Uncomfortable situation

Say you had met another couple you had a lot in common with and seemed to "click", and intended on catching up. At the time you met it was a social situation, dinner & drinks. The couple mentions a business they have and are quite passionate about recruiting people to join. It sounds like a pyramid scheme so we politely decline for other reasons (no time/no money etc). Then some time later, instead of planning the family catch up, one part of the couple asks if they can come and give a presentation of the business model. It's an awkward situation, not only is there no interest in the business (we honestly don't have the time either) but now feel slightly pressured. Because we want to be friends... so feel obliged to listen to the presentation... but we've already said it's not something we'd have time for/need/etc.... Not sure why they're asking to do this..... It seems redundant to submit to the presentation when there's nothing that would change our minds. But it seems rude to say "no you can't come over to do the presentation". Is there a polite way to say "we'd love to catch up, but without the presentation"? I feel really uncomfortable about it, and was quite surprised as they seemed to understand when it was initially brought up. I even joked about saying i hardly have time to keep on top of the housework let alone run a business from home... they laughed and seemed to get it, they moved on. Also my DH works 9-10 hour days with 2 hours a day commuting time. So this just isn't going to happen... We're not sure what to say though...

What would you do?

Oh how awkward.....pyramid schemers can be so pushy! Could you perhaps suggest going out somewhere for dinner or a drink? That way you could avoid the presentation as they probably wouldn't want to do it in public.

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"we'd love to catch up, but without the presentation"

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That sounds perfectly polite to me!

you gotta be upfront from the get go or they'll be pressuring you all the time and it could really ruin things if there is a friendship there.
personally I kind of give people like this a miss. I had a great friend from school and she has contacted me on fb, so nice to chat with her, but the conversation usually goes like this "oh hi, just ringing to see how you are ", then I go on and on about what's going on and she pretty much cuts me off to ask if I can have some of my friends together so she can show us new stuff she has because she has a target to reach- not a real good base for a friendship at all.
if they don't react well to you telling them you'd like to catch up without the business stuff they aren't worth it in the end..

good luck, pretty sticky situation to be in.

BTDT. I was introduced to a really interesting and friendly woman who I really got along with. Then she started the sales pitch. No matter how many times I declined she persisted and sprung her presentation on me one day when I went over for a cuppa. So not cool with me and I told her I wasn't impressed. I've ignored her attempts to contact me ever since because I know she had a motive.

I'd be upfront from the begining and let them know that you are not, in any way interested. You don't need to provide reasons. You don 't have to explain yourself. I hope they respect your decision.

I've had a friend ask me about doing the business presentation. I told him I wasn't interested in the business but if he wants to practice, he's more than welcome to come over and I'd give him honest feedback ;)

Oh that sounds so familiar lol. Sorry I have to laugh cos it seems like the "standard" thing that happens when someone is involved in a scheme like this. A very good friend of DH and I used to pressure me all the time as in calling when DH was at work and often drop brochures off in the letter box and then call the next day to see if I'd read them and then last year he called DH and asked him to attend a presentation at their home. DH told him to back off otherwise they'd lose our friendship and is that what they really wanted :redface: He seems to have gotten the message.

If I were you I'd just tell them straight out you're not interested in the presentation but would love to catch up for a drink or go out for dinner somewhere. Good luck :)

Oh I totally agree on how annoying and disappointing it is when your friends start doing the "hard sell" on you or your family members. Especially when they don't let up even when you say no!! I agree that just saying your would love to catch up without the presentation is perfectly polite and honest. I think that getting their hopes up by letting them do the presentation could cause annoyance on both sides - you will see it as a waste of your time and they will too if you don't end up giving them the positive response to the presentation that they may be expecting.

Difficult situation to be in, I know - I am sure you will handle it perfectly :)

Everyone has given you some great advice already, it is an awkward situation to be in, I have just had the same sort of thing happen to me, was really disappointed as this girl seemed really nice and genuine, but after I made it clear (for the 3rd !! time) that I just wasnt interested in selling her stuff, she stopped wanting to be my friend...:shakehead:

Hopefully in your case, they will respect that and just want to have another nice couple to be friends with.:)
Just be straight with them, what you suggested sounds really good.

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That sounds perfectly polite to me!

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Me too.

Me three, just remember these ppl are being rude in the 1st place, sometimes ppl like this think that if they cant just present it to you etc they will change your mind, just let them know the truth otherwise this kind of thing will probably just continue

Gosh, honestly and maybe I am a rude person myself :lol: but I would just tell them that you love hanging out with them, although you really are not interested in it at all. And that its great they are but your not

i totally agree with everyone else.
My brother and his DF tried to sign us up to... i just had to be firm and tell them NO I"M NOT INTERESTED!

Wow thanks! i'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks its a bit weird.

So i told my dh that when he rings again to just say that nights are really hectic for us as my dh doesn't get hom til 7pm, then we have dinner and bath the boys, put them to bed. We're not done until about 9pm. So it couldn't be a worse time. I said to suggest that he come by on the weekend with his wife and kids so our kids could have a play - kind of making it more of a get together....

But yesterday the guy just left a voicemail asking my dh for our address! as if just assuming he's coming round friday night! I'm getting annoyed now, i really don't want someone coming around that time of night, especially for this kind of thing!

So i told my dh to ring back and suggest my plan, which i hope he understands.

I'm starting to think maybe our first impressions were a little off, because its coming across as pushy now, not the kind of people we want to be friends with.

Tricky situation .

Just say you would love to catch up etc but are not interested in the presentation etc
if they keep pushing u about it , they are not worth being your friends anyway

wow - does sound very annoying. The fact that they are not listening to you saying you can't get involved/not interested in the business sounds like they are not going to be very good friends. In my opinion friendship is based on trust and if you can't trust these people to listen to you then i would probably just try and back away quietly. Sorry no real advice as i know how uncomfy these situations are and it would be easy for me to say do something when it's not me having to do it.
Hope you manage to sort it out without too much stress - and really hope they don't just show up on Friday!
xxxxxx

Thats a great point Plonkee, I totally feel like we're not being listened to. I've tried giving the benefit of the doubt and see it from their point of view as though maybe they think this is such a great opportunity that they want to share it?? But we were pretty blunt when they first brought it up - time being the main factor. Neither of us would have time to run this business.

It reminds me of a scene from this movie called "Go", where this couple invite this other couple over and halfway through dinner the real reason comes out. They bring up this business called "confederated products" saying everything in their home is a result of confederated products.... the guy then goes "do you mean like amway", the husband says "no no, not amway, confederated products!" almost in frustration!

I can see the funny side of it, but overall i'm disappointed. Dh and i have no combined friends. He has HIS friends and I have MINE. We really want to make friends with other couples who have kids. This seemed to have potential but i'm feeling really dubious now.

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It reminds me of a scene from this movie called "Go", where this couple invite this other couple over and halfway through dinner the real reason comes out. They bring up this business called "confederated products" saying everything in their home is a result of confederated products.... the guy then goes "do you mean like amway", the husband says "no no, not amway, confederated products!" almost in frustration!

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:rofl: That's the first thing I thought of when I read your post the other day!

How awkward for you :(

This has happened to me with a family member that I hadn't seen in years. He and his wife came across all friendly and genuine and wanted to 'catch up'. When you find out the real reason for them being so nice is to fund their 'business', it's like a slap in the face.

Sounds like you're at the point where you just have to come right out and say, 'Thanks, but no thanks'.

allycat, i know that part of the movie was hillarious because i didn't see it coming!

I am actually really peeved right now :wall:

I told my dh to say to "x" that nights are really bad timing (which they are!) because thats when we're having dinner and putting the kids to bed. X wanted to come at 830pm, which is right about when we're putting DS2 to bed. That's hard enough as he likes to stall, but if someone turns up he's going to want to come out. Anyway so my dh said that it wasn't convenient but how bout they come on the weekend during the day, bring the kids so they can have a play (more of a family thing you know). Well X said that they're busy on the weekend so he'll just come round tomorrow night!

I am livid! How rude. Plus come friday night i am exhausted.

What should i tell my dh to do or say? i don't want him to bother coming round at all.

Can you hide in a room out the back and pretend you're not home or hang out at the neighbours... :)

Nah, the boys bedrooms are at the back of the house, the middle is open plan: play room/kitchen/dining/lounge (huge open area). So the sound of their talking is going to go right to my boys rooms grrr! The front room is my dh office and opposite is our bedroom. But i shouldnt have to hide out in my own house. Its just the point that its bad timing, pushed in to it, and extra work for me because i'll have to make sure i clean up before he comes. House is generally tidy but come friday toys everywhere and baskets of washing to put away because i do all that on a saturday.

LOL - been their done that, got the t-shirt.

In our case it was my BIL and SIL, we gave up rejecting and actually ended up sitting through the presentation. twice. And then we would 'misplace' the catelogue, or forget our password (for the online account they set up for us), until they lost interest.

Amway. AKA - Network 21

Ahhh, the things you do for family.