Printable View
How does everyone feel about this?
Do you think that anyone has a right to see your weight?
Are you okay weighing in in front of strangers but not loved ones or vice verser or both or neither?
Just after others experiences, then I will comment on my own...
I think im ok with strangers but not my DP haha. I just joined a weightloss group and you all weigh in the same room but only the ladies taking the meeting can see the weight. I just think in my case everyone is there for the same reason and your weight is important to you I dont think I would care what someone elses weight is.
Hope you havent had bad expereiences.
HTH :)
I would be humiliated. I think it is not on. Regardless of whether or not you are seeking help it is a personal thing and there are a string of emotions with that - sometimes these take seconds and other times hours to dissolve.
I hardly ever weigh in front of DF - i always tell him - but i need those moments to digest the results and how i feel about that, IYKWIM. I don't think it would matter whether or not I had 40kg to lose or 10kg to gain... so personal.
I think there should be room for both - if someone doesn't particularly care who sees their weight thats great, but there shouldn't be a fuss made if someone would prefer to do it on the quiet, KWIM?
This is just one of the MANY reasons I won't watch Biggest Loser - I hate that they are subjected to being filmed standing in crop tops and bikeshorts, with their weight flashed on a big screen, just in case they weren't humiliated enough. I know I know, they know what they're getting into, but I just don't think humiliating someone into losing weight is the right way to go about it...
*Whoops, OT, off my soapbox!*
I dont have a prob weighting in front of DH - Hell I walk around naked alot so he knows what I truely look like (and still loves me!!) so he weighes me sometimes or looks over my shoulder.
I used to go to weight watchers and the weighing lady would see my weight = then I worked as the weigher for a few yrs and would see everyones weight - I was cool with it all.
I dont know how I would go with a Biggest looser type weigh in at the start - but once it was out there I would be ok - infact I really think it might make me work harder - because if I put on weight its only me who sees it - but I would not want the public to see a gain so I would work harder.
HHmm maybe I should weigh in the middle of the street! LOL - then it might make me work harder than I am!!
Kate
:rofl: I don't mind walking around in the nudd, but letting DH see the number - HELL NO! I don't know what difference it makes though :rolleyes::
:yeahthat: :redface::
I've never been in such a situation, but I know I wouldn't like it. I think someone's weight is a personal thing and I don't like people asking how much I weigh or commenting on how I look/what they think I weigh, etc. It makes me feel very uncomfortable and I find it offensive. I have trouble maintaining a "healthy" weight and I often lose weight when I'm sick/stressed/busy. It irritates me how some people think it is okay to suggest I'm anorexic/lost too much weight/too thin/look sickly/etc but if I were to suggest they looked like they could lose a few pounds...wow now that would be rude!
I weigh in at the gym and I really don't like other people standing around seeing the number - especially men for some reason. I'm not so fussed about weight watchers meetings but the gym is a bit different. I don't let DP see my numbers but I do tell him.
The only one I don't worry about is DD1 as we weigh ourselves at the pool and I tell her the numbers - I don't want her to get a complex about weight or weighing herself so I have to be all normal and open about it.
I don't tell Dh the number, but he knows what it is without me saying it anyway - he can correctly guess the weight of a lamb in a paddock to know which ones are right for selling, so I'm pretty sure he can work me out :rofl:
back in the 80's when weight watchers first got popular my Aunty used to go to the meetings and it was real Marjorie Dawes stuff - everyone was weighed in front of everyone else and if you gained weight everyone would chant 'oink-piggy-piggy-piggy' !!! and it scared her ****less about going to WW anymore and when I started doing it as a leader she asked me if we still did that to people. I was mortified when she told me. We were told by our up-line leader that we weren't to read out weights at the meeting, but we could have a group discussion where people could share how much they had lost if they wanted to, but not their weight kwim? Some people are fine with it but for the majority it's private.
Trillian that reminds me of a weightloss group I went to as a teenager. We were weighed in private becuase some women went as far as to strip off in order to weigh lighter. If anyone put on weight they had to pay a fine of 50c, they'd go around the room and you'd have to say how much you gained or lost. If you gained you had to stand up the front and sing "I'm a fat little pig and I ate too much I'm FAT FAT FAT!" The person who gained the most weight each week would ahve to take home the 'pig' which was a plastic piggy bank looking thing. So you can see why the women used to strip off, can't you??
I didn't stay there long....
I don't like being weighed in front of others. Weight Watchers was good because only the weigher could see what you weigh.
I go to weight watchers, and you line up and only the weigher (we have 2) can see your weight. It's not a problem, just these last few weeks I've been putting on a couple hundred gram each week and I can see the disappointment/disapproval on the womans face. Like thats disgusting. Yep I've lost 11kg, but hey I've put 2 back on over HOW LONG?~?~ Wasn't like I came in last week 2kg lighter. Make me feel like a failure...
rant over :)
Insert incredulous swearing right here :o!:
back in the 80's when weight watchers first got popular my Aunty used to go to the meetings and it was real Marjorie Dawes stuff - everyone was weighed in front of everyone else and if you gained weight everyone would chant 'oink-piggy-piggy-piggy' !!!
This is the sort of self-loathing I was very carefully trained in as a not-very-fat child. It completely ****ed up my sense of weight and health and self image for at least 20 years - and made me even happier to lard my ass up as an act of political/social defiance.:
If you gained you had to stand up the front and sing "I'm a fat little pig and I ate too much I'm FAT FAT FAT!"
I *cannot* believe this sort of judgement goes on with group approval!!!
I guess back then it was just accepted as a form of encouragement because no one wanted to be the one they were singing about so they would try harder? I think it would definitely have damaged some women and it's just appalling that they thought that was a great way to approach weight loss.
Trill I know what you mean. In fact we've been watching that show "Life on Mars" (the BBC version) where this guy is vorpaled back to 1973 and the way they all talk to each other is nothing short of multiple-cringe-inducing. But none of it meant with any malice - that's the weird part.
Can i just add to this I've had plenty of public weighing moments over the last year ... alongside medical treatments. Yeah pretty excruciating (given that I'm in the 3-figure range) but every time I was surprised because the staff deal with it purely as a number (without judgement) on a continuum, and then you realise they deal with ppl of *every* size and shape. My surgeon once (and only once) expressed surprise when I told him how much I weigh (obviously I carry it well???). AND It's much better to be a fattie on the oncology ward than a skinnie...the skinnies suffer worse side effects and tend to lose a lot of weight in a really unhealthy way, whereas the fatties have a buffer to draw on.
Berenice - I have never watched Biggest Loser (until this year) for that very reason - because I thought it was a process of public humiliation. But I've seen a few eps this year and you have to understand it is done in room that is full of people who are fully supportive. And I can't imagine the general public tuning into a program like that just to laugh at the "fatties" - I think the ppl who watch are the ppl who are interested in weight loss for themselves so it tends to be a sympathetic audience for that reason. I saw the ep where each person gets up on a stage and tells the story of why they are there - not a dry eye in the room. You've got to admire their courage to embark on the weight loss program in front of the tv-viewing nation.
I think one of the really important steps to losing weight is getting real about how much you do weigh (a lot of people are in denial) and seeing your figure on a calibrated scale with another person there to see it (In my case, a dietician) helps to objectify the number...rather than all the usual subjective judgements we make (you know, one week you feel really bloated and down so you feel really 'fat' and another week you're having a good week and the particular clothes you're wearing feel good and so you feel thinner than usual). It's just a number, kwim?
Thank you all so much for your replies. It is interesting to know what others feel comfortable about.
My weight to me is a very personal thing. I know how much I weigh, I think about that each and every day so I feel that I dont need the pressure of my family and DP knowing it. I wonder why someone close to me feels the need to see me weigh in, like I am lying to them about the number I tell them. (Well sometimes it might be a couple of kilos off) but I know the truth and thats whats important.
I have done WW. Havent been for the last month as I just cant afford it at the moment and I had no problem weighing in there. They are very private about it so even if there are people directly behind you in the line, they will have no idea about your number.
What has bothered me lately and why I wanted to start this thread, is because over the last couple of months, DP has tried to coax me into the bathroom to weigh me! I have told him what I weigh, so I dont know why I need to do that in front of me.
I am already not happy with my weight and I really dont fancy someone judging me in the at of weighing me. Does that make sense?
I told him that I dont need to get on the scales in front of him as I know what I weigh, maybe its just the principle of the while thing. I have told you, so why do I have to show you kind of thing?
Anyway I am rambling.
FWIW some of what you girls have been through int he past with weighing in is absolutely shocking. No wonder people have bad body images. Whether they are a slender or curvy.
Oh Ali I wouldn't like my DH to take me into the bathroom to weigh me either. Does he think he's helping? What does he do when you tell him you don't like him doing that?
I never weigh myself infront of DH either and would never divulge my weight to him, he has no idea what I weigh. I'm pretty sure he's ok with how I look because he's never ever made any comment about it and I was the same weight I am now when we started dating.
That would really get my hackles up. Of all the people in my life, I think my DH is the person I'm least likely to discuss numbers with. He's very supportive (and he fancies himself as someone who 'helps' other ppl with their fitness goals etc - ie he trains with ppl from his work to help them get their fitness back on track) but he has NO IDEA what it's like to inhabit a chronically overweight body.:
What has bothered me lately and why I wanted to start this thread, is because over the last couple of months, DP has tried to coax me into the bathroom to weigh me! I have told him what I weigh, so I dont know why I need to do that in front of me
Has your DP said WHY he wants you to weigh yourself in front of him? I'm puzzled that he would even ask after you have provided him with a figure??? What is the reason do you think that he doesn't believe what you have said (ie do you 'fudge' when you talk to him about it)? IMO you are absolutely entitled to defend your personal boundary over this one, but I think it would be helpful for your relationship to identify why this is an issue. Are there honesty issues elsewhere that are showing up over this? Does DP somehow feel 'entitled' to your weight loss? Is there some sort of deal-making going on (spoken or implied)? It's important that you are losing weight for YOU and not for anyone else, kwim. :hug:
This has always been my experience - WW, TOWN - only you and the weight recorder see your weight.:
I didnt like the practice at our TOWN group where everyone had to state how much they had gained or lost though - kind of defeats the purpose of only the weight recorder seeing you weigh in.
Even worse was the practice where the person who had gained the most had to take a toy pig home for the week.
ETA: SNAP Tinks :)
Both of these were complained about and subsequently stopped.
We don't own scales at home, never have. I don't believe in them. Even though I have a thyroid condition which means my weight really fluctuates I won't buy them. I weight myself every few months at the doctor's surgery and if it's a concern I discuss it with my doctor. It's like any other health statistic. It should only be interpreted by the person in conjunction with a trained professional. So many things influence weight and the average person doesn't have a complete enough knowledge to correctly assess what a certain weight means. For a start: MUSCLE weights more than FAT. A person with a weight "problem" might have been really working hard to build muscle and the last thing they need is for someone to wrongly interpret that as meaning they have gained more fat. Fluid retention is another factor.
It's great if you can distance yourself from your weight enough to weigh in front of others though. That can be a sign that you are really ready to make changes and want to be accountable. But no one should recommend you do this. Humiliation as a modifer for behaviour is so last century. Surely education is the best strategy.
My Dh doesn't know how much i weigh just as he doesn't know what my current iron levels are or my exact height to the centimeter.... if I thought his input would be helpful i'd tell him. He can see with his eyes how my clothes are fitting and if he has any concerns then that should be enough to raise a discussion.
LOL at Trill's DH knowing her weight due to being a good estimate of farm stock! :D
I sooo totally understand where you are coming from! :hug:
I get so angry and frustrated with this type of behaviour as well.
You've done and are doing soo well! Keep up the awesome work! :hug: xx
Just a different perspective (one which I must admit I have adopted from my very slim DH). I used to have issues about people knowing my weight but now think - people can actually see my size. I can't stop that. I could be 100kg but if I looked and felt like a fox because I was training for an iron woman contest the number it wouldn't matter. Similarly if I weighed 70kg (my "ideal") but had low self esteem the number wouldn't matter either.
So I have no probs with people knowing my weight. I am now 83.3kg. It is obvious I could do with losing some weight. So being circumspect about the number would only draw attention to that fact, and make people think I was somehow defensive about my size (which I am not - I am overweight and I take responsibility for that).
Not saying this is the right way to feel, but it is a more "male" perspective which can sometimes be helpful....
I "get" that Rory :) Alot of what you mentioned is true... although regarding the "reponsibility" factor I know quite a few women like myself who have thyroid (metabolism) issues which is hard to take responsibility for. I'm a "lucky" one in that I have an over active thyroid (meaning that periodically my metabolism speeds up too much = rapid weight loss). But there are women who have the opposite, a slow functioning thyroid. From what I have read these women REALLY struggle to lose weight no matter how good their diet is. On a side note I really recommend a thyroid test if you feel that this could apply to you. I have also read that post natally 1 in 10 women suffer from a thyroid condition... and often it is misdiagnosed. It can be mood altering too so imagine being in the situation where your weight problem is due to a medical reason beyond your control and yet being told to be accountable for that. Although I do also agree that there are many women who DO need to address their diet... deal with the sugar addiction or whatever... and take responsibility for their food choices. I think though that the first step should be to see your doctor and get the facts. You have to know what you are dealing with.