My loss at 6 months.

Hi all,
My name is Amanda I am 20 years old. I wanted to share my story with people who have been through the same thins as I have. I lost my little girl at 28 weeks gestation. On the 17.02.2010 I went to my normal midwife checkup, but previosuly to that at 25 weeks I called the hospital as I hadn't felt her move for 5 days. I went in and had an ultrasound. This ultrasound lasted all of 1 minute, which to me was too fast. All they checked was that she had a heartbeat of 150bpm and was kicking but I still didn't feel it. I seen it, but didn't feel it. I was sent home with no instructions to come back if I still didn't feel her move. I thought she was fine. All her ultrasounds before that I was told she is growing well and nice a healthy. At my midwife appointment they tried finding her heartbeat, but couldn't. I straight away knew something was up. They sent me over to have an ultrasound. I looked at my little girls lifeless body in disbelief. She was gone. But why? 3 weeks before I was told she was nice and healthy with a good heart rate. I wasn't satisfied with the ultrasound done 3 weeks prior because I thought they should have checked my placenta flow. Obviously there was a reason I couldn't feel her kick. On the 18.02.2010 they enduced me and I give birth to my daughter, Ella Joy Dudzik at 2:55pm. The pain I felt knowing I wasn't taking my little girl home with me is unexplainable. She had everything waiting for her. She had the best of the best, and never even got to see it. She was so loved and cared for through my whole pregnancy. In the formal ultrasound they done I was told she was only measuring as a 21 week gestational age. How could that be? How could nothing be picked up on my 22 week ultrasound? (18-20 week ultrasound, I was just late to get it done) She weighed 670grams and her length was 34cm. They told me by the look of her skin she died shortly after the 25 week ultrasound. My body is longing for my daughter. I am so lost, hurt and angry. I wish I could turn back time. She was my future, she was all I wanted and cruelty took her away from me.
I just needed to get my story off my chest, because myself I find it was such neglegence from the lady that done my ultrasound (mind you she was also yawning through the whole 1 minute of checking my daughter).

R.I.P my little angel.

Im so sorry for your loss :hug:

Welcome to BB Amanda, I'm sorry it's under such sad circumstances. Sorry for the loss of your precious little girl, I'm sure you'll be able to find lots of support from the wonderful women who make up this forum, it really is a special place.

Hun: I am so so very sorry for the loss of your baby girl, Ella.:comfort: I too understand your pain as I lost my baby boy at 36 weeks. What you are feeling is totally normal hun, it hurts really bad and you are in such a raw stage of your grief. Please know that you are not alone, there are sadly many of us who have lost babies and we are here to help you through this pain. Please take a look around the Miscarriage and Loss forums when you feel up to it as you will get nothing but understanding and support.

Take care sweetie :comfort:

Lv Spring xx

Oh sweety I am so very sorry xx

So sorry for the loss of your precious Ella, my heart aches for you :hug:. Please know that we are here for you, to offer comfort and support. May the memories of your angel remain in your heart forever.

Regards,
Dianne
Emmanuel born sleeping @24wks

So sorry for your loss honey,, hugs to you. Sorry

:hug: hun, so sorry for your loss of little Ella.

Take care hun, everyone here is very supportive. So just no the support is here if you need.

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I cant even imagine the grief and pain you must be feeling. I am thinking of you and praying for you xxx

I am so sorry for your loss. :hug: Your story is so much like mine. I lost a son at 22 weeks and then a daughter at 28 weeks. They were not growing as well as they should have been. Be sure to ask your doctor about low dose aspirin and/or clexane. They worked a miracle for me.

So sorry that you have come to BB under such sad circumstances. Thank you for sharing your story.

Hugs to you

RIP little angel Ella.

xoxo

Oh sweetheart, I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet little angel Ella. My heart is breaking for you :(
____________________________________________
:angel:~Noah~-2006 (20w5d) :angel: 2007 (8w2d)
& 4 earth babies

I'm so so sorry for your loss. :hug:

Fly free precious girl.

xox

:hug: I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart really breaks for you. Life can be so cruel :cry:

RIP beautiful little Ella

Welcome to Belly Belly sweetheart. I am so sorry it is under such sad circumstances. This is such a painful & difficult time. Please know you will get through this - with lots of time & support. You will find much loving support in our community here. Have you got spport around you at home? Have you been in contact with organisations such as Bonny Babes or Sids for Kids?

We are all here to help you & to remember your Ella & to help you through this time.

Sending you all of my love & support... Fly safely little Ella xxx :hug:

Hi Amanda, welcome to BB - I'm so glad you found it right when you need it.

I can't imagine the pain you are experiencing right now, all I can say is thank you for sharing your story with us and offer you a big hug :hug:

There are so many supportive and understanding ladies on here - I hope we can help you through this.

:comfort:

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, :hugs: please take care of yourself

I am so sorry on Your loss. But try again My best Wishes with you.
Best of Luck.

:hug: I'm so sorry to hear about your little girl Ella =[ i hope you find support here xxx

Thankyou for your kind words. Unfortunatley we never found out what happened to Ella. The post-mortem only revealed that she had stopped growing at 21 weeks and probably struggled to stay alive then eventually died at 25 week, probably shortly after my ultrasound 3 weeks before I found out she had gone. I don't understand why they didn't see she was measuring so little at my 23 week ultrasound... so confused. But I now have to let go and try and heal. She was to beautiful for earth and is playing with all the other angel babies now.

Mummy and Daddy love you baby girl.

Amanda, I am so sorry to hear that.

Fly free angel.

I am so sorry for you loss sweetheart, she was just too beautiful for this earth.

Take comfort in knowing she is flying free, watching out for you & her future siblings.

Thinking of you
xxx

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.:hug: I wish I could do or say something to make you feel better.

Manda - my heartahces with your loss and grief. Your precious little Ella knew she was loved and loved so completely , and now she is always with you loving you back, just close your eyes and reach out with your heart and you will find her there.

Grief is a tough journey and I hope you are finding a way through. As Inanna said, you will get through this, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. Don't aim for there, but just each day as it comes, or even each moment as it comes. Time doesn't heal, but what it does do, is let you incorporate your feelings and experiences into the person you now are.

If you have questions, don't be too afraid to ask them.

Go gently.

:comfort: