Doing this for me...here is my story. A very honest story.

For half of my life, I had always felt like I was bigger than everyone else.

When I was in primary school, I played netball, reps (in centre, WA positions) and was so physically fit but I always felt like I had bigger legs than the other girls. I look back at the photos now and realise I wasn't. I have no idea what size I was a kid but no bigger than the other kids.

In high school, same thing, except I stopped playing netball, but still kept up tennis. I guess looking back I was a healthy size 12.

After high school I went to uni and was working a casual job in a cafe. I didn't drive back then and used to walk to train stations, bus stops, to the shops, etc alot. I got down to a size 10 jeans which was incredible for me. I use to be able to wear midrif tops and low cut jeans and really had the stomach to carry it off. However I never really thought I was skinny. But really I was.

Then I got my license and moved out of home at the age of 18.5yrs. I put on a lot of weight, went back up to a size 14. Looking back a lot of it was the freedom to go and get maccas and take out whenever, drinking lots with friends and just not living a healthy lifestyle. It clicked to me when I was working at a gym and my 3/4 length size 14 cotton sleeve was so tight around my arms that it didnt make sense that I was selling people memberships to a gym when I was clearly not the picture of health.

I was 20, I started hitting the spin classes (sometimes twice a day) and basically starved myself on eating 1 piece of frozen fish a day... :wall: hmm and that was healthy :wall: I got down to a size 10 again. Guys started staring at me again in approval. I looked hot for my 21st 9well i thought I did LOL) and I wont lie, I was really happy. I had the confidence to strut around in front of DP in sexy lingere.

Then I moved in with DP, aged 22.5yrs. I progressively put on weight. Over 4 yrs I put on 25kg. Over those years, I went on many diets, they would work and then I would stop and put on the weight I lost plus more. My grandparents, parents DP and DP's family all commented on what was going on with my weight. I would always get defensive and say I am happy, leave me alone.

This is where my body image was totally warped to the other extreme.

I no longer thought that I was bigger than other people, in fact i would always see people who were bigger than me and think "well I am not as big as them". I know now that I was. If not bigger. But it was like I was seeing a warped image of me in the mirror and that I was not fat. After all these years, my body image had taken a massive turn (but not for the better).

I then split from DP for a short time. I lost about 10Kgs without trying. Guys thought I was hot again (I was still probably a size 14 (but a small one with very healthy curves in the right places).

I got back together with DP, put on about 5kg and after 6 months I fell pregnant. Ate anything i wanted (but didnt go overboard). During pregnancy I put on a total of 8Kg. I liked my pregnant body, apart from the stretchmarks! After I had DD I lost 5.5Kg instantly and was in my pre-pregnancy jeans within a week of having DD.

That didnt last.

I then was at home all the time with a newborn and I would just eat and eat. I put on more weight over the following 6 months than I did over the 9 months of pregnancy. I was the biggest I have ever been. A size 18. Double chin, back fat, tummy fat, leg fat, cankles, you name it, I had fat there! It was at this point I knew I was fat!!

I then started going to WW wit a girl from mothers group in October last year. I had lost 10.5Kg with adding walking in 3 times a week and watching what I eat, but not really butting anything out, just the amount.

Then Christmas came, I put on 900g, then I just lost the plot in January and put on another 900g. I stopped going to WW after Christmas as I could no longer afford it.

Anyway I am back on the wagon now after a lot of inspiration from other ladies that are doing the weight loss thing for them and seeing how well the Biggest Loser people are doing. Also it freaks me out that some of them weigh less than me!

So please follow me on my journey. I really hope that I can finally do this for me and no one else.

You brave, courageous amazing woman! Thankyou for honouring us with your story! :hug:
You can do this for you darling. Step at a time, week at a time... Believe in yourself & know we are cheering you on! This is the start of something new for you... :hug:

Thank you so much beautiful Innana. I really want my spirit to grow. I think that the only time you can do something properly is if you are doing it for yourself and if you know where you have come from and where you want to go.

Thank you so much for your kind words...here and in all my other threads. :hug:

Thank for sharing with us Ali - what an honest account.

I definitely relate to a lot of what you've written. Here I am at 24 needing to lose 40kg!

Good luck with everything - you can do it! (And I can too!) :)

I admire your honesty. I too have always struggled with my weight and I know how it feels to go up and down.

I believe you can do this Hun, once and for all.

Spring xx

Sterla :hug: you are so kind and sweet. i think you are beautiful and we can do it. :hug: Thank you for being there. x

Spring Angel, thank you so much for your support :hug: It all means so much.

For me, the turning point for actually being serious about wanting to lose weight has been talking about TTC bub number 2 with DH. There's no way I want to be overweight, pregnant, and running after a toddler - I simply won't have the energy while I'm this big.

It's really all about being in the right mindset I think. And it sounds like you're there Ali :hug:.

Ali, I have to say, I admire you. I can so relate to your story, and something in me really wanted to read this particular post.

I know you can keep going. I know you can do this. You don't need luck - you need faith - faith in yourself. :hug: You CAN.

hugs hun
you are a very brave person for sharing your story!!
i too have made the decision to start to reclaim my body- although unlike you i havent been a size 14 since i was 10 years old !!
so let become yummy mummies together!!!!
You weight loss so far has been awesome well done!
lets encourage each other!!!

mwah

Thank you for sharing your story and I will be following. I also need to get back onto the wagon and will join you in a week or so. Have you thought about WW online? it is a bit cheaper and you can keep track as well. I was online and think I will rejoin again too.

YOU CAN DO IT!

I am hearing you roar!

Oh Hun. You had me in tears! Your story reminds me of me in relation to the diets/peoples comments/feelings etc.
I know how hard you have been working to do this and I have every ounce of faith in you that you can do it.
You are a beautiful, amazing woman - you have already done so well to get this far.
If you need to chat/vent about anything you know where to find me.

I know you can do this - you have the motivation and determination and it shows there in your story. :hug: xx

Oh hun you can do it.... you will and you will be fabulous and the weight will stay off!

I'm on the journey too, i look forward to keeping up to date and seeing how your going.. just remember 1 step at a time, small goals are easier to stick to.

My new mantra is: I WILL be fit and healthy for my girls!

Wow Ali!!! That is an amazing story. Thanks so much for sharing. I can relate to so much of what you say in here especially about thinking that I was always bigger than other people but when I look back at photos I realise that I wasn't. I never realised how significant (or normal) that was until I read your story.

Good luck on your journey. I really believe that you can do it! I am looking forward to following your journey :)

Thank you for sharing that Ali! I am the same with the body image distortion issues - when i was skinny I thought I was fat and then when I was fat I thought I was fine!

You can do this hun - you've already come so far :hug:

I found that I was also motivated to do it for my daughters - I don't want them to have the same issues as me and I want them to have a good role model who is also healthy and fit enough to do things with them.

Interesting enough i was most happiest when i was a nice curvy size 14 more then when i was a size 10 or 12, ... best thing i ever did was do a modeling course at the age of 30 and i was a size 14, believe me i'm NO stunner but i knew i liked ME inside & out and i could carry it off looking kind of good i guess without thinking that i didn't.

I would go to a model or casting job and strip down to my underwear when we had to change and i would do it right in the middle of a room full of guys and girls ... and the thing i was most amazed was how the skinner the chick the quicker she ran to the corner of the room to change. And my standing in the middle mean't less chance of anyone looking at me as they were too busy looking at the wall & getting changed, and also i felt proud to be the ' bigger ' one who could stand amongst everyone and take that chance if they looked and hope they thought WOW that took balls, lol :lol:

With that tool (just as Nai mentioned) i want to carry that train of thought on to my DD ... Do it for YOU first then our child ... it can't be around the other way as it wouldn't work that way as you are as Nai mentioned the ' role model ' (teacher too).

So my only advice if you had the time & could ever afford it a modeling/deportment class is just fab for your body image ... just make sure it's a school with a high reputation :dance:

You girls are so wonderful. Your support is so appreciated by me and has really touched my heart. I am glad that by sharing my story lots of other people can relate and we can support each other to not only becoming better role models but also doing something from ourselves. :grouphug:

Did anyone see Biggest Loser last night when they had the masterclass? Such a great episode on Friday nights where they get back to basics in the kitchen and show people how to make healthy alternatives to favourite foods.

The last couple of days I have been doing well. Nothing drastic, but have done some interval training ont he treadmill and this morning I went out to breakfast with a friend and it was huge, so I just ate half of it. I also picked up a tub of WW to fruits containers out of the cupboard instead of chocolate out of the fridge.

My mantra this week is "Little changes make big differences".

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My mantra this week is "Little changes make big differences".

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I LOVE this mantra :)
Keep up the awesome work hun! You can do this, I know you can! xxx

:hug: thanx for sharing ur story. I did see the Biggest Loser Masterclass. it was great. I thought the core strengh exercises were really good, and practical, the sort of thing you can fit in five minutes here and there.

You can do it Ali - if you fall off the wagon, just get back on it again the next day.

PS - i've got 30kg to lose - eek!

Malyna- thanks hun. I liked those core strength exercises as well. I was thinking I could do those when on the floor playing with DD. You can do it too hun. I started with 35Kg to lose and have done 10Kg. It sounds so daunting but I just have to keep believeing in myself and having all this support here definately is a big help.

Good on you Ali, I will be following your journey.
And you've lost so much already you are doing great!
So true all the little changes can make differences.

Thanks Shell. I am probaly going to put it into a blog. Been doing well so far, just need to keep consistent and give myself some 'me' time ;)

How inspiring Ali. I'm in the same place as you now. I don't want to be the weight I am and tomorrow I'm goign to start the changes by gettign a refferal to see a dietician.

You really are inspiring me with your story.

Wow Ali.. I swear i could have written that myself!
When i was skinny, i thought i was fat. and when i was fat.. i thought there was nothing wrong with me :wall: Not to mention my yoyoing weight over the past 10 years :o Sounds like we are also very close in weight atm, i've lot 11.9, and have another 20 to go.. ! Can't believe i let it get this bad!

I'm with you, we can do this.. hell we ARE doing this, and most importantly, we're never going to have to do this again! No more yoyoing! A lifestyle change - not just a diet :)

You have my full support, hot mummas - here we come! :dance:

Yay Ali! You should come join the diet and weightloss support thread, I am finding it really great, also I have lost 12.7kg and have about 25 more to go too!!