what they've just implied (probably unintentionally).

I read in another thread recently that up to 50% of babies don't sleep through the night regularly during the first year. So if people want to equate good with sleeping through, we should ask them if they did or didn't sleep through when they were a baby!

Hey hun, Kyson sounds perfectly 'normal' to me !!!! ;) Nothing wrong with his sleeping.
He's a perfectly normal baby who wakes when he needs to and settles however he needs to.

We co-sleep, DD wakes often still at 13mths of age, but we don't stress about it and a few mths ago learnt to accept that she just needs us in the middle of the night (sometimes more than once or twice!! LOL!) and that's okay too.

PPPffft!!!! Don't worry what others think. What would they know about Kyson anyway? ;)

I can't believe sleep schools even exist.

Hope it's all going well chick x

Aah yep. Both mine fed frequently overnight for months and months and months.

I night weaned DS at 15 mths when I was 3 mths pregnant with DD, but you know what.. he still woke at night until he was 2 1/2. Whether they are waking for milk or for comfort, both are important needs that we should meet. Sounds like you're doing a great job.

and FWIW I know my kids both still needed those night feeds at that age. No way was it just comfort feeding. In fact that's when they got their best feeds!

I used to just reply with "I don't understand why it worries you.. it's not you waking up at night" since it was mostly my mother that would harp on about it. I think people are so afraid of setting up bad habits with babies... but honestly.. we have had no habits formed from the frequent feeding, cosleeping etc etc that we've done. Unfortunately people need to actually see the results to believe you on that score... but once you prove that there was no rod for your back, it's much easier with the next baby to fob off the silly comments.

ETA: oh... but one thing that really really annoyed me... because we'd chosen not to "train" our babies to sleep all night.. we somehow lost the right to have a tired day and have a whinge. If I even mentioned that we had a bad night and I was really tired, I received little sympathy and it just started up the stupid comments and suggestions of how to make them sleep. argh. Just let me have a vent and feel tired!