I know I am going to be ok

Well I thought I had better post in here so everyone knows what is going on.

I posted in my pg update yesterday

:

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I decided to go the the emergency Dept after leaking a bit of fluid and then having some brown/pink blood. I was quite a bit upset, and I wasn't holding out much hope. I waited for 2.5hrs and finally got called in. The Dr took some blood and I waited to go for a scan. About half an hour later I was wheeled around to the u/s dept and had a scan. My bladder was very full so at first the scan was through thte abdomen. We could see the yolk sac, but not much else. The sonographer let me empty my bladder and we did an internal. Still not much. No heartbeat and the gestational sac measuring 6w4d. I decided to walk back to the ED and waited for an hour for the dr to see me again. He told me they want me to have another u/s in a week. They can't rule out ectopic. I waited for another 20mins for someone to pull my bung out and eventually I was home by about 5pm (I got there at about 10:40am).
So, I think I am going to m/c very soon, I knew there was something not all together right about this pregnancy, now my fears have been realized.

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Today I got up and I was still having black bleeding. I got on the computer and thought I had better go to the toilet and I think I have just passed the sac. So it is done. And I am really sad! I was 8w2d.
I know I am going to be ok, but at the moment I can't stop crying. Why couldn't this happen when I was pregnant and 14yo! Why didn't it happen when I was midway through my studies and contemplating termination. Why does it happen when I planned to have another baby. Don't get me wrong I love my girls and I am happy I didn't have to go through m/c then... I don't know what i am trying to say.
I feel like maybe someone somewhere is trying to tell me not to have a forth. Not sure what we are going to do, I suppose it's one hurdle at a time, huh?

Tanya

Oh Tanya sweety I am sooooo sorry (((((((hugs)))))))

Tanya i am so sorry to hear of your loss :hug:

Oh Tanya,
I can't believe it, don't try to be too brave have a cry or a rage. No one should have to go through this. We are all here for you :hugs:
Bec

Tanya sweetie, i am so so sorry to read this. Although I can only imagine what you are going through, I do understand what you were trying to say. Please don't apologise for your feelings. Right now I just want to come down there and give you a great big hug.

Again Tanya, I am so, so sorry that you have lost your baby. Don't worry about what you're trying to say, we all know what you mean sweetie. Lean on us, we are all here for you. Lots of big :hug: to you and *mwah* kisses too.

I'm sorry Tanya.... life is full of funny little twists & turns...... some not so funny. Some are just really hard to understand.

Chin up & hugs to you.

Oh Tanya-- what s shock.

Life is not meant to be understood and neither are the obstacles that get put ahead of us.

You may never have these answers but I hope you find it in your heart to continue on and be the best mother that you deserve to be
:hug:

My love is with you, Wato and the girls

Tanya I am so sorry to hear your news. Life throws us challenges and sometimes they really dont make any sense do they.

Please know that you have so much support on here.

Aww tanya I am so sorry to hear about your loss :hugs:

Love

Oh Jesus.... I am sooooooo sorry matey... I don't know what to say. My thoughts are with you and your beautiful family at this time..... I am just so upset and hurt and angry for you... what a completely sucky thing to happen :(

Awww Tan :hugs:

You poor chook :( Just think if this had happened when you were 14, you would not be the woman you are today & you would not have the gorgeous girl you have now. But I do understand what you're saying.

Tanya, i'm so sorry hun. I just don't know what to say right now, but know you're in my thoughts :hug:

Oh hon, I'm so very sorry, I know your pain all to well.

My thoughts are with you sweety :hug:

So very sorry Tanya :(

Jo

I'm so sorry for your loss Tanya. No woman should ever have to go through this.

Thinking of you and your family.

Liss.

Oh Tanya, I am so very very sorry to hear about your loss.
All my love and thoughts are with you and your family. Take care of yourself won't you.

Tanya, again I am soooo very sorry for you hun. I guess sometimes bad things happen to good people. Not that it makes it any easier to handle I know. If you need anything be sure to yell out. Even it's to scream, cry, swear at. Hey, I'm a big girl I can handle it :)

Love to you and your family at this sad time.


Take care
Trish

Oh Tanya I am so terribly sad to hear about your loss :cry:
sending you a huge hug sweetie :hug:

Oh no Tanya, not you. I am so very sorry to read your news, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

If you need anything, to vent etc just pop me a line, I`m here for you if you need me.

Hugs to you.

Take Care

Dee

Sweets, I don't know what to say, except I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Big hugs to you, Wato and the girls. :hugs:

Oh Tanya sweetie, i am so sorry to hear of your loss, we are all here if you need us hun :hug:

Oh Tanya I don't know what to say I am so so sorry this has happened.

Thinking of you :hug:

Bon

Tanya,
Life just isnt fair...

Big Hugs matey, take time to deal with this & find your way again... Before making any decisions....

Bug Hugs matey!!!!

If you need me at any time hun, remember that i'm here for you. My number is on the back of that catalogue, so don't be afraid to use it!

All our love to Wato and the girls.

Jess

OMG, Tanya, I am so so sorry. :cry: :hugs: to you.

My heart sank when I read your post and tears ran down my face. I too know you will be ok, but please give yourself time to grieve before making any decisions.

If you ever need to chat I am here. I would be more than happy to give you my numbers if you would like them.

I know your little ~angel bub~ is up there with ~Matthew~ and all of ur ~angel babies~ watching down on us.

Take Care matey

Loadsa Love
Kazz & co
xoxoxo

Tanya, Watto and Girls,

So sorry for the loss of your little one.

Tanya,

I totally understand what it was you were trying to say.

(((HUGS)))

Oh no Tanya :( Big hugs for you and your family.

sending you hugs :hugs:

oh Tanya I am so so sorry, I have tears streaming down my face for you, I am speachless but wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and that you are in my heart, I am so sorry that this has happened to you :hugs:

tanya,my sympathy to you,dh and your girls,i am so sorry,we are here for you
nikki

So sorry Tanya, biggest of hugs heading your way.

Hi girls,
Thank you so much for your kind words, they really do mean a lot!

I have had wonderful support from my family. Mum came to visit last night just to make sure I was ok. She gave the girls a bath and did my dishes. My sister was over yesterday afternoon and she did my dishes...lol, I am very greatful I hate the dishes!!

Alecia is absolutely devistated! She wants me to get pregnant again NOW!! LOL. I think she is stil hopeful that I am still pregnant, but I have no doubt that I am not. Poor mite!

I have been absolutely exhausted, but I think I am healing well! I feel much better today. I have made an appointment for an u/s as per the dr's orders, for next week. I will be sure to ask if I can jump on the wagon again. I am very keen to start ttc again.

Once again thank you :)

Tanya

Tanya, I am so sorry for your loss.
Hug your family close and cry your heart out if you need to.
I hope you are given the ok to TTC again soon

Tanya I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are with you & your family at this difficult time.

Sweety I am so, so sorry to hear of your news. Please takecare of yourself. :grouphug:

Shazz.
xx

Tanya, I am so sorry for your loss.

Oh Tanya,

I am so sorry this has happened - what a miserable thing to have to go through.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Take care chookie.

Hugs,

Sorry I took so long to get on here and post my condolances Tanya. Its a crappy thing to happen to you, and I'm so sorry you've had to go through it.

I have an appreciation of your feelings, so just let me know if there is anything I can do. Chuck me a message anytime.

Fi

Tanya i just saw your post and i am so truly deeply sorry!. Your emotions are all over the place and that is understandable. But please do not give up, it does not mean that you are not meant to have another one, it is one of those awful natural occurances that just happens. So sorry sweatheart your heart must be breaking. :cry: :grouphug: it's all just :bs: !! Thinking of you - Roslyn