Animosity towards the workplace? *Long!*

I’m a mum who’s been on family leave for a year after teaching for 4 years. In the time I’ve been home I’ve finally had the chance to reflect on my time at school (flying by the seat of your pants for 4 years left little time to digest positives and negatives).

So anyway, I’ve come to the realisation that I’m so angry and bitter at the things I’ve had to endure with little or no support that I just don’t know what to do. I know the no brainer is to “find a new job” but as this place is the only school I’ve taught at I don’t know if I’m leaving the devil I know for one I don’t.

Ok, I’m hoping this post will act as two things- 1. A vent 2. People can tell me if this is just the way things are and maybe I should just suck it up or find another career.

Rundown on things I’m still angry about:

-Induction (support) program consisted of ad hock information with a teacher I barely had any contact with, due to schedules. (I just felt very unsure as a first year out teacher.)

-In an Impromptu meeting (read: angry parent storming through school) where a parent said to her 12 year old child “don’t worry I’ll beat her ar$e if she says anything” referring to ME!!!! Because I kept her child in at recess because after 7 weeks of an 11 week term her child had lied repeatedly and not turned in ANY work whatsoever – ANGRY part...this was said in front of another teacher and the principal-and they did NOTHING to support me...NOTHING ..said nothing did nothing..i think they were just as shocked as i was that this came out of her mouth but still..this woman was ready to jump across the table because i wronged her kid- by making her do some work at recess and threatened afterschool detention if i didn’t get some progress. **which was to be presented at a local university in front of an audience mind you.

-at above said uni presentation, teacher interrupted my kids’ speeches (in front of 150+) and yelled that the buses arrived, “Let’s go NOW- we HAVE to go”..just embarrassing to me and kids...and uni lady (absolutely lovely) had made a complaint to my school saying it was the worst conduct she’s seen in a long time from an experienced teacher...(also my induction “mentor”)

-Always flying by the seat of my pants – ordered to JUMP with the only acceptable response being “How high?” but this is the school’s culture at the time...just very hard to reflect and improve on teaching when running someone else’s agenda.

Worst year by far*
-Team taught with a person who turned out to be nothing but a horrible Bully. I learned a lot of life lessons that year but I’m so angry that I reached out everywhere for support and didn’t get it. Bully and another Bully (high up- held powerful position in school) were friends so the political games made it very difficult. I found that there was no bullying policy at the school- and after threatening action I was debriefed by the school’s psychologist who said to avoid the person...At the end of the year the person was leaving the school and so their response was “well X is leaving so don’t worry just ride through the rest of term the best you can”
I would have to say the lack of support in this year was most detrimental .

So why this post now? They want me to come back to a permanent p/t position ...I have asked they call me for temporary work but they call an agency for a fill in-someone that doesn’t know the kids . ...I’m not able to commit to a permanent stress “all the time” situation when my baby still wakes throughout the night.

But it’s making me question and doubt myself as I gave everything I had (most teachers do!) and burnt out but still kept going, and when I had my baby no one so much as called or visited, and i just feel so much animosity that I just shake and want to cry. I still find I think about the bully and lack of support almost daily.

How do I build a resume when I feel like this?

If you got this far I’m very grateful you’ve taken time out to listen. Thank you.

That sounds like an appalling place to work. The principle should be providing her staff with support, training and counselling - that's all part of his or her job.

Could you try by doing some substitute teaching in other schools until you find one that feels right for you? Build up your confidence that way?

Good luck and I'm sorry I have no better advice

T
xx

Fellow teacher here... Can't give a long reply as I'm actually at work and on a class at the moment, but I do want to say that the way you have been treated is shocking. It shouldn't be happening.

And I thought some of the things I've had to endure were bad! :rolleyes:

BW

:hug: Man that bites. Traveller's idea sounds good - can you temp in a few places so you can gauge what 'normal' might be?

thank for your reply ladies, i didn't realise having that validation would mean this much to me..on your suggestions I've just called a few schools about their emergency relief teachers and they've just referred me to agencies..one principal said they've got a few ladies in the same position as me (family leave) and so they're pretty equiped with the casual staff they need but said to come down and put in my cv..which is fair enough..i liked his temperament and he even made me smile.. but then i also wondered why I'm not being given the same courtesy by my school...I mean, i feel so rejected! ..I'm a damn good teacher!! I'm there for the kids, not the politics!

Sounds awfully stressful. Well done for taking the first steps in seeking out a better workplace. Good luck in your hunt! xx

update...after being called and offered the part time, i had a think over the weekend about my options and tried to rework my schedule to see if i could handle it..I called on monday morning..had to leave a message...by afternoon i didn't hear back and figured they're busy, so I called back to find they left for meetings and wouldn't be back that day...this morning I called and got onto someone so I started to ask about negotiating a trial basis only to be stopped and informed that another person who already works at the school was asked and said they'd give it a go

Noone even called me to inform me!!!! I'm so mad I just don't know what to think...

Any suggestions on how to let my employer know how absolutely $h***y it was to do that to me? I just can't keep this in..so I need to find a way to express my disappointment in being treated this way...but i'm really bad at being tactful when so emotionally charged...

any advice would be appreciated...

Ummm... I don't know if different states are covered by different workplace agreements, but my school HAD to offer me the option of only returning to work part time after maternity leave, so shouldn't they have to offer you something?

Are you a member of a union by any chance?

BW

I am part of a union. And I thought it was up to the principal's discretion and what they could offer (as to part/full time) when I expressed an interest in coming off of family leave.

It's been a long time since I've been updated on this info though...

I just don't know what I can handle at the moment as they haven't called me for CRT work very often, and ds still wakes up sometimes 3/4 times per night..I DO want to get out of the house and work..but I don't want to get stuck with agreeing to go permanent anything if i just find i can't cope with the workload/hours necessary to do my job properly. then i'll have to resign and i'll be out with no way back.. if you see what i mean...

That sounds a bit rude!
What is your ideal atm? Perhaps try and work it out tonight so you have a clear idea of what you want. I would then ring your union and ask them what you are entitled to, especially about being offered hours and then not. I would also be open about your concerns - not sure what your particular entitlements are but I would imagine there may be some flexibility in regards to family needs etc. Good luck!
PS I always need to write the main points down when I get upset - otherwise I get offtrack very quickly!

My ideal would be to work two days per week (gradually increasing to 5 days per fortnight). I can't think of anything else to ask for...

Call the union and tell them everything, they will advise you what your rights are.

I went back to work when DD was 6mths old 2 days a week (horrible job share) and this year I am doing a 5 day fortnight (with an awesome teacher who also has a child so knowswaht it is like).

Honestly we are being treated like crap. Handed so much work, have got all the special needs kids and let me tell you we are doing a lot more work than what we are being paid for. I get to work at 7:15pm and dont leave until 5pm.

I laugh out loud in peoples faces when they say teachers only work 9-5! Pffft! I average almost 10hour days at school and I always feel like I have more to do.

Were you permanently employed at your previous school or on a temproary contract? I am in NSW so the system sounds a bit different.

Alibaby, I'll be ringing them first thing. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time as well..how do they get away with that though? I mean, surely they would need to share out the more needy kids so to make it fair on the other students? and your workload?? otherwise parents would complain? ...

I was permanent at my school for 4 years.

Good luck BabyQ - just ring to find out what your rights are. You can decide if you want to take it further after that. Hope you have managed to get a good night's sleep.

Ok, well this just gets better and better. Upon contacting my union, they advise me that if I were interested in coming back on a permanent basis I would have needed to inform my employer by November last year ..which I can see the logic in- so they can allot it in their budget- I get it...and I'm not stressed by it as I do have other options. I'll lay them out for anyone else who is interested in the info.

Option 1: as stated above, if interested in permanency, notify employer by nov 1 for the following year to be employed. (unless you can express some financial hardship that has recently occured making it necessary for you to return asap)
Option 2: Acquire a contract job at another school which would enable your employing school and new school to work out a temporary resumption of family leave. (time on leave clock still ticking down)
Option 3: Do CRT work which would not have any effect on family leave (time on leave clock still ticking down)

OK now for the situation where my work pulled out the carpet from under me. Get this...He said it's on a very fine line and sounds like they made an offer to me, especially as there is an email in writing, however ...

As it's not a FORMAL offer, they're not prepared to do anything.
(read: if Union and I were to take action, it's too hard of a case to win, therefore they won't)

Well, this has just been the icing on the cake, started the waterworks again.
I just feel so abused. :crying:

Oh dear! That sounds awful - I was hoping that the offer was going to help you out. Have you spoken to the person who made you the offer themselves? Grrh - I don't think I am helping you out too much...... Hang in there - I really hope that something wonderful comes out of all of this mess. xxx

Mak, I really appreciate all your help, and that also goes to everyone who put a hand out to show they care.. :)

As for speaking to the person who offered me the position, it has been a few days and all I can think about is calling them to tell them how disappointed I am that the offer was put out there and then reneged.

Does anyone have any advice on how I might (tactfully/concisely) let my employer know that this incident has left me feeling undervalued?

I will need to do this by the end of tomorrow I think, as waiting until Monday would probably lose it's effect, iykwim, and I really just want to put this behind me and focus on where I'm going (Mak, I think this is the part where the something wonderful might eventuate..i hope)
..aaaaaand it's my birthday next week..I wanna feel good and not be stressing.

No advice here I am afraid but I couldn't read without leaving a hug :hug:. You have been treated dreadfully. Hoping things improve for you.

Hi BabyQ – I have been reading your posts regarding your teaching position. It sounds really awful and by the sound of it you wouldn’t enjoy working there regardless. They have treated you with little compassion or support. It is disappointing that the union were unable to better assist.

If I were you I would try to see what else is out there. I don’t think this is typical of schools (although I am not a teacher!). Hopefully this experience helps you identify what you don’t want to see as qualities in a school / principal for future employment. In my opinion the principal creates or allows the culture of a school to develop. So your principal, by allowing bullying, not supporting you or even inducting you properly has allowed a certain culture to be part of the school. When you look for another school, keep this in mind.

As far as letting them know about how you feel about the situation, personally I would write a letter to get it all clear in your head first. Last year I left a job that I was very passionate about, partly because of the culture of the organisation and I wanted them to know exactly why I was leaving and have a think about the potential for other good staff to leave for similar reasons (although I can’t say it has worked – the place is leaking like a sieve with people ready to get out – LOL!). However, it did make me feel happier that I had clarified the issues in my mind and made them clear to the regional manager.

As I said, I first wrote a letter to him to clarify in my mind why I felt so awful about the job. Then I made an appointment time to discuss with the manager why I was leaving. We did this fairly casually over a coffee. I made sure I had the letter with me (not only to help me out, but this guy is notorious for missing meetings, having them late, needing to leave early etc.). Having the letter there and in concise paragraphs of the issues I wanted to address meant that I could bring up each point rationally with him. And to my surprise he really listened! He added comments where he knew there were issues and also showed surprise when he wasn’t aware of certain things. So I definitely felt very understood (unfortunately for the organisation, it sounded as though very little was actually done about things, though, but that’s their problem). I then left the letter with him, which went into more detail.

I guess, think about whether this is a way you would want to go, but it certainly felt good for me to be heard on this. And the least they can do is be appreciative that someone actually cares enough about their job and the school to come in and make an effort to do this. Good luck!

Star has made some great suggestions! I can get off track and emotional so I like to use email (partly as I am also a bit paranoid and like to have a record of discussions regarding changes of condition etc). Depends onwhat you are comfortable with and what is common practice. A simple and factual explanation of what occurred and why you are disappointed is probably best. Keep it concise and to the point. At least you will feel like you have stood up for yourself too. xx

Ok, wow. First, thanks so much to everyone for their support. After I read Star's message it gave me the little oomph I needed, so I went away and started drafting my letter. I basically said thanks very much for keeping me in mind when you were looking for someone, however i felt very unappreciated and undervalued by their actions. I also said I would appreciate it if they kept me in mind for short term replacement work and left it at that....

I had started going into detail and it got waaaay out of the short succinct point I really wanted to make. So when and IF they call (knowing them they will probably have forgotten about me by Wednesday!) I'll be sure to let them know what has been pointed out by you all that I didn't even realise- with the huge turnover they see at the school every year it might be worth their while to acknowledge the few people that care enough about their job to make an effort to be accommodating to their needs.

Thank you again everyone, you've given me the push I've needed for about 3.5 years now to seek employment where I am appreciated :grouphug:

ok...GET THIS....

I receive an email this morning saying they were anxious to hire someone and well, I'll just post the rest

"tried to find out whether you were available, ringing you and emailing you. Unfortunately X couldn't get in touch with you. I'm sorry for the mix up, but when you didn't response to X phone calls etc we moved on to the next plan"

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!! ...I waited around for the phone call on Friday which didn't come by the time they said they'd give me a call..but had my mobile on me (which they seemed to remember the number for when they needed me desperately earlier that day)

and by the time i got home that night everyone would've gone home! So as i said before i called monday twice and didn't get a response so called back tuesday...

SO NOW it's MY FAULT ...or am I reading this incorrectly? LOL this is just fantastic....glad to see their true colours ...just sorry it took so long..

Argh how frustrating! Some people never accept responsibility for their actions etc.
My first reaction would be to point out that you made contact, were available BUT I really doubt that you will get the response you deserve and want (given the history etc). So I would get out there and find the perfect job knowing that you have given it your best and couldn't have done anymore. It really sounds like their loss and that you may be much better off elsewhere. xxxx