bfing at a funeral..

Yesterday was my grandad's funeral.

It was a cemetary service, in a country town, where it was bloooooddy hot hot hot. I was standing under the gazebo, near the coffin with DS (3months old today) in the pram. It was such a sad day, i was a bawling mess, as were all of my family (very close). There were about 300ish people there. Only close family were under the gazebo, the rest were standing the other side of the coffin directly infront of us iykwim.

DS was very cranky, can't blame him - and desperately wanted some booby. Being very casual about bfing, i simply sat down next to my grandma and fed him, still while crying and not letting the feed distract me from the lovely things that were being said. The coffin was lowered then ppl started to come over to give grandma cuddles and show their respect, all while i was still feeding my little man..

I didnt think anything of this at all until DH bought it up later last night. He said it was inappropiate, and I could have atleast moved the chair behind the other family so the sea of 300 ppl didnt watch. Now DH is sooo pro bfing its not funny, he helped me ovrcome my fear of feeding in public when DD was a baby - so for him to say this, has really got me thinking.

I cant stop thinking about it! I'm getting a complex about the whole thing! Did I really go too far? Should I have moved the chair? was it inappropiate??

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has done this... i feel like a fool. :(

If ya ask me, regardless of the circumstances, a cranky, hungry, thirsty baby doesn't wait. You still wanted to pay your respects and be there as much as everyone else. I'd of thought nothing of it.

I don't think it was inappropriate at all :hug:
I suspect your hubby is reacting more to his grief and redirecting it inappropriately, if that makes sense.

it was your grandad's funeral and you had every reason to be there and grieve and share the stories and say goodbye...so no, i truly believe that you did the right thing and it is nobody elses business.

:hug: sorry for your loss of your granddad xx

I don't think it was inappropriate either. A bubs has got to eat when a bubs has got to eat! :hug: I wouldn't have thought anything of it either.

Hi Tellytubby

I'll give you my honest opinion, I don't think it was inappropriate or disrespectful. Perhaps some mums may have moved to the back, but some may have done exacty like you. There is no right or wrong way! What you did was absolutely fine, don't worry. I guarentee the 'sea of people' weren't focussed on your boobies.
I think the only thing that would have made it inappropriate was if your grandma next to you felt uncomfortable with you bf'ing (just out of respect for her since it was her day sort of thing). Though I'm sure she didn't, it was probably a comfort to her watching you display show much love to your little one during such an emotional moment.

I bfed at my grandads funeral as my son was kicking up a big fuss.

i wouldn't have moved (actually, in similar circs, i didn't) - you were there to pay your respects - you went about being the mum your grandfather knew you to be. i think your DH is over reacting. if you weren't uncomfortable you should BF wherever and whenever your bubba needs you to

I don't think there was anything wrong with it & I don't think anyone else had a problem with it either. If not one person said anything.
:hug: Don't let it get to you.

Hun i breastfed at my grandmas funeral in the front pew and was even going to deliver the eulogy with him on my boob if he hadn't finished feeding . I also fed at my friends mil funeral as well!! Nobody would dare say anything to me- in fact I know my Nan was really wrapped that I was feeding!!
Bugger them hun- it's other peoples hang ups - not yours !!! If it didn't bother you at the time- it shouldn't bother you now!!
Good on you for feeding your bubs!!

I suppose the other option would be that you took your DS and left the funeral - which noone would have wanted you to do.

I think it would have ben fine.

I breastfed Jazz during the service of my granddads funeral, she was a week old and didn't think anything of it. I was sitting down, she was hungry... I wasn't about to leave just to please a few people who might have been uncomfortable about it. Don't let it weigh on your mind. If people are talking about you bfing during the burial, which I highly doubt they are, then they have very very sad boring lives!

Oh Telly I think it was entirely appropriate, maybe confronting for those not used to seeing it but everyones different. In all honesty I feed V whenever and wherever she needs it and it would have been better than hearing a crying baby iykwim... :hug:

What more fitting illustration that life goes on could there be than a new life being fed at a funeral? I think your actions were entirely appropriate. Circle of life moment in my mind, old life making way for new life.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your grandfather. :hug:

No I think it's fine. I bf ds2 at a funeral and my cousins wife was bf her son at the same service as well.

:

---

What more fitting illustration that life goes on could there be than a new life being fed at a funeral? I think your actions were entirely appropriate. Circle of life moment in my mind, old life making way for new life.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your grandfather. :hug:

---

I agree :)

I personally think that a crying upset baby would have been more offensive to the mourners than a quiet breastfeed could possibly have been.

I agree that it wasn't inappropriate at all. I bet the other mourners didn't even notice.

:hug: I'm sorry for your loss.

blah to DH i dont think it was innaproprate at all. you probably would have created more fuss about moving a chair, crying baby in arms, needing a tissue, and missing the lowering of the coffin.

i wouldnt even have thought twice about it! no matter where i might be!

Sorry ladies,
I've only just gotten a chance to reply.
Thank you so much for the lovely words.
I'm feeling much better now, knowing I'm not the only bfing mummy that really doesn't seem to mind where and when my boy is on the boob, haha! ;)
I really appreciate it, and thank you also for your kind words regarding my grandads passing - he was such an amazing man, and i'm sure i'll see him again one day :)
xx

What more appropriate place could there be to sustain new life, than at the comemoration of old life?

Good on you, and boo to your DH.

:hug: to you and your family xoxox

You could choose to have a chat with your hubby now and tell him how you feel and ask him to let you know if anything arises like this in the future that he has a problem with, that way it will save some anxiety after the event iykwim... After all he could have come over and asked you to come and sit down the back him or something if he was having a problem with it. I think many people there may have taken comfort in seeing 'new life' as a reminder that life is a cycle and whilst our loved ones pass away, new loved ones are born :hug: