misscarriage and eptoic pregancy

I just need to tell someone before I go mad! I found out I was pregant in March this year went for a scan as they thought I had an eptoic pregancy. I went for a scan and found out I was seven weeks pregant, sent me home and said everything is ok? I then misscarriaged one week later after seeing the scan. I couldn't believe it I had seen this baby heart beat and they said it would be fine?!!. So I tryed to cope and started to look forward and planned to have another try. six months later I thought I was pregant, went to my doctors as I missed my period for 10 weeks, Yes I'm pregant how great is that, did tests after tests, no positive ones. Maybe I'm just going mad or something?. Then a few weeks ago I had really bad pain and bleeding? I lossed clots and went to my doctor, she said you can't be pregant as you have done tests. So I went to work, the next day I put a test in at the doctors. Got a phone call my doctor said it is positive but it sounds like you have misscarriaged. Went for a scan on the 5th November 2004. Sent home with a complete misscarrige. That night more pain and got rushed in with eptoic pregancy. Monday the 8th November they got me to sign a form and rushed me to theater, I was having a etopic and it was about to burst. How can you take all that in, Where do I go from here they took my right tube and left me with one. It was hard the first misscarriage, how do I cope now can anyone help I can't stop crying over the loss of them taking my baby from me and taking my chances for a baby is there light at the end of the tunnel, as I'm still wanting a baby with my partner. Someone please listen!

Hi Star,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and your eptoic pregnancy.
Big :hugs: to you.
I don't know anything about having an eptoic but i know one of the others girls have had one and maybe able to help you out.

Please come back and chat when ever you need to as the girls here are great to talk to.

:hugs:

Star - Oh youpoor thing, what a thing to have to go through. Mine was a miscarriage and not eptopic so sorry I can't really help you on that one. Have teh doctors said anything about it. As the others have said, please come and join us in TTC after M/c and loss even if you aren't for a while. The support is just wonderful and I found it was/is my saving grace in coming to terms with what happened. My thoughts are with you and your DP.

Oh Star, sweetheart, I feel for you. Nobody should have to go through that. BIG :hugs: .

I wish there was something I could tell you to make it all better. I have had an eptopic too. Over 3 years ago now, however it did not get to the stage yours did. It is hard because you wonder how do you stop something like that happening? I have had 2 further mc's since that one, but were not eptopic.

Give yourself time to grieve over all of this and let yourself feel what you have gone through - we dont always have to keep a smile on our faces for the sake of it. But if you want to keep your chin up (which I know is a lot easier said than done right now), try and remember it is amazing the things that can be achieved with technology. I would try and find a good specialist who can help you decide what are your best options.

I have heard of a woman who had no ovaries whatsoever, yet they managed to transplant or something and Bam! She is pregnant, so there is usually always hope.

Hang in there & know that you have plenty of support in here.



Keen

Aww Star, I am so sorry to hear of what you have been through. HUGE :hugs: :hugs: sweetie.

I am afraid I can't help you with the eptopic pregnancy as mine was just a missed miscarriage. Although I do have a friend who had an eptopic and has just given birth to her new bub. I am sure there will be few girls in here that can help you with your questions.

As the other girls have said, please come and join us in th TTC after m/c and loss forum as you wil find lot's of support. I know personally, I would not have coped as well as I have emotionally without all these wonderful girls here. Again :hugs: to you.

Oh Star, what a terrible time for you :hugs:
I'm so sorry you have had to deal with all of this. No one should ever have to go through these issues. It is totally understandable that you are upset and confused over everything that happened. Like Kazz I have not had an ectopic, only a missed miscarriage but dealing with this loss was the hardest thing.
Just give yourself time to greive over your losses and if you feel the need perhaps it would be helpful to talk to a counsellor about how you are feeling. I've made use of them in the past and it has been invaluable.

I'm sure you will still be able to have your baby, and perhaps when you are feeling up to it you should go to see a specialist for advice.

Take care star and please come and join us in the TTC after M/C & Loss thread, even if you are not TTC just yet. Everyone in there is really wonderful and have been a great support to me, and I'm sure you will find the same thing.

If you ever need to chat just let me know.

:hugs:

Hi Star,
I'm sorry so that you have had to go through such a traumatic experience. As you said, one miscarriage is hard enough but to have to cope with the loss of a second baby and now having reduced fertility must be so difficult.
However, it still sounds like your chances of becoming parents are good and I know of a few girls who have fallen pregnant easily after losing a tube. Hey, you still have the other one!
I know there is one girl in "TTC after miscarriage or loss" who would know exactly what you are going through and I'm sure you will find all the girls in there extemely supportive.
My own experience was different to yours but with my last pregnancy they suspected an ectopic pregnancy and told me to prepare for that. I have to say that was the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with.
It turned out I had a blighted ovum instead and ended up having a d&c at 9 weeks. Not easy to go through but at least I knew my baby would never have developed, it was not just that it was stuck in the wrong place. I'm sorry if this sounds a bit blunt but I hope you know what I mean. I can relate to how you must be feeling about the loss of that baby.
Anyway, I wish you all the best for the coming months and I'm sure that you will find all the understanding and support you need here.

Love
Layla

Hi Star,

Im so very sorry for the loss of both your babies.

I myself havent had an ectopic pregnancy but i do understand the pain of losing a child. I lost my daughter Katelyn at 18 weeks gestation in March.

However my best friend lost her first baby a few years ago to an ectopic pregnancy. The circumstances were very similar to what you have had to go through. She was very lost afterwards and found that she couldnt get much information from her doctors about how this would affect her fertility and she was very frightened that she would never conceive again.

I am happy to say that she now has a beautiful, healthy 18 month old daughter and is 23 weeks pregnant with her second child (a son). So dont give up hope, she lost a tube and has conceived two children.

Im sending you a big hug and come around and chat because all the girls here are so supportive.

Love Sarah

Hi Star,
im so sorry for your loss.What alot you have had to deal with.
i have had 2 m/c myself so i know where you are coming from.If you ever need someone to talk just give us a yell.Just to help you in anyway at all.
i hope you have some close friends and family around?As for what you have been through would be so hard to go through alone.
Best Wishes to you and never give up Hope.
Big Hugs from Hopeful.

Star, I am so sorry to hear of what you have been through lately, it's just not fair.
I hate to see new people join this thread and thats not due to not wanting to meet new people but as I know that they has experienced pain like no other. I know how invaluable the girls on here have been for me over the past 3 months and I hope we can all now help you out in any ways possible.
You just have to remember to do what is right for you though, if you need to cry, yell, vent whatever feel free to do it and not just on here, in life too.
I hope you have plenty of friends and family around for you at the moment, to support both you and your partner.

Again, I am so deeply sorry to hear all that you have been through, there is nothing though that anyone can say to fix things, time will have to do the work unfortunately. Pleas know though that we are all here for you when you need us.

Love and hugs

Hi Star,

So very sorry to hear of your losses. Allow yourself time to grieve these losses & don't put too much pressure on yourself to make decisions about the future.

A girlfriend recently had to have one of her tubes removed due to having a large cyst wrapped around it & she was assured that only having the one tube wouldn't affect her fertility as her other one would make up for it. So there is definetly light at the end of the tunnel in so much as your wanting a family with your partner.

Know that we are here whenever you need someone to talk to.

Dear Star,

I'm so sorry for your losses this year.

But, if support, friendship, reassurance, laughter and just general madness sometimes, is what you're after, or you need, you have definitely come to the right place. These girls, not only in the MC threads, but on BB as a whole, have been a wonderful support, partly for the fact that they know what you're going through, to a certain extent, and partly because they do genuinely care.

Most importantly though, make sure you take enough time for yourself and your DH. This is one heck of a roller coaster ride, but with the right support, you will get through it.

Sending you many hugs and much love.

Take care sweetie,

Star

I am so sorry that I have missed your post until now. I too have had a m/c and ectopic pg. With my ectopic I had to have a second op as I also suffer from endo. I have lost my left tube due to the ectopic and endo. So I know what you are going through. I am happy to offer any support that you need. Just let me know. I also have replied to you in the other thread, so any questions fire away.

It has been the worst year of my life and now we are in a state of fertility limbo, not knowing is the worse. Please chat away, as I know it is comforting to be able to speak to someone who has experienced the same pain and loss.

Hope to hear from you soon

Hi Star

I am so sorry to hear of your losses. It sounds like you really have been through a terrible time this year. I hope that sharing your story with us and letting it all out has helped a little. Please feel free to post at any time & we will do whatever we can to support you. I see that you have started posting in TTC after M/C or Loss, so I hope to chat with you a little more in there.

*Hugs*

Excuse me if I am sounding full on but my heart breaks at the thought of you feeling how you do. I read your post and what hit me the most was about them taking your baby and your chances for another.
I know I dont know how you feel but I just wanted to say this.
Right now I know you feel resentful but as hard as it is losing our babies for stupid reasons it seems we have to accept what has been.
I guess im trying to say (and I dont know how) is as much as its hurts to know it was a complication and not the baby and that you as me were not given a choice but to say good bye we have to accept what is.
As im writing this im afraid ill be black balled or something for sounding callous but that is sooo the opposite of my intention.
I know there are only small positives in this devasting situation, such as a chance. But nothing replaces the angels we lose.
To know they would have been if only is a common thought among us all and to hate those who deliver us such news hurts. Ill never forget the look on that doctors face when he told me that within a few hrs I would lose him.
From one heart broken mummy to be to another dont bash your self up Baby had to leave as hard as that is they also saved you and as we sit here now sooo confused about what happens now in our own ways we have to be grateful for even that small cahnce things will be ok.
We keep our angels next to our heart and try to smile as they would want us to.
Sometimes life bestows us
Troubles we think we can not bare
Its hard to think about tomorrow
And know you wont be there
But in this sorrow I find honour
To think that you were mine
Even though you graced my presence
For much to short a time
I get to only imagine
The man you would have been
I can only feel the shadows
Of the sights you would have seen
My heart is filled with sadness
To never hear your voice
To never feel your laughter
And to not be given a choice
I love you my little son
You will always travel in my heart
And ill try to remember your always there
Though every moment we share is apart
I can not write this as goodbye
Those words will never come
For I know one day you’ll be smiling at me
And I will see again the face of you, my beautiful son.

I wrote that for my son.
I do hope I have not sounded rude, I just know it hurts like hell right now and true words sometimes help us through. xxxxxxxxxx :hugs:

Loveburbourne youe words were beautiful and I know that I can't speak for everyone but I can't imagine that you have upset anyone with your truthful words. I couldn't have been easy for you to share those with us all.

Thank you.

Oh wow lovebourbon, that was so beautiful and so bloody hard to read.
Thanks for sharing that with us.
How are you doing? 8-[

Thinking of you,
Layla

Hi Star,

I just recently suffered a miscarriage...
Like you I found no assistance with how to cope with the loss,
or support from what I'd just experienced.

My short duration of pregnancy I had nothing but pain, yet
no one bothered to question why. I have taken the inititive
to book in to see a Gynaecologist in the new year to try &
get some answers.

I wish you well & pray that your next pregnancy is a happy
one.

Hugs

Tammy

Hi all
How are you going??
I only just recieved a topic reply notification ?? doesnt matter just glad to see that my words were taken the right way.
Hope your doing ok...
Me? Im taking each day as it comes, feeling very isolated with my feelings... Missing him heaps. But ill be ok.

Tammy - So sorry to hear of your recent loss, hopefully you will be able to find the support you need with the girls on here though. I know they were a grat help to me and also my DP as I was able to get alot off my chest and get some answers from the others too.

Loveburbourn - It's great to hear that you are doing better lately, It gets easier with time yet you never forget and I dont think anyone ever could really.