Lack of appreciation reached breaking point...

My kids fail at appreciation. Dreadfully. We are hardly "pov" and they do not go without on basics, treats and affordable stuff, but when you say no to something silly like a DS or a mobile phone with coke and fries, they get all uppity and snippy at us..

The camels back copped one straw too many the other day when as per usual, my children, asked to clean up their own mess, started the usual job designation fight. Miss A as always takes over and gives herself the easy job and assigns everything else to everyone else, causing a circus parade for me of younger kids coming in to gripe about Miss A. This is followed by me going to talk to Miss A and her whinging about every thing the younger ones do, up to and including the fact that they are breathing...

This time I looked at Miss A and advised her that she had better find a way to get along with everyone because she will be living with us for some years to come... To which she spits at me "Unfortunately"

I was naturally floored by this venom laced statement and didn't talk to her for several hours while I calmed down. Then I asked her later to please tell me real reasons, not teenage drama induced reasons with ample evidence to the contrary, why its so unfortunate to live here. She hides behind "I dunno" and eventually we get "we yell at her" out of her but I am sure she has a lot of silly ideas in her head about how we dont give her all the cool crap in the world...

So DH and I have decided to take the kids to Retro World, New Millenium Style. We are taking away all the extras they get... Bare necessities only, just like when we were kids. I've hidden her laptop, there will be no access to the computer, all but the FTA channels are locked on foxtel... They want an afterschool treat, there is vegemite in the cupboard. Thirsty? Drink Water.

For now its just for a week, but if they still have no recognised how much we do do for them that we have absolutely no obligation to do, then it might stay for an encore.

Wish me luck!

wow ur strong good luck xoxox

totally understand where your coming from, we have same issue with DS at the moment.

your very rbave, and good luck will be waiting to see hwo it turns out.

i think we need to do this with DS as well. turn off his computer, take away the ipod, only entertainment will be reading adn his imagination.

school lunches may become boreing as well i think,

you have given me some food for thought.

but i agree some children these days have no idea of just how lucky they are adn how privilaged they are.

I didn't live a deprived childhood one little bit and these were the staples that we had:

* no TV during the week. There is a yard - use it
* get home, get changed, clean school shoes, wash lunch box, do music practice, do homework, feed chooks or dog, set table or bring washing in from the line (depending on which week it was)
* school lunch consisted of two pieces of fruit, sandwich (usually vegemite) muesli bar and a bottle of drink (occasionally a popper)
* if you were hungry when you got home you knew where the fuit bowl was (no way you went near the biscuit tin unless it was offered) and there was always milk and water in the fridge if you were thirsty.
* dinner was always sitting at the dining table and it was someone's turn every night to lead the conversation generally starting with a something interesting that they saw/learned/thought during the day.

I kind of wish that I could bring up my kids the same way - but I think that society will be working against me

F. Yes.

Excuse my French, but you go, mama!! Miss A will biatch and moan for a whole week, and then she'll probably thank you when she wakes up to herself :) That is an ace way to put your point across. Best of luck with it, I really hope it gets the results you're looking for! Keep us posted, please!

I think it's a great idea! Good luck with it all. I would love to do something with my DD, but she is only 2 3/4! She doesn't understand the concept but I wan't her to learn now. I have no idea how to teach a toddler appreciation and gratitude!

Thanks ladies.. good to hear that its not a knee jerk overreaction by DH and I. They just stopped saying thank you, and spend more time complaining about what we wont get them than anything else. Today the school sent a note home to return the library books Miss A and Mr C have borrowed and not returned seeing how they have moved into HS... Alternatively we can pay $200 to replace them.... $200 worth of books!?!?!?!?! been finding them all over the place. Miss A stands there "But I returned this mum" - well CLEARLY you didnt, its in my flaming hand!!!! I have a stack of 20 odd books here that belong to the school. I didn't even know they had all these! I went to check Miss A's room and she pipes up "There is no school books in there mum"... No, except this one, and this one, and this one, and this one..... No appreciation, no respect. I would normally ask where I went wrong but I can clearly remember a time when these kids had both + Manners. *sigh*

Sorry, vent, lol. I'll keep ya all posted!

Cool, keep us posted!

Good luck Inertia. Be sure to keep us posted.

:hug: You're a good mum.

is she in year 6 at school? Might be a case of being a bit to big for her boots at the moment.

i think its a great idea to do retro week. Keep us updated.

Awesome. Can't wait to hear how it goes.

10 points to Team Inertia. Wishing you and your DH unity and resolve in this parenting challenge! :hug:

This is excellent - good on you. I have also lately been thinking about how my parents or even my grandparents would deal with DSD's behaviour and almost posted a thread called "Is it time to return to 1950s parenting style".

Very interested in hearing how it all goes.

:lol: Oh you poor thing, the only way you can 'hit em where it hurts' is by taking away TV, laptops, DS, PSP's and any other luxury things they take for granted. My DD is 8 next week, and that is how we discipline her!

Good luck, I hope DD doesnt give you too much grief, welcome to the teenage years I've often heard my mother say :lol:

:clap: Will be watching to see how you go. I think I have a few kids in need of the same :rolleyes:

wow

good luck hun

will be thinking of you and hope it has the result you want

This is absolutely fantastic and I applaud you for doing it :clap:
We are a relatively technology-free home. We have the tv and computer, but that's about it. DH & I hate video games, we've never owned one, never intend on owning one either. I'm surprised the amount of friends DD1 has that already have kids computers (at the age of 3!).
I figured we grew up without the need of it all, and we turned out alright ;) I'm sure our kids will too.

Well done, I admire your resolve.:clap: I predict the whinging will get worse before it gets better ;). But I"m sure it *will* get better. I look forward to hearing how the week unfolds.

Well done mate - I think that is a fantastic way to show them your point. It beats yelling at them and trying to "tell" them all they have

I can't not reply to this thread.

Inertia, what an amazing team you and your hubby are. I applaud your tenacity to make a stand to your children that this behaviour is unacceptable in your eyes. Ultimately it is to their benefit even though they wont realise it at the time.
I remember the times when I was a kid and we had the basics. We never complained and whinged that we didn't have this and that. We were told we wanted it we had to earn the cash to get it.

Good on you!! Keep up the good work..

totally awesome.

I think what you & your Dh are doing is great. Maybe showing the kids how the other half live may help too. Here's some interesting shots of kids not so well off:

Delhi construction | Delhi's slave labour shame | Herald Sun

what a great idea

Day 1: HOOOOOOOOOOLY HANNAH! We should have done this ages ago.. They didnt fight with each other, and they went to bed at bedtime without so much as a "But mum"!!!! Quietest night I remember since the night before I went into labour with Miss A, lmao.

Miss L had a bit of a spit about not being allowed her usual spaghetti after school and DH has had his own whoops moments where he bought them a couple of bottles of soft drink and yoghurts today but the drinks will keep and we'll see about the yoghurt.. So far so good... but its only been 24 hours....

I hear you babe ! i get the same thing going on here drives me to the rum can almost every night lol lol i see your oldest is going to be a teenager soon you may find you are getting a bit of hormonal tantrums not sure if you are thinking the same but i found evening primrose helps with mood swings ( even at this age DD 1 was 8 when it started for her) there is also a book Princess ***** face syndrome give it a read it will really open your eyes and give you some help with coping Good luck !!!!

I'm so excited about Retro World : Millennium Style!! Can't wait to hear how it all goes! Thrilled that you got peace & quiet on day 1 :cheer:

that is fantastic totally something id do...ive just done that with ps,ds and wii games to ds5 and only two days the difference is great, m glad ur not just whinging but being to soft to stick to it :clap:

sounds like you've already got some answers for yourself. and no matter what they're not happy ( kids that is). good luck

How'd it go Inertia????

You are handling this exactly the right way!! Good on you!!

Go Inertia! You rock!

Love this idea- keep us updated on how it goes!

Fabbo job!! How's it been going??

I too am interested to hear how it ends up. Not sure if it would work for my lot but can always try it if needed.

You go Inertia

You have my wholehearted full support & "I get ya sister's"... :hug: