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What do you do when your friend or family member use the name that you were going to use for your baby.
I have had this happen to me and I have to say I was hurt by what the person did and even she rubbed it in by saying "Don't you dare use the name. Because it's mine now."
How did you cope?
A friend of ours just used our baby boy name. Pure coincidence, but still. What can we do? Too late now.
Not a very nice thing for someone to do on purpose though!
My DH and I used both names in one go that my SIL had picked out: she wasn't even pg at the time:rolleyes:
But it was purely by coincidence as we didn't tell anyone what we had chosen until DD was born, so there were no hard feelings as no-one hat ever put tabs on names.
I would choose what you like and don't tell anyone.
First in, best dressed, I'd say!
This is why I do not share names...People are so mean sometimes.
A friend of mine did use a name (I dont think she did it to hurt/upset me though) i had chosen for our DD but we felt Lyla suited her better and were going to use it on our next daughter (if we're lucky enough to have another) i was and still am upset by it cos i did mention the name to her after she had told me her list of names and said how much i still wanted to use it and then BOOM her baby is born with that name... Not much you can do :shakehead:
2 years ago friends of ours letus know that they planned on using our girl name that we love if their baby was a girl. They ended up having a boy so I was like "phew!", but last year other friends had a baby girl and used our name, they had no idea it was 'our name' though. I am certainly not angry about it, just shows they have good taste :)
DH and I have come up with a new girls name, so hopefully that wont get taken either!
Id use it anyway. I really dont get in to this name ownership thing. While I was pregnant with DS2 I thought one of my friends might use hte name I had picked out. Turns out she didnt, but if she had I was going to use it anyway - neither of use had discussed names.
This is why we don't share our names - I am with my-three-monkeys first in best dressed !!
Funny this should come up. When my sister was pregnant with her son she mentioned to me that she was finding it hard to come up with a girls name because I'd stolen her girls name for my DD. I had no idea I'd done that. DD is now 10 and at the time she was born my sister had no man in her life and no intentions of having any children.
I think the best way to cope would be to have several names picked out. Don't get your heart set on just one name. That way you always have something else. There are so many beautiful names - I have the problem of loving so many names that I can't pick just one. Dh had to pick DS's name from a list of about 20 that I liked.
If you do pick a name that has special meaning to you, such as being named after a much loved grandparent, then I would use it anyway.
Also, if anyone asks what names I have picked out, I tell them something that I like that DH doesn't that way if they "steal" it, no big loss.
I don't think people do it on purpose necessarily. I often hear a name then think "oh that's a lovely name" but in the baby name book, it had no appeal. It is rather rude if they know you have picked it then rub it in your face though - that shows they haven't forgotten it was yours. Not much you can do though.
Simple - Don't tell people!
No one owns a name anyway so i don't consider it to be stealing.
THis whole ownership of names thing is ridiculous. If I had a second boy I would have called him William. My cousin(who I am very close to) had a baby boy 5 months before I had my daughter. She called him Will. As it turns out I had a girl, and i am not having any more kids. You can't put "dibbs" on a name just in case. Anywaay I would have jsut called my child William as well. neither of us care about stuff like that.
My son is James. my DH has 50 first cousins, and there are now 4 of us that have called our sons james. I don't care!
Just name your children whatever you wan't.
When we had DS2 I really liked Cooper as a name but we decieded on Lachlan instead!! A few months later we became friends with people who have a cooper!! We are now expecting our fourth and this friend has said to me that if we still like the name then we can use it, as it does not worry them in the slightest!! Really a TRUE friend would NEVER steal your name if they knew you wanted to use it, and i consider my friend to be so precious to say that to me even thought i dont think we will use the name cooper if this bubs is a boy!!!!
I feel really sorry for you its horrible for her to do this even though she knew you wanted to use this name!!!! Honestly stuff her just use it and just explain to people who you both know that she used the name even thoughyou had already told her that you were going to use the name!!!!
GOODLUCK
I agree no dibs on names, if you love something use it, what if they never end up using it it gets wasted!! And there's a nice way to discuss it too rather than "don't you dare use it!"
Any name can be used regardless of whether a family member or friend have used it. I have 2 sets of cousins with the same name - it is just good taste ;) Your friends may not be the same 10 years from now and your new friends may have a child with the same name. I am sure you wouldn't reject a friend based on the name of their child being the same as theirs??
If you love a name - use it. If people get their knickers in a twist that is their problem.
I thought about it and yes I know people can't put dibs on names. So yes I will be using the name but changing spelling etc.
Good idea!!
I'd use it anyway!
If thats what you like and it suits your bubba, then thats all that matters.
We had been planning a baby for a very long time and had names picked for both which a few people in the family knew about. It took us ages to conveive but in the meantime my silly 16yr old SIL got pregnant to her drop kick bf, found out she was having a girl and used our girl name & deliberately rubbed it in our face. It hurt heaps and also as we didnt conceive until she was 5months pregnant so it was a really hard time on top of it all, so I know how you feel.
I know people cant control what people call their kids, but I do think its rude, hurtful & outright mean to use a name that you know a loved one is planning to use if they have a bub on the way or are desperately trying to conceive!
And as for using the name anyway.. Its not something I would do. I like different names & certainly dont want my child having the same name as their cousin that they will see all the time.
Good on you for sticking with the name :)
If you really love a name you should go for it regardless of what anyone else chooses.