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Hi all,
Would like to hear what other people think of the statement that it is easier to have and look after 2 kids than it is to just have the one. I have an only child at the moment and lots of friends tell me I am so brave to have just the one cos it is so much easier with two. What is your experience? Do you agree or disagree?
After just having #2 i can say its definetly easier raising #2. We're a lot more at ease at her crying, im more relaxed feeding her etc than i was with #1. But i dont think its easier having 2 as oppose to 1.
how much of an age difference is there between your two mbear?
My best friend has one child a son and she has always found it very difficult to keep him amused and will often have to invite lots of friends over all of the time so that hes not bored or continually relying on her to entertain him. He is 11 now and he has always found it so much fun being at our home where he has playmates his age. She has often felt guilty at not having had a sibling for her son though he probably does appreciate the fact that he has always had her undivided attention..something that families with more than one child cant generally do.
HTH
Jo
My three are all 20mths apart and I found it harder getting used to just having the one child. Erin just fitted in so well and three is a breeze ;) . Seriously, having two seems easier because like mbear said, you are more relaxed plus you are already in somewhat of a routine by the time #2 arrives.
It is totally personal though, some will be run ragged with two and others will cope with 10 kids. I haven't had only one child for long enough to notice that much of a difference, but if I had a second child when the first was several years old, then that would be different.
At the moment I'm finding it really full-on coping with an 18 m.o. and a newborn but I'm hoping that once Imran is a little older it will be easier.
Dach, it does it easier, promise!!
Olivia was born when Olivia was 17 months (and still not walking!) and it was chaos: for me, much harder than just the one, despite the fact that Charlie was an "easy" baby.
Now Olivia is nearly 2 and a half, Charlie is 9 months, they "play" together in a limited but hilarious fashion, and it is definately easier for us....
3 girls in our playgroup have just all had 2nd babies and they all say it is harder then they expected. They all find it hard to feed the newborn without the help and or tears from the other, however I'm sure this will pass as they get use to their new sibling!
I don't think it is easier with two than with just one. I found it really full on at first, even though I was more relaxed with Grace, and though it does get easier as time goes on and they get older, it can still be hard at times just dealing with the both of them and their needs. They are 21 months apart. Of course, having said that, it is really sweet when they play together nicely.
Logically though, how can looking after two (or more) children be easier than just looking after one?
Bon
I think my friends logic behind the two being easier is that they don't want your attention all the time as one child usual does. They have a play mate other than mummy so you get a bit of "me" time. I don't really know as I only have one at the moment, would love a second, but hubby has said not now. He finds it really difficult to cope with just the one so I think he would have a nervous breakdown with 2. He works from home so is always here and DD loves to play with daddy but he is trying to work. So I'm hoping soon that I can convince him into another as DD is 3 years old and I really don't like the huge age gap between siblings. If not then I will only have the one.
I`m 28.5 weeks pregnant with #2, there will be 15 months difference between #1 & #2, I expect the early days and first few months to be very hard but after this once the baby is older and more interesting for my son to play with I feel everything will run more smoothly.
My DH has 2 sons from a previous marriage who are also 15 months apart, they get on extremely well together, it`s great.
I think two is harder. I do miss the time when my first son and I were best buddies and we did everything together. Now often he wants a cuddle or to go to the toilet and it's such as stuggle because I'm feeding the baby in the high chair. We used to make pizza together for tea, but we can't manage things like that with a crying baby at our feet.
On the other hand, nothing makes me happier than when Brandon tickles his baby brother and they both giggle. I think it will be great when they are older and can play together, but it is hard to divide your attention.
Maybe my situation is different coz IO have a 7.5 month old & a 7.5 year old...
But I can honestly say having the huge gap ATM is a poure breeze, Maddy can entertain & even feed iNdah whilst I am showering, tidying, getting readyetc...
Maddy can read books to Indah & move her when she has crawled toward stuff..
Maddy spends the whole time asking me if she can do this or that with Indah, or put her here or there or whatever... Indah smiles the minute she sees Maddy & is so excited when Maddy talks to her...
They may be 7 yrs apart, but I think they'll get on fine... HavinG the big age gap is a bonus ATM, who knows in 5 or 10 yrs time... But hopefully in 12ish months we will have #3, so then I can tell you what 2 far apart & 2 close together are like!!!!
You won't know what hit you Barley:). You'll be needing Maddy's help even more :).
i had 21mths between my first two children and 4 1/2yrs between number 2 and number 3. both were great :) yeah sure the 21mths apart were busy and tiring, but i made sure every morning that i showered after i fed ds (before dd woke up) then i would make a huge platter of snacks and made up drinks etc for me and dd so when i did need to sit down and feed ds then i would grab the platter and drinks out, we also had a favourite book that was read during feed times. i remember the special moments when ds went to bed at night, my dd stayed up later for her special cuddles. i found that ds just slotted into doing all the things dd was doing eg playgroup, swimming etc - and consequently alot of the playgroup mums had their 2nd babies around the same time.
4 1/2 yrs is great - ds is a wonderful help with lani, and she just adores her big brother and loves nothing more than meeting him after school with big cuddles - if anything i am busier and doing alot more now cause i am running ds around to school and after school activities, so we don't get to stay home as much.
you know what it just all works out in the end and you just cope, somedays i look back and think how the heck did i manage to get all that done and why am i so tired, but wouldn't change anything for the world.
With a 3yo and a 2 week old, so far it's been interesting, but not too hard. I think it's been more of an emotionally hard time for me than anything coz I worry about dd getting enough attention when I'm feeding etc. I guess as ds gets older it may get a bit harder because he'll be more demanding on my time, at the moment he sleeps alot.
The age gap has been fantastic though, dd has been a great help, and loves being mummy's big helper and getting nappies, wipes etc when I need them. Her favourite job is picking Josiah's clothes for the day.
Good luck convincing DH - hope he comes around for you soon!
Bel
I found it so much easier having 2 than 1, all of my friends think i'm mad, but when i was feeding Ryan, Nick was fascinated, he would ask questions and talk to Ryan when i was feeding, Ryan also slept alot in the first 6 months, so it was easy to give Nick the one on one time that he was used to.
It will be interesting when #3 is born though, Ryan is such a mummy's boy, where as Nick is so independant and can't wait to have another baby in the house.
I only have one DS, but i have a sister 18 months younger than me. My mum said the first 6 months of my sisters life was the hardest of her life, but once my sister could sit by herself we amused each other and it was easier from then on for her than most of her friends who only had one child. My sister and I have always been really close and we are still best friends now. And now i can say I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. But when my sister was a little baby I used to wet myself every time mum sat down to BF her!!! I would really love to give Evan a sibling close in age if possible.
WOW! 15 months age gap, don't know if I could have handled that. I wanted a 2 year age gap between mine but that has now passed. My sis and I have a 2.5 age difference and we love each other to bits so that was my reasoning for having a 2 year age difference. Hopefully if I get to have another they will along and love each heaps. Heres hopeing.